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2013-06-01 01:51 7151936 Anonymous >tfw no wife (1369233512743.jpg 701x1000 203kB)
It's Friday night, robots. Let's talk about marriage.
Try to avoid the "she's going to cheat on you, divorce you, and steal your shit" schtick.We already know.
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
>What do you expect from a spouse?
>Under what conditions would you get married?
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
8 min later 7152050 Anonymous (1369630504172.jpg 833x1000 208kB)
>23, male, in long distance relationship with gf of 4 years
>Yes. Being single all my life seems lonely and fruitless. In 3-5 years.
>Marriage is a lifetime commitment, you get to share your entire life with this person, through the good and bad, and each person benefits the other.
>I just want someone who makes me happy, is laid back, will love me despite my issues, and likes to cook for me.
>When I realize I can't be without a girl, and am pretty confident she won't screw me over at some point, I'll wife her
>Living in small town, with wife and 4 year old child.
>I don't know what I provide ;_;
>Very likely. I'm slowly getting used to this fact.
>Very depressed and cautious. I'd probably already be married if it weren't for this and /r9k/
14 min later 7152133 Anonymous
>>7151936
>22, male, long term relationship about 2 years
>I'd like to get married, hopefully before I turn 30 (ideally around 25-26). I love the idea of not only sharing my life with someone, but to have someone to build a fortune with (kinda like a power couple i guess)
>loyalty, and open mind and heart.
>at 36 i hope to be sucessful at having a medical practice, two kids. great marriage. will have done travel as well
>money, i like to listen too.
>maybe. but i feel like who i marry is gonna settle for me too.
>I mean things to do fall apart with marriages, but that's a risk you gotta take. I'm just worried about all of the infidelity that goes on in marriage. I'd hate to be married and five yers down the line my wife gets bored and fucks the plumber.
22 min later 7152240 Anonymous
>>7152133
>I'd hate to be married and five yers down the line my wife gets bored and fucks the plumber.
Definitely. Cheating sucks, it's so random. But consider that she could have that same thought about you. It's all about loyalty and trust.
46 min later 7152531 Anonymous
>18, male, single
>Yes, it looks like a nice life, around 30
>Lifetime commitment
>Cooking, cleaning, and raising the kids
>Having plenty of money
>Making a lot of money, 2 kids
>Financial and physical security, having a masculine husband
>Nope
>Not good at all. I will most likely never get married for fear of divorce and losing my kids/money
57 min later 7152678 Anonymous
>18 male, single
>Maybe if I could find someone that I could really trust but I don't think I can
>Trying to keep who I love around
>Not to leave me
>I am not sure
>Stable job or career in USCG
>Nothing
>No
>They don't work because women whore around
1 hours later 7152873 Anonymous
Good taste in idols, OP.
1 hours later 7152908 Anonymous
>20, male, single
>Yes. I imagine it must be wonderful to have a person to cuddle with, do things with, and care for for like 60 years.. When I'm 25-30.
>To cement your personal feelings for another person. To say that this person is so wonderful you want to spend your entire life with.
>Someone who enjoys my cooking, will support me in my hobbies, love me, all sorts of things.
>Someone quiet and calm, with only very personal friends, and very close family members. No religious affiliation with the ceremony.
>Maybe, maybe one kid. 2 jobs, lots of vacations. Cuddling on the weekends. Going on fun adventures. Everything I dream of.
>Getting to hang with me. Tax benefits. My cooking.
>No, I'll never settle. I'll die alone before I "settle" for a subpar spouse.
>I think people rush into marriages without being sure they totally want to commit If I find someone worthwhile, I think we can make it last
1 hours later 7152973 Anonymous
>I'll die alone before I "settle" for a subpar spouse.
What would be subpar to you? Your list of requirements was fairly short.
1 hours later 7153043 Anonymous
>22/male/single
>Yes, before I'm 30. Sooner is better. I've just always wanted a life partner.
>To show a bond between two people and starting a family, whether through children or some other manner.
>Fidelity, support and honesty.
>After successfully dating for a few years.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
>>Get home from a day at work
>>a bright eyed 5 year old girl with thick glasses runs up to me as soon as I open the door
>>"Daddy's home!" she yells
>>I bend down and pick her up and swing her around into a big hug
>>"You're late," my wife says as she slings a bag over her shoulder
>>"Traffic was bad," I reply
>>"I love you, see you later," she says, kissing me as she walks out the door to work
>>"So, what do you want to do this afternoon?" I ask my daughter
>>"Let's go to the park!"
>>We walk a few blocks, hand in hand
>>It takes forever, since she stops to look at every bug, bird and flower
>>Once at the park, there are other kids
>>She's shy and clings to my leg
>>I kneel down to talk to her face to face
>>Convince her that these kids could be her friends, she just has to give them a chance
>>She goes off reluctantly, but soon I hear her laughter and see her smiling face
>My support, an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on and a friend to always be there.
>I don't really know.
>I am saddened by it but I'm still going to try.
1 hours later 7153054 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
24, male, been dating a girl for a year
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes. I want to give my life to the person I love. As soon as possible.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Two people sharing their life.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
For her to be faithful, loving, and somewhat traditional. I don't expect her to cook and clean while I'm at work and ride me while I'm at home.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
What?
