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2012-10-13 04:11 4071122 Anonymous (426488_3322574548888_1531615808_n.jpg 250x193 11kB)
Ok so I'm in sort of a sticky situation guys. Basically what happened is (at least this is how my aunt explains it) I kidnapped my cousin and and now we are driving across the country. We're in a little motel right now and my aunt and I would imagine some police are after us. I don't exactly know what I should do, but I'm extreamly scared, how do I avoid the law, good hitchhiking tips, shit like that. Help me robots, my cousin is depending on meting get her across the country and I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing pic related our destination.

2 min later 4071139 Anonymous
I will answer questions as they come because I don't want to give out to much

6 min later 4071197 Anonymous
Seriously guys cmon. I need your help with this!!

13 min later 4071267 Anonymous
Just have to keep bumping I guess

15 min later 4071278 swami
i bet you're an alien or part of the Illuminati too it's just like >>>/x/ !

17 min later 4071300 Anonymous
>>4071278 No sir nothing supernatural, just a crazy religious family who wants to do terrible things to my cousin.

19 min later 4071322 Anonymous
>>4071122 Why the fuck are you on 4chan when the cops are after you? >I don't even. Get the fuck off and see to your people. >"Mom, where's anon? We need some food." >"He's on 4chan in the lobby sweetie."

24 min later 4071368 Anonymous
>>4071322 I don't fucking know. Everyone says 4chan is the place to go if you have shit you don't want people to know (yes I am extremely new at this, thanks for asking) and my "people" are just me and my cousin in motel room somewhere in the west coast with a laptop that cannot be traced to us!

27 min later 4071409 Anonymous
How old is your cousin? This is key.

32 min later 4071451 Anonymous
>>4071409 Cant tell you dude not risking it. why?

32 min later 4071454 Anonymous
Change her clothes, first. Alter her appearance, I'm hoping your aunt used a fake name for the hotel, if not, gtfo

33 min later 4071465 Anonymous
>>4071122 First watch all three bourne films. Then make yourself look like Matt Damon. From there everything should fall into place. Alternatively watch all 3(4?) transporter films. Actually do that instead.

34 min later 4071472 Anonymous
If she's of a competent age, get her to calm down and shit. If the cops are looking for your vehicle and this kidnapping is that important, consider using a taxi or rentacar to get from location to location

36 min later 4071480 Anonymous
Also, is she consenting to this kidnapping? If so, do aforementioned. If not, drug her with Nyquil or something and keep her in the car

36 min later 4071486 Deecool
Cut your her or something. Seriously. Then bang your cousin out. Like shitless. Destroy her ass.

37 min later 4071490 Anonymous
>>4071368 >Everyone says 4chan is the place to go if you have shit you don't want people to know What. Nobody says this, and if they do they are wrong. You've got a higher chance of someone forwarding this thread to the FBI than anything else. Somebody do it.

37 min later 4071492 Anonymous
>>4071454 No you don't understand, my aunt and the rest of that side of my family are the ones I'm running from. Its just me and my cousin. We already changed clothes and we got here from a friend so we don't have a traceable car. I signed us in under fake names yes

37 min later 4071497 Deecool
>>4071486 >Her hair* Like someone said, alter your appearance.

37 min later 4071498 Anonymous
Dude, I live in CT! Why would you even think of coming here? It's an awful idea, brer. >change both of your appearances >use a fake name (might I suggest Ms. Sally Chesterfield and Mr. Shitty Fat-tits?) >stay off of major roads >stay out of big cities >don't steal to eat; beg That's all I've got.

38 min later 4071500 Anonymous
Try not to use anything that isn't physical currency and don't use a cell phone to call anyone you may know

39 min later 4071511 Anonymous
why did you kidnap your cousin?

39 min later 4071512 Anonymous
>>4071500 You also probably shouldn't use the internet, and particularly not any public message boards that log your IP, especially not to describe your plans to break laws across state lines and - oh, wait.

40 min later 4071519 Anonymous
>>4071511 I'd like to think it was for a noble cause, but this is /r9k/ so she's probably 12 and they're eloping.

40 min later 4071520 Anonymous
>>4071480 >>4071472 I didn't technically kidnap her. That's just the story my aunt will tell the cops. She came willingly with me because she understands the consequences of her staying >>4071486 I have no intention of doing so >>4071490 Please don't do this man

41 min later 4071523 Anonymous
So she's consenting, nice. Get on an interstate and haul ass. Fuck a hotel, no time to sleep if her from is that important. Your friend might be a loose end

42 min later 4071529 Anonymous
Ah, so no car. How much money?

