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2012-09-05 08:39 3672716 Anonymous CRINGE THREAD (1337060449146.jpg 427x231 48kB)
I haven't seen a cringe thread in a while. Greentext your stories, /r9k/.

4 min later 3672746 Anonymous
No. jytjyukuk

18 min later 3672820 Anonymous
That is not how you start a threads OP. You have to post your own story. The first few responses would be directed towards you, then people would start posting.

20 min later 3672831 Anonymous
>>3672820 pretty much this, are you new OP?

21 min later 3672834 Anonymous
This happened just today >Hanging out with bf >His mom calls and offers to take us out to dinner before we leave for school tomorrow >His mom is a really nice lady, but I have a tendency to over think things so she makes me nervous >We go to this really popular mexican restaurant and the waiters asks what we want to drink >We're sitting in silence for what seems like forever until I realize everyone's waiting on me to go first >why >When we place our orders I say "I'll have the ch-chicken quesadilla without onions please." >The waiter explains that the chicken and onions are cooked together, so that would be impossible >Get nervous, order something else >He says that's cooked with onions too >Panic, mumble out something along the lines of "Oh that's okay I'll just have a couple tacos" >He starts getting indignant with me, explaining that basically everything has touched onions at some point >What I don't understand I'll have two tacos please oh god I just want to run >The waiter is still talking over me and looking annoyed >Suddenly bf says "She's not allergic to onions. Tacos are fine." >Waiter says "Oh okay." and calls me picky before he walks away >Sit there frozen >Bf has to go to the bathroom so I get up to let him out and lean on the table >It's tilts and I almost spill everything >I apologize a thousand times to his mother >Sit there in silence with her while I begin to tear up >Oh god why >I can help it, my face just starts leaking >She pretends not to notice >I want to run out of the restaurant >I try to pay for the meal and feel bad when she doesn't let me

36 min later 3672945 Anonymous
>>3672834 I'm sorry to hear that anon.

1 hours later 3673156 Anonymous
>>3672834 It's ok, you have us.

1 hours later 3673188 Anonymous
>>3672834 Ouch, I always feared that would happen to me... I did cringe though

1 hours later 3673198 Seto
>>3672834 it's ok. we are here now. *hug*

1 hours later 3673207 Anonymous
>At home fapping one day >Decide to take photos of my dick on my phone >Delete them >Out with friends on Saturday night late that week >Friend asks to see pictures I took on recent holiday >You know exactly where this is going >Open pictures on my phone >My ugly little dick fills the screen >Hadn't deleted for some reason >Friend grabs phone and shows everyone including their girlfriends (roneryfag here) >Everyone laughing and insulting me Hardest thing was convincing them it was my dick. Due to my roneryness, lots of them assume I must be secretly gay. Not a good night

1 hours later 3673226 Anonymous
>>3672834 Oh God this is one of my biggest fears. I'm sorry that happened to you.

1 hours later 3673251 Anonymous
>>3673207 What the fuck man. No, seriously, why would you take pictures of Your own dick.

1 hours later 3673280 Anonymous
>>3673207 You could have said you took them to exchange nudes with a girl over the internet.

1 hours later 3673286 Anonymous
>Senior year of high school >Be TA for History Teacher >Browsing his computer on a slow day >Was attracted to close female friend, so looked up advice topics on how to attract her >A few days later, teacher putting in grades >Suddenly, asks me loudly from across the class >"Anon, why are you searching "How to attract a close friend of the oppoisite sex?" >Freeze instantly, try to put the blame on some other student >Class looks at me like I'm a weirdo, but say nothing Thankfully nothing came out of it. No one said shit to me after class, and it just went away. Still felt awkward as shit though.

1 hours later 3673323 Anonymous (Drinking.jpg 2048x1536 455kB)
>>3673251 Ronrey and you photographed your own dick? Just how bad is your life...? >>3673286 Your teacher is an unprofessional cunt. You should make them aware of that. Pic related, how you should instruct students.

1 hours later 3673362 Anonymous
>>3672834 but you ARE picky, why would you expect anything at a mexican restaurant to NOT be cooked with onions? You sound like you are hard to be around.

1 hours later 3673398 Anonymous
>>3672834 what a dick waiter. i hope your bf and his mom didn't tip. he must have sensed your cringy betaness to have been so however.

1 hours later 3673425 Anonymous
>>3672834 Not only they don't make each plate of food individually, they call the customer picky when he has wishes Shit tier restaurant, I bet it was in America

1 hours later 3673437 Anonymous
>21 >at family reunion >little brother is 9 >he gets mad for some reason >try to calm him down >"YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, ANON!" >pin drops in the apartment three floors down

1 hours later 3673493 Anonymous
>>3673362 I thought it would be okay to say "No onions please" and not receive onions though. I wasn't trying to be difficult. >>3673398 I tipped him five dollars so he wouldn't think I was upset with him.

1 hours later 3673549 Anonymous
>Sophomore year of highschool >taking English final >gas has been building up all day >Had succesfully held it in >gets really bad >try my best to hold it in >what slips out is the loudest fart I have ever had >Middle School >Sitting with a guy I was friends with in elementary school, but he is now popular >sitting at the popular kids table with him >hot girl sitting across from me >she says hi in my direction >look at her >look behind me as if she was talking to someone else

2 hours later 3673632 Anonymous
>Go wake-boarding with partner's family >Do knee-boarding first, strapped onto the board sat on your feet >Absolutely shitting my pants but I enjoy stuff like this so just go with it >Watch people doing it, seems fun >First time, the handle thing you hold on to whips me straight in to the water >Laugh it off, get out and do it again >Whipped off again, face first into water >Buttmad now, do it AGAIN >Faceplant the water so hard I go upside down and get trapped under the board >Thrashing about like a cunt and finally get out from under the fucking strap after doing a barrel roll >Everyone is looking at me with those 'be nice, she failed' eyes >Entire face is aching from speed of impact and have sinus ache >My arms feel like spaghetti >Do the walk of shame infront of about 50 people to the changing rooms >Had to relive the whole thing when we got home after discovering my partner's dad filmed the entire thing. I cringe soooo fucking bad even thinking about it. I always thought I had pretty decent upper body strength as I work out but the cringe was intensified when I saw young children managing it and me not being able to ahaha WEAKLING

2 hours later 3673701 Anonymous
>>3673493 you tipped him extra for being a dick. horry shit maximum beta here.

2 hours later 3673756 Anonymous
>one of the first days in high school >teacher asks me to read something >start reading, but it gets harder with every word >voice is shaking >stuttering >taking 3 seconds breaks between every word to calm myself down >"It's just your imagination, nobody sees this" >teacher approaches me cautiously >"Anon, what's wrong?" >"I-i-i h-h-h-a-ve t-t-t-rouble r-r-r-r...." >can't breathe at this point >"You have trouble reading to a crowd?" >Y-y-y-es >"Uhmmm, okay" >awkward silence >asks someone else to read it

2 hours later 3673825 Anonymous
>at summer camp >using one of the showers >alphas pissed off that 'im using one of the only hot showers' when they all fucking work >one guy turns on a massive industrial fan right next to my stall >the fan blows the shower curtain and they can practically see me naked. > step out of the shower using the curtain as a cover to unplug the fan >cant reach the cord so i step completely out fully naked and jump back in >everyone stared and laughed at me, i was circumscized >feel fucking awful and finish the shower with a 1000 yard stare >go outside and sit on this railroad tie parking lot barrier and sit with my face in my hands for like 20 minutes

2 hours later 3673905 Anonymous
>>3673632 Dude, it took me 6 of the 7 days of a legit wakeboardcamp to not smash my face on the water and you start being a little bitch after trying 3 times? Fuck you, you deserve to be laughed at for giving up so easily.

2 hours later 3674100 Anonymous
>highschool >teacher asks someone a question >he says something stupid >teacher repeats it and starts laughing >everyone is repeating it and laughing too >don't find it that funny, but do the same to look cool >teacher screams: "ARE YOU DONE?" at me >dead silence

2 hours later 3674222 Anonymous
>>3674100 oh man teacher sounds like a dick.

3 hours later 3674281 Anonymous
>>3673632 >>3673905 i got up my first try but im a boy ive tried teaching dozens of people and a lot of them never make it its really not that hard people just over think it

3 hours later 3674290 Anonymous (11490_m.jpg 600x450 27kB)
Anytime in class when they go through the rows having people introduce themselves 'Ok well start with X" >They are 5 people away >Clear throat >3 people away >Getting more nervous >I'm next, clear throat again >My turn, "H-hello, I am Anon" Massive feeling of relief after that, unless my voice cracked

3 hours later 3674296 Anonymous (2114225.png 679x461 137kB)
>Be 17 >Be with family at a parade >They want to get into an alcohol serving patio >I have never drank before >Get to the front of the line >The girl stamping people's hands motions for me to hold out my hand >I do out of reflex >The spaghetti explodes from my pockets with enough force to level a small building as I compulsively yell "B-BUT I'M ONLY S-SIXTEEN!" (I was actually 17) and yank my hand away forcefully >She stares at me shocked >Too many people behind me, I can't get out of line >I just push past her and go in >My sister who is normally very loud and offensive just looks at me pitifully

3 hours later 3674309 Anonymous
>be in line at bank >long queue >hot girl in front of me >turns around >"oh, hi!" >stand there, confused >"...hello" smile >"how are you?!" >start to get confidence, speak louder >"i'm good thanks, how are you?" >she looks at me like i'm disgusting >realise she is on a hands-free phone >everyone in queue is looking at us >she turns her back to me and carries on convo >so much shame

3 hours later 3674364 Anonymous
>>3674290 EVERY. TIME. I have this huge fear that I'll need to cough or something to clear my throat as soon as I start talking

3 hours later 3674369 Anonymous
>>3674309 I went red from reading that ... jesus christ

3 hours later 3674373 Anonymous
>>3674290 I fucking hate that shit. Especially when a teacher says, " And say something fun you did this summer." Panic mode engaged.

3 hours later 3674392 Anonymous
>>3674309 Dear lord, that sounds horribly embarrassing.

3 hours later 3674431 Anonymous
>>3674392 it was terribly so

3 hours later 3674471 Anonymous
>>3674309 The person who invented bluetooth headsets is probably laughing at the awkward situations he's created. I've had that happen multiple times at work. A customer is walking towards me, and says hello. I greet her back. She looks at me like "wtf", and I see her fucking headpeice.