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Married with a ton of money and a kid, preferably a daughter, and as little conflict as possible.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
I'm 6'5" and I make $50 an hour. I'm also fairly intelligent, and a nice guy if you don't piss me off.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
No.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
People are rushing into marriage, or are marrying people because they like them. It does not.
1 hours later 7153076 Anonymous
I'm not going to fill in all that shit but I'm young and married. Ask away, I guess.
That picture in the OP is exactly when I did it too, which made it pretty freaky when I first saw the pic
1 hours later 7153097 Anonymous
I figure I'd make a good husband but, apparently no women wants to date me.
I guess my idea of a good husband is starkly different from a women's.
>I'd want her to have a job/career.
>I'd want her to have intellectual pursuits.
>I'd let her have money of her own within reason
>I'd let her make decisions about the house/expenses within reason
>I'd take time to make time for her
>I'd cuddle her daily/show affection.
>I'd let her go out with friends or by herself if she wanted.
What I see happening.
>wants to be dominated
>Wants to to have no freedom
>Tolerates abuse.
>likes being a sperm napkin.
>Doesn't want a life of her own.
1 hours later 7153113 Anonymous (1367278891421.jpg 500x500 165kB)
>>7151936
>proposing after sex
1 hours later 7153114 Anonymous
>>7151936
>>Age, gender, and current relationship status
37, male, single
>>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
yes, but obviously it'll never happen
>>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
helping each other get through life, what else?
>>What do you expect from a spouse?
to be a decent person
>>Under what conditions would you get married?
see above
>>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
obviously not the shit i had
>>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
see above
>>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
no
>>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
shit sucks, yes.
1 hours later 7153127 Anonymous (1369233441345.jpg 1100x975 245kB)
>>7153076
Ahh that's adorable.
So, how long? How is it, best and worst parts?
And words of advice to someone before they get married?
1 hours later 7153134 Anonymous
>>7153113
It worked nicely, you probably had to be there.
1 hours later 7153159 Anonymous
>>7151936
>21, male, single
>Yes, soon I hope, so I still have my youth
>Love, commitment to one person and family
>A good mother to our children, with all that entails (loyalty, caring personality, etc.)
>Someone who I was sure I could and would spend the rest of my life with.
>Everything that I can while we were together, but when we have kids, they come first no matter what
>By most people's criteria, yea. I'd much rather settle for a 3/10 who would make a great mother than a 8/10 who's a bitch
>The success rate of marriages doesn't affect my conviction, just my belief in the plausibility of my ideals.
1 hours later 7153166 Anonymous
>>7153134
animes arent real
you can't 'be there'
1 hours later 7153167 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
18, female, single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
If marriage means to throw a party with fancy rings and such, no. If it means just live happy with my husbando, then yes?
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Again, to the question above. If it means the party thing, it means to concil your love to your beloved one with material things and to show your friends that you have status and money.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Love, trust, passion, good humor and for him to take care of himself. A-and to be clingy, too...
>Under what conditions would you get married?
The ones above, I guess? Eh, if he does not cheat on me.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Dunno.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
A loving wife that will make a big effort to make him feel happy and will be always by his side. Will be his friend and lover. And will learn to cook for him.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Maybe.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Feels like shit and kinda of.
1 hours later 7153171 Anonymous
>>7153127
Those balls are quite ... well, blue. That can't be too healthy.
1 hours later 7153177 Anonymous
>>7153097
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
25 Male, Single
>>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
If I ever find the right women which looks very doubtful and has for years and years.
>>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Uhh I conflict with its purpose. Sometimes its a played out tradition/others its a means to stabilize living.
>>What do you expect from a spouse?
Affection,reasonable things. sex, loyality.
>>Under what conditions would you get married?
She's loyal and been with me.
>>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Umm... Having a career. Or being dead.
>>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Loose leaf tea, culture, conversation, no abusive relationship, affection...
>>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Maybe if there's sex involved and I can trust her to live in my house. Maybe...
>>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Yeah, it does... Seems like most marriages around me are some kind of trick to legally rob a man of his status, and livelihood.
I am prepared to die alone.
Oh sure I'll date, flirt and fuck if the chance comes along but, after being cheated on and after all the horrors I['ve witnessed. I have made peace with the idea of no wife for my whole god damned life.
1 hours later 7153180 Anonymous (87ee5ed912ea7364a29a380be9b22285[1].jpg 500x500 34kB)
>>7153113
>Not proposing during sex
1 hours later 7153202 Anonymous
>>7153127
>So, how long?
Coming on 4 years now. We're both in our mid-twenties
>How is it, best and worst parts?
It's pretty much just our original relationship but now she has my name along with the other legal stuff that comes along with marriage. There haven't been any bad parts to it.
>And words of advice to someone before they get married?
Make sure you both know that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Talk about your future, basically, before you get into something as messy as marriage and divorce can be.
1 hours later 7153210 Anonymous
Strange, I thought /r9k/ would be against marriage for some reason.
Well I don't really want to get married. I mean, I don't need a piece a paper or a document to tell me I love someone. And what if that marriage doesn't work out? Imagine the shitstorm the divorce will be.
1 hours later 7153213 Anonymous (tfw anime isn't real.png 774x313 83kB)
>>7153166
we all wish it was
1 hours later 7153218 Anonymous
>>7153166
They're real in my mind.