42 min later 4071531 Anonymous
Don't take roads that are well known like interstate road instead take other roads, have already a back up story in case you are questioned by police. Don't trust anyone that meet. Dont use a cell phone only prepaid cell phones so you won't get tracked

43 min later 4071546 Deecool
>>4071520 Ooooo. I'm so intrigued! This is awesome. So what happened tell us the story. Oh god. Even if this is fake it gets me pumped! You guys should do some soul searching. Also how old is she?

46 min later 4071571 Anonymous
>>4071500 Withdrew all my money a week ago, bought tons of pot, sold it all. My money is clean Chucked cell a while ago >>4071511 Cannot explain >>4071519 Noble yes Eloping no 12 no

48 min later 4071580 Anonymous
How much money? This is crucial.

49 min later 4071594 Anonymous
>>4071571 If you won't answer her actual age, just answer if she's under 18 or over. Also, how long ago did you escape?

50 min later 4071598 Anonymous
>>4071529 Enough to get me hopefully to the middle of the States. I'm trying to hike it. I have some basic survival supplies so we can camp if required. >>4071546 I would love to tell you the full story but I don't know how safe that would be. Also no ages sorry

50 min later 4071601 Anonymous
Drive her across country then we she gets to her destination, you go to Mexico since you can never go home again. Live out the rest of your days, drinking and smoking by the beach wearing khaki shorts and Hawaiian shirts reminiscing about your one and only love and the days you spent together driving across america running from the police and making love in a different motel every night. You will try to move on by meeting local women or the occasional american tourist but you will never love any of them as you did your underage cousin. You will think of her everyday but you know you will never see her again. As you grow older you realize she may not even recognize you anymore. You wonder what she looks like now but that thought is not as beautiful as her young innocent nubile face that has been so deeply engraved into your mind. You will die, probably alone and no one will ever know your story except the few of us here who just happened to see this thread.

52 min later 4071619 Anonymous
>>4071594 Ok I can confirm that but that is as far as ill go. I don't know if I should say how long.

53 min later 4071625 Anonymous
>>4071300 What was your faggity family gonna do to her? Please say anal rape

55 min later 4071629 Anonymous
>>4071601 I actually kind of like this. OP, was it really bad enough to fucking take the girl away? Surely a cross-country trek would be worse than most things.

55 min later 4071631 Anonymous
>>4071601 Mexico may be a bit risky because I would be going back the way I came. But then again noons would expect that either. And Jesus Christ, I have no interest in fucking my cousin.

56 min later 4071644 Anonymous
If they were going to do something bad to her, why not just call the police?

58 min later 4071661 Anonymous
You have all just been implicated in aiding and abetting a fugitive from justice in crossing state lines. The party van has been dispatched. Backtrace is inevitable. Nah, just kiddin lol.

59 min later 4071665 Anonymous
>>4071300 What were they going to do to her? You can tell us this kind of information, the police already know who you are. Just don't release where you are. Is your family satanist?

59 min later 4071668 Anonymous
>>4071598 Nope, tell us the full story. We love stories. Or at least summarize it quickly.

1 hours later 4071687 Anonymous
>>4071368 >just me and my cousin And where did your aunt go, buddy? Sounds more like you are the bad type of kidnapper.

1 hours later 4071697 Deecool
>>4071668 This, we wanna know how hot of a shit you're in. You should also buy her some stuff. Maybe she'll start to like you then. I don't know. This is a good time for relationship bonding and telling her how you really feel about her.

1 hours later 4071703 Anonymous
>>4071644 Seriously, if she's going to be abused contact child services or whatever local authority. You're not going to fucking evade the FBI and an AMBER alert once this becomes a nationwide kidnapping case. This will end with you and the cops, you might as well communicate with them now, tell them what you won't tell us about your situation. Otherwise you're going to end up talking to them after they burst into your room with assault rifles at dawn after a months-long manhunt and they'll be much less sympathetic to your story. There is no good reason for you to do this without contacting the authorities. Pick up the phone now. Assuming you're not a troll, which you probably are.

1 hours later 4071704 Anonymous
>>4071629 >>4071625 I will give you a shortened and censored version of the story, My dads side of family comes from a very very small town, I was born there but my mother didn't want me living there for reasons that will later be explained. I lived out most of my life in the city until my mother died, iwas then forced to live with my father for the remainder of my teen years. While there I learned that this town was very Christian and very conservative and had a great belief in inbreeding. When I turned 18 I got the fuck out of there (against my fathers wishes). in said town, they have this thing where the next of kin is to (illegally) marry someone else in the community, usually its a girl who the church deems "ready for marriage" This year it happened to be my cousin. I didn't want to see her subjected to a life of serving whatever fat slob they chose to marry her and niether did she. So one night after preparing for about a month, got her and we ran. That's the story

1 hours later 4071725 Anonymous
>>4071704 So the people you're running from are breaking the law, and you managed to somehow turn this into a situation where you are the fugitive. Great plan, man. How exactly do you see this ending well? What do you think is going to happen in Connecticut? If you don't want to contact the cops directly, call a lawyer or a journalist or one of those non-profits for women or children. If your story is true someone will be sympathetic.

