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2013-08-10 10:48 8180085 Anonymous (1358436613868.jpg 620x473 141kB)
http://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g 191-c3541/United-States:Customs.Hab its.And.Etiquette.html top fucking lel

3 min later 8180121 Anonymous
Americans, what are good ways to avoid tips with minimal consequences? I know: - Have many places you know, rotate through them so they can't remember you. - Pay with a credit card, then write 0 on the tip, by the time they see you will be gone. - Pay with one of those christian prayer pamphlets that look like a 20 bill.

6 min later 8180153 Anonymous
>No means NO in big block letters, not ask again. American women will occasionally wear short skirts, sleeveless shirts, makeup, perfume, might even show some cleavage: she's just trying to look feminine, and often she will do so whether on the beach or in the boardroom. If she smiles at you while dressed in this way, IT DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN SHE WANTS SEXUAL ATTENTION AND IT REALLY, REALLY DOESN'T MEAN SHE WANTS TO BE TOUCHED. What kind of savage needs to have this explained to them?

7 min later 8180172 Anonymous
>>8180153 >Once an American does embrace or kiss you, however, it is a guaranteed sign you have made a friend for life or sometimes something more. Spontaneous bear hugs are not uncommon if an American grows fond of you! I don't know why that is so funny to me

9 min later 8180197 Anonymous
>>8180085 >they have to explain to you that public urination is bad Yeah, we're the ones worth laughing at

9 min later 8180198 Anonymous
This is written with a very specific kind of American in mind (incidentally, a subgroup of white middle class Americans) and I'm pretty sure this is a group I find despicable and distasteful; I happily violate these rules to annoy and offend them.

10 min later 8180204 Anonymous
>Spitting Spitting is unacceptable in any public setting except for baseball players on a field. If you have a cold and cannot avoid spitting up phlegm, use a tissue and then throw it away. Thats some bullshit. no one actually gives a fuck. just dont spit on my floor.

10 min later 8180206 Anonymous
>>8180121 That last one is the ticket, because they probably wont hate you, but christians in general

11 min later 8180229 Anonymous
>>8180206 It's more conspicuous though, so what if they're more likely to remember me?

12 min later 8180231 Anonymous
>>8180121 I claim that I never added the tip and charge back the transaction.

13 min later 8180255 Anonymous
>>8180231 Doesn't that create issues when you do it all the time? Doesn't your bank complain?

13 min later 8180259 Anonymous
>>8180229 Thing is, if you don't do it that way they will definitely remember you, do it this way and you've got a 50/50 chance of the waitress or whatever being preoccupied with your perceived religion

14 min later 8180270 Anonymous
>>8180255 >putting your money back into your account banks like it when people have more money in their account, plus they probably don't give a fuck.

14 min later 8180283 Anonymous
>His hands are in his lap!! Yes, that is normal. If you aren't eating, it is polite to have your hands either rested in your lap or casually laid out on the table, so you are comfortable while you chat. The thinking isn't that you are hiding something under the table with your hands. You are just sitting patiently waiting for either the next course or for the bill, so you might as well be comfortable. In what countries is it considered rude or threatening to have your hands on your lap/concealed after a meal or in general?

16 min later 8180306 Anonymous
>open link >ctrl+f clapping >0/0 results I don't trust that guide.

17 min later 8180322 Anonymous
>>8180270 The few pennies you get or lose from tips aren't important for them though, they're after the millions. If you have so little money that you care about tips, chances are your account is more trouble than it's worth to begin with.

17 min later 8180327 Anonymous
>>8180085 >No means NO in big block letters, not ask again. American women will occasionally wear short skirts, sleeveless shirts, makeup, perfume, might even show some cleavage: she's just trying to look feminine, and often she will do so whether on the beach or in the boardroom. If she smiles at you while dressed in this way, IT DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN SHE WANTS SEXUAL ATTENTION AND IT REALLY, REALLY DOESN'T MEAN SHE WANTS TO BE TOUCHED. A woman's place, politically and practically, is the equal of a man in America in most every way conceivable and the way she is dressed is more a nod to the fact that she is a woman, but nothing more than this. It is a very, very VERY big mistake to assume anything else. Well that escalated quickly.

17 min later 8180328 Anonymous
>>8180283 Everywhere. It looks like you're touching yourself under the table. Keep the hands visible.

17 min later 8180330 Anonymous
>>8180283 countries where dudes are required to have a knife on them at all times and where they also regularly kill each other for something their great grandparents did to each other probably like to see every ones shit slappers at all times.

18 min later 8180339 Anonymous
>To eat the average, triangle shaped pizza, take the pizza and fold it in half, so that you get a slightly smaller triangle. Take the pointy end and put it in your mouth. Chew. Swallow. Repeat until you get to the crust (eating this part is a matter of taste.) Wipe your mouth with your napkin as you go to remove any excess sauce. do americans really fold pizza in half?