1 hours later 7153229 Anonymous
>>7153210
>I don't need a piece a paper or a document to tell me I love someone
>implying that's what marriage is for
1 hours later 7153258 Anonymous
>>7153229
Yeah, I know. It's to spend your life together, blah, blah, blah. But I could still do that without marriage
1 hours later 7153264 Anonymous
>20, male, single
>I want nothing more out of life to get married and get kids. I would marry tomorrow if I found the right woman to do it with. I dont know why, I fucking love the idea of spending my life with a fantastic woman for the rest of my life
>The purpose is to spend our life together. To actually define it with a legal document means we have no second thoughts about it, we know that we want to be together, forever.
>I expect love and support. I expect her to pick me up when I'm down. Also that we have fun together
>I dont care what kind of conditions.
>Ideal life at 36(without crazy money schemes I presume): two kids, two boys or a boy and a girl(girl is younger), married, have own law firm. Still hang out with my friends I currently have. Still go partying fairly often.
>She would get endless consideration, love and protection from me. Sadly I cant offer much else right now.
>I dont see myself settling, honestly.
>I think the success rates are fairly good. It's around 35% here in The Netherlands, which means that 2 in 3 marriages are alright.
1 hours later 7153276 Anonymous
>>7153258
No, it's about stuff like family unions (old as fuck reason), tax incentives, stuff to do with children, next of kin laws, etc.
1 hours later 7153278 Anonymous
>>7153210
The document and legal shit is dumb as fuck, but the idea of marriage, the love, that's the important thing. You also don't need a document for that.
1 hours later 7153285 Anonymous
>>7153210
Most of us aren't opposed to getting married, we're just afraid of getting a divorce and getting raped by the courts.
1 hours later 7153295 Anonymous (le negro face.jpg 248x240 14kB)
>>7153285
100% of divorces begin with marriage.
1 hours later 7153319 Anonymous
>>7153295
And your point is? Not all marriages end in divorce, I'm just not willing to take such a gamble on 50/50 odds.
1 hours later 7153325 Anonymous
>>7153210
That's the point, atleast for me, if I marry I'm saying 'this will never go wrong'.
Also I think if you're married you're inclined to try and make it work instead of just walking away whenever.
1 hours later 7153347 Anonymous (Pilkonton-cantbedoin.png 700x700 105kB)
>>7153319
>not getting the obviously painful joke in that post
1 hours later 7153352 Anonymous
This is pretty much tl;dr
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
21, male, engaged
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes. Because I love her more than absolutely anything and she's my best friend. We have three months to go.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
To reflect God's perfect design.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
I mean I obviously expect the obvious from her just as she does from me, but love and ultimately marriage isn't about expecting things from each other. Love is an action more so than a feeling. It's a constant action.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
Well we're Christians and are in love and don't want to be tempted to push it and sin and we both wholeheartedly believe that this is God's plan for our lives. Everything has literally fallen perfectly into place and was perfectly orchestrated.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Still married and still having a sex life and hopefully no more than two kids. We're hoping to wait two to three years before trying for kids.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
I don't know what she gets from me. I don't feel like I have anything worthwhile to offer her.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
I waited 21 years and counting for sex, long before I was a Christian. If I simply wanted sex I would have had it by now. I've wanted to give in and just do it a million times but I'm too much of a stupid idealist and I kept waiting for the right girl, and now I've found her.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Some marriages fail. There has always been failing marriages. If I wasn't sure about her I never would have proposed to her. We talked A LOT about it and only went through with actually doing it when we were both completely sure about it.
>inb4 /r/atheism and "you're too young" and all that.
1 hours later 7153377 Anonymous
>>7153352
>To reflect God's perfect design.
What that ugly-ass face?
1 hours later 7153387 Anonymous
>>7153352
Have you ever felt euphoric?
1 hours later 7153414 Anonymous
>>7153352
>I love her more than anything
>To reflect God's perfect design
You're supposed to love God more than anything, including your spouse, heathen.
1 hours later 7153416 Anonymous (Img-05.jpg 1224x1224 240kB)
Well, I am married and it's pretty rad.
I'm younger than her and people sometimes mistake us for mother and son which is odd because she certainly doesn't look old enough to be my mother. I dunno.
1 hours later 7153421 Anonymous
>>7153325
That's why I'd advise ANYONE who is thinking about getting married to think deeply about it and talk to their god damn bf/gf because marriage is not a simple thing to get out of.
Now as for me, I have known my wife since we were both 12. I had almost a decade of getting to know her to understand her actions, what makes her think, predicting what she will do, before I proposed. She can do this with me too. I am as close as someone can be to absolute certainty that she will not cheat or do anything detrimental to the relationship. That peace of mind is very calming but it takes time to forge.
1 hours later 7153422 Anonymous
>>7153319
>I'm just not willing to take such a gamble on 50/50 odds.
The divorce rate of college-educated women and women without high school diplomas is 15%.