3 hours later 3674498 Anonymous
>>3674373 One time new teacher asked us to introduce ourselves and name 3 things we like and 3 things we don't like. I don't remember all the things, but i remember I said I like video games and spaghetti. Oh the irony.

3 hours later 3674565 Anonymous
>>3673251 Lol I take pictures of my dick all the time, how else am I supposed to send girls pictures of my dick?

3 hours later 3674587 Anonymous
>>3674498 Nope, not really. Actually, that isn't ironic at all. Actually, go kill yourself.

3 hours later 3674589 Anonymous
>>3672834 AHHAHAHAHAHAHA FAGGOT

3 hours later 3674605 Anonymous
>>3674587 I'm pretty sure the irony is that he was "pre-meme" at the time >Assuming things

3 hours later 3674622 Anonymous
>>3674605 Okay, but how the fuck is that irony? Before you start getting all butthurt, this might be helpful to read: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irony?s=t

3 hours later 3674639 Anonymous
>>3674622 >Arguing semantics You know full well irony has taken on a different meaning in everyday use Stop being such an English major

3 hours later 3674652 Anonymous
>Take a cat I rescued last year to get neutered. >routine operation, nothing ever goes wrong >drop cat off at vets, make plans to pick him up at 4, after work >an hour later at work, get a call from the vet...knew right away... >cat's heart stopped after surgery, do I want to see him one last time? >go to vets, see dead little buddy lying there. >lose my shit. Like all robots, I scream the age old question to the skies: WHY WAS I DESIGNED TO FEEL PAIN??? >back home, too quiet by far. loose my shit again. >a

3 hours later 3674660 Anonymous
>>3674639 Okay, seriously? Do we really have to do this? Can't you just accept that you used a word wrong and try to avoid it in the future? Okay, maybe my reaction was a bit extreme. I apologize for that. But irony means what the dictionary says it means. It would be better for the both of us, as well as this thread if you accepted that or silently took your shit somewhere else before this argument gets out of hand.

3 hours later 3674674 Anonymous
>>3674660 Watch out guys, the slang police are here

3 hours later 3674698 Anonymous
>be reading >need to put book away >search for piece of paper to use as bookmark >find one on the floor, it has writing on it >realize they're talking about someone >realize that they're talking about ME >remarks about my hearing aids, says that I accentuate my flab when I sit cross-legged, that I need to wear a bra, that I touch myself, yadda yadda, lots of shit >curl up into myself, staring at that note >eventually stand up and give it to the teacher without a word >spend the rest of the day trying not to cry >never wear shorts again, nothing shorter than my knee. Now everyone comments and asks why I don't wear shorts or skirts or try booty shorts. I just shrug and pretend it's not my thing (never wore booty shorts anyway), but my mind always goes back to that note. Hit especially hard then, because I was underweight. I eventually got called in and sat one-on-one with each of the girls who had written that about me, but because teachers were present, I couldn't bitch them out and tell them how I really felt, and I felt pressured to forgive them. I never really have. Fuck them. There was a boy in my advisory who said he admired that I was always so comfortable with myself-- it died that day. Never really got it back.

3 hours later 3674700 Anonymous
>>3674652 Fuck, man. Normally I'd bitch at you for posting this in the wrong thread, but I can't bring myself to do that right now. I'm real sorry for your loss.

3 hours later 3674766 Anonymous
>be picking up a few groceries for gainz >hurry out the automatic doors >accidentally cut off a lady with 3 kids and a shopping cart >2nd set of doors open >without realization hold the door open for woman >make eye contact >a look of pure social terror washes over her face >i realize im holding an automatic door open >spaghetti away mumbling "sorry" >oh god

3 hours later 3674776 Anonymous
>>3673493 >I thought it would be okay to say "No onions please" and not receive onions though I usually manage the same, except it's with spaghetti or tortillas.

3 hours later 3674779 Anonymous
>at party last friday >high as fuck >girl introduces herself to me >says, "look at you!" >i hold up my arms and look down, inspecting myself, wondering wtf she is talking about, look back at her >she mimics my gesture and turns away umm wat

4 hours later 3674798 Anonymous
>week before graduation >hanging out with a fuckton of people at a park >it's near midnight >out of nowhere, this one 8/10 girl looks me directly in the eyes and says,"It's really sort of romantic out here, don't you think?" >be taken aback by this >start stuttering trying to come up with an answer >only manage to get out something that sounded like " Yea" >turn my eyes away and walk away to go catch up with my friends >can't stop thinking about it for the rest of the night Stuff like this has happened to me too many god damn times.

4 hours later 3674811 Anonymous
>>3674779 Dude, she probably felt just as awkward as you did and didn't know how to respond.

4 hours later 3674827 Anonymous
>>3674373 Why the hell do they even fucking do this?

4 hours later 3674842 Anonymous
>>3674798 And I thought I'd missed obvious hints.

4 hours later 3674877 Anonymous
>>3673756 That doesn't sound as bad as you might think. You explained the problem directly and got yourself out of the situation.

4 hours later 3675180 Anonymous
cant greentext, but Ill gormat it correctly. > Be twelve >My parents are working with an environmental group to create a float for the parade >I help out a lot because I was a faggot at the time. >They give me a CHEAP turtle outfit to wear while on the float. Its a little big for me but its ok. >Parade starts, it is a long one. >I am dancing, being a huge ham. I actually start enjoying myself. >Everyone is saying "Look at the turtle!!" >Holy shit I must be good at this! >Ham it up some more. >meanwhile my dad is filming the banner as the float goes by. >Horror crosses his face. >"ANON! ANON!" >I cant hear him, too busy being a dancing turtle. >"ANON PULL UP YOUR PANTS!" >The turtle outfit was too big, it had slid down and I hadnt noticed. >I had been dancing with my pants just under my ass for who knows how many blocks. >Everyone saw my whitey tighties. >pulled up my pants, sat down for the last ten minutes of the parade. >Parents still love that video. >Switch to boxers for the rest of my life.

4 hours later 3675215 Anonymous
Bumpadebumpadebloxandbloxand... tits.

4 hours later 3675241 Anonymous
>>3675215 I read that to the tune of the Harry Potter theme and cringed.

4 hours later 3675303 Anonymous
>chillin' with two female friends >hotbox her room, get baked as fuck >after eating a bunch of food, I have to use the bathroom very badly >sprint upstairs, jam ass onto toilet >blow mist of shit and shitjuice into toilet bowl with loudest fart conceivable >her dogs come upstairs and start barking at bathroom door >still feel strange blockage in gut, realize I should go home >run downstairs and grab my bag and say "I gotta go bye" >"We'll come with you to the bus, anon!" >Too beta to shake them off >Walk at a snail's pace to the bus stop 8 blocks away >Suddenly, another wave of feces and gas assaults my sphincter >Adamantly hold it in, trying to shake them off and get them to go back home >They refuse, suddenly my sphincter fails, allowing shit to slowly leak out of my anus >Luckily it was a dark night and I was wearing black pants, but I just start sprinting away from them >"I GOTTA MAKE THE BUS IT'LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE OR TWO BYE" >Sprint all the way home, through a crowded outside diner and several crowds, all while still blasting shit and gas out of my ass >It starts raining heavily halfway home >Get home and crawl in the shower fully clothed and start to cry myself to sleep >Wake up an hour later, completely soaked and moderately cleaner >Put clothes into wash, shower, don't talk to friends for several months

4 hours later 3675316 Anonymous
>Be yesterday >Think I am late for my comp sci class >Get to room >Shit prof is already talking >Shit only open seat is way in front of auditorium >Fuck >Quickly and quietly sit down, feel the gaze of everyone on me >Why are there so many women here, the fuck? >Look up at powerpoint >I just walked into the middle of some bullshit class about sacrifices in relationships or some shit >Ohgod >Wait, this isn't bad, maybe I just walked in early like an asshole >Check time >This class will go on for another 30min, I looked at my schedule wrong >Fuck >Get up and walk out I mean I think I handled it well, but holy fuck that was embarrassing.

5 hours later 3675454 Anonymous
>>3674674 >hey guise its okay to be fucking retarded becuz that other guy is a neeeeerd You need to die.

5 hours later 3675498 Anonymous
>Be a month ago >Gf breaks up with me >We try and stay friends >I thought she was cool enough when we started dating, but ended up falling in love with her >fast forward to yesterday >She tells me that she led me on for all but 3 months >Tells me she's decided she isn't attracted to guys as much anymore (she's always been bi) >Full out lesbian

5 hours later 3675532 Anonymous
>>3674309 Goddamn, that's terrible.

5 hours later 3675583 Anonymous
>>3675498 Sounds like a great friend.

5 hours later 3675785 Anonymous
oh man.. sorry I'm on my phone and I can't greentext but here's mine from back in the day >be in school gym at 4am to be on live telivision for a pep assembly >newscaster gathers 9 of us and gives us a line we're gonna say when the camera approaches us >Camera goes through tunnel showing all of the football players and cheerleaders >they're all doing fine, say all of there lines with no problems >all I have to say is "click on the game of the week icon" >camera gets to me, they pass me the mic >g-g-g-go t-to umm c-c-c-click click on g-g-game of icon >cover tears and pass it on >spaghetti everywhere >enough spaghetti to feed Africa My family and friends still make fun of me for it.

5 hours later 3675786 Anonymous
>Been going out with the most gorgeous girl ever for a few weeks >Chilling at the mall, chatting about whatever >She suggests we go back to my place >Me: "I'm not sure we should do that..." >Her: "Why not?" >Me: "Well, my parents don't even know we're... you know... dating..." >Her: "...We're dating?" >We have a long talk about what I thought was our relationship >I told her I loved her and blew my metaphoric load prematurely >She told me she needed a while to process this all >She called me a few days later and basically said she never wanted to talk to me again >She goes to the same school as me >Walking in the hall today >See her walking towards me Suddenly the window beside me became incredibly interesting.

5 hours later 3675829 Anonymous
>>3674766 Funniest shit ever!

