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2013-05-09 10:42 6844952 Mr.Hillyer (12237783673738.jpg 600x450 55kB)
You have been given a time machine and may use it to go back to any moment in the history of time. Please tell me what time and place you choose and why. Be careful in choosing though, for you may not be able to come back.

4 min later 6844986 Anonymous
my fifth birthday...

6 min later 6845003 Anonymous
I'd go back to the 19th Century, and meet Nikola Tesla at his prime. I'd show him the time machine, and we'd work out how it works and use what we discover to benefit humanity. I'm sure he'd be pleased to know that we use three-phase alternating current to power our cities.

7 min later 6845014 Anonymous
2008 when I came back to the states. I would try to buckle down in school and go to a college closer to home.

16 min later 6845126 Anonymous
I'd go back t about 1945, New York so I could hang out with Ginsberg, Kerouac and Cassady. I couldn't imagine what it was like to dig America with those guys, chilling with Burroughs in the south, dancing to wild jazz in San Francisco and driving through Mexico.

18 min later 6845146 Anonymous
i would go back to the year 1900 and kill hitler

22 min later 6845186 Anonymous
>>6845146 Way to waste a time machine, bro.

23 min later 6845200 Anonymous
I would travel to the birth of Adam Weishaupt, and I would strangle him in the crib.

24 min later 6845212 Anonymous
>>6845200 lol dumbass he was just one small player

1 hours later 6845715 Mr.Hillyer
>>6844986 That is a lovely sentiment. Would you interact with your 5 year old self, or just watch from afar? >>6845003 Wonderful use of the time machine, sir. I applaud your choice. >>6845014 Would you directly steer your past self to make different decisions? I think it might be quite fun to leave hidden clues and tips for your past self to stumble upon. >>6845126 Another lovely idea. One downside could be that you may never want to leave. >>6845146 I have also had this idea cross my mind. On one hand, you could be creating some major changes in history which would greatly affect our world today. On the other hand, don't you think if Hitler was killed there may just be another dictator who may do what he did? You'd be killing a man but, you wouldn't be killing his ideals. >>6845200 To you I say almost the same thing. I do agree with >>6845212 These people may have been the face of their organizations but, don't you think their legacy would live on?

1 hours later 6845753 Anonymous
Before using my time machine I would finish my degree in computer science so I could later go back to the 80s with that knowledge and become a millionaire out of my 'innovative ideas'. Afterwards I would use all of my jew gold to follow my favourite rock/metal bands while they are on tour and find a metalhead waifu.

1 hours later 6845787 Anonymous
Go to 1830 London and find the perfect qt3.14 to marry, make five children and teach each one everything that I know about one subject. The anon brothers will accelerate history and rule the world with science and reason.

1 hours later 6845807 Anonymous
>>6845753 Imagine being able to follow Death from the very beginning. Glorious times I tell ya.

1 hours later 6845832 Anonymous (le hiding merchant.jpg 343x400 5kB)
>>6845146 >i would go back to the year 1900 and kill hitIer

1 hours later 6845838 Anonymous
I go back to the moment I acquired the time machine and destroy it

1 hours later 6845852 Anonymous (druids.jpg 247x248 8kB)
>>6845838 >Snake you created a time Paradox!

1 hours later 6845860 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6844952 I'd go back to the second world war and give schematics for super weapons to the americans. Then I'd convince the Japanese not to fight agains the americans and make then work out a deal with the americans to fight the chinese for them.

1 hours later 6845861 Anonymous
I'd buy one of Hitler's paintings and tell him he's a good artist and should pursue a career in it.

1 hours later 6845882 Anonymous
>Not going back in time just before Google is founded You guys.. Please try harder. I would tell my dad to seek out Larry and Sergey and make them let my dad invest 100% in Google. God damn, I would be so fucking rich right now. Just for shits and giggles I would buy 4chan and shut it down.

1 hours later 6846042 Mr.Hillyer
>>6845753 >>6845882 I think the majority of us might use the time machine with more selfish motives such as yours. I'd consider it. >>6845787 You know anon, you could try and achieve this present day. You don't necessarily need a time machine to do all of that. >>6845838 Elaborate on your reasoning. >>6845860 While I see your intentions, I still have to wonder how reliable of a source you'd be and how good your negotiating skills are. >>6845861 I like this thought. Do you think one simple act of kindness like that would change his whole future, though?