1 hours later 7153453 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
18, male, single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes; Because I want to love and be loved; sometime in the next 10-15 years hopefully. Whenever it feels really right.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
There isn't much point to it beyond a stronger bond if things happen to get bad. It's an awfully nice gesture though.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
That I can have fun with her, and we can just be bros sometimes. Also being responsible would be neat too.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
When read: if I get the inkling for it. I figure it's one of those things that you just know. I would wait for some semblance of financial stability though.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Living in a largeish city somewhere, maybe a kid or something.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
I'm funny and attractive. I will probs have a stable career at that point.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Negative
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Mostly caused by a lack of respect and reverence for the institution. People too often marry for convenience and that really is not how it should work. It doesn't effect me, I feel as though I would marry for the right reasons.
P.S. good job OP, this actually made me think about my life and what I want out of it.
2 hours later 7153469 Anonymous
>>7151936
>>Age, gender, and current relationship status
23, male, single
>>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
No, because modern marriages are a financial death trap for men.
>>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Ideally it's supposed to be a lifelong bond of exclusivity, the highest expression of love. In reality, it's a financial scam intended to make women's easymode even easier.
>>What do you expect from a spouse?
Unconditional love.
>>Under what conditions would you get married?
If my spouse to be would earn significantly more than me. That way I'd have a guarantee that money plays no role.
>>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Ideally assuming the perfect situation, I'd be happily married by then. A more realistic ideal situation would be that I'm happily single by then.
>>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Besides practically owning half my shit, perhaps more if she cries hard enough in court?
>>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
No. My standards are pretty low, if a woman can't live up to those then she's truly filth.
>>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
It sure fucking does. They're getting very close to 50% and as I've said before divorce courts heavily favor women. For a man, getting married under the current rules and circumstances is like playing Russian Roulette with five chambered bullets: some of us will get away unscathed, but not the majority.
2 hours later 7153485 Anonymous
>>7153421
We dont all have that kind of time, though. But I have great interpersonal understanding. I can see who will probably cheat on me sooner or later and who wont.
Sadly my feelings will not change if I know someone is bad news, though.
2 hours later 7153492 Anonymous
>>7153387
No. I'm pretty much Squidward on a bad day every day of my life.
No I don't know about euphoric but I've been incredibly happy before, yeah.
>>7153414
It's a figure of speech, but yeah I have put her before God before. I struggle with that.
2 hours later 7153494 Anonymous
>19, Male, Single
>No, I don't want to. There's no place for it now or later.
>The purpose of marriage is a symbolic form of two people in love and merged.
>I expect nothing.
>I wouldn't want to, if I had to, it'd be at the protection of my own life or someone else.
>The years I invested in paying off and I'm able to proudly look back on my life and say that I built something significant for the world.
>I wouldn't know, love?
>No.
>I wouldn't really care. Our country has that issue due to problems of people not coming together too correctly. Love isn't that common, mates.
2 hours later 7153499 Snowman
>>7151936
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
20, male, single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes, hopefully after I get a graduate degree and start a stable job, currently on track for ~5 years from now.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
It is a socially and lawfully binding act that shows your unconditional love for your spouse. The purpose of marriage is create a safe and stable environment for the raising of children.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
I do not honestly know. The only one I do know is obvious and that is that I want to be loved.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
As soon as I have an advanced degree and a stable job I will be completely willing to get married.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
I would like to be well into my career, have 1-2 children that are around 8-10 years old, have a nice house in the countryside with a beautiful flower garden, and still be completely in love with my wife.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Honestly, all she would get is a kind caring man with a good job. Oh, and I am relatively wealthy.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
There is no way in hell I will acquire my ideal, that said I won't consider it settling if I love her. She would honestly have to be either fat or have a terrible personality for me to consider it settling.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
It makes me sad, for the children of divorced parents that is. If you are going to get divorced you shouldn't have had children in the first place.
2 hours later 7153512 Anonymous
>>7153453
>lack of respect
This, so much. I feel modern society and feminism have left this by the wayside. If a girl doesn't respect me, the relationship is over. It's a rare trait these days. It's sad ;_;
2 hours later 7153522 Anonymous (1368236290424.gif 500x376 1001kB)
>>7151936
>24, female, with the same person for 7 going on 8 years.
>Yes. I want to take on his name I can do what most of my family members do and just legally change my name but it seems half ass'd
>Marriage is forever, I'm saying I want this person forever
>I expect the same thing that is happening now. If anyone thinks marriage is suppose to change a person they are wrong.
>We live close to a city but still in the country. We will have a max of 2 to 3 kids
> At 36 we both work and raise our kids better than I was raised
>I show a different opinion we are each others best friend.
> Nope
>I feel bad for them people jump into marriage so quick and thinking that helps failing relationships. It doesn't affect my answers.
2 hours later 7153528 Anonymous
>>7153485
Sure most people don't have that much time to do it and you don't need it. I just wanted to show that I had a long time to understand her thought process.
2 hours later 7153538 Anonymous (1365469325131.jpg 1000x680 630kB)
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
25, male, single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
no, seems pointless. i don't see a difference between living together for life and marriage. i would do it if the girl wants to though. (it really doesn't make a difference to me)
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
see above
>What do you expect from a spouse?
nothing i wouldn't expect from a girlfriend or myself . (a general level of health, diet, hygiene, housework, career)
>Under what conditions would you get married?
if the girl wants to and a five year relationship where 90% of it was smooth sailing
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
working for Double Negative in London as a TD working on becoming a lead artist. living in a small apartment or house within 5 miles of the city center, waking up and making me and my girl some coffee before we both head off to work.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
my life insurance and it would make mortgages ect easier
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
probably. but the only thing i NEED from someone is a creative career (id count something like teaching as creative) and drive to achieve their goals. the rest (glasses, petite, red head) are just preferences and hair color or glasses are not that important to me
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
it doesn't affect my answers. i don't feel anything about it.
