4chan archive /r9k/ (index)
2012-10-07 12:16 4003382 Anonymous School wins (criminalscum.png 544x419 408kB)
>In geography >class is noisy as fuck >geography teacher yells "STOP!" >I say "right there criminal scum! You've violated the law!" >class is in uproar >teacher cannot quiet down the class, he sends me outside and lectures me on some shit I can't remember Tell me about times you won in school

2 min later 4003404 Anonymous
>OP thinks being an asshole to their teacher is "winning"

3 min later 4003418 Anonymous
>you must be coolest kid in high school op

4 min later 4003431 Anonymous
Every political argument ever, except abortion, after which I researched and to change my stance completely (from typical "don't really care pro-abortion" to militantly anti-abortion). We discussed a lot in my class. I remember shutting the women up especially, because they're all emotion-driven robots who just do and say whatever they've been told is nice and good that year. They start to shake when losing and eventually shut up, then go onto their blogs and copy-paste more well-formulated statements from political websites that I already crushed, yet they never brought it up again in person. The term sheeple was and probably is disturbingly fitting.

5 min later 4003440 Anonymous
>omg guys he referenced a meme in context, we should be proud of him for some reason

5 min later 4003441 Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
>quiet >sat in the back of the class with the rest of the meangirls lel. >text'd all day >eventually flipped my hair and scoff'd at someone random OP, you're the kinda of person I hate. I fucking coming to class to learn, not for some faggot to be yelling back. Classclowning is so 2002

9 min later 4003482 Anonymous
>>4003382 >Tell me about times you won in school >won in school >implying it's possible to win in school >implying even if it was possible, any robot would ever have done it Winning normalfags belong in >>>/reddit/

12 min later 4003509 Anonymous
>>4003382 >idiotic space discovery program installed on school system. >realize if you save one of these space recordings it takes up about 12 gigs of RAM >make well over 9000 copies of tour through solar system. Call it "spacingsworth" >School system crashes. Teachers can't save anything. >get suspended for two days also in general I was a bit of a class clown but I remember my first incident of calling out in grade 7. >Teacher asks "What did Louis Pasteur say?" >"Show Me The Money!" >class is laughing because its lolsorandum

15 min later 4003531 Anonymous
>sat in University lecture on computational mathematics >already difficult subject material >professor is from Romania, really fucking difficult to understand >faggots to the right of me and behind me are talking about shit >can barely understand anything being said >look a few rows ahead of me, someone is watching Star Wars on their laptop >just want to shout "ANYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A DOCTORATE IN THIS SUBJECT PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP" God damn, I wish he'd just step up and yell at someone for once. I really can not wait for these dicks to get their first assessed work back.

16 min later 4003539 Anonymous
>every time a teacher asks "any questions?" i fight the urge to ask if mayonnaise is an instrument >one day just don't give a shit anymore >teacher is talking about a new assignment >"any questions?" >i stand up as quickly as i can and say IS MAYONNAISE AN INSTRUMENT!?!!?! >nobody laughs >i still fucking won

17 min later 4003546 Anonymous
We had a permanent substitute teacher in one class in high school. Basically everybody did whatever they wanted, we never learned anything. They just threw spitballs at the teacher and started singing and weird shit. I never wanted to be apart of it, because all those kids were all in the same douchebag loser group. I think they ended up turning on one of their own, and raped the one guy they assigned as beta male. Like tore his shirt off and fondled him in front of the whole class. This other black kid who wasnt in that main group, kept to himself like me, but thought he was in prison and got all chimped out at random times. It was weird, I just wanted things to be normal.

17 min later 4003547 Anonymous
>>4003509 >hurr durr how do computers work

20 min later 4003570 Anonymous
>>4003404 most teachers are pretentious pricks

21 min later 4003579 Anonymous
>>4003441 lol faggot nerd when the fuck have you ever used school geography? also you're too busy texting to learn

22 min later 4003582 Anonymous
>high school junior >badass at dancing >can do a full-on moonwalk >school talent show, classmates are doing a comedy sketch and they're bombing hard >I'm helping with the music and light effects, so I'm just off the stage behind the curtains >long awkward silence, they've forgotten their lines or some shit >a wild moonwalk appears across the stage >hall is in hysterics I was a fun kid

22 min later 4003587 Anonymous
>History class >Learning about Hitler or some shit >"Who could have stopped Hitler from doing [blah blah something bad I don't really remember] >Blurt out "the Power Rangers" >Uproar >Coolshades

