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2013-01-08 06:54 3335513 Anonymous (laytonluke1.jpg 373x505 28kB)
>see someone cute on way to English class >think "cool, maybe she'll be in my class" >discover she's the professor English/literature/philosophy/history stories thread.

1 min later 3335517 Anonymous
Also Sorry for botching the greentext. Posting from my phone.

2 min later 3335524 Anonymous (1354328971137.jpg 469x302 49kB)
>4th grade science >Hot as fuck teacher >She wore a see-through black shirt with no bra one day >Didn't even know >Got in trouble with the school >Mfw dose tits Almost related, but hey.

19 min later 3335580 Anonymous
someone make a version of "hot for teacher" except indie and called "cute for professor", tia

21 min later 3335590 Anonymous
>>3335580 I love you.

1 hours later 3335702 Anonymous
>first day of class >all interviewing each other and one question is what book we'd recommend to the class >like a third of the class has no book to recommend >the Princess Diaries is recommended, along with Da Vinci Code and Twilight >I recommend the Rebel by Camus >Interview partner says "Alberta Kaymuss"

1 hours later 3335728 Anonymous
>>3335702 hahaha, oh man. Reminds me of a time >1st semester English comp class >prof assigns everyone to bring in a nonfiction book for some purpose (I forget why, something to do with organizing essays) >I bring "Unsafe at Any Speed" by Ralph Nader >everyone else brings biographies of musicians

1 hours later 3335741 Anonymous (reggie.jpg 360x270 29kB)
>first day of CS class >no girls >aspies shouting memes and telling crappy tech jokes

1 hours later 3335759 Anonymous
>>3335741 Oh dammit, really? Are all CS classes like that?

1 hours later 3335764 Anonymous
>>3335759 Yes, I shit you not the ACM club at my school has lan parties where they play minecraft. Also if I hear one more joke about how Windows 8 sucks I am going to jump off a bridge. CS majors are the worst.

1 hours later 3335766 Anonymous
>math major for job security >enjoy and am good at writing >first essay of the year in English 101 >get it back, only person above B >teacher is disappointed I'm not an English major

1 hours later 3335785 Anonymous
>>3335766 >math major for job security So you're planing on being a math teacher? Or are you going to grad school?

1 hours later 3335787 Anonymous
>>3335766 >>3335785 Seriously bro pure Math isnt a great degree.

1 hours later 3335791 Anonymous
>>3335766 >math major >writing an English essay Is this what America's actually like?

1 hours later 3335793 Anonymous
>>3335759 Yes. Mine was like that too. Some of them just learned of Rick Rolling.

1 hours later 3335794 Anonymous
>>3335791 2 years of shitty gen eds

1 hours later 3335799 Anonymous
>>3335513 >>3335741 >Start first semester of CS >Everyone in every class thinks they're the smartest motherfucker in the room >Start second semester of CS >Same self-important aspie fucks >Fuckthis.jpg

1 hours later 3335801 Anonymous
>in Greek philosophy class at university >guy has to give a presentation on Plato's ideal society >opens his presentation by saying the Odyssey was his favourite of Plato's works. >don't see him in the class for the rest of the year I would like to think he was kicked out but he probably couldn't be bothered to show up again.

1 hours later 3335805 Anonymous
>>3335799 Most of the guys in my CS classes are the dumb aspies so they arent stuck up. Physics students on the other hand.... I took a intro physics classes and half the fuckers though they were the next Einstein

1 hours later 3335806 Anonymous
>>3335728 I find this story particularly adorable. >teaching assistant in undergraduate class at very straight-laced, preppy school >nearly everybody is business casual except for shy bulgarian metalhead freshman cutie >turns out she can't write for shit and has really weird ideas >always horrified at inappropriate moments by everything that happens in anything we read even though it's mostly comedy >help her out a lot with her assignments, she starts to show signs of grammar >think she's kind of dumb but develop paternal affection for her >she starts getting with the older wrestling bro dude who usually comes in late and slouches in the corner >feel strangely disappointed >teaching is weird

1 hours later 3335807 Anonymous
>>3335513 Fuck with her.

1 hours later 3335810 Anonymous
>>3335513 To bad you're a CIS-man op.

2 hours later 3335812 Anonymous
>class last semester with hot as fuck 20-something professor >wears hip but not too hipster outfits that perfectly fit her petite body >masturbate furiously after every class in my dorm room I'm having another class with her this upcoming semester, can't wait

2 hours later 3335814 Anonymous
>>3335806 >teaching is weird I'm subbing right now...High school girls who obviously have crushes on me make me really, really uncomfortable. They seem to try harder, though, so that's good.