2 hours later 7153570 Anonymous
>33, male, married (10 years)
>I did at 24 after 5 years of dating. It was pretty awesome.
>Purpose? I suppose to share my life with another person. I wouldn't say my life would be empty without her, but she adds another part to it that I didn't really know was possible before I met her...
>Expect...fuck oh hell that's a loaded question:
-Well what I wanted was more a 50/50 division of things. I strive for that, but it usually doesn't go my way. (She does bring in more money than me, and is currently preggers so I have to cut her some slack.)
>Conditions make it sound like you are planning a vacation. I mean if your relationship isn't strong and you're fighting then don't get married. For me it was really just becoming comfortable with the idea of marriage.
>Ideal....(hold on I gotta wait for my sides to come down from orbit...)
-Ideal I'd win the lottery, build a new house, have another kid, and be set for life.
-In the real world...I'll be working a shit job, probably have another kid on the way, and maybe be in a different house.
>I'm god damn awesome that's what. Well, everyone would say I'm beta maxed out, but really it's just my personality.
-I cook, clean, and do all the guy shit outside.
-I'm rebuilding this old house, but it's taking forever.
-I love giving oral and always aim to please.
>This is where I suppose I differ from a lot of guys on /r9k/. I did settle. I knew I would. Because I know there isn't that 100% ideal person for me out there. Well maybe, but I'm not spending all my life looking for her. Not when I can have 95% ideal and just glaze over that other 5%. Besides once you've been married for a decade what grates on your ever living nerves isn't the things that irritated you in the beginning.
>Don't even get me started on this. I look at marriage as a life long thing. I'm doing it once and that's it and by god I'll do everything in my power to stay married (assuming she doesn't cheat or what not).
2 hours later 7153593 Anonymous
>relationship status
married
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
am married, at 19
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
taxes! fucking taxes man....
>What do you expect from a spouse? I dont "expect" anything from my wife, we are a cohesive pair and we work together
>Under what conditions would you get married? We got married for tax breaks and for army benefits, ot was a tad rushed but we were fine with it
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36? No army, on some land, horses, and hopefully a fucking hobbit house. Thad be the shit
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you? eh, she never has a boring day
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future? Nah i got a pretty awesome gal. We actually posted on a "acute triangle" thread where I posted her fphone number like a mooran
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages?
most people get married for stupid reasons and arent mature enough for it
Does this affect your other answers?
wat
2 hours later 7153595 Snowman
>>7153167
Clingy tripfag here. I'm surprised I'm the first one to respond to this post. This is me:
>>7153499
2 hours later 7153598 Anonymous
very specific life plan for 11 years in the future.
kudos for knowing what you want in life anon.
2 hours later 7153613 Anonymous
excuse my fail, >>7153598
was responding to >>7153538
2 hours later 7153622 Anonymous
> 18, f, dating a dude tentatively
> No. I don't want to get married. I don't know if I ever will want to, but it just seems like a trap.
>Marriage is to legally concrete a family, but I don't think it's a necessity, especially if you're not planning on having kids.
>I'd expect spouses to be there for each other.
>???
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?:
dead. I don't want to be 36.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?:
None, nothing. It's not worth it except the perk that I would never ever cheat on that person.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Probably.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?:
Marriages fail because people are just shitty. Fuck it though. I'd do it if I wanted, even if nobody married anyone anymore.
2 hours later 7153626 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
21, F, LDR
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes, my boyfriend is the love of my life and I want to spend my life with him. Maybe 4 years.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Lifetime of commitment, loyalty, love, respect, and affection.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Someone to love me and do things with me like learn to cook new things, visit museums, aquariums, all that shit.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
Under the conditions, we both have jobs and can support ourselves and will be faithful to each other forever.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
2 kids, a nice little house, happy family
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
A loyal, loving wife who'll always be there for him and all the kind of sex he wants
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
I'm already with someone who I think is perfect in every possible way, so I don't think I'm settling.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
I think if couples can stay faithful to each other and learn to resolve their issues, they can last.
I come from a family of non-divorced parents and I intend on my family being the same way.
2 hours later 7153642 Anonymous
>>7153570
You sound like a cool guy and a good husband. Care to elaborate on
>once you've been married for a decade what grates on your ever living nerves isn't the things that irritated you in the beginning.
Also, would you answer >>7153127
2 hours later 7153648 Anonymous
>know boyfriend is going to propose
>very emotional person
>cry just imagining it
>don't want to cry when he does
oh well... think it's expected of me to cry anyway
2 hours later 7153657 Anonymous
>>7153613
thanks, the only thing left to random in my plan should be the girl. otherwise ill just wake up and make myself coffee
2 hours later 7153660 Anonymous
>>7153598
>>7153613
Not the guy there, but there's sometimes no room for a marriage in a person's life.
Sometimes, there's people who would rather serve the rest of the world than to serve just one.