1 hours later 6846107 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6846042 I'd be fucking awful, the worst. I'd need to round up a group of people, earn money and begin a legacy before the war. I'll need to use the machine several times but this would be my general over all plan. See what happens after that.

1 hours later 6846147 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846107 Do you think your efforts would be worth it?

1 hours later 6846213 Anonymous
i'd go back as far as possible

1 hours later 6846246 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6846147 Who knows, but it would make the cold war a whole lot different. No strong china, no Bamboo Curtain. It could be worse, it could be better. It could also be a three pronged war, Japan vs US, US vs Russia. Either way, I'd probabaly be old as fuck and dying when it heats up. But fuck going with death with the knowledge you helped create a new world is exciting.

2 hours later 6846315 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846213 I had to take a step back and think about this one for a few moments. Before I draw my own conclusions, I'd appreciate knowing your reasoning for doing so. >>6846246 >But fuck going with death with the knowledge you helped create a new world is exciting. I agree very much so. Although I'd be very tempted to use my time machine for selfish reasons, I think I'd end up using it to slightly alter history just as you've said. Dying with that knowledge would be incredible, whether you fucked up history completely or made the future even brighter.

2 hours later 6846376 Anonymous
>>6846315 to see the truth of creation

2 hours later 6846394 Anonymous
>>6846376 That's even more paradoxical than the premise of OP's hypothetical situation.

2 hours later 6846432 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6846315 I'd either be a hero or a monster, either way there would be one korea, a divided philippines and a chinese republic, or a puppet chinese republic. But imagine what comes after all of those fall. A new asia, strengthened by years of opression and anger. Or the US, with its super science, no more debates about religion or science, because science has proven itself. Earlier space programs, moon colonies, laser weapons in the sky. What a beauitful awful world! Or I'd just go back in time and catch the fuck out of dinosaurs and sell them to the highest bidders. Eggs, t-rexes, fuck I'd be the PT Barnum or Bill Gates of dinosaurs.

2 hours later 6846493 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846376 Oh no, there are so many what if's coming to mind. The most prominent being: What if you were to get stuck in the void and can not return? Would you still want to go back that far? >>6846394 Indeed, my mind is reeling. >>6846432 >What a beautiful awful world! I couldn't have said it better myself. The possibilities of using time travel to alter history are overwhelming. Question: What if you were stuck in prehistoric times? Would you still choose to go there? Keep this in mind, in my hypothetical situation our beloved time machine may have a few kinks to be worked out.

2 hours later 6846522 Anonymous
>>6846376 >anon's face when the time machine being there at the start of creation kicks off the big bang and creates the universe

2 hours later 6846574 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846522 W-Wha.. I like the way you think, anon.

2 hours later 6846576 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6846493 Damn, eat a dinosaur or something. Maybe tame some? Not too sure, but either way I'd be fucked then. Would there be a way to create some kind of time tether?

2 hours later 6846654 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846576 Huh. I wonder how difficult it would be to domesticate a dinosaur. Alas, now I am tangentalizing. The time tether thing is a very interesting thought. I don't think it would be possible though, unless you have an idea of how to make it work. In this situation, the time machine is like a vehicle and its road is the timeline. To create some sort of anchor to go back to...may be possible.

2 hours later 6846689 Governor Cimmerian, Esq IIII
>>6846654 Wait, are you Doc Brown? Also I would imagine its like domesticating or taming some kind of falcon.

2 hours later 6846765 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846689 >Where we're going, we don't need roads. I'm glad you said that. At first, I imagined trying to train some sort of large lizard but you're right. It would be more like taming a falcon since birds are their closest living relatives. In that case, it may not be too hard at all.

2 hours later 6846847 Anonymous
>not going back in time to help Germany win WWII Come on, /r9k/, use your noodle. >Germany subdues France and UK with little loss of life >USA joins in with Germany to easily defeat USSR >humanity enters a new golden age of world peace and enlightenment >space colonization and all diseases cured by 2020 >no #swag

3 hours later 6846881 Mr.Hillyer
>>6846847 It seems that might be easier said than done. How would you go about doing so? The time machine only provides transportation to your chosen destination. You must do the rest.