2 hours later 3335819 Anonymous
>see someone cute on way to English class >think "cool, maybe she'll be in my class" >discover she's the professor >class starts >she speaks >Okay, everybody lets open up the first course literature book "It's all the white mans fault"

2 hours later 3335820 Anonymous
>be in small college town >semi-new, don't know anyone >bored and horny >go to gay.com >no homo >talk with handsome guy for a while >he keeps talking about how great my physique is >mentions he loves being dominated >make plans to go over to his place >pound his ass mercilessly >he tells me I'm the hottest guy who's fucked him, by far >depart >first day of classes, next day >waiting for literature class to begin >guy I plowed the night before enters and begins class

2 hours later 3335834 Sunhawk
>>3335820 >go to gay.com >no homo Actually made me laugh out loud. Why does this thread even exist though?

2 hours later 3335841 Anonymous
>>3335820 Did you get an A in the class?

2 hours later 3335842 Anonymous
>>3335814 Yeah, there's a weird erotic element of teaching. You are a smart, sharp, not-much-older-than-your-students authority figure who may well be the first man they've ever met who also has an abiding passion for Jane Austen in a setting where you're trying to make them feel comfortable and encourage banter. I am professional and in my experience the girls who have crushes on the teacher are generally the shy type, so boundary-setting is rarely an issue, but it's always weird.

2 hours later 3335844 Anonymous
>>3335764 >be in CS class >look at what the guy next to me is doing >he's working on his Team Fortress 2 website instead of doing what the prof is explaining. >He's also browsing 9site on his smartphone >He keeps mumbling memes to the people sitting next to him. >Tell him to be quiet and pay attention >'lol, stop hating, hater' I shit you not

2 hours later 3335845 Anonymous
>>3335844 Haha, that guy's my new hero.

2 hours later 3335846 Anonymous
>First year at University studying English & American Literature >Everyone in my seminars are all shy as fuck >I sometimes have to lead the class >I dread going back to this

2 hours later 3335848 Anonymous
>>3335841 Yes, but entirely by way of my literary prowess and nothing beyond. I hope.

2 hours later 3335851 Anonymous
>>3335846 It's not really that they're shy, it's that they think discussion groups are lame and don't teach anything.

2 hours later 3335863 Anonymous
>>3335851 >this is what shy people actually believe about themselves

2 hours later 3335865 Anonymous
>>3335851 Thats essentially how English is taught here. They're mostly qt girls too.

2 hours later 3335868 Anonymous
>>3335846 I did this as well despite normally being very reclusive. Keep doing it though anon, it helps you form your own ideas and express your opinions. Plus, bitches will see how smart you are and obviously associate it with you having enormous penis

2 hours later 3335871 Anonymous (J5YTH[1].png 1250x895 236kB)
>>3335845 >>3335844 Take a look at your Hero's YT preferences.

2 hours later 3335873 Anonymous
>>3335863 Not true. I've been in many discussion groups, and where I always made an effort to say something (anything) to fill the long, awkward silences, I knew many people in the classes who were outgoing and opinionated but otherwise shut up like clams during discussion groups. >>3335865 I know. Isn't it sad that the best way they've come up with to teach literature is the discussion group, which everyone dreads.

2 hours later 3335878 Anonymous
>>3335873 If people just did the fucking required reading it wouldn't be a problem. The only people who dread discussion groups are those who haven't done the week's reading but still want the attendance mark

2 hours later 3335881 Anonymous
>>3335871 Hey, Africa's a great song. >He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry, boy, it's waiting there for youuuuuuuu."

2 hours later 3335882 Anonymous
>>3335794 >tfw four free years of glorious pure maths education

2 hours later 3335884 Anonymous
>>3335878 That's not true either. I grant you that a lot of people don't do the reading, but it's erroneous to think a lot of people who are quiet during discussion groups haven't read it. I'm telling you, they just think it's pointless, and they're probably right.

2 hours later 3335886 Anonymous
>>3335873 People who are outgoing and opinionated in some contexts can be shy in a classroom context. The whole point of the undergraduate literature class is to get you comfortable discussing literature in a semi-academic fashion. If you think discussion isn't key, you don't understand what it is that the field of literary studies has to offer. Discussion leaders often do a bad job, sure, but it doesn't mean that discussion itself is the problem.