>>7153626
>Perfect
>LDR
Spend some time living with him. I'm not doubting the guy, but you're not entirely sure until you live with a person.
2 hours later 7153698 Anonymous
>>7153660
Well we're planning on moving together before getting married to see how we'd fare, but we're both pretty confident that we'll be fine.
2 hours later 7153706 Anonymous
>>7153698
Well, that's good.
I wish the best of luck to you.
2 hours later 7153721 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
24, female, in the relationship of 7 years
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
I waffle on marriage, a part of me really wants to but then, at the same time, why mess with a good thing? I don't really have a timeline.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Spending the rest of your life with someone, working through the bad times and enjoying the good times.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
I've never really thought about it, honestly, just someone who will stand by me and love me.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
I guess that I'd just want to have my own finances squared away before I commit to my boyfriend. I don't want my debt to be his burdened.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Maybe married, regardless still with my boyfriend, a nice house in a better city with a good job.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
I'm not the greatest cook, but I can keep a clean house.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
My ideal is my current boyfriend so I hope that I won't have to settle for someone else.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Yeah, definitely that's probably why I don't push the issue or obsess over it.
2 hours later 7153737 Anonymous
>>7153642
Sure why not.
In the beginning you always compare her to your ideal, or whatever you think is your ideal person. So you pickup on the things you think you don't like, in the same way you notice her mannerisms and find most of the cute or quirky. After a decade you still find those cute things more or less cute, but now you've probably stopped comparing her to some ideal girl and are comparing her to real life.
As in I'm 33....this isn't college....I HAVE to got to work, pay bills, make food, clean the house, ect.. So now the focus has evolved more to what have I don't today vs. what has she done today. I know that sounds cold, but it's more of a mental thing. I'm not keeping score exactly, but my wife isn't exactly very autonomous. (She has sibling, where as I'm an only child.)
Okay an example - dinner time.
Mother fucking dinner.
It's always a long and drawn out thing.
ALWAYS.
What do you want to eat..."I don't know." or "I don't care." And then you name somewhere and it's all I don't want that. FUCKING HELL. Just pick a god damn place woman. Shit like that irritates me.
I'll make another post on the best/worst/advice.
2 hours later 7153744 Anonymous (Grapes.png 451x498 17kB)
>That feel when can't get married to the person you love
2 hours later 7153745 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
18/m/in a relationship
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes, when I'm 30 or so. If I pursue a PhD, after that, specifically.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Companionship, love, contentment, children.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Beyond typical stuff (loyalty and the whole nine yards), I'd like it if they would remain in shape even after getting married.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
If, when I think about her, I see no profound flaw.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Ph.D, teaching in a LAC or university. Small house, a kid or two. Come home to a lovely wife, a good book or a good movie (or anime; I mean, this is 4chan), play some guitar, sleep.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
An understanding, devoted, gentle person with a big heart. (that sounds full homo but it describes how I am in relationships to a great degree)
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
No; I get bored in relationships easy and often want out. Breaking up with a woman is torturous, though, because I hate being the bad guy when the feelings just aren't there. I'd never be in it for the long haul with someone I could forsee myself growing bored of.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Modern marriages fail because people are scumbags. I don't think I'm a scumbag, and I don't think I'd attract a scumbag.
2 hours later 7153758 Anonymous
>>7153744
>the person you love
Just ask him/her, Anon! You don't know until you try. Just be yourself.
2 hours later 7153761 Anonymous
>>7153744
;_; I know that feel, anon. I know it.
2 hours later 7153786 Anonymous
>>7153706
Thanks!
You too though. :)
2 hours later 7153791 Anonymous
>>7153758
What if he lives in Uganda and wants to eat da poopoo?
2 hours later 7153801 Anonymous
>>7153791
Then you are DISGUSTING. GET OUT.
2 hours later 7153820 Anonymous
>>7153499
I am the fenamon you replied to. Your ideal life seems to stable and I don't want kids at all. Sorry about that. The garden part is pleasant, though, since I like plants.
2 hours later 7153826 Anonymous
>>7153801
you're HURTING ME, CHARLES
2 hours later 7153828 Anonymous
>>7153820
too* stable. Damn.
2 hours later 7153840 Anonymous
>>7153737
Alright the best/worst:
God, this is impossible to explain. She's my everything. I know that sounds cheesy as hell, but it really feels like that. There is a lot of difference between dating, LTR, and being married...and then for a decade. In the beginning everything was raw and on the surface, the happiness, joy, pain, ect. As we moved forward the love solidified and matured. Now I can easily say I love this woman more now than ever, and at the same time there are days I hate the living shit out of her (but I still love her).
It's great have your best friend around, hanging out, making her happy, these are all good things. The stress of life and work, and money/bills/ect.. those all conspire to make cracks in the marriage. I mean if all we had to do was hang out at the beach all day every day well hell that'd be an easy marriage.
Advice:
Communication.
Seriously. You have to be able to tell this person anything, and do so knowing there might be consequences. You have to be able to suffer through shitty emotional conversations (ones where you'd rather eat broken glass) knowing it's for the long term good of the relationship. Ignoring problems only makes them fester and ever harder to deal with once they do surface.