19 min later 8180352 Anonymous
>>8180322 Exactly, you've made the point I wanted to let you make on your own, its so little money that they couldn't actually give a fuck. There is still incentive to have all the money you can in there, at my bank if you have over 1k you don't have to pay fees on your account, but really they dont care. Also if hes someone this butthurt about tipping, hes probably frugal enough to have more than pocket change in his account

19 min later 8180353 Anonymous
>Americans usually talk to each other from a distance of about two feet (.6 meters); any closer is viewed as uncomfortable. (Closer contact is reserved for closer accquaintances-the barrier shall break down as they get to know you.) Jesus Christ how horrifying. Stay away from me!

20 min later 8180374 Anonymous
>Many guidebooks will tell you that you are not supposed to eat pizza with a knife and fork, and they would be right So far the only universally correct and enforced rule here

21 min later 8180381 Anonymous
>>8180283 In France, and maybe the very posh circles of certain former French colonies.

21 min later 8180390 Anonymous
>This is totally different to the American style of eating dinner. In America, you are expected to eat with whatever hand you use to write with. Hence, right handed people, or the majority of the table, will be expected to cut up their meat and potatoes into small, bite sized bits and then switch the fork back to their dominant hand. If you are naturally left handed, then proceed to eat lefty, and watch the others: they will be eating their food with the tines facing up, not down, spearing their food and putting it in their mouths. Americans confirmed for savages.

22 min later 8180396 Anonymous
>>8180352 But my point was this: If you eat out a lot, and then you ask for ~100 chargebacks every month, won't the banks get annoyed and say, "fuck you and your $5k balance, piss off, we don't want your business"?

23 min later 8180402 Anonymous
>>8180374 No wonder American women desperately seek european (Mostly British :\) men if you eat like animals. German here

23 min later 8180408 Anonymous
>>8180396 I don't think they can kick people out for not tipping.

24 min later 8180425 Anonymous
>>8180402 >eating pizza with your hands >eating like an animal Pick one and only one. Explain to me how holding the crust and eating a pizza is any different from holding a sandwich and eating it.

26 min later 8180444 Anonymous
My dad cuts his pizza up with a knife and fork and it's weird as hell.

26 min later 8180451 Anonymous
>>8180408 But they might revoke your credit card for too many chargebacks.

26 min later 8180460 Anonymous
>>8180339 >do americans really fold pizza in half? Only if they're huge slices that you can't handle easily otherwise, but that's sort of a specialty thing that some pizza places do. For lots of places and especially for takeout pizza, you don't need to fold it.

26 min later 8180463 Anonymous
here is a bongland one if anyones interested http://www.ediplomat.com/np/cultura l_etiquette/ce_gb.htm

27 min later 8180471 Anonymous
>It is considered rude to walk in crowds with a lit cigarette as this could end with someone being burned. It's rude because no one wants to breathe in that shit.

28 min later 8180479 Anonymous
>>8180460 you pretty much only fold it if it's thin...

28 min later 8180482 Anonymous
>>8180339 You do if you only cut the pizza into quarters or something, generally when you get delivery its cut into eight pieces and you don't have to fold it

32 min later 8180545 Anonymous
>>8180463 http://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g 186216-c1712/United-Kingdom:Customs .And.Etiquette.html this time from the same website

35 min later 8180586 Anonymous (Gesture_raised_fist_with_thumb_and_pinky_lifted[1].jpg 600x400 45kB)
As if anyone is actually gonna encounter someone using this in a genuine manner.

35 min later 8180589 Anonymous
>>8180545 Why is this one so short compared to the American one? Boo.

35 min later 8180596 Anonymous
This kind of shit makes me actually wanna go to other countries and see what of my daily behavior is considered rude.

36 min later 8180615 Anonymous
>>8180586 I live in hawaii and this is used a lot

37 min later 8180627 Anonymous
>>8180589 I imagine it's designed for Brits or Europeans >>8180615 Well that's hilarious

37 min later 8180630 Anonymous
>>8180463 >In England, when invited to someone's home, arrive at least 10-20 minutes after the stated time. Never arrive early. In Scotland and Wales, arrive on time. Seriously?

38 min later 8180640 Anonymous
>>8180545 >Whilst not strictly taboo, it is best to avoid certain topics of conversation amongst any new acquaintances, as they can evoke strong and occasionally unpleasant reactions: >Fox hunting

39 min later 8180656 Anonymous
>>8180640 People are either supporters or venomous denouncers of the sport in the UK

39 min later 8180664 Anonymous
>>8180463 >You should leave a very small amount of food on your plate when finished eating. But... why?