3 hours later 6847402 Anonymous
I'd go back to the day I was conceived and stop my parents from fucking. >mfw no one has said this

4 hours later 6847680 Anonymous
>>6847402 >implying that all those people didn't actually use the machine and

4 hours later 6847889 Anonymous
>Go back about 3 months and warn myself that that girl was only out to hurt me in the end.

4 hours later 6847959 Mr.Hillyer
>>6847402 Are you planning on bursting into the room and stopping them in the act? >>6847680 Huh. You do make a very valid point. >>6847889 I don't mean to be rude but, is that really all you'd use a time machine for? Did this girl impact your life that negatively? I don't mean to lose sight of the topic of this thread but, I've learned many valuable lessons from my past failed relationships and I wouldn't change a thing.

4 hours later 6848040 Anonymous
>>6847889 oh hey there eeyore

4 hours later 6848042 Anonymous
>go back to me at a younger age >slap my shit everytime i was about to fuck up and then i wouldnt even know /r9k/ exists

4 hours later 6848074 Anonymous
I would go to Athens. Such a wonderful city, an actual democracy (except for slaves, but fuck them).

4 hours later 6848090 Anonymous
1949. Not only would I of course be able to become very wealthy from investments/betting, but I could live in the most stylish and most promising era in recent history.

4 hours later 6848152 Anonymous
I'd go back to dinosaur times. I wouldn't plan on coming back. I'd die the greatest death ever, fist fighting a dinosaur.

4 hours later 6848219 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848042 I see how this may work but, are you the type to adhere to that sort of direction and physical correction? I feel almost as if my past self would resent my future self for being such a prick, and then be resistant. >>6848074 Classical Athens in ancient Greece, I am assuming. VERY PATRICIAN OF YOU. (c wut i did ther...also, I am aware that it is an ancient Roman term) >>6848090 A very classy choice. I don't think I'd mind living in that time period at all.

4 hours later 6848237 Anonymous
So... You can't go forward in time?

4 hours later 6848293 Anonymous
>>6848219 >>6848042 here a good point, but i would actually listen to my fufure self. and if i didnt, thats when i would slap my shit. Besides, i couldnt end up much worse

4 hours later 6848300 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848152 Good luck. I see how it would be tempting in a sort of "man vs. wild" kind of way. I don't think it would be for me though. If there was a guarantee that I'd return safely, then I may consider it. >>6848237 Not this time. Wait for a future thread.

4 hours later 6848320 Anonymous
Anytime during the 1950s. and just enjoy being white

4 hours later 6848395 Anonymous
I'd go back and change some of the completely random stuff that changed the world drastically and then back to the present and see what would have changed.

5 hours later 6848419 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848293 I'd say this is a good idea then, for the most part. Back in my teenage years I was a disrespectful little asshole so, I don't think it would have been too successful of a method for me. >>6848320 Yes, it does seem like an ignorantly blissful time for the white man. Life seemed simpler.

5 hours later 6848421 Anonymous
>>6848300 >Not this time. Wait for a future thread. Fair enough. I'm not sure what I would do, then. I'd love to go way back and observe some ancient civilizations, but the language barrier would be problematic if the time machine stopped working. Not to mention all the other dangers of stepping into a world you only know fragments of. I might accidentally piss someone off and get killed. This leaves me the last couple centuries to play with. It'd be neat to go back and help spearhead advances in the sciences, but I doubt I'd be listened to. I'd like to see the roaring 20's, but I'd rather not experience the 30's - although maybe my knowledge of the future could snag me cozy living conditions. Is the time machine a one-seater?

5 hours later 6848455 Anonymous
Japan, any decade of the 20th century

5 hours later 6848461 Anonymous
Can I go grab Nikola Tesla before he goes completely insane and bring him to present day so he can fix everything?