5 hours later 3675917 Anonymous
>>3675303 >Last year, first day of senior year >Walk into the office with one of my best friends, because he had to pick up the special pass to park in the school's lot. >See a girl I had in 2 of my classes the past 2 years, wave/say hi >Absolutely nothing back. She either didn't hear/see me, or she ignored me. >I try to write it off, end up saying under my breath and to my friend "she just ignored me or something." >He laughs at my awkwardness. Also >Lived in a tight nit neighborhood, where my family knew many of the other families >Would constantly see little kids I knew from these other families and I'd wave hi. >They would either wave back, look at me confused, or turn out to be the wrong person >My friends made fun of me for the last two Also Also >Walking the mall one day alone because I was dragged there by my family and I wanted to slip away >See someone I know far away, wave >Get confused look, as I walk closer I see that it's not who I think it is. >Happens 3 more fucking times in the same day, all with different people and I thought they were all a different friend of mine I started wearing my glasses a lot more after that.

5 hours later 3675937 Anonymous
>working on photoshop in a classroom with computers >finishing up while students start coming into the class >prof eventually arrives and is about to start lesson >get done just as professor begins lesson >blocked in by other students now and would have to squeeze between them and the counter-like desk to leave >decide its best to swing my legs over the desk and slide to open space in the middle of the room >calmly walk out of the room and suddenly realize everyone must be looking at me

5 hours later 3675947 Anonymous (LOL wut.png 266x200 79kB)
>Be in 6th grade >Have to present made up commercial for english >Did the commercial on Legos cause I had no other idea at the time >Teacher calls my group up to present >Begin presentation >Nothing goes right >One kid forgets his lines >Lego creation shatters everywhere >Finish >Room dead silent >Teacher asks what type of commercial it was >Stare at her like a retard >She answers for us like we were retards >Sit down with what was left of my dignity >No one claps for us To me this was one of the most cringing things that ever happened to me. It might not seem to you guys but damn I hate that memory to this day. I have some more cringe stories if you guys want

5 hours later 3675958 Anonymous
>>3672834 I was always sceptical about the idea of 'beta girls'. Then I read this post. I'd find this a massive turn off if I were your bf for some reason.

5 hours later 3675985 Anonymous
>Crush on girl in class >One day she's randomly criticizing people >Makes fun of my sudden vocalization of "Here!" when teacher's doing attendance >laughinggirls.png >Get mad as fuck, obvious look of discontent on my face (I have a slight speech impediment because I'm awks as fuck and I hate it when people mention it) >Always grimace and look mad when I see her because she seemed like a bitch and just the thought of her pissed me off and I can't help but express my feelings >She's now intimidated by me, freezes up/draws herself in when I'm around >Thinking back to that class, she was actually making fun of this one Asian exchange student >Oh well

5 hours later 3675998 Anonymous
>>3675917 Reminded me of an older one of mine >At mall >In a clothing store >See a few girls from my math class enter store >Muster up courage, decide to go and say hi >Walk over and say "Hey" at that volume that you know is just a bit too loud to convey full confidence >One of them ignores me >One looks at me says hi quietly and then walks away >The one that I actually talked to from time to time looks at me for a good 5 seconds and I can actually see her face go from "Do I know this guy?" to "Yeah, I think I recognize him maybe?" to "No, he's probably just some creep. I'll just continue on a- Oh shit it's that fag from my math class!" >She says hi and walks away >Zoom out of store propelled by twin streams of spaghetti rocketing out of my pockets

6 hours later 3676030 Anonymous
>Highschool >Have god-awful eyesight >Have to squint in order to make my vision clearer >Think girl has crush on me because I can tell her head is often tilted in my direction but I can't tell where her eyes are >Squint-glance back at her but she always turns away when I do >Eventually get glasses, able to watch her from the corner of my eye >Turns out she's staring out the window behind me >Learn that she gave me the nickname "Squints McGee" >okay.jpg

6 hours later 3676047 Anonymous
>Walk into math class late >We have those desks that are connected to the chair by a bar on one side >Realize I'd walked on the wrong side of the desk >Think "Fuck this, I'll just hop over the bar like a boss" >Awkwardly shimmy and squeeze my way in between the desk and bar onto my chair >Sense every single eye in the room on me >EVERY. SINGLE. EYE. Sometimes the smallest thing are the worst.

6 hours later 3676112 Anonymous
>>3675958 Not even trying to white knight the cunt, but I'd find that beta girl-ness a turn on, because then me, somewhat of a beta, can actually act alpha compared to my girl. Also, no chance of cheating.

6 hours later 3676266 Anonymous
>>3675958 are you kidding id find that a turn on, its endearing watching a girl fuck up so catastrophically, id just want to hold her while she weeps

6 hours later 3676299 Anonymous
>>3676112 > beta girl-ness >no chance of cheating. I find that hard to believe. Less likely to cheat, perhaps, but saying no chance is absurd. If anything, the low-self esteem and the need for validation may make her more likely to cheat. But thats just a maybe. My ex was, although in many ways wonderful, very shy and socially awkward, and basically I suppose what can be called 'beta'. It's what eventually lead up to me losing my attraction to her. I really do prefer girls with stronger, dominant (in relation to other females) personalities. Someone who wont be a pushover and someone who I can rough around a little bit. Someone who'll give me a hard time, in a fun way, every once in a while and will be able to cope with me giving her a hard time. Even the above ex knew this, when she said "You really need like a ghetto girlfriend" or something to that affect. It made me lol but its true. Fuck knows where Id find one like that though.

6 hours later 3676301 Anonymous
>>3676112 >>3676266 hivemind? nah it was inevitable

6 hours later 3676348 Anonymous
>>3676266 I used to be like that. I still LOVE cute girls, but cute as in petite, big eyes, innocent looking, cute little laugh/giggle and an excitable/perky personality, for example. But not some socially awkward wreck that cant even place a fucking food order.

6 hours later 3676397 Anonymous
>Be at a dance team in high school >Have no sleep due to homework and other club activities >Forgot we have to perform at basketball practice later that night >Practice all afternoon after school, be real tired. >Be our turn to perform, please don't mess up, please don't mess up. >lolnope.jpg >Completely forgot the changes made, do the original routine, move to the other side of the court, everyone else goes to the opposite side >Oh god what to do what to do >do the moves by myself, hear laughter in the stands >try my best to smile back, big fat tear rolls down my cheek >break down after exiting court >have to perform again an hour later for a different game. I broke down afterwards, everyone stood awkwardly in a circle around me. Oh god, i still cringe every tiem I think of it ;_;

6 hours later 3676435 Anonymous
>In an "advanced" english class freshman year so assignments slightly harder. >Have to recite a few pages from romeo and juliet >I stutter as soon as i get up super nervous >I forget most of my lines and my teacher forces me to stay up and remember them even when i say i'm done >I take so long she gives all the class tests and no one in the class is looking at me or even laughing as they probably felt so bad for me >Finally finish after 30 minutes holding tears back >The teacher says good job and the class starts clapping but it was the worst ive seen for anyone >She ends up giving me a D+ Such a sad day for me, she humiliated me, i told her before i went up i get super nervous at these kinds of things and i'd rather fail and not go up but she said i had to.

6 hours later 3676452 Anonymous
>>3676397 Did you suck a lot of dick at your highschool? I knew lots of dance girls who were sluts.

6 hours later 3676503 Anonymous
>>3676452 I was too socially awkward... I wouldn't browse /r9k/ if I was a slut Also, if you see me now, you wouldn't think I danced in high school. too clumsy looking

6 hours later 3676541 Anonymous
>>3676503 Oh ok i was just curious how it works from school to school. Sometimes i forget not all girls are the same.

6 hours later 3676602 Anonymous
>>3672834 >Everything is cooked with onions on one hand, deal with the fucking onions on the other hand...why? It's onions. They give out flavor but they aren't CRUCIAL to mexican cooking when you have seasonings and peppers out the ass

6 hours later 3676631 Anonymous (2012-08-31-Regretfool.jpg 900x301 127kB)
Comic most certainly related. For those of you not familiar with Ronnie Filyaw (or should that be Ronnie FEELya) HAHAHAHAHA , he's basically the embodiment of /r9k/

6 hours later 3676709 Anonymous
>Bro is autismal as fuck and deep in the closet >anytime we mention him being gay he gets SUPER defensive and mentions all the porn he watches and girls he fucks >One day he's talking to a mutual friend who is bi and she makes a crack about him getting his ass rubbed >He says that he doesn't like girls rubbing his ass because he assumes they're interested in giving him anal and are transvestites in disguise >He's dead serious when he says this and anytime it's brought up later in conversation he's incredibly firm about his beliefs He has other stuff, but right now that was killing me

7 hours later 3676736 Anonymous
>>3674296 The others are cringe worthy betas for sure, but honestly can't comprehend this one anon.

7 hours later 3676764 Anonymous
>At college today >Apparently didn't have to go to one class at 10AM, but had a class at 3PM >Didn't know, so I had to stick around for hours >Sat in the library on my laptop >Look around at everyone with their huge groups of friends >Start shaking, having an anxiety attack or something >Feel like I'm going to cry >I think people were staring at me at this point >Instantly pack my shit up and GTFO there in the most brisk walk I feel like a tard.

7 hours later 3677075 Anonymous
>>3675786 Why on earth did you think you were dating her?

7 hours later 3677243 Anonymous (2012-09-05-The-Thin-Green-Line.jpg 900x582 262kB)
>>3676631 Wow this comic is great. Thanks anon.

8 hours later 3677304 Anonymous
>my aunt is doing a yoga class at a church community centre thing >I've been camping and haven't shaved so I look like a seedy creep >Have to pick her up halfway through her class >Go to the admin office of the centre >the little old lady behind the desk drops her phone when I walk in and stares at me >I feel super awkward and start to panic >"uh.. h-hey I n-need t uh could you tell me w-where the yoga class is?" >she continues to give me this long, long 'are you a terrorist or possibly a rapist' stare >silently points to a room >"th-thanks" >open door >I try to pick out my aunt from the crowd, standing there for a good minute >Can't find her >Everyone slowly realises there's an intruder and starts looking at me >Instructor lady yells "What do you want?!" because I've just interrupted her class >My aunt (the only lady who didn't turn around) finally notices me and leaves with me while I stutter like a cunt I genuinely scared the office lady and imposed on everyone and god damn it still makes me cringe thinking about it

8 hours later 3677412 Anonymous (1345430592496.jpg 343x235 37kB)
>be in highschool >decide to try to talk to the girl i was crushing on >approach her after school at her locker >say hey >she stares at me for a good 5 seconds with a worried look >says nothing, turns away and continues packing, glancing back at me >panic and walk away This made me cringe for a few months

8 hours later 3677461 wish to be a cute girl
I would write it all down but I dont want to remember those times. Too tired.