1 hours later 4071734 Anonymous
>>4071704 What. The. Fuck. If this is real, call the national news and report it. Can you imagine that kind of story breaking? Young innocent girls being forced to marry people? The press would eat that shit up. Also, you confirmed a post that asked if she's under or over 18. That's not really an answer, but I guess it's obvious she's underage.

1 hours later 4071744 Anonymous
>>4071703 My family wont turn this into a nationwide manhunt, they don't want the truth about them getting out. They may get some local cops, but after they realize that I'm out of the state, they're gonna hire guys to come get methey may be a small town, but it was a small town funded on old money. They have connections

1 hours later 4071755 Anonymous
Holy shit. If this is real, I can't wait to find out how this all blows over.

1 hours later 4071761 Anonymous (1349744254705.jpg 400x300 23kB)
I hope you get caught, quick

1 hours later 4071762 Deecool
>>4071704 Pretty sure you could've called the police or something, but that's fucking awesome. Kudos OP. You're a fucking hero in my book.

1 hours later 4071776 Anonymous
>>4071744 There are three options here A) You're bored and making shit up on /r9k/. This is highly likely. B) There are certain elements of truth to your story, but you are currently under the influence of fantastical paranoid delusions regarding the rest. This is next most likely. C) Finally there is a 0.1% chance you are completely telling the truth, in which case enjoy your book deal and the Hollywood movie about your life. In the case of B or C there is no reason for you not to do this: >>4071725 >>4071703 Do it.

1 hours later 4071787 Deecool
>>4071744 OOOOOOOOOOOOOH It's like you're in a movie! Dammit I wish I was there. I'd be the black best friend making wise cracks and complaining about the temperature.

1 hours later 4071800 Anonymous
OK OP, it sounds like it's good that you got her out of town. It's likely that your local cops are in on this, too. But you don't have to go all the way across the country. Just bring your cousin to the nearest city large enough to have a proper detective department in its law enforcement. Maybe in the next state if you think this cult thing is wider than your town. If what you're saying is true, things should work out. I really hope this is true, I would love to hear about this crazy inbred town on the news.

1 hours later 4071806 Anonymous
>>4071800 I hope it's not true, so I can steal OP's ideas, write a novel about it and become rich.

1 hours later 4071810 Anonymous
>>4071725 >>4071734 You guys don't get it, this isn't something that happens once in a million years, this shit happens all the time! I grew up in this town, ive seen the goons they get to find people, stories like this do not break because they are not allowed to break This is not something I can just "go to the cops with" I'm talking deepweb level shit here man( yes I know what deepweb is). Truth is I'm scared. If I go to anyone e with this I will be dead within a month

1 hours later 4071825 Anonymous
>>4071810 You might wanna skip countries instead of states, man.

1 hours later 4071837 Anonymous
>>4071810 ... That's not what the word "deep-web" means, but whatever. No, in any case, some hick town does not have agents hidden in every level of government, the FBI, state police all over the country, the media, the CIA and the White House. If you aren't bullshitting about the other parts of your situation, then you're just being irresponsible as fuck by not contacting the authorities because of this ridiculous shit. A bunch of Mormons are not fucking Ouroboros.

1 hours later 4071844 Anonymous
>>4071810 You should try hiring an assassin off of the deepweb to perform the odd job of using his skills to kill the oppressive town leaders and goons. That, or just contact the FBI rather than the cops if it's seriously that bad.

1 hours later 4071871 Anonymous
>>4071844 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MAN. THE HEAD OF THE FBI HAS DINNER WITH THE MAYOR OF HICKSVILLE EVERY YEAR, MAN. IT'S ALL CONNECTED. SHIT OP JUST REALISED THAT MOOT IS ALMOST CERTAINLY IN ON THIS CULT HE'S PROBABLY CALLING THE MAYOR RIGHT NOW. RUN FOR YOUR GODDAMN LIFE.

1 hours later 4071880 Anonymous
>>4071837 I never said it was a "hick town" it is a small town, a small town that has old money and old money that ituses well and according to some people in the town money that shaped this country. like I said. This isn't the first time this has happened

1 hours later 4071894 Anonymous
>>4071880 If you're being totally genuine and you actually believe this, then you've gotta realise that the egomaniacal and obviously crazed religious people in your community were bullshitting you. They do not control the cops, or the government, or the FBI. Their money did not "shape this country". Get some motherfucking perspective, man.

1 hours later 4071907 Anonymous
>>4071619 You just answered yes to her being over and under 18. Just answer this. Is she OVER 18?