2 hours later 3335887 Anonymous
>>3335884 >your unqualified statement is false but my unqualified statement based on my limited experience is certainly true

2 hours later 3335888 Anonymous
>walk into an English class at the beginning of a semester >class is packed, get seat furthest from the door >teacher walks in >she looks familiar >realize, after 15 minutes into a 3 hour class that she's my doctor, to whom embarrassing confessions have been made >nope. >gather my things, and make my way clumsily over to the door >need to find a new doctor

2 hours later 3335891 Anonymous
>>3335884 If that's the case why do they turn up? I'd much rather you and your fellow dead weights didn't turn up if you plan not to contribute, for a more deep and fruitful discussion can occur if the seminar leader isn't trying to force such people to say something for the duration of the session

2 hours later 3335893 Anonymous
>>3335887 You must be a rock star in discussion.

2 hours later 3335894 Anonymous
>>3335891 I read but I am just super shy and beta as fuck. I can still learn something from discussions even though I dont participate

2 hours later 3335897 Anonymous
>>3335891 Because they have to. Consider it more of a silent protest than "deadweight".

2 hours later 3335899 Anonymous
>>3335894 It's okay David, it'll all be alright

2 hours later 3335907 Anonymous
>>3335897 From the perspective of a teacher, if a student isn't participating, about 20% of the time they have a chip on their shoulder and think college works in a bullshit way and that they're above participating. About 40% of the time they think that they're above participating but this is a defensive justification for why they don't have a clue about the material. Just totally lost. Often these are the people who I imagine are outgoing in normal social life and who aren't used to their lack of confidence in the classroom and so put it off as superiority. About 40% of the time they're just shy motherfuckers.

2 hours later 3335912 Anonymous
>>3335907 About 60% of the time English teachers make up percentages

2 hours later 3335915 Anonymous
>>3335912 Yes, they're clearly made up and there for rhetorical effect rather than rigorous demonstration.

3 hours later 3336019 Anonymous
>new school year at now school beginns >grade 11 (I am from Germany) >first class is German >at the end of the break a petit but hot as hell girl enters class room >hoping she will sit close to me >bell rings >she starts the lecture >she was my German teacher for the next 3 years, god damn was she hot

3 hours later 3336033 Anonymous
>>3335888 Your doctor teaches a uni English class? What?

3 hours later 3336095 Anonymous
>>3335842 >passion for Jane Austen >posting on /lit/ Unlikely.

4 hours later 3336124 Anonymous
>>3335915 >[rigorous demonstration possible by quoting a percentage] Did you skip Stats 1?

4 hours later 3336160 Anonymous
>>3335759 yes. and fat guys with t shirts of video games too. It's horrible.

4 hours later 3336167 Anonymous
>>3335741 >shouting memes The horror. The horror.

4 hours later 3336229 Anonymous
I am an outgoing member of discussion in my 2nd year of English Literature in a university at the UK. I don't go shy when placed with shy people, I just lead the conversation if I can see the tutor is desperate for answers and such and they normally like it cos we get somewhere without "Anyone... Anyone?... No... *wait wait wait*. Man. Also not reading a book only slightly hinders the ability to talk about it 'semi - academically'. If you had to talk about it 'academically', that's where it becomes obvious that you've read the blurb and a wikipedia entry. I.e. all of /lit/

4 hours later 3336248 Anonymous
>>3336229 >you've read the blurb and a wikipedia entry. I.e. all of /lit/ Nice one matey. Epic. Anyway, I'm an 400 IQ genius and always take charge of discussion groups where I solicit opinions of out the shyest of partners, only to crush them with my superb, and also correct, interpretation of a book. See this the professor will often ask me to teach the class for the rest of the semester while he/she sits in the front row taking thorough notes. Honestly, being this perfect is nothing but a hassle.

4 hours later 3336278 Anonymous
i wish i had funny college stories to share. any other blue-collar high school graduates with no further education and no prospects on /lit?

4 hours later 3336286 Anonymous
>>3336033 CC not uni. But yeah, apparently. Wat was my reaction too

4 hours later 3336305 Anonymous
>>3336286 I told my barber I was an English teacher and she told me her community college English teacher also worked at Outback Steakhouse. Youch.

4 hours later 3336315 Anonymous
>>3335871 Oh Allah be merciful no

4 hours later 3336333 Anonymous
>>3335844 >>3335805 >>3335799 >>3335741 I'm a CS and CE major and I'm not anything like that. Usually I find these meme spurters in other majors that are in the arts. Not to say that a lot of these fagish people don't exist in the CS world, they do, but not all of us are like that. I loathe people like that actually.