8 hours later 3677514 Anonymous (1335325207806.jpg 1280x720 118kB)
>Be 6th grade >Just moved from another school >Don't know anyone and awkward like you wouldn't believe >School had a pseudo-recess after lunch, where everyone would play in the gym for 10-15 minutes >Quite content to just sit in the bleachers the whole time >Asshole teacher who I never liked decides I need to get some kind of exercise during this time >Forces me to walk back and forth in the bleacher rows, high enough for everyone to see, for the whole 10-15 minutes >Eventually joined by two fellow betas who followed behind me in a V-formation >mfw we did this everyday for the whole year >allthespaghetti.png >mfw I did this for

8 hours later 3677588 Anonymous (1282788006753.jpg 306x320 51kB)
>>3677514 >Be 6th grade again >Take gym class >First year where we were required to change in locker rooms >fuckno.jpeg >Change in bathroom everyday >So afraid of messing up in sports that I never participated >Playing kickball >Ball flying in the air toward me >"Catch it, anon" >Just stand there awkwardly and let it land in front of me >mfw I sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes everyday just to avoid this

8 hours later 3677605 Anonymous
>walking down the hallways in school one January >see the only black kid in the whole state >Talk to myself outloud >Oh hey, black history month is soon >Ashamed Also >Me and my friends been watching bad Asian films >Start talking in broken Engrish >Weeks of this >My Korean friend introduces me to her cute friend >"Oh Herrow" I say >Slapped by her and she walks away >Realize shes Asian >I deserved that

8 hours later 3677644 Anonymous
>be last week >new girl in school sits next to my table >friends tease me about it >she sat by herself in the morning so since I went beta over the summer I had a plan to talk to her >be next day >she is late and come in with friends >grow balls and go talk to her >me: so you're Alyssa right? >her: yeah >best friend out of no where shouts : OH MR BIG SHOT THINKING HE CAN GIVR HER THE D >spaghetti already spewing from the pockets The rest of the comvo is a blur because I was so fucking beta I tell his gf that he wants her to shove her pinky up his ass but he didn't want to tell her Lets just say he shat all over her

8 hours later 3677660 Anonymous
>>3677461 I know that feel anon >Be 2-4 years old >More than a bit dysphoric >Be over at grandpa's house >For whatever reason throw a tantrum >"I'm not a boy, I'm a girl and my name's not Anon, it's Barbara"

8 hours later 3677684 Anonymous
Jesus christ you people have either really bad luck or god damn omege tier.

8 hours later 3677709 Anonymous (1345661827530.jpg 408x208 14kB)
>>3677588 >6th grade once again >Taking music class >Sit next to three girls who constantly asked me questions >"Why are you so quiet, Anon?" >"Why weren't you singing with the rest of us?" >One day, teacher decides to let some girl teach some popular dance at the time >Whole class was required to participate >Nopenopenope.gif >Walk up to teacher before we start >"U-uh, I need t-to go to the bathroom" >"Oh, no problem, Anon" >Sat in there for around 50 minutes >Walk back into class near the end of the period >Whole class is sitting down reading from the book >EVERYONE looks up at me >Teacher hesitantly says "Oh, hi Anon" >Sit back down trying to avoid the stares >Spaghetti leaking everywhere

9 hours later 3677843 Anonymous (whomp buggy.jpg 900x582 197kB)
These are fucking hilarious

9 hours later 3678058 Anonymous
>be 18 on plane for the first time >feeling alpha for no apparent fucking reason >cute stewardess comes by >go into max spaghetti mode >ask her if she wants to go to the bathroom to fuck >I'm still a virgin. Not bad looking but this was obviously lacking in decorum >awkward 6 hour flight is awkward as fuck

9 hours later 3678095 Anonymous (1346698793648.jpg 313x318 103kB)
>>3678058 I'm surprised that you did not get detained or some shit

9 hours later 3678146 Anonymous
>>3678095 Well this was Canada and it was back in 2006 before every offense committed on a plane was considered a potential act of terrorism.

9 hours later 3678274 Anonymous
>be 2nd week Junior year of highschool >in 6 person groups all introduce ourselves to each other and say one interesting fact about self >8/10 blonde chick siting next to me pretty hot starts talking about how she wants to be a chef >My turn...spaghetti pressure building >"I..I..I'm Anon, and I'm lactose intolerant. >group conversation shifts to explosive diarrhea >new nickname was "milkman" >seating chart made that day. sit next to same people >guy who sat behind me that day takes it upon himself to introduce me to new people for the rest of the year. "This is Anon, and he gets explosive diarrhea when he gets milk"

9 hours later 3678375 Anonymous
pretty sure i have this won: >year 9 >have very obvious crush on girl >year 10 >same >year 11 >have an art class with this girl >actually manage to not be a complete beta around her >we develop a rapport, sharing jokes and shit >one day after class >"so... do you have a boyfriend?" >she answers no >"... would you want to go out with me?" >she looks at me incredulously and says you're joking, right >I have no face at this point >she walks off >tell my mates >they can't believe it >by the end of the day everyone knows >don't see her until the next art class >she doesn't sit with me like she had been >try to make eye contact throughout class, fail >approach her after class >"so you didn't really give me an answer last week..." >she doesn't really know what to make of that and just explains that we have nothing in common, have no shared friends or common interests >she finishes with "you're just not boyfriend material" >"oh. well... thanks for being honest with me" >never speak to her again

10 hours later 3678440 Anonymous
>>3678375 >Year X New Zealand or Ausfag?

10 hours later 3678442 Anonymous
>>3678375 >"so you didn't really give me an answer last week..." BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH JESUS

10 hours later 3678448 Anonymous
>>3673825 Some humans aren't worth the 9 dollars of base elements they're made of.

10 hours later 3678454 Anonymous
>>3678440 Aus. she was one of the popular wog girls and i am an ordinary aussie

10 hours later 3678469 Anonymous
>>3674660 >dumb ass faggot can't into dramatic irony

10 hours later 3678472 Anonymous (hejibits008.png 141x146 3kB)
>9th grade, math class >try to be "the funny guy" >joke around with the teacher about math test answers >"Bribery will get you nowhere, Anon!" >everybody laughs >suddenly my brain gets an idea >no brain stop it's a bad idea >please don't brain i'm begging you >brain doesn't listen >"What about murder?" >laughter stops >everybody is staring at me >completely silent >goddammit brain i told you not to do that And round two: >at a restaurant with friends, year or two ago >get up to piss, wash hands, on my way back to table >trip and fall onto a waitress >HEY BUDDY I HAVE AN IDEA >DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT BRAIN IT'S AN AWFUL IDEA AND IF YOU DO IT I'LL BE POSTING ABOUT IT ON 4CHAN IN CRINGE THREADS YEARS FROM NOW >I'M GONNA DO IT >smile at her >"Didn't think I'd be on top of you this early in the evening." >FUCKING BRAIN I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT

10 hours later 3678489 Anonymous
>>3674698 I wish I had never forgiven that fat shit who did to me basically what happened to you. A facade of forgiveness feels just so fucking wrong.

10 hours later 3678505 Anonymous
>going on date with girl I crushed on >going to her youth group >not religious at all >on way home >in car with her >she's driving >stall in the conversation >pass a subway >yell out "DO YOU LIKE SUBWAY?" >she just laughs and laughs and laughs >not with me, but directly at me, with tears in her eyes >never talk to her again

10 hours later 3678506 Anonymous
>>3678472 >"Didn't think I'd be on top of you this early in the evening." Oh jeez, I haven't laughed so hard in so long.

10 hours later 3678510 Anonymous
>>3674698 This feeling is what guys go through each time they ask someone out and get show down hard. Yet we're not given sympathy about it, in fact we're told to buck up and keep going at it. You get the same advice.

10 hours later 3678517 Anonymous
>>3678505 >going to her youth group >not religious at all I know this feel. Goddamn, why do we have to fall for dumb religious bitches, /r9k/?

10 hours later 3678519 Anonymous
>>3678506 Honestly man, I was mortified, from the moment it escaped my mouth I wished it hadn't, but my friends found it hilarious.

10 hours later 3678532 Anonymous
>Be about 14 >My dad brings home a quad he just bought off a friend for me >As I had very little friends a quad I could ride around the yard was the next best thing >He asks me what I think of it, I respond by saying the following. >You gotta have a real boner to ride something like this!! >My dad both laughed and asked wtf is wrong with me at the same time. >I realized what I had just said and the spaghetti fell out of my pockets >He never brought it up again and I realized why nobody ever wanted to talk to me in highschool.

10 hours later 3678534 Anonymous
>First day of community college a few weeks ago >English class >Teacher asks us to think of things related to the college and explain why they're related >Writes them on the board >Teacher calls on me >I was daydreaming while she was talking, didn't hear her >"So I can just say anything?" >"Yes, Anon, anything." >For some reason, blurt out "Okay, dragons, then." >Everyone is confused as fuck, teacher gives me a what-the-fuck-did-you-just-say look >People laughing >Explains to me that it has to be related to the college >Teacher writes it on the board anyway, for some reason >Asks for my explanation as to how dragons are related to our community college >"Well, er, uh, you see, they... uh, had dragons... in other... places... like, schools. Like, uh, Hogwarts, I guess?" >Teacher says it's good enough and we continue >People now walk by me and call me "Dragons" Fuck.

10 hours later 3678548 Nordic
>>3678534 Holy fuck dude that's awesome! 'Dragons' is a sensational nickname.

10 hours later 3678563 Anonymous
>>3678534 Enjoy being a social outcast in college as well.

10 hours later 3678583 Anonymous
>>3678534 That's a stupid ass assignment, you can link anything to college.

10 hours later 3678595 Anonymous
>>3678583 Since when do community colleges offer a quality education?