2 hours later 7153845 Anonymous (illustration-5.jpg 554x799 29kB)
>>7151936
>20, female, living with my bf of 2 years
>Yes, honestly I never really thought about getting married until I met him, I'm just in love with him and want to spend my life with him, sometime in the next 5 years
>Just spending your life, completely committed to the person you love
>Just to stick with you through thick and then, to stand by your side even if things get really difficult in your life, to love only you and stay faithful to you
>We have our own place to live and are financially stable, I want to have a nice wedding so we'd have to have a good money situation
>Owning a house with by bf (hopefully married), have good jobs, no children, have a comfortable lifestyle, and be able to go on trips and vacations
>I don't know really, just being with me, he says he wants to be my husband and take care of me, so he'd be able to do that, even though I still want to work
>I can't see myself settling, right now I can't imagine being with anyone else but him, and he's wonderful
>I'm a little saddened at the current state, but it doesn't affect my answers
>
2 hours later 7153849 Snowman
>>7153820
Oh, ok... I'm glad that you took the time to respond though. Thank you.
2 hours later 7153852 Anonymous (tumblr_mdr50tSOAj1qaobbko1_500.jpg 500x707 25kB)
>>7151936
>22, female, recently single.
>Yes. It would be nice to settle, parents have a great marriage so that serves as motivation, would suck to be alone. Hopefully late 20s (though Im not rushing)
>Loyalty, love, open mindedness and definitely commitment.
>Loyalty, trust and empathy, great marriage and kid(s). c:
>When I KNOW that the guy is right for me.
>Ideal life? Finally settled, have kids, good if not great career, viewed as a role model by my kids and others.
>Having someone who loves you is already a benefit. Ima love the eff outta you.
>Expect the unexpected.
>Marriages fall apart but not all of them. Its a risk to take. We tread carefully.
(Sorry for grammar mistakes, if there are any. idontspeakenglish)
2 hours later 7153854 Anonymous
>>7151936
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
23,M, Single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes, within 10
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
A legal promise to be/stay together.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
A loving and trusting partner.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
Financially secure, legitimate affection for one another
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Living in first home with one kid (possibly trying for another)
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Can't answer that.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
No.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
It is slightly depressing knowing statistically the success of our marriage will be a toss up.
However, it did not affect any of my answers.
2 hours later 7153855 Anonymous (1369858098077.jpg 500x527 64kB)
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
19, m, LDR
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
I don't see it as something necessary, but if this relationship works, I will get married, in a couple years most likely.
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
It has quite a few social benefits. In my case, it'll allow me or my wife to get another citizenship and live together.
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Loyalty, patience, will to make our relationship work.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
see above
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
I have a good paying job and a bit of free time, a caring wife and a lot of dogs.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
My cooking skills, and a best friend-
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Yes. That's what I'll end up doing.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
It doesn't affect me at all. Marriages only fail because people aren't forced to stay together like it happened before. I don't care honestly.
2 hours later 7153911 Anonymous
>>7151936
I am a 24 yo male forever alone kissless virgin
I want to get married now. Because I want to fuck and spend the rest of my life with the first qt I fuck
The purpose of marriage is sex and starting a new household
I want a spouse who submits to my every demand.
I will marry on the condition that the girl is a qt, and I live in a society that forces women to submit to men
At 36, I would love to have a sugarcane plantation, with slaves working on them. My wife is also my slave, who is forced to marry me. She is a real qt.
My spouse would benefit because she has a master that loves her.
I will not settle for an ugly or fattie.
The failure rates of modern marriage are a result of liberalism and democracy. They are not an issue in civilized societies, such as the middle east
2 hours later 7153930 Anonymous
>>7153416
oh that sucks
what is the age difference if you don't mind me asking
2 hours later 7153952 Anonymous
>>7151936
To get married I need to get into a relationship. I haven't been able to do that.
2 hours later 7153953 Anonymous
>>7153840
Thanks for the well thought out answers.
> there are days I hate the living shit out of her (but I still love her)
may I ask what makes you hate her in these times?
2 hours later 7153993 Anonymous
>>7151936
>25, female, married after 6 year relationship
>When I was younger, I wanted to get married. Not long before the proposal I started to believe that marriage is unnecessary if partners are confident about their relationship.
>Legal issues like loans, wills and easier life for our future kids, if any. Also, it's good to know that someone might be fine with the idea of spending his life with me.
>He's more than I could have ever hoped for.
>Our marriage was more like an arrangement (don't worry, we are both white native Northen Europeans).
>A car, a house, a dog, million dollars a month - you know, the usual.
>It's the same as in times when we were simply together. However, now the feeling is a bit different. I think he's somewhat proud about me being his wife.
>No
>It's just the natural way the things go nowadays
2 hours later 7154004 Anonymous
>>7153786
Nah, I'm one of the non-marriage ones.
2 hours later 7154027 Anonymous
>7151936
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
20, Male, recently single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Almost have been twice by now. I fall in love easily I guess, just want a girl to call mine forever. Preferably married around 25, kids around the same time
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
To become a union that is higher than the regular relationship. A unity financially, physically and emotionally. No homo
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Loyalty first and foremost. Burden sharing and of course kids.
>Under what conditions would you get married?
Have to be with her at least a year and things have to go absolutely swimmingly. If we click, we'll know. If we won't well, too bad.