4 hours later 3336344 Anonymous
>>3336305 M-maybe he's just doing research for his novel.

5 hours later 3336348 Anonymous
>>3336333 I'm a dog and I'm not anything like that. Usually I find these meme spurters in other kennels that are in the Pyrenees. Not to say that a lot of these fagish dogs don't exist in the dog world, they do, but not all of us are like that. I loathe dogs like that actually.

5 hours later 3336353 Anonymous
>we start discussing the 'university memes' in my literature and philosophy class >thinking 'Oh, God, no, we might have to talk about internet culture >we talk about internet culture >one member of my class starts describing 'memes' and explaining what they are >keeps saying them >mfw when classmates laugh Does anyone else think about how if you tried to talk about memes to non-4channers a few years ago you would get no reply and stony faces?

5 hours later 3336360 Anonymous
>>3336344 I was like, did you see him there or something, and she told me he told his class he worked there! He told them! Why would you ever do that?! Needless to say it made the rest of the haircut a sour experience. Wasn't a particularly good cut either.

5 hours later 3336369 Anonymous
>>3336360 >He told them! Why would you ever do that?! Pathological liar full of shame and self-loathing detected.

5 hours later 3336370 Anonymous
>>3336353 no because I have never tried to talk to people about memes

5 hours later 3336385 Anonymous
>>3336369 Even St. Augustine would agree that it's okay for a professor to suppress the fact that he or she moonlights at Outback.

5 hours later 3336391 Anonymous
>>3336370 "memes" aren't exclusive to the internet, you know.

5 hours later 3336428 Anonymous
>>3336385 I don't understand why more English majors don't go into Tech Writing and then teach a class or two at a Jr.College/University? It's what I do only with History courses.

5 hours later 3336473 Anonymous
>go to school that is ranked in the top 10 for my major in undergrad and grad >develop intense intellectual crushes on professors, regardless of gender or age >understand the boundaries very clearly >fuck around with boundaries anyway because i like the professors so much and its not as creepy if a student pushes boundaries than the other way around >sometimes i get carried away and the teacher punishes this by giving an assignment a B does anyone else know feels like these

5 hours later 3336498 Anonymous
>>3336473 You're lying to yourself.

5 hours later 3336513 Anonymous
>>3336473 Dude, don't do that. It's not cool and it makes your professors tiptoe around you.

9 hours later 3337059 Anonymous
>pretty shy >don't talk much in class >psychoanalysis class packed with qts >we are discussing the phallus and female orgasm >totally mortified, don't say anything for forty minutes >professor: "anon, you're the only man in the room. surely you have something to some thoughts about the phallus." >i sputter like when you rev a lawnmower

9 hours later 3337068 demiurge
>>3337059 >not arching your eyebrow, smirking and going "Just thoughts?"

9 hours later 3337071 Anonymous
>>3337059 >"It's pretty swell, having one, I mean." How hard is that?

10 hours later 3337078 Anonymous
>>3337071 Penis isn't the phallus, bro.

10 hours later 3337085 demiurge
>>3337078 go away lacan

11 hours later 3337278 Anonymous
>>3336348 oohh kay but you fucked up the loathe part. It would be I loathe fagish* dogs like that

11 hours later 3337285 Anonymous
>"teach the class" assignment >put into groups >sick on the day we present >teachers assigns me last chapter to present alone >spaghetti the entire 40 minutes >teacher doesn't grade me or speaks about it I cracked under the expectations of being the one of the more insightful during discussions.

11 hours later 3337297 Anonymous
>>3336473 >starting with that line >selfish inconsiderate behavior Is this how teacher's pets continue to develop?

11 hours later 3337298 Anonymous
Good Morning Students, I am Professor Dykestra, and this is Intro to World Literature. If you are in the wrong class, I suggest you find out where you are supposed to be. Now let us begin. For those of you who have gotten a chance to look at the addendum, I have put together a lovely and comprehensive reading list, from female authors from around that world. I hope for those of you who aren’t familiar with the selection, that it will open your vaginas---I mean, minds. But before we begin, let us get some of that freshman year jitters out of our system with some yoga breathing exercises. Now everyone, clasp your hands and raise them high above your heads, good. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. Now breath in through your mouth, and out through your vagina. Yes, your vagina can breathe, you just have to try. See look, now you’re doing it. Yes, your vagina gives you strength, don’t you ever forget it. Humanity is born out of the vagina. Without the vagina, none of you would be here. Yes breathe out through your vagina. Feel the muscles of your feminine power contract.