10 hours later 3678609 Anonymous
>>3674698 Hey anon, I hope you are still there. I feel for you. Feeeeeeel. anyways, I hope life is good. Love you, goodbye

10 hours later 3678626 Anonymous
This happened today >be with friend and his friend who is a girl who I don't really know >she's on one of those swivel chairs >I get on one, roll behind her, and grab on to her chair asking her to pull me along like a train >haha no how about you push me instead >ok >then I slam her straight into a table My mind blanked out so fast I forgot what happened next but I think she ignored me for the rest of the time I was there.

10 hours later 3678677 Anonymous
>Me and girlfriend smoke and watch music videos and Arthur on youtube last night >Funny Arthur screenshot >Paste it into paint >It's not the screen shot >It's some hentai I accidentally copied earlier >Laugh it off, totally red >She thinks it's cute Could be worse, but I've never been caught before. She also knows I look at all types of porns, and is cool with it.

10 hours later 3678688 Anonymous
>11 years old or something >Be at some friend's house >Eat some weird spicy food there >We decide to have a sleepover or whatever I'll sleep in his house >Sleeping >Suddenly I feel some warm liquid in my underwear >I diharreaed the whole bed >I try to clean that shit but it's impossible >I was really nervous as a child so I pissed myself in fear >Didn't know what to do so I woke up my friend and asked him to switch beds >He does, somehow he didn't notice the shit/piss stained bed and just says "it smells funny in here" >I lived really close so I packed my stuff and got the fuck out of there before anyone woke up in the morning >Next week my friend asked me if I shat on his bed but I refused everything >He got grounded because of it

10 hours later 3678695 Anonymous
>>3678534 >Hogwarts My sides, I can't stop laughing.. I love you mate.

10 hours later 3678721 Anonymous
>>3673825 Funny thing is, if you just walked out naked and unplugged it, they would be the gay ones.

10 hours later 3678728 Anonymous
>>3678626 >>then I slam her straight into a table I lol'd. That's hilarious. I love women getting hurt like that.

10 hours later 3678753 Anonymous
>>3678688 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH BOY

10 hours later 3678776 Anonymous
>>3678688 Good god man you are the next JAMES FUCKING BOND >shits in a bed >gets another peson to sleep in bed. >you win in the end... H-how...... That is by far the coolest greentexted story I've ever read in my life.

11 hours later 3678871 Anonymous
>>3678472 Will you pls be my boyfriend? Oh god.

11 hours later 3678882 Anonymous
>at friend's house >9am >hungover >on the verge of throwing up >make my way to the bathroom >friend's grandma is in hallway, directly in front of the door to the bathroom >grandma introduces herself >mumble 'th-thank you' >turn around >walk away >throw up in friend's room fuck, that was a bad day

11 hours later 3678904 Anonymous
>>3678519 I don't think it's hilarious. I think it's BRILLIANT. I'd have handed you my undergarments right then.

11 hours later 3678922 Anonymous
>>3678532 What the fuck did you mean? What the fuck brought you to say this?

11 hours later 3678936 Anonymous
>>3678626 >no do this for me instead >ok >FUCK YOU Well played.

11 hours later 3678959 Anonymous
>>3673905 >>3673632 You people are goddam soft. I was riding around on a kneeboard (a little wobbly, I admit) from the second go. Shit's not hard nigga.

11 hours later 3678974 Anonymous
>>3672834 Definitely made me cringe. However, I really admire you for being an honest femanon with all of us who isn't ashamed to share her betaness. Most of the "beta girls" I see post here are either trolls or make big deals out of nothing to try to belong. +5 internets to you!

11 hours later 3678985 Anonymous
>>3674698 Haha you have hearing aids. Also, why didn't you wear a bra? Come on woman.

11 hours later 3679004 Anonymous
>come over to girl's house >we go into her room and watch a bunch of horror movies >2 movies later we're cuddling >playing footsies with each other >getting really really really closer to each other >we look out the window >guy has been looking at us for i dont know how long >she jumps out of the cuddle >it was her bf >she opens the door for him and he asks why she wasn't answering his calls and he had been waiting forever >she says 'hey this is anon btw' >i just say the most awkward "HEY" in history >guy just sits in the bed with us >now me and the girl are 2 feet apart >nobody's talking >had to finish the rest of the movie like this with no one talking >leave immediately after the movie is over >didn't have time to say good bye >guy was girl's "boyfriend" I mean she dumped him a few days after but MAN that was fucking awkward as hell.

11 hours later 3679071 Anonymous
>Final year in High School >Left keys at home >Expect my mother to get home and unlock the door with her keys, if I take too long >Walking home from school, the long way for just that reason >Weather's hot as tits, today >Similarly aged neighbour and his gaggle of troglodyte siblings are slinking around by the house across the street from mine >Try to avoid eye contact Neighbour is a notoriously pompous cunt. Quick to tarnish whatever was left of my school reputation >Hear one of his goggle-eyed lemmings make a remark about my hair No self-respecting neckbeard would be seen dead without sporting a prodigious pony tail >Shrug it off and direct my eyes towards my house >Mother's car's parked in the driveway, expect my mother to be somewhere nearby lenopeface >Check the back gate for an alternative get-away from their crudely-angled yet prying eyes >Vhat a suprise, the gate's locked, and missing it's key No problem, Anon's got this. Brainblast_Neutron.avi Decide to push myself up and over the gate, using the bin and a section of the neighbour's fence, much like you would if you were trying to keep yourself off of the ground, using only your hands. >I toss my school bag over the gate >Drag the bin over to the section of fencing I planned on using The bin is completely empty, requires no force to push around. (Part one)

11 hours later 3679075 Anonymous
>>3679004 You know she was a slut, right?

11 hours later 3679077 Anonymous
>>3678534 Oh god... you had the perfect out! Should have just said they're related to mythology which I'm sure they teach some at your community college.

11 hours later 3679085 Anonymous
>>3679071 (Part 2) >Lifting off like Apollo 11 >Both legs almost over the gate, all weight on the bin and fence >Shit goes from Apollo 11 to the shuttle Challenger >Bin decides it wants no part in this and begins rolling away from me >Have only one hand to push with "Who dies in youth and vigour, dies the best" >Fall flat from the top of the gate >Right arm ends up under my back >Narrowly avoid landing in the neighbour's cat's most recent turd >Think I'm finally out of the woods >Bit teeters over, misses my head by inches Phew. >Bin's lid drops open on hits me on the nose What a way to top it off. >I stir on the ground, trying to get up with both arms >Right arm is proving unresponsive, Captain. >To avoid losing all dignity, I attempt to slap the faintest sliver of humour into my landing for whoever's watching. "Round two!" >Voice is raspy as all hell >Attracts full attention from small the gathering across the street .

11 hours later 3679090 Anonymous
>>3679085 (Part 3) >Get to my feet and "stroll" to my mother's ever-unlocked car >Neighbours are blasting some Techno-pop bullshit for all the world to hear >Sit inside for the car the next hour, constantly calling my mother to bring her keys >Find a rusted bottle cap stuck in a weave of hair, from the landing Exactly one hour later, after sweating myself into oblivion my mother appears from the bottom of the road >Explain in short what happened "My phone was inside the house, it's not my fault you didn't have your keys" >Boiling hot rage purges the Spaghetti from my veins and I demand to be taken to the hospital After an hour and a half in A and E, the verdict is reached: My fat ass shattered my radius. By the time I'm back in school, the news has spread of my ingenious climbing scheme. Some rumours even hint that I was trying to break into someone's house, had some great fun explaining that to the school's deputy head.

11 hours later 3679107 Anonymous
>>3678517 This has happened to me once. But I was only 15 back then. One youth group and one church meeting around Christmas time. Sorry, that shit isn't for me. >Break off contact

11 hours later 3679118 Anonymous
>be in love with guy over internet >we arrange to meet up because somehow he feels the same >fly out >in airport having mini freakout >text him, he says he's waiting at baggage claim >walk up to him >"uh hi" >we're sitting here talking >i say "hey okay can you stand up so i can finally hug you" >we hug, i've got my arms around him >gotta kiss him its now or never >go to kiss him >he jerks away in surprise and nearly trips over his bag >nearly falls into his seat >oh god what have i done >slide into chair mortified >oh god >why cant i hold all this spaghetti >sit there for 20 minutes after humiliating myself in front of dream guy IT ALL WORKED OUT IN THE END BUT DAMN

11 hours later 3679130 Anonymous
>Be in 8th grade science class. >The day has just started, and I'm opening my trapper keeper. >FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU- >A large cockroach scurries out super fast, begin beating desktop as hard as possible with a ~400 page textbook. >Roach lands on floor and I get up, smash it, and sit back down. >Everyone is staring with wide eyes and teacher asks what the fuck that was about. >Everyone initially thought it was a violently insane outburst. >Shake from adrenaline like Michael J. Fox and sputter a lie about leaving my backpack in my garage last night, and a "big bug" got into it. >Fucking hope that no one recognizes the species. >We didn't have a roach problem at home, it just happens that one got into the kitchen and into my shit. >The little motherfucker just lurked among my notebooks for the night so that he could fuck up my social life even more than I do on my own. >No one ever mentions it, at least in my presence.

11 hours later 3679138 Anonymous
>college speech class >have to give a speech >my subject is violence in films >twelve minute speech on three different films >natural born killers >taxi driver >fargo >give animated speech espousing effective points >be dynamic in my delivery >actively making eye contact with different people >catching all of their attention >the class is riveted >end my speech with a bang >the class, entranced, bursts into applause >almost deafening >ask to take questions >girl compliments my presentation >then points out I had been saying jane fonda instead of jodie foster in reference to taxi driver >realize shes right, and laugh with her about it for a moment >answer a few more questions before sitting down >girls sneaking glances at me here and there Boy, it sure does feel good to be confident and focused. I'm glad I never cared enough about trivialities to let them affect me on any tangible level.

11 hours later 3679147 Anonymous
>walking my two dogs >playing a DS game simultaneously >was difficult as fuck but it was a good game probably, twewy I think >random lady on bike pulls over and starts talking to me >tells me she noticed what I was doing and comments on how weak I look and how I'm very vulnerable >rudest bitch I've ever encountered to say that to my face randomly without an ounce of emotion >my beta reaction automatically responds by telling her I work out from time to time >she says okay, she was just making an observation and leaves >wish every day I could go back, call her a bitch and punch her in her neck

11 hours later 3679159 Anonymous
>>3679147 Well, you probably looked like a jackass doing that. You should be thankful for her concern.