22 min later 4003588 Anonymous
>School installs firefox on computers >Find an addon that lets people talk to each other kind of like msn (this was like 10 years ago, msn was still cool then) >Within a week everyone at the school is chatting to each other (we all had laptops given to us that had to stay in the class and basically couldnt do anything on, at the time this was a pretty big loophole) >Become popular for telling kids how to talk to each other without the teach knowing >School IT guy is a complete fucktard and cant figure out how to stop it >Go to the office and explain how to close permissions on the computers so they can't do that (I dont even remember what exactly it was, it was so long ago) >School gives me admin password for the computers to show them how to fix it >Never change the password >After school fixes it sign on with the admin account and change a bunch of marks around, fuck up teachers presentations (most were lazy and taught with powerpoint, lol), generally fuck shit up >No one figures out it was me that told the school how to put an end to student fraternizing and thought the problems on the server was just a bug in the system lol >Best 12 year old double agent ever

22 min later 4003590 Anonymous
Every argument ever, I was the brainy one; but it didn't matter after a while because most people don't know how to debate; they're mostly driven by emotion or led to conclusion by their prejudices or completely fail to see ideas that are independent of the context - you can't just tell these people that they're utter morons, especially in a classroom environment where the loudest voice gets heard the most - so my anger just transformed into resignation, eventually, I was the quiet guy casted by inanition; it caused me to hate my peers even more.

23 min later 4003596 Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
>>4003579 >nerd :[ Nope, and I use geography everyday. If you dont' about the world you live in, this place can be very scary. >2012 >not knowing the spots of beauty. lel

24 min later 4003602 Anonymous
>>4003588 you absolute legend but your teachers are damn stupid for not knowing you did all of that

26 min later 4003616 Anonymous
>>4003596 nah SCHOOL geography you twat when has learning about erosion and shit ever helped you? the only geography you need can be learnt through common sense

27 min later 4003622 Anonymous
>12 years old >French class >In the language lab (computers everywhere, have to listen to shitty French conversations and answer questions) >Notice a computer mouse has fallen on the floor >"Hey miss, there's a mouse on the floor" >Teacher shrieks and runs out of the room

28 min later 4003633 Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
>>4003616 >not loving every moment of learning about plate tectonics Scub.

30 min later 4003648 I
Good lord. I lold the slightest bit. Try harder, please. The one last night about staring down a girl in a gamestop was better

32 min later 4003668 Anonymous
>>4003602 It was hilarious, none of them had any idea what they were doing at all with computers (think about your parents or grandparents double clicking EVERYTHING, that bad), so it was basically free reign on the school's system. I also printed off 5000 copies of "BONERIFIC" typed out over entire sheets of paper like 100 times on every printer in the school, which caused the server to crash and because of the way the printers were set up, there was no way to stop it until it was done, so basically for about a week no one could turn on the printers or "BONERIFIC" would print out non-stop. Oh, I just remembered, in elementary school me and some other kid plugged every toilet and sink in the school at the same time, flushed all the toilets and turned on the taps and ended up flooding half the school and breaking a water main somehow, which resulted in the day off school. Also released a huge box of 10000 crickets (they sold them at a pet shop near us for dirt cheap) in the school in middle school, you could hear crickets chirping for months after in the school. The one thing I did get caught for was pulling the fire alarm 3 times in a day. I got greedy and flew too close to the sun, 2 would have been enough but noooooo I had to go for 3. Didnt end up getting fined but got suspended for a week I was a really bad kid.

36 min later 4003711 Anonymous (bl0x_original.jpg 244x235 8kB)
>>4003668 >Also released a huge box of 10000 crickets (they sold them at a pet shop near us for dirt cheap) in the school in middle school, you could hear crickets chirping for months after in the school. Fucking brilliant

37 min later 4003719 Anonymous
>Calculus class >Teacher passes out an exam >Silence >Some kid wants to be funny and goes "hurr how do I do number 1" >Me, deadpan: "With your face" >Teacher starts laughing uncontrollably to himself and keeps chuckling for like 10 minutes while we work "pffffwithyourfrigginface" I think he might have been a stoner.

38 min later 4003728 Anonymous
>>4003648 haha, I loved that. >"Costanza dot jaypeg"

39 min later 4003738 Anonymous
>>4003616 lol what That shit (physical geography) will help me when I attain my geography degree plus it's nice to actually know a little about how the landscape around you was formed. As well as that, human geography is extremely relevant and useful today also.

40 min later 4003744 Anonymous
I dropped out, got my GED, and went to a community college a year early and transferred to a university. The only way to win high school is to not play.

40 min later 4003745 Anonymous
>>4003668 >I also printed off 5000 copies of "BONERIFIC" typed out over entire sheets of paper like 100 times on every printer in the school, which caused the server to crash and because of the way the printers were set up, there was no way to stop it until it was done, so basically for about a week no one could turn on the printers or "BONERIFIC" would print out non-stop. fucking brilliant mate, the shit i did looks minor in comparison what are you doing now?