11 hours later 3337299 Anonymous
>>3337298 For those who have a penis, try imagining you have a gaping and roaring ferocious hole in the middle of your legs, and visualize yourself breathing through it: I’m sure that will suffice. Now that we’ve gotten ourselves relaxed and empowered, let us further discuss some of the themes we will be learning about through our novel studies. We will be dealing with world-wide perceptions of femininity and the varying roles of women. We will also discuss how men have violently portrayed and raped the image of women throughout history: either portraying them as vile temptresses (in the case of Adam and Eve) or as dutiful, submissive, and loyal women (such as Penelope). Seeing as how the bible has no author, there is a high chance that female authors had a hand in writing it. Also, it is said that the works of Homer may have been a group of people, which must have included women. There is a high probability that the Odyssey was written by a woman, and not a man. Now, if the course load scares you, I will have office hours to console crying vaginas who want lenient extensions. If you have a penis however, you best suck it up. The world isn’t fair, women make 6% less than men. Men rape us all the time and we have to have slut-walks to try and stop this from happening anymore. Women need more help than men, now more than ever. Since this is an introduction to the course, you may all leave early. Good luck everyone.

21 hours later 3338480 Anonymous (now that's what i call edgy.png 373x327 229kB)
>first lecture of American studies >teacher asks why America invaded Iraq >girl raises her hand and says Americans are the real terrorists

23 hours later 3338741 Anonymous
>>3338480 But it's true. They are doing it because of the jews, USA's greatest ally.

23 hours later 3338746 Anonymous
>>3338480 That's not edgy at all. It's quite an accurate observation.

23 hours later 3338751 Anonymous
>>3338741 blame it on the Jews

23 hours later 3338753 Anonymous
>>3338746 It's not really what the question was about though, is it?

23 hours later 3338765 Anonymous
>>3337059 I know that feel. Somewhat related: I'm in an intro to poetry course (Rough translation) and every time we discuss love poems I can't bring myself to point out all the innuendos that everyone else misses or pretends to miss, too. It's even worse when I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into it because I don't want to seem like I'm obsessed with sex. Being one of three boys in the class does not help, either.

23 hours later 3338771 Anonymous
>>3338753 Well if we take the americans to be terrorists then it can assumed that the attack upon Iraq was an act of terror (check) which was aimed at enforcing the ideological desires of America upon the natives of Iraq

23 hours later 3338774 Anonymous
>>3338771 But was the goal to strike fear into the hearts of Irakis?

23 hours later 3338783 Anonymous
>>3338774 Yes, for it lead to them taking to American ways in fear of annihilation. America in Iraq is a more radical development of gunboat diplomacy

23 hours later 3338812 Anonymous
>>3338753 You're right. she should have said: >teacher asks why America invaded Iraq "America illegally Invaded Iraq because Saddam announced that he would be trading oil in the Euro and America was set to loose billions from the federal reserve. On top of this, America is a bloodthirsty terrorist nation, who have attacked countries on 51 separate occasions since 1950. We also have to factor in pandering to the nuclear-armed, non-NATO allies, location to Russia, prevention of the ideology prevalent in central Asia, and the need for an external enemy figure to fear"

23 hours later 3338820 Anonymous
>>3336473 It's not so bad if you're not an annoying little cunt during class This girl in my class was always yelling stuff out loud and everyone in the lecture hall was just like "what the fuck are you doing ho?" Stop doing that shit during class, it's annoying to the rest of us

24 hours later 3339029 Anonymous
>>3335907 You're forgetting the 90% of the 30% that read the material, but do not know how to actually read, interpret, seek meaning, or otherwise extract substantial insight or at least put their own perspective onto a work.

25 hours later 3339119 Anonymous
>>3339070 >>3339070 >>3339070

25 hours later 3339251 Anonymous
>>3339119 >bumping the thread for that Way to go, buddy.

25 hours later 3339254 Anonymous
>>3339251 Place is already dead, nothing wrong with kicking the horse for... kicks.

27 hours later 3339674 Anonymous (Pfffffff.jpg 500x333 70kB)
>>3339254

28 hours later 3339702 Anonymous
>>3335702 So do you pronounce his first name Albert? Or Albear?

28 hours later 3339706 Anonymous
>>3339702 Al-bear Ka-moo

28 hours later 3339759 Anonymous
>>3337071 >How hard is that? Heh. Puns.

29 hours later 3340021 Anonymous
>>3339029 What systems exist to actually expedite this process? It comes naturally to the intellectually gifted, and there's no denying that. But how might we substantially assist the process of building connections and associations between distantly located ideas?

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