11 hours later 3679179 Anonymous
>>3679147 >wandering around streets staring at an expensive toy >probably some yippy little pomeranian on the leash >any nigger could have grabbed that shit and jetted WAHHHHHHH SOMEONE TOLD ME TO STOP BEING AN EASY TARGET; I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND PUNCH HER IN THE FUCKING NECK

11 hours later 3679181 Anonymous
>be in love with girl over internet >we arrange to meet up because somehow she feels the same >she flies out >in airport having mini freakout >text her, say I'm waiting at baggage claim >walks up to me >"uh hi" >we're sitting here talking >she says "hey okay can you stand up so i can finally hug you" >we hug, i've got my arms around her >she goes to kiss me >like some faggot I jerk away in surprise and nearly trip over my bag >nearly fall into my seat >oh god what have i done >slide into chair mortified >oh god >why cant i hold all this spaghetti >sit there for 20 minutes after humiliating myself in front of dream girl It all worked out in the end, but damn.

11 hours later 3679192 Nordic
>>3679181 >It all worked out in the end, but damn. So why are you still here anon?

11 hours later 3679197 Anonymous
>>3679181 YOU ARE NOT ME, FUCK OFF

11 hours later 3679207 Anonymous
>>3679197 w-wot >>3679181 p-pls calm down

12 hours later 3679257 Anonymous
>be 11 >going to football game >people stand up and shouts stuff out at the players >everything is quiet >stand up and shout out something ridiculously embarrassing >everyone within a 10m radius turns around and looks at me >few people start laughing >didn't bother me at the time but now I cant stop thinking about it >that feel

12 hours later 3679303 Anonymous
>>3672834 >hanging out with bf I stopped reading right there.

12 hours later 3679315 Anonymous
>2nd grade >in lunch line >right in front of me is this girl I like >stare at her in her eyes for like 20 seconds >"WHAT!?" >"Oh, um, that uh, sign over there!" >She walks away 15 years later I still remember that vividly and it's probably been one of the main reason I turned out to be such a fucking failure.

12 hours later 3679366 Anonymous
>>3679118 Flying to the UK to meet a girl that I've been in a internet relationship for a while soon and THIS is my worst nightmare.

12 hours later 3679375 Anonymous
>about 30 minutes ago >browsing /r9k/ >need to fart >itchy ass >stick my finger down on my ass to scratch it >fart on my finger >sniff my finger >smells so fucking rank >cough and gag >collapse >can't help but appreciate my fart

12 hours later 3679390 Anonymous
slipped on a huge pile of wet dog shit while playing sharks and minnows in elementary

12 hours later 3679397 Anonymous
>>3679390 If it makes you feel better the dog that did it is now very likely dead.

12 hours later 3679411 Anonymous
>>3679366 In the end it's okay because even though I spaghetti'd all over him, the rest of our time together was amazing and perfect and at least our first kiss was memorable.

12 hours later 3679429 Anonymous
>>3673362 Not everything in mexican cuisine includes onion

12 hours later 3679432 Anonymous (1345585955894.png 300x400 65kB)
>in class for uni >group work with a pretty cute girl, one of the questions we have to ask each other for class is "Did you date often back in highschool" >I answered sometimes >She said never (and she's pretty cute) >I tell her "Oh, you'll get there" I don't know why I fucking said that. Jesus christ. Thought about it and cringed for a week straight, fuck.

12 hours later 3679458 Anonymous
>be 5th grade >have to present something >extremely fucking shy, hate talking in front of crowds >roll it out(was a huge piece of paper thing) >try to explain it, forget everything in the moment, nothings really making any sense anyway >teacher asking me questions > everyone's looking at me >silence for the longest time >teacher calls it a day >get A anyway still have troubles talking in front of people

12 hours later 3679475 Anonymous
>>3675917 jeez, you need to stop waving, just give them a nod when you're close enough to actually recognize the person.

12 hours later 3679508 Anonymous (mfw.jpg 219x212 21kB)
>go to turn in my scholarship papers for college >never been in the building before >walk up to a woman sitting in a chair looking the other way and say hello, thinking she's a secretary >looks at me like i'm crazy and looks forward again >look where she's looking and go into deer in headlights mode >room is filled with people all listening to a seminar going on >speaker stops talking and everyone looks back >try to say something while holding out my papers and I croak >surf out of the building on spaghetti waves And then I never went back to that place again. Looking over to see a room full of people staring at you is just so...so terrible and not fun hahaha.

12 hours later 3679523 Anonymous
>>3679458 >have to do presentation >prepare like crazy for it >fail miserably >have to do presentation >still not sure what the fuck to do when presenting >it goes marvelously

12 hours later 3679529 Anonymous
>>3679397 thank you anon. worst part is, to try and play it off, i started chasing other kids while laughing my face off. you can bet they ran from the steaming shit stain on my jean shorts.

12 hours later 3679536 Anonymous
>>3672834 Yeah, sorry, I have no respect at all for people like you. Onions are a part of nearly every dish in existence. There's a difference between eating some pickled onions or having fried onions on your burger or whatever, and eating something that contains onions: in the first situation, the onions taste of onions, but in the second, they taste exactly the same as the rest of the dish and are virtually unnoticeable. You don't dislike onions when they're in something like that, you're just a fussy bitch. Stop trying to find shit to complain about and just think about what the food you're eating actually tastes like, rather than what you imagined it would taste like.

13 hours later 3679655 Anonymous
>be in formation >sergeant says "leaning rest position!" >i get ready to do pushups >only person out of like 25 to get down on hands and knees >stand back up, embarrassed, spaghetti is literally flowing everywhere >sergeant says "i was going to let you guys just do 20 push ups, but anon fucked up so you have to do 30! >how i cringe to this day

13 hours later 3679716 Anonymous
Just happened the other night. >At friends' >Hot girl pulls up >Don't recognize her at first, then I do and give her a hug >We are leaving >They are all on the front porch >Shout out that "ow ow owwww" thing >Ended up making eye contact with her >Wasn't trying to hit on her but at least I looked like I had the balls to do so >They look at me weird for a sec, then go back to their convo >Leave hahah it's funny to think about

14 hours later 3679849 Anonymous
>Young child >Probably somewhere around 7 or 8 >Went swimming with my friends who my aunt babysat >Didn't bring a bathing suit, but I had extra clothes in my bag >change >Don't know what to do with my wet clothes >Aunt gets the bright idea to dry my clothes by hanging them in the rolled up car window >We drive away, with my wet clothes flapping in the breeze >We pull up to a boat landing to go fishing >Family friend pulls up with her daughter and two of her daughter's friends >My superman tighty whities in the window >The girls see them >They all laugh >I scramble to roll down the window and hide them >Make eye contact with the daughter >She's just peering into my soul >Avoid eye contact >Hang head in shame >Never speak of it again >OhGodWhy.jpg

14 hours later 3679907 Anonymous
>>3677605 that second one is fucking hilarious

14 hours later 3679919 Anonymous
>>3679508 >Looking over to see a room full of people staring at you is just so...so terrible and not fun hahaha. Dat hahaha. You're cut up inside aren't you?

14 hours later 3679974 Anonymous
>classic underachiever, not unintelligent but way too many issues >very fanatic about one political subject at high school, teacher is very strict but amazingly good, love politics so very interested >he adores my god tier sister because she did amazing in his classes (she always does, don't ask me how we came from the same parents) >at the end of the final year, have an oral exam that everyone dreads because the teacher is so intimidating >really, really want to do well, work my ass of compared to what I usually do but still only manage to rehearse the majority of the text >pray for the best, go in >lets me choose blindly between three subjects three times, choose the worst one every. single. time. >start to feel anxious as fuck, physically shaking, can actually *feel* myself forget things I reread five minutes before >make the dumbest possible mistakes several times >finally over >he tells me I have a C (I think, we give numbers in my country, anywho it was acceptable but not good), relieved although still disappointed with myself, want to leave >suddenly he asks me "did you even study at all?" >immediately choke up, manage to whisper that I did, was just nervous >"your sister was nervous too, but she was brilliant" >burst into treats >cry for a solid two minutes even though best attempts to keep quiet Worst part is that I'm a girl, and he started saying he was sorry but he couldn't do anything about it, made me feel as though he thought I was crying on purpose to get his pity while I was absolutely furious with myself.

14 hours later 3680013 Anonymous (dimples.jpg 559x360 36kB)
>>3679919 Yes. I couldn't bring myself to go back to the building after that so now I have to wait another semester to start classes since I missed it. Feels bad.

15 hours later 3680057 Anonymous
Part 1 >Debate class junior year >All of my debates have been awesome >Get the best partner possible >Extremely over-confident >Think, "this is going to be a peace of cake, my partner is the best researcher in the class, I'll let him do it all" >Partner takes first speech, the one where all you do is read an essay with your points >My job is to rebut the other team's points >I'm not worried, his notes will get me through >Slack off all week >Debate time rolls around >Get up to do my speech >Look down at the notes to rebut a certain point >His notes are written in hieroglyphics >Random shit is highlighted >Can't decipher anything in front of me >Stammer >Face gets beet red >Even my neck and chest are red and splotchy >"Uh. Um. hurr durr derpy derp" >"The point is uh, um wrong because uh" >Be shuffling through the papers frantically to find anything

15 hours later 3680061 Anonymous
>>3680057 Part 2 >I whisper "oh fuck" >Stare at my classmates >try to end my misery by saying thank you >go to sit down >teacher speaks up >"You're doing your two minutes over, Anon." >Areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg >Worst four minutes of my entire life >I'm literally drowning in spaghetti sauce >"Now I know why some people cry up here" >Why the fuck did I just say that? >Stammer some more >Mutter "Oh god this is terrible" >Class and teacher try not to laugh >Finally finish >Apologize to my partner profusely >"It's ok, Anon. Don't worry about it." >We lose the debate by a landslide At the end of the debates, people read some of the notes they took, and explain their vote >Gets to my turn to be talked about >"Umm. Well, you swore. Multiple times. You said 'this is terrible, this is awful' a few times, and you did this weird thing where you rubbed the podium." >Oh god why? I continued to have amazing debates, just because I felt like I needed to prove myself >Teacher and class never let me live it down End of the year rolls around >We have to ask for our grade >A kid gets up, asks for an A, gets it >He was absolute garbage at debating >I get up >Ask for A, mention highlights and good debates >Get a B I refused to take debate my senior year even though my teacher asked me to

15 hours later 3680085 Anonymous
>Some anon posts something about disliking onions >Bitches and whores, etc. HAHAHA oh man, /r9k/. Never change. But really though you guys should calm down

15 hours later 3680122 Anonymous
>Make "friends" with some kids at the new University >One girl, Jess, clearly doesn't like me very much >She's the polar opposite of me, she hates movies and music and she watched reality television, and she's apparently a published author >Very no-nonsense >No sense of humor >I come from a loud, sarcastic, background >My friends and I back home have an Over-the-Top sense of humor >One day I give Jess a mix-CD and I say, "Just listen to a couple of songs before you decide that you don't like music." >She says, "I don't have anything to play this on. >READY THE SPAGHETTI >I say, in a mocking voice, "Just do it for me, would you! The old you would've done it! Remember that?! Where did we go wrong, Jess?!" >She stares at me >"WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHENEVER WE MAKE LOVE?!" >Her friend comes up from behind her, asking what she missed >They both give me a look. I am no longer friends with these two. For better or worse.