41 min later 8180686 Anonymous
>>8180664 these rules seem more suited for high profile business meetings it means dont lick your plate clean like some kind of starving animal

42 min later 8180707 Anonymous
>>8180664 If you eat everything, posh middle class socially conservative britishers who think they are upper class and cling to obsolete traditions will assume you're trying to signal that you are unsatisfied with how little food has been served.

44 min later 8180741 Anonymous
>>8180707 lol that's some serious passive aggressive shit there

44 min later 8180749 Anonymous
>>8180425 Not that guy but from my experience as a English guy who travels a bit.. Dominos, Pizza Hut and shit, by all means it's casual, eat with your hands. However if you order a pizza from a proper restaurant, you should eat with a knife and fork. It's just the more civilised thing to do, especially when others are eating different things.

45 min later 8180766 Anonymous
>>8180741 Welcome to Britbongland.

46 min later 8180785 Anonymous
>>8180766 >Britbong is this a new meme

48 min later 8180820 Anonymous
>>8180785 No, it's very old.

50 min later 8180856 Anonymous
>Women do not go topless in swimming pools. It is a perfectly acceptable practice to utilize a tee shirt to prevent severe burns on snorkelers and patrons of waterslides alike. awwww, no fun

51 min later 8180869 Anonymous
>>8180820 can't be that old, doesnt have an urban dictionary explanation

52 min later 8180885 Anonymous
>>8180545 Men and women wear wools and tweeds for casual occasions. Slacks, sweaters and jackets are appropriate for men and women. >2013 wearing tweed

52 min later 8180898 Anonymous
>>8180664 Britbong here. We're encouraged to eat everything, usually by grandparents who lived through rationing and throw a hissyfit if a single scrap of food is wasted. I thought the 'leaving a bit of food on the plate' thing was Japanese?

55 min later 8180944 Anonymous
>>8180869 Not everything said on 4chan gets an urban dictionary entry. At least I hope not. Britbong is at least 2 or 3 years old.

55 min later 8180956 Anonymous
Dont insult the royal family or show great interest in their private lives >Daily Mail not pulishing a news story about Diana every week

58 min later 8181002 Anonymous (ss (2013-08-10 at 05.45.39).jpg 499x257 29kB)
>>8180944 Isn't it from this though? This was only posted in the year of our lord 2013-1

58 min later 8181009 Anonymous
>>8180664 we tip using food rather than money

58 min later 8181011 Anonymous
>Controversial topics may include politics, religion, homosexuality, racism, abortion, criticism of the government, and criticism of an individual's patriotism. >criticism of the government >criticism of an individual's patriotism. Pffthahaha, America, are you even trying?

1 hours later 8181068 Anonymous (1312677924280.gif 624x648 41kB)
>mfw americans tip 20% while wearing their shoes indoors while folding pizza and clapping when a plane lands

1 hours later 8181070 Anonymous
>>8181002 You know, I have no idea. I like to think its older, but it might be completely new. I probably spend to much time on /v/.

1 hours later 8181072 Anonymous
>>8181011 American here. Not everyone is like this, but, I have encountered other Americans that would be completely willing to fight you over both of those things.

1 hours later 8181094 Anonymous
>>8181011 >everything the government does is right and is done in your best interest and questioning it is wrong Good goyim

1 hours later 8181174 Anonymous
>>8180085 As a murrican, reading this is weird as fuck. I'm reading about shit that I know of and act on subconsciously every day and never think about. fukkin crazy m8

1 hours later 8181181 Anonymous
>>8181068 >clapping when a plane lands lost it. that said, whenever I fly back between spain and the uk all the non-uk people (not just spanish, it's pretty much a smorgasbord of euro folks) seem to clap and cheer like they've been through some ordeal, while the rest of us facepalm quietly

1 hours later 8181271 Anonymous
Well, if you look at any other country it's practically the same bullshit. Most Americans don't give a fuck if you speak to the 1 meter away or 2. This is retarded, and 75% of my highschool smoked with police everywhere. I can't even believe Europeans believe this crap. And how is this top lel? Most of it is common sense.

1 hours later 8181438 Anonymous
Why do americlaps not simply pay their serving staff a reasonable wage, thus negating the need for excessive tipping?

1 hours later 8181556 Anonymous
>>8181002 That's a repost, I've seen that copy pasta as early as 2011

1 hours later 8181800 Anonymous
>>8180172 >>8180172 because it refers to the "American" as a kind of wary dog that you should feel accomplished when they show enough trust to get excited when they see you

1 hours later 8181889 MJ Mage
>>8181438 That would make too much sense! the reality is this is a way for restaurant owners to maximize their profits and get around having to pay minimum wage. It benefits restaurant owners tremendously

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