5 hours later 6848471 Blue
Go back in time and tell chamberlain he's a faggot and make sure he ruins hitlers shit early

5 hours later 6848511 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848395 Such as? >>6848421 >dangers of stepping into a world you only know fragments of Exactly this. I'd love to watch all of these ancient civilizations from afar but, I'd be completely out of luck if forced to stay in that time period. >I doubt I'd be listened to Another good point that people seem to overlook. Even if you did know the future advances in science, would you have any credibility? >Is the time machine a one-seater? Good question. Let's assume you can fit one passenger.

5 hours later 6848543 Sky Harbor
I'd go back one minute from now and fight myself to death. The winner will claim both timemachines and recognition from the other me, who went back in time after the fight to watch the fight and fight the winner. After that I will go back to 4 bc before Jesus was born and fuck the Virgin Mary.

5 hours later 6848548 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848455 Early 20th century Japan seemed alright. It really isn't my cup of tea but, wars were ending and industrialization was beginning. >>6848461 You could try but, remember there's no guarantee you'll get back in one piece. >>6848471 Do you believe he would listen to you?

5 hours later 6848558 Anonymous
>Go back to the Vinnland settlement >Stop Erik the Red's sister from committing the murder that ruined everything >Encourage trade with the natives >Tell them just how big a threat christianity is and whip them into a frenzy >Stop the christianization of Scandinavia >Use advanced siege engines and gunpowder tech to storm Rome and tear down the Vatican >Renaissance happens several centuries earlier >First moon landing in 1794

5 hours later 6848562 Anonymous
Going back to the day I was born so I can kill my mother and make it look like she died from childbirth.

5 hours later 6848566 Anonymous
>>6848543 That, is amazing. Not the jesus thing but... The fighting the winner thing, over and over again. Eventually all that will be left is the greatest fighter to ever exist. And it will be you (or a variation of you).

5 hours later 6848585 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848543 >preventing the birth of Jesus I actually like this plan very much. What exactly would you do with two time machines?

5 hours later 6848591 Anonymous
>only able to go back What kinda shitty time machine is this

5 hours later 6848610 Anonymous
>>6848511 I'd go back in time and warn Hannibal about hitting his fucking cane into a mountain and killing half his army before invanding Rome. so maybe Carthage would eventualy become the huge empire instead of Rome. I'd delay Gavrilo Princip enough so he can never assassinate Franz Ferdinand and delay/stop/change the result of the First World War. Maybe find young Hitler and buy one of his paintings so he doesn't becomes such a bitter person. Or assure that one of the atempts at his life actually succeed. I'd just like to see how much "little" things can change history.

5 hours later 6848619 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848562 How exactly will you kill her and have it be blamed on childbirth? Will you kill your infant self? >>6848591 I will have it fixed for the next thread. I'm working on it.

5 hours later 6848639 Anonymous
>>6848543 Better idea regarding the Jesus thing: >Go back to 4 BCE >Kill the roman soldier Panthera and assume his identity >Fuck Mary >Become the father of one of the most legendary figures in human history >Fake death >Follow him around and use modern tech to help him accomplish his supposed miracles >Make secret entrance into his grave ahead of time, use defibrillator on him >Troll all of history

5 hours later 6848649 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848610 I do agree with you. Thinking about all the small things that could have changed all of history amazes me to no end. The scary part is, would it be significantly better or significantly worse?

5 hours later 6848658 Anonymous
>>6848610 >buy one of his paintings It would probably be more effective to bribe the members of the board that blocked his entry into art college.

5 hours later 6848660 Anonymous
>>6848511 >would you have any credibility? Well, I can imagine credibility could be built up by proving that the things are true and work. It would just be difficult and I'm bound to run into problems. It seems a risky endeavor. It would be far easier to use future knowledge for investing in things you know will be successful. >Let's assume you can fit one passenger. So, I can bring along one person with me? This changes things. I can do far more with someone with me than alone. Safer, too, and less lonely if we get stuck. I'm still not sure when I would go, though. It'd have to be some place my friend and I both agree to go to. Ideally, I'd like to be able to use what we know to live a terribly easy and comfortable life. It's sort of cheating and lazy, but I'd do it anyway.