41 min later 4003755 Anonymous
>>4003738 i KNEW someone would say this shit I mean normal life, not your academic pursuits fucking hell obviously if you carry geography on you'll have needed it in school

42 min later 4003765 Anonymous (original_bl0x.jpg 497x333 74kB)
>let off stink bomb near main stairs of the school >causes havoc >Some fag tells the year head it was me >she just started laughing, never got in trouble Also >found a frog during lunch >brought it into school and left it in the toilets >kids start rushing in after a while to see the frog >one kid throws the frog at another kid and hits him in the face >principal, vice principal and caretaker arrive, seal the toilets off and turn it into a crimescene investigation

45 min later 4003796 Anonymous
>bored during a lesson >slowly get out of seat and onto the floor >start crawling up the row like an inchworm >combat roll past the teacher >teacher is looking at me like I'm retarded >crawl underneath her desk >"ANON GO BACK TO YOUR DESK!" >slowly look towards her >"This is my desk now" >teacher shakes her head and goes back to teaching >hang out under her desk for rest of class Algebra was pretty fun.

47 min later 4003814 Anonymous
I put a dead mouse complete with little maggots in this one girls locker back in middle school bc she was a total bitch to me. Granted I was a socially clueless raging aspie at the time who had a crush on her beforehand, but I still am glad I did something wreckeless and childish back then

47 min later 4003816 Anonymous
>>4003755 >>4003755 But I think about something geography related every day and I see what I have been taught in the classroom in the outside world every single day.

47 min later 4003818 Anonymous
>>4003668 >I also printed off 5000 copies of "BONERIFIC" typed out over entire sheets of paper like 100 times on every printer in the school, which caused the server to crash and because of the way the printers were set up, there was no way to stop it until it was done, so basically for about a week no one could turn on the printers or "BONERIFIC" would print out non-stop. koh god my fucking sides were shimmying for a good 30 seconds there oh god i have to catch my breath

50 min later 4003847 Anonymous
>>4003668 Jesus, you were a little shit, but that's fantastic.

51 min later 4003866 Anonymous
>>4003796 my sides are producing enough kinetic energy that they are now considered among one of the best options for sustainable energy

53 min later 4003882 Anonymous
>>4003796 You are a hero. Have an internet.

53 min later 4003889 Anonymous
I would make the clocks 5 minutes fast.

55 min later 4003900 Anonymous
We had a lecture were in the break in the middle of it, our lecturer asked us to illustrate the concept of Creativity. Most did lame drawings of lightbulbs or art supplies. I folded a paper plane out of my paper instead of drawing something. He loved it and referred to it from time to time in that lecture and the next. Not much of a story, but it was nice at the time.

59 min later 4003950 Anonymous
>buy a fuckton of birdseed >go to the teachers parking lot at 2am >dump birdseed everywhere >didnt exactly go as planned >teachers are like "what the fuck is this bird seed doing here?" >a few hours later >every single car in the lot is coated in bird shit >horrible stench wafting from parking lot >some teachers puke trying to get to their cars >some girl passed out because she was afraid of bird shit or something >some cars had permanent white stains on them >some teachers replaced their cars >administration had no idea who to blame

59 min later 4003957 Anonymous
I lead the rebellion that got one teacher fired, two transferred schools and substitutes almost refused to teach out class. It was fun at the time but I feel kinda bad treating underpaid teachers the way we did.

1 hours later 4004104 Anonymous
>>4003950 This is in every school thread ever, its getting pretty stale and chewey.

1 hours later 4004105 Anonymous
>in high school, would randomly throughout the year have all the printers in the school spit out a couple thousand printer calibration tests and completely decimate ink levels >grabbed some friends, bought like 100 rolls of duct take and completely covered the principals car in the middle of the night >multiple times with substitute teachers: grabbed attendance sheet, add extra names so they end up asking if "Mike Hunt" and all those similar stupid names are present >my favorite, basically a direct rip off of another prank I read about prior: algebra teacher hates subs teaching the material, so he just puts on movies. I grabbed one he was just going to show, took it home overnight, taped over the middle it with hardcore anal fucking porn and got to school early the next morning to put it back Never got caught with any of this.

1 hours later 4004163 Anonymous
>>4003745 Im going to uni and working for a landscaping company in the summer and private carpenter in the winter. I also do a lot of drugs, go figure.

2 hours later 4004797 jjj
took 1/4 ounce of weed into school the evening before the Ofsted inspection put a little behind the radiators all over the school the inspectors arrived a while later the radiators turned on needless to say the place smelt like a drug den

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