15 hours later 3680147 Anonymous
>>3678677 This isn't cringe at all. GTFO, normalfag.

15 hours later 3680170 Anonymous
Check out LAWHF (Losing All Hope Was Freedom) on youtube. He basically conducts cringe experiments, his latest video is asking random people to kiss him, but he does all kinds of spaghetti

15 hours later 3680238 Anonymous (you've all done this.jpg 900x300 145kB)
>>3678472 You're my new favorite person, just saying. One of mine. >Last year, senior year of hs >Go to IHOP with two friends on one of the rare days where we start later in the day than normal >Eating my hashbrowns or something, but accidentally take too big a bite and I'm leaning with my head down over my plate and food hanging out of my mouth, trying to bite it or use the fork to split it >Waitress decides it's a fine time to come >"Can I take away anyone's dishes?" >I have one I wasn't eating from, and she picked it up >Wanted to say thank you, but I'm still leaning over my plate with food hanging out of my mouth >Thumbs up! >She walks away, friends start laughing >They still hold this over me.

16 hours later 3680367 Anonymous
Dear r9k Op here and i have a problem. Cant greentext due to silly school computer. Be now Come in to class Sit down and be OP Mess up seating charts. Everyone is looking at me, judging me. Awkwardly walk to my original seat. Every1 Gazing at me with a rude stare. Be OP and write this post Rate my issue with being socially Awkward /r9k/ thanks

16 hours later 3680441 BlackguyBlackBlanket
I have a couple of stories I can share. >Be in 8th grade >Be clumsy as shit. >walking to the back of math class, because I don't want to be called on >not see someone's back pack in the middle of the wall way >Trip like a big dumb >Scream like a girl >Go tumbling and rolling down the walk way, tumble at least 6-7 times >End up, crashing into coat area, land in such a way that I'm sitting perfectly there like it was planned. >coats all over the everywhere. >Everyone is staring. >WHY DOES THIS STARING BURN? Here's another >8th grade again. >Not a party person >Be at 8th grade late night school party-type-situation >Wall flowering like the cool guy that I am >Guy I know named Canajee(I shit you not, that's his name) and his gf come up to me, ask me why I'm not dancing. >Barely about to mumble out a lie. >Canajee, starts talking shit. Normal fat guy and You will be alone forever/no one likes you enough to dance jokes ensue. >His gf for reasons still unknown to this day, grabs my hand, yanks me on the dance floor. >Okay.jpeg >Stammering like a basket case about how I don't want to dance. >She is now grinding on me >Idon'tknowwhat'shappening >A crowd is forming. Chanting "GO GO GO GO" >Heart is pounding, I have never wanted to leave more in my life. Awkwardly trying to not touch her. >Just standing there, letting this happen >Canajee is just glaring. Hard. He wants to hit me, I can feel it. >Crowd dissipates, They feel my awkwardness >She stops, smiles, says that was fun >"Th-thanks.. you too" >I just kind of run out and wait in the parking lot until my mom comes.

16 hours later 3680494 Anonymous
>>3675785 oh boy...im sorry

16 hours later 3680503 Anonymous
well if we're doing one of these I may as well take the opportunity to spam my shitty youtube channel, although most of you have probably seen most of these videos already http://www.youtube.com/user/spagettysentral

17 hours later 3680578 Anonymous
>>3674652 Lost my shit at this, thanks for the post. I've never had a pet so I can't empathise with you even remotely.

17 hours later 3680631 Anonymous
>be senior >walking to hall >close to PE staff room >See hot pe teacher >wearing baggy shorts so can't see her perfect ass >motion to my friends at her and say "dat ass" >"nah you can't see anything anon" >"Check out her thighs man, that-...." >She turns around >Just stare at each other for what feels like eternity >She turns >Pull behind corner >Friend bursts out laughing >Oh god what the fuck have I done >Friend proceeds to tell all other friends and now everyone says "dat ass"

17 hours later 3680674 Anonymous
>>3678489 Exactly. I spent the rest of the year looking at them and thinking, "I know what you think of me" and just staring at them whenever they smiled at me. All three of them were on the Volleyball team with me. Changing for games was awkward as fuck after that. >>3678985 I DID wear a bra.

17 hours later 3680695 Anonymous
>be on /r9k/

17 hours later 3680698 Anonymous
>>3674622 but that IS fucking ironic, you've gone full retard at this point, the irony is that a spaghetti dropping awkward person said "I like spaghetti" whilst dropping said spaghetti in a social situation, the term "spaghetti" being slang in this online community for socially awkward behavior and embarrassment. Hence the ironical nature of the incident. Actual English major here, bitch DON'T EVEN.

17 hours later 3680705 Anonymous
>>3674660 you know there's like ten different word uses for irony in the dictionary right

17 hours later 3680724 Anonymous
>>3674798 what the fuck man seriously, you now know you can actually NEVER COMPLAIN about tfw no gf right? What am I saying, I'd have done the exact fucking same as you.

17 hours later 3680783 Anonymous
>>3675303 oh god my sides actually hurt so bad, I'm crying with laughter here, fucking amazing story bro. Why is it always when you are out or at someone's place that you get the worst shits, god hates us.

18 hours later 3680899 Anonymous
>>3679655 I'm curious, what brought a spaghetti containment troubled fellow to get into an occupation in the military?

18 hours later 3680931 Anonymous
>first year of high school >join after school computer club >finish class late and rush to the room it's held in >everyone sitting around in a circle >I'm late, this is going to be embarrassing as fuck >go in and sit down trying to be as subtle as possible >everyone turns around and stares at me >wait a second, these people aren't doing computer club.. >teacher looks at me, "Anon, if you're here for computer club it hasn't started yet, could you wait outside please?" >everyone starts laughing as I walk out >they all laugh at me as they leave the class

18 hours later 3680979 Anonymous (1344955280709.jpg 741x308 19kB)
I haven't read a lick of this thread, but here's a pretty cringe story. >Around 15 at the time, lifeless loser who plays video games all day and is considering dropping out of homeschool (lol) >Forced to go to this neighborhood get together with my parents and brother >Girl my age is there >We get introduced to each other in front of everyone >I shake her hand, say "Nice weather", then smile at her as my legs start visibly shaking >Everyone notices >Girls mother says "Hey, you should go sit down, honey" >I sit down and do not get up for the next 2 hours we are there

18 hours later 3681120 Anonymous
be from 2 to 6 years old >Tomboy >Over at anyones house >"Im not a girl! my name's not Anona, Its Anon!!" yeap grew out of it...kinda

18 hours later 3681125 Anonymous
>>3681120 goes to >>3677660

18 hours later 3681126 Anonymous
>>3673493 Holy fuckk 5 dolars

19 hours later 3681136 Anonymous
>>3673207 Something similar happened to me recently. I was going through the pictures on my camera with a friend. Now it has a touch screen. I was trying to show him pictures of a party that he missed. But I swiped the wrong way and he saw a dick pic. It was all cool though because he's gay.

19 hours later 3681196 Anonymous (1333315559440.jpg 400x570 59kB)
>>3672716 >10th grade >substitute teacher in math class >decides its a good idea to show everyone their grades on the overhead isn't there a law pertaining to this? >Come in a week late,missing alot of work,and I only have a 30 percent in the class because of this,even though I came from a different school >He notices my grades and calls me out on it >everyone is fucking staring at me >Substitute is reprimanding me for "not doing my work" >get really fucking nervous,everyone thinks I'm retarded because of my grades >he blows up 35 percent on the overhead so it fills up the projecting space >sub is still yelling at me >start to cry and vomit >run out of class >hear alot of people laughing >get suspended for 2 days for leaving class. I really fucking hated highschool

19 hours later 3681223 Anonymous (83fae389jw1duicf6khn4j.jpg 2004x3000 713kB)
>>3673437 This fucking argument splashed into my poor face. I know this very well. That feel when you fucking realize that your 14yo little bro has better sexual life than you ever will.

19 hours later 3681240 Anonymous
>>3681196 You did shit in a class, you you broke down crying and vomiting? Oh wow. Just wow.

19 hours later 3681252 Anonymous
Normals. The lot of them.

19 hours later 3681256 Anonymous
>>3681240 You don't have any reading comprehension,do you? also,I ended up doing better than anyone else by the end of the semester

19 hours later 3681259 Anonymous (195qhy.jpg 538x640 18kB)
>>3680979 I still do this. I an 21.

19 hours later 3681261 Anonymous
> got a volunteer job this summer, hoped to learn art/business skills and perhaps make way for a job/internship there since I need an internship to graduate > worked there for 3 weeks and then flaked completely and didn't even call and say I wasn't coming any more > avoid the place like the plague Then yesterday > go to internship meeting > talk with the professor > blurt out how hard I dropped my spaghetti > nearly have a panic attack just talking about it > he says I should go in person and apologize and the guy who was running the place should understand I plan to go today oh god I don't want to I wish I had a friend to go with me I'm going to drop so much spaghetti and I hope I don't cry. > had to meet too many new people > resented loss of free time > had terrible allergies from the woodshop > they didnt seem like they really needed me anyways I could have made a networking connection, had a sign I helped make put up in my hometown, painted things, and learned how to carve wood and use rotary tools. I'm a fucking failure. Fuck, how can I do this????