5 hours later 6848675 Anonymous
>This thread >ttp://xkcd.com/1203/ I'd have a hard time deciding what time. My main issue is that I'll remember the this era as well... If I could have my mind erased, and just come into the 1950s, that'd be alright with me. (dat economy, dem wimmen)

5 hours later 6848680 Sky Harbor
>>6848566 Thanks man. >>6848585 Who said I was going to prevent the birth of Jesus? >What would you do with two time machines? Technically it would be more the two, since I'd do the fighting thing for awhile. Two would be backups incase one broke during my travels.

5 hours later 6848696 Ricky (image.jpg 200x254 19kB)
>tfw you will never save Anne and grow old together

5 hours later 6848715 Anonymous
>>6848649 I actually think Hitler never reaching power would hurt the World terribly, mostly because the Nazi party could still reach power and someone much worse than Hitler would probably be in charge. Or because then the Cominterm and the Western powers would have more complicated relations, and an even worse war could break between them.

5 hours later 6848719 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848658 That is a brilliant idea. Like I said earlier in the thread though, I do believe that even if Adolf Hitler was stopped there would be just another dictator with similar ideals in his place fucking shit up. >>6848660 >Ideally, I'd like to be able to use what we know to live a terribly easy and comfortable life. I think out of all things, I'd end up doing this. Maybe find a significant other to take a long with me. We could run away together to wherever and whenever we wanted. Terribly sappy, I know.

5 hours later 6848736 Anonymous
>>6848619 >How exactly will you kill her and have it be blamed on childbirth? Just cause some serious internal damage. Get some massive internal bleeding happening. Especially if I cause this while she's in labor. She'll die on the table while the doctors save me.

5 hours later 6848747 Anonymous
I would travel back about two and a half years ago, to the theater at which I was the electrician. I'd land my time machine on stage, where my past self was. I'd punch out my past self, steal my keys, run to the main switchboard and cut the power to the building, preventing the high-voltage arc fault and subsequent electrical fire. I could, of course, go back an hour sooner and try and explain the situation calmly, but that's for losers. Then I'd go wake up my past self, let me know about the faulty wiring, tell him not to date Olivia, then climb in my time machine and fly off to the 1890s to hang with Nikola Tesla.

5 hours later 6848771 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848675 So, you'd want to go to an era to with no intention of returning? >>6848680 Well, do you think god would still put a baby in Mary if she was not a virgin? I am over thinking your whole plan now and I feel like you may open some sort of wormhole and destroy the space-time continuum...or something. >>6848696 >implying she'd want you

5 hours later 6848786 Anonymous
>>6845882 >implying moot would ever sell it

5 hours later 6848801 Anonymous
>>6848696 >tfw Jeff beat ya to the punch.

5 hours later 6848853 Anonymous
I'd go back in time and kill little Abraham Lincoln before he even started to think about politics, just to see what would be of America(and the world) today.

5 hours later 6848881 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848736 I won't lie, see many holes in your plan. Killing someone in a place like a hospital seems risky. Imagine getting caught and having to go to jail in the past. >>6848747 A very honorable thing to do. How bad was the fire? Was anyone seriously injured or killed?

5 hours later 6848884 Anonymous
>>6848719 >Terribly sappy, I know. It would be nice though, wouldn't it? The only issue would be finding someone special like that who would do this, and that's probably more unlikely than finding a time machine. Oh well. On another note, I just thought of another use for the machine. If there would be some way to automate the machine's jumps through time, maybe I could just mount cameras on it or other recording devices and have it jump back and forth. That way if it gets stuck, I'm not stuck in a time I can't survive in, but if it comes back I get valuable recorded information that historians would kill for.

5 hours later 6849010 Anonymous
>>6848771 >So, you'd want to go to an era to with no intention of returning? Oh, I can return? Umm, well shit... I guess I'd only return if I hated that timezone more than the current.

6 hours later 6849055 Anonymous
I'd go back to the late 50's and enjoy the life of a baby boomer.

6 hours later 6849076 Mr.Hillyer
>>6848884 >The only issue would be finding someone special like that who would do this, and that's probably more unlikely than finding a time machine You never know. I am not a professional on this subjects but...you just never know. Sort of like a rover for space exploration. I like this idea a lot. I had a very complicated idea for a way to not travel to the past but, to view it. It's a bit too much to write out in this thread but, perhaps another time.

