4chan archive /mlp/ (index)
2013-01-01 03:10 7006214 Anonymous (Tired.jpg 799x614 77kB)
A burst of green fire consumed the latest scroll to pass across Spike's desk, giving the diminuative dragon a chance to yawn a stretch. "Is that the last one?" he asked, voice full of hope. "Just a few more," assured Twilight Sparkle. She trotted between teetering towers of books, many open. "This multi-part astronomy survey might be absolutely critical for the Princess, I have to be sure she has the full documentation." Spike furrowed his brow, uncertain. "So that means...?" "That means she'll need the appendices too!" A fresh and all-too-heavy pile of scrolls landed in a heap before Spike, inciting a groan. However, before he could protest, he began to cough and sputter. A familiar gout of green fire emerged, and a fresh scroll bearing the Princess's seal landed at his feet. "A reply? So soon?" Twilight hurried over and began to crowd her assistant. "She can't have read my research paper already - what does it say?" "Hold your horses," Spike grumbled as he unfolded the letter. With his best imperious tone, he declared "My faithful student Twilight Sparkle. It feels like so long ago since I sent you away to make some friends in Ponyville, and through your research on the magic of friendship you have answered my challenge a hundred times over. You are an able student and a good friend to many. Now, however, I see that your development is not finished. There remains one more thing you must do - get laid, already!"

15 min later 7006518 Anonymous
Spike frowned before balling up the letter and tossing it to the corner. "What does 'get laid' mean, Twilight?" An unexpected silence followed. "Twilight?" He turned and saw his dearest friend frozen in shock, her face as pale as a ghost. "Twilight, are you okay?" She said nothing. Her eyes remained fixed straight ahead, her mouth hanging open. For once, her books and appendices were forgotten and she sat heavily on the library floor, initiating a minor landslide. When she finally recovered she seemed to suddenly realize Spike was there. "Um... Spike! On second thought astronomy can wait. Now, could you do me a really big favor?" "Anything!" Spike said happily, before becoming suspicious and adding "You're not going to ask me to organize the archive alphabetically again, are you?" "Nooo, no no! I just... need you to go stay with mom and dad for a couple days, is that okay? There's just a few things I need to take care of on my own." Spike groaned again and kicked at the ground. "Can't I stay and help you? How am I supposed to be your number one assistant if I'm not around?" "I promise," said Twilight. "The best way you can assist me is to take a few days off in Canterlot. You can take Peewee with you! I don't think mom and dad have met him yet." "Oh, that's right! Sometimes I forget he's still got so many ponies to meet. This could be fun!" Twilight watched Spike hurry off to pack, her eyes lingering on the door as it closed behind him. That was one little hurdle out of the way. Now for the meat of the problem. She turned and looked back at the letter from Celestia, still crumpled in a ball in the corner. She'd need her friends for this one.

28 min later 7006755 Anonymous
The letter lay smoothed out in the middle of the big library table. All about it, Twilight and her friends looked on in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Dash spoke - "Are you sure this wasn't like, a prank or something?" "Celestia doesn't 'prank'." Twilight was adamant. "And there's no alternative interpretation of the letter. I've looked up 'get laid' in all of the slang and colloquial expression dictionaries in the library, and they all agree - she's talking about having... you know." "Sex," said Rainbow Dash, eliciting a mild squeak out of Fluttershy. She rolled her eyes and continued "She could just be joking." "Have y'thought of writing back?" Applejack gave a shrug. "Y'know, gettin confirmation, just t'be sure?" "I didn't ask for confirmation when she told me to come to Ponyville to make friends, she really meant it, and she was right. If I hadn't trusted her then, I never would have met any of you." Twilight's back stiffened with something approaching resolve. "If Celestia think I need to... get laid, then I have to try!" Dash gave a little giggle at that, but Rarity rested her hoof on Twilight's shoulder with care. "But this is different, dear. No one, not even a Princess can simply *make* you go out there and give up your virtue. It has to be in your own time." "But it's so fun!" Pinkie Pie could barely be contained in her seat any more, bouncing up and down. "This sounds like the best and easiest homework assignment EVER!" Applejack gave Pinkie a stern look which managed to settle her ever so slightly before turning to Twilight. "So ye've never... not even once? What'd they teach ya in that school o yers?" Twilight blushed and stammered out "P-plenty. I know the... the principles, and I've read a lot of-" Dash let out a laugh and slapped the table. "Twilight's a virgin, I should've known! That explains soooo much!" "There's nothing wrong with it," Fluttershy whispered in a voice so quiet even she could hardly hear herself say it.

42 min later 7006989 Anonymous
Rarity removed her hoof and steepled them in front her her on the table. "If you really intend to go through with this, you shall have our full support." Dash was about to interject, but AJ clouted her. "Whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable! That is the most important thing." "Thanks, girls." Twilight blushed and looked away. "I really appreciate it." "So," said Dash, who raised a conspiratorial eyebrow. "Who's the lucky stallion you have in mind? Or mare?" "S-stallion I think," said Twilight. Dash frowned. "I uh... I didn't really have anyone in mi-" "Oooh Oooh! Me!" As if on cue, Pinkie began to wave her hoof in in the air. AJ sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yer not a stallion, Pinkie." "Well no," Pinkie admitted. "But I know lots of stallions! Nice ones and cool ones and big ones and fast ones and small ones and old ones and young ones and blue ones and-" "Don't overwhelm the poor girl!" Rarity exclaimed, throwing a protective hoof in front of Twilight as though to deflect Pinkie's onslaught of booty calls. "Just because the Princess has asked her to explore a physical relationship doesn't mean she shouldn't seek out a *romantic* partner!" Applejack groaned and leaned over the table toward Twilight. "Ah don't see the reason in gettin all bent outta shape over it. It's just a job the Princess asked ya t'do. Ask polite and buy one dinner and Big Macintosh'll take care a ya." There was an audible *poomf* as Fluttershy's wings popped up. Her friends paused and the table went silent as they gawked. Overwhelmed with shame, Fluttershy lowered her wings and sunk deep in her chair. "Sorry!"

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