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Move from teller as of current to investment banker, 2 kids, settled and happily married in a city suburb.
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Loyalty, dosh and stability.
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
Hopefully not, but you never see yourself with the one you're with. If she works out, it'll be the knees.
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
Makes me feel like shit, but these days people get married for the wrong reason and many more people are more open to cheat or slut around. Culture is to blame, not marriage itself.
2 hours later 7154045 Anonymous
>>7154004
Why is that if I may ask?
2 hours later 7154069 Anonymous
>>7153930
Oh, 8 years.
I'm 22 and she is 30 but like I said she doesn't look very old, I think it's more me looking all baby faced when I shave.
She calls me bub sometimes, I'm sure that doesn't help.
3 hours later 7154159 Anonymous (mistborn-vin-christian-mcgrath-art.jpg 525x788 144kB)
>>7151936
>>Age, gender, and current relationship status
21/male/canadia/mega virgin
>>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes; I just want a close relationship with someone, someone to come home to you and look forward to seeing, someone to impregnate and raise a family with, someone to grow old with; Would want to marry before 24.
>>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
Love, Procreation, Secure base, Someone to give meaning in life.
>>What do you expect from a spouse?
Fertile, Honest, Intelligent, Loyal, less than or equal to two previous sexual partners, Vidya lover, Short haired, Small breasts and ass, Not fat.
>>Under what conditions would you get married?
She wants to marry me?
>>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
Married, 2 to 4 children (all girls or all boys), house, stable jobs (x2), strong loving relationship.
>>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Loyalty, dunno what else.
>>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
I hope I won't, but I probably will end up settling and becoming some 30+ year old slut's beta male provider and cuckold.
>>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages? Does this affect your other answers?
I feel that most modern marriages fail because western society as a whole has degenerated. The abundance of promiscuity, nigger culture, and Jew dominance to name a few of the causes of the degeneration of society.
Feels bad now.
3 hours later 7154259 Anonymous
>21, Male, been together with current gf for 5 years. First relation.
>Yes. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way. Preferably after college
>Benefits and symbolism I suppose
>Love, care, understanding and support and will be my friend as well as my lover.
>When I simply cannot imagine life without her.
>Married, working a decent paying job that makes me happy and taking care of a child.
>I do all of the cooking and most of the cleaning in the house, and do various little things(running to the store at 1 in the morning, being genuinely understanding of her crazy, etc). Will probably have the more stable career as well
>No.
>It sucks, but I feel there are reasons for this that I'm being careful to avoid
3 hours later 7154802 Anonymous
>>7154069
My best friend is married to my sister in law...
One of her pet names for him:
>uncle daddy
4 hours later 7155154 Anonymous
>Female, 25, married
>I got married August 25, 2007
>My husbanded suggested we get married so I could be on his insurance
>Love, a best friend, someone to take care of me when I sick, someone to share a bed with at night
>I was in love and did not object to being in a legally binding contract with my husband
>We have a house with a garden, I'm working as a translator, no more than two children, if any at all
>Nothing he didn't get before marrying me. I'm working hard so I can at least attempt to pull my own weight financially. Or at least pretend.
>I fell in love with my husband within two weeks of meeting him (we met August 2005). I never considered myself as "settling" for him. He's perfect for me in every way.
>I think it's sad that people often get married for the wrong reasons, or are misguided about what marriage means. Many seem to think that getting knocked up or having a faltering relationship means having to get married to "fix" things. I don't let others' relationships affect my own, there's no reason for that. Our marriage is ours.
4 hours later 7155174 Anonymous
>>7154045
Read: >>7153494
Basically, I want to live to build something that's bigger than me. The idea of committing to that huge of something just seems so great.
4 hours later 7155318 Anonymous
>Age, gender, and current relationship status
19 f single
>Do you want to get married? Why? And if so, when?
Yes. I want to start a family. I love my family and have had a wonderful upbringing and I want the same for my children in the future. I want marriage between ages 20 and 34 and kids at around 29-35 (I can enjoy married life before kids)
>What's the purpose of marriage to you?
A life partner who you can share your destiny with
Your other path
It's not even romance it's just being partners and lovers
>What do you expect from a spouse?
Love, support, and stability
Ill provide the same
>Under what conditions would you get married?
The guy has to have a degree of financial stability.
Also, I want to work, but when I have kids he has to be ok with he possibility of me staying at home or working only part time
>What does your ideal life look like, at age 36?
2 kids, work two days a week as an instructor in my chosen field, and being a good role model for my kids by taking them to volunteer and stuff and teaching them to pursue and excel in their passions
Also being a good wife and cooking and cleaning and making my kids spend time with my husband
>What benefit would/does your spouse get from being married to you?
Ill be a good mom for one
Ill cook and clean
I'm loving loyal and supportive
Ill put your career before mine and sacrifice to go wherever you go
Also i will be gentle
the man will the head of the house
>Do you see yourself "settling" for someone that's not your ideal and getting married in the future?
I don't have an ideal but I won't settle for someone who I don't trust that I could have a happy family with
I won't settle; marriage and a family are too important
>How do you feel about the success rate of modern marriages?
My parents have been married for 25 years and my dad is the head of the house and works and my mom stayed at home
My dad also is not an idiot with money, he spends only on things we need.
I see divorce as wrong
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