19 hours later 3681271 Anonymous
>>3681196 I'm assuming you're in murrika, and yes, there is a law about that here. "sensitive information" or some bullshit

19 hours later 3681315 Anonymous
>>3678454 >wanting to date a wog >ever The fuck is wrong with you wogs are the scum of the earth

19 hours later 3681343 Anonymous (1341324960234.jpg 276x183 16kB)
>So wait you're a tranny? >... yes, I'm trans. >You mean like Silence of the Lambs? >mfw

20 hours later 3681409 Anonymous
>my whole life is a greentext cringe thread seriously, all my stories are like the ones in this thread.

20 hours later 3681442 Anonymous
>friend calls me >he says it's another friend's birthday today and asks if I want to go with him >I know it's his birthday but also know he's not the kind of person to throw a birthday party >go anyway >when we get there friend wishes happy birthday to his mother >turns out it's also his mother's birthday >I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIS >could just say that i didn't know and wish her a happy birthday but nope >pretend I didn't hear it >she obviously knows I heard it, I was standing right fucking next to them >how can this get any worse >enter friend's room >his grandpa is there >I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIS >he starts asking me questions like where do I live >oh god, I don't know how to talk to elderly people >I'm trying to be polite and answer >friend ignores grandpa completely >guess he's not happy about him visiting either Most awkward birthday party ever

20 hours later 3681465 Anonymous
>residents of our flat are moving because contract is ending and agency wants only students to move in next >autist comes to view room >gets into argument with agency worker about cleanliness of flat (it's actually really clean) >one room is locked because the person who lives there is at work >he accuses agency person of lying about existence of said room >accuses him of trying of being dishonest and dodgy >he eventually agrees to take the cheapest room >tfw feel sorry for whichever two people end up sharing a flat with this autist cape wearer for the next twelve months

20 hours later 3681504 Anonymous
>debate project in class >2 on 2. Me and friend vs two female friends of ours >end up forgetting nearly everything I had researched. Can't do anything right. So many long silences in front of class >class votes on who won. Nothing for us. At all. >feel horrible about that one project ever since But wait this story has a good ending >fast forward couple of months or so. One of the girls I went up against is now my girlfriend >fast forward to now. Still love my qt gf.

20 hours later 3681531 Anonymous
>Get a facebook update from this girl I hooked up with once >"My dad's dead." >Ohwell.jpg >I don my suit and my fedora and away I go to the wake >I get there and it's the typical wake crew, crying widow, sobbing older children, old people thinking about their (near) future death, etc. >I hadn't seen the guy in years, but I kneel and do the fake praying motion, pointing to the motions of the cross, really half-assing it >I think "Good luck with that post-life thing man," and stand. >I start chatting up the girl, who isn't that attractive, but was always generally nice >She mentions how she "hooked up with a bunch of guys" in that room and how hilariously awkward it was >I say, "Well, I'm obviously the hottest guy on that list, so at least there's that." >She agrees >Then, when he's done paying his respects, this guy saunters over and sits next to her >I continue to playfully flirt with her, talking about how we hooked up >mfw the guy was her boyfriend What made it worse was that I bummed a cigarette off of one of the guys there. He passed it to me in front of one of the dead man's daughters. She looked at me with eyes filled with utter hatred and went "really?" in the meanest, most condescending voice she could. At that point I remembered her father died of cancer. We hadn't even left the room he was in before it was handed to me in this girl's face. Faux pas fucking central son.

20 hours later 3681543 Anonymous (1329942225778.png 296x356 60kB)
>>3681531 Whoops. mfw I had no face.

20 hours later 3681597 Anonymous
>Popular guy sitting next to me >Can't remember what I did but he thought it was cool >He said "Nudge me" >I gave him a slight shove >He says "No..." and raises his fist slightly higher >Realize he quite clearly meant fist bump

20 hours later 3681639 Anonymous
>at friend's house with another friend >go to bathroom to pee >for whatever reason I decide not to flush >go back >friend asks me if I flushed >they know I didn't, his room was close enough to the bathroom to hear it >I say no >we go together to the bathroom and he flushes for me like I'm retarded To this day I don't know why I did this. I think my brain just stopped working for a second.

20 hours later 3681671 Anonymous
>>3681597 >Nudge me >Fist pound What the fuck is this new High School nonsense? First it was with swag, then YOLO, then "Nudge Me." I'm 24 and I feel like an old man. Stop it. Get off my fucking lawn.

20 hours later 3681674 Anonymous
>>3676631 He's the embodiment of /a/ actually.

20 hours later 3681678 Anonymous
>>3674309 that feel.it is known, khaleesi

21 hours later 3681739 Anonymous (lql.png 378x498 62kB)
>that feel when thanks to the the new extention thingy I only read stories with replies

22 hours later 3682345 Anonymous
>>3681671 Chill out, I didn't understand it either as you can quite clearly see from my original post. And I don't know why you felt the need to point out your age, I was talking in past tense, for all you know I could be 50.

24 hours later 3683062 Anonymous
>in high school >swimming with class >never been a fan of water; very prone to cold >jump in water >as my head returns from the depths of the pool to the surface people start laughing >"EEEWWWW look at anon's nose!" >realize masses of snot is dripping from my nose >spaghetti starts to drip from my nose as well >memory goes blank here >somehow don't get shit for it >it was probably so embarassing people decided to just drop itt

24 hours later 3683107 Anonymous
>in uni >after a seminar we are told to discuss in small groups >ohboyherewego >group of 5 people sits down, starts to talk >I and another girl are exceptionally quiet >she says "I'm sorry I can't contribute much" >they're all like "that's cool, we understand" >mfw 20 minutes later I'm the only one who hasn't said a single world in the group needless to said I dropped that class

24 hours later 3683184 Anonymous
>>3679475 ...I did it today to some kid I absolutely didn't know, only because I stared at him to see if I recognized his face. I realized I stared a bit long and waved, and when I told my friend, he burst out laughing. I think I need a leash on my greetings.

25 hours later 3683345 Anonymous
>>3681223 >That feel when you fucking realize that your 14yo little bro has better sexual life than you Not even a friendless robot and fucking this is a terrible feel. I know for a fact he's fingered a bunch of chicks, got blown, got a handjob, and fucked at least once (our sisters learned all this from their friends...who he did shit with). He's fucking 14. I'm 19 and a virgin. Jesus.

25 hours later 3683460 Anonymous
>>3683345 Being a lil brother must be so fucking nice. Just watching your older brother fail miserably through life must be the best fucking motivation you can ever get.

25 hours later 3683518 Anonymous
>>3683460 I fucking know. It's gotta taste great, to know that you're already doing better than your older brother. >tfw he also has a bigger dick than me. It's as big flaccid as I am when I'm hard (I saw it when I accidentally walked in on him changing - we share a room)

26 hours later 3684247 Anonymous
>>3675947 Not even the americlaps clapped?

28 hours later 3685172 Anonymous
>>3681671 I graduated high school this year, and I can guarantee that nobody says "nudge me" for a fist bump. Maybe "pound it", but even then, not many people even ask. They just put their fist out, or you daps and then fist bump at the end.

28 hours later 3685211 Anonymous
>play games with a friend >alice in wonderland, that dark morbid version >don't really like it >be really tired >fall half asleep perhaps 10 minutes >he probably noticed, but he's too nice to say anything >never say anything, feel bad about it >cringe whenever a screenshot of AiW Shieeet.

28 hours later 3685392 Anonymous
>10yrs >huge pain in stomach >have to do a group work with a girl i like >she sits right next to me >nervous as fuck >GAS ATTACK MOTHERFUCKER! >start farting silently >farts start to make some noise, cover them by punching the table or making sounds with my chair >girl looks at me, thinks i'm acting weird >try to hold them inside >too much pressure, need to release them >liquid shit starts to drip all over my pants >THE SMELL OH MY GOD THE SMELL >she notices it >she sees the liquid shit in the chair (i was wearing shorts) and pukes >all class staring >she says "anon shitted himself" loudly and then vomits again >i start to cry and run to the bathroom >changed school that year

29 hours later 3685854 Anonymous
>>3685392 >a few months ago >be watching a recent film with Dakota Fanning in it with a bunch of people I live with >comment on how Dakota Fanning is quite cute >silence >get weird looks >one of the girls says "dude, she's like 10" >I point out that she's actually 18 >girl says "Yeah, but not in this film she's not" >say this film is actually quite recent >they google it >turns out it wasn't as recent as I thought >she was 12 or so when the film was made >everyone thinks I'm a pedophile

29 hours later 3685899 Anonymous
>wear my Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt >have to write poetry as an assignment >teacher asks if anybody wants to read it out loud for the class >nobody responds >teacher asks me to read it because I finished writing a while ago >walk down steps to the board >read my poem >some guy yells out "RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ARE FOR FAGGOTS" >everybody is laughing >trip on my flip flop walking up the stairs >break said flip flop

30 hours later 3686397 Anonymous
>>3678146 2006. dont youmean 2001?

30 hours later 3686700 Anonymous
>>3681196 Yes this is against the law and you probably could have gotten the sub fired.

31 hours later 3687084 Anonymous
>freshman year of hs in a new city >try to join drama club to make some friends >go to 1st meeting >as we are all leaving, my shirt catches onto a chair and stretches really far out >my entire ass crack is hanging out >EVERYONE staring at me >quickly fix shirt, speed walk out, never go back to drama club again

31 hours later 3687334 Anonymous
>>3687084 My shirt sleeves are right at doorknob level because Im short. I get my shirt sleeves caught on them all the time and they yank doors shut loudly. My shirt gets caught on chairs, too. Because I'm short. I wear camis under really loose shirts because I wore a button down sweater one day and stood up with it caught on a chair and it ripped the buttons open. I was surprised the buttons were that short. I was happy I had a short under it.

31 hours later 3687349 Anonymous
>>3687334 ugh fuck me. I meant "buttons were that weak." I've been awake too long.

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