6 hours later 6849213 Anonymous
>>6849055 Also in the 60's or 70's I'll track down my grandparents and watch my dad grow up from afar.

6 hours later 6849263 Mr.Hillyer
>>6849213 Do you have a certain reasoning for wanting to watch your father grow up? It seems a bit strange.

6 hours later 6849274 Anonymous
If I ever got a time machine, I'd come back to THIS EXACT MOMENT. I didn't appear in the time machine, so I probably never will get a time machine.

6 hours later 6849299 Anonymous
>>6849213 Along these same lines, I'd go back in time to the 60's, at my dad's college, and hang with him and his friends without him knowing that I'm his son. They're all old now, but from the stories I've heard and the photo albums I've seen, they had an awesome time in college.

6 hours later 6849342 Anonymous
I'd be really tempted to go back in time, befriend myself through the internet, and then convince myself to avoid some terrible mistakes I made.

6 hours later 6849397 Anonymous
>Holland, 1945 >save Anne Franke >ITAOTS never happens >???? >no semen

6 hours later 6849477 Anonymous
>>6849263 I guess I worded that creepily. I'm just curious to see how they lived back then. Also I want to see how my family began but I wouldn't be able to because I don't want to mess up the timeline in any way. If I ever wanted to get close to my family, I'd avoid my parents completely and just talk to my grandparents. I'd have to change my name, though. I didn't include my mom because she traveled between two completely different states throughout her childhood so it's be a huge hassle to see her. I at least have an Idea of where my dad would be and the phone book would help. The whole parents thing is a tiny part of my wish/plan. I'd mostly create a new life for myself and enjoy the golden age of living. I'd have to figure out how to create a new identity, though. Shit will be hard without any license.

7 hours later 6850276 Anonymous
>go back >slap myself every time I did something I regret I'd probably be a brain-damaged motherfucker, though.

9 hours later 6851401 Anonymous
>>6848881 >Imagine getting caught and having to go to jail in the past. Especially considering you're a person that has no documentation and technically shouldn't exist.

9 hours later 6851445 Anonymous
>>6844952 Either when irrigation was first invented, to see the first people become farmer and more invested in one area or 1945 New York City when WWII was won. Everyone cheering and being united would be a heavenly sight. I might go back and become a little invisible guardian angel for my parents. Leave them candies and toys and other helpful things in their childhoods. They both grew up in messed up conditions.

9 hours later 6851456 Anonymous
>>6848090 >>6848219 I would love to live in the 50's, but minority...

9 hours later 6851458 sadpawwws
>>6844952 i would go back to the opening day of disneyland.

10 hours later 6851467 sadpawwws
>>6848696 >implying she wouldn't be with bieber

10 hours later 6851489 Anonymous
>>6851458 It was a mess and half the rides didn't work.

10 hours later 6851513 Anonymous
>>6845832 you know, if it wasn't for the holocaust, israel probably wouldn't exist.

10 hours later 6851516 Anonymous
>>6849397 lel'd fairly hard

14 hours later 6853301 Anonymous
>>6845146 No, bro, we don't need the Soviets stepping in with their Tesla coils and their Mammoth Tanks and shit. I'll take WWII over that any day.

14 hours later 6853316 Anonymous
>>6853301 >not using aircraft carriers and carefully placed mirage tanks to destroy those

14 hours later 6853324 Anonymous
>>6853316 >forgetting that would be RA1 and not RA2 >forgetting the Allies had fuck all to beat the Soviets in RA1

15 hours later 6853362 Anonymous
golden age of Athens. do I really need to explain? or the 60's dat acid

17 hours later 6854354 Anonymous
>go back to the day I was born >kidnap myself >raise myself as my own child what could possibly go wrong

22 hours later 6856975 Anonymous
>>6849076 >perhaps another time. You tease.

25 hours later 6858852 Anonymous
>>6853362 >go back to Athens >Greeks see you as just another barbarian >either killed or enslaved >such is life in Greece

25 hours later 6858876 Anonymous
The '80s for the Internet not to be around to show me how pathetic I am.

25 hours later 6859031 Anonymous
I go to the beginning of time, consciousness and existence and make sure none of it happens.

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