1 hours later 4071922 Anonymous
>>4071880 Oh fucking please, as soon as they find out what you've done, they'll all probably pray for god to fly them over to you or something.

1 hours later 4071932 Anonymous
I would suggest not using credit cards and getting new cell phones. Try not to cross any major state boarders alone. Try going with some other hitchhickers to make it seem like your in a group. They will be looking for the two of you. Change your hair color and clothes. Much as I got for you bro. Sorry.

1 hours later 4071937 Anonymous
>>4071894 Fuck man I homnestly don't know what the fuck to believe. I have no clue what the Fuchs I'm doing I'm starting to cry man, I don't kno who the fuck to believe, I'm fuming scarred dude. do you really think if I go to the police then I can expose them?. All I want is my cusin to be safe, are you sure that if I go to thcops tun she will be safe

1 hours later 4071968 Anonymous
>>4071368 >Everyone says 4chan is the place to go if you have shit you don't want people to know (yes I am extremely new at this, thanks for asking) Wait. So this guy turns to "4chan" in desperation after hearing about it on the internet and showing up for the first time and comes to... /r9k/? Not /b/, the most famous and well-populated board that someone who would say something like that would probably direct someone to, not /a/, the first board on the list, not /trv/ or /adv/ which might sort of make sense, but /r9k/. /r9k/ the completely ambiguous board that's represented on the front page at the very end with "ROBOT9001". Yeah, that's real attractive by pure chance to some panicked newcomer. You post this on /r9k/ because you know you get a response to this kind of storytelling here. Of all boards this is not where someone telling the truth would wind up. There is absolutely no explanation for it.

1 hours later 4071998 Anonymous
>>4071968 shhh...don't spoil the illusion.

1 hours later 4072026 Anonymous
Ok someone just pulled into the motl driveway. They haven't got out of thier car . It looks like a mid. To late 90s flatbed, they're stir just sitting there, fuck I'm going for it. I'm going for the police. I think there's a station a few miles up the road, bur the roses curved so we should be able to cut throught the woods, I waking up my Jen now, I don't care if you know her name because its feather do or die right now Wish me luckman,

1 hours later 4072038 Anonymous
>>4072026 You should give us some more info in case this whole thing goes south. Don't post it now, just have it copied and paste it real quick if shit goes down.

1 hours later 4072049 Anonymous
>>4072038 ... Are you seriously still believing this guy?

1 hours later 4072060 Anonymous
>>4072049 hush now, friend...don't spoil the illusion.

1 hours later 4072069 Anonymous
There are tutorials online for building a cloaking device out of a pringles can, lookem up yo!!! Uhm... For serious though OP, it sounds as though you may be out of your depth here. Go find some adults to help you. Get to the closest university/college you can find and go to the SOCIAL SCIENCES department. Ask to speak with the department chair. Tell them your story. They will either rollover on you (contact authorities) or try to help. Here is a little social engineering knowledge for you. When you are going to be betrayed by someone, the temperature in the room goes up, eye contact breaks, and convenient excuses are often provided. You will be asked to remain on premises, regardless of your gauge of the individuals helpfulness, DO NOT DO THIS. You can return at anytime. If there is an attempt to physically restrain you, begin to scream RAPE!!!! STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!!! at the top of your lungs.

1 hours later 4072109 Anonymous
Well now that OP is good and fucked time for me to take this entire story, add some drama and romance, write the next best seller and make a killing.

1 hours later 4072125 Anonymous
>>4072109 Fuck off, it's mine. I read it first.

2 hours later 4072271 anonymous
Lol, I trolled all of you. Haha, you all fell for it. There is no town, that's absolutely crazy lol. Since I am done trolling for the night I should probably get rid of this thread to save you all the embarrassment of being trolled. how do I contact the 4chan moderator/moderators to have them delete this thread. Lol, I'm such a newfag!

2 hours later 4072284 Anonymous
>>4071704 You need to start forging documents and working odd jobs OP

2 hours later 4072464 anonymous
Me Joseph A becker I am 23 I live at 2213 rainbow road San bernardino california My mother is Madaline Baird (Dec) My father is paul Becker My cousinshall remain nameless. Shes running, I don't know where she is going to go, but she is gone The town is called Elvers Way. It is located in death valley. The exact coordinates are unknown They are led by a man named Matthew Quincy. Be is a dangerous and evil person. My aunts name is Mary Becker Please this is all I can give you. DONT BELIEVE THEIR LIES

2 hours later 4072514 Anonymous
>>4072464 Godspeed, Anon. muteflox

4 hours later 4073203 B4Cfag
>>4072464 Such bullshit. If a local PD was pursuing you this far an amber alert would have been issued and the CHP would be involved.

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