4chan archive /lit/ (index)
2012-09-23 11:35 3002915 OP (1348069017758.jpg 2560x1600 570kB)
Hey /lit/ I don't know if this is the right place to ask, but I figure aside from /adv/, its the best place. I'm applying for a Film course in a University, and I'm completely stuck on Personal Statement and I was wondering if you guys could help me. My current statement is in the next post. I'm trying to find a way to end it, and see if theres anything to add. Do you think you could help me out here?

0 min later 3002917 OP
On the 2nd of March 2010 at 8:50PM, I decided to go to the shops that were 5 minutes away from my house. Having left my phone at home because it was just a short distance, I decided to cross through the park to make the journey faster. Halfway to the shops, two men came out of the dark and asked for my phone. I told them I did not have it, but they did not believe me. That night I was stabbed nine times and hit over the head with a pistol. My kidney was punctured and I was bleeding to death. When they realized I did not have a phone, they left me for dead in the middle of the park. I woke up in the hospital a day later. That first night in the hospital, reality hit hard. I could have died. I could have died and have nothing to show for my time here. It was that thought, out of everything that had happened to me, that scared me the most. I decided to pursue my dream to become a film director. I changed my career goal from IT to film and moved from London to Manchester to start anew in a Media course. After finishing my Creative Media Productions Course, I had a look at Universities that offered film courses. To my dismay, they all had fees of roughly £20k per year. Unable to even come close to paying that amount, my dream seemed to come to a complete halt, but I didn't give up. I went straight to work to earn enough money to buy my own camera and be a freelance artist. That was until recently, when a friend informed me of a course that was 4 years long, part-time, affordable and that would get me back on the fast-track towards my dream. That course is Film and Media at -----. I believe Television and Films are the best mediums for storytelling. The combination of both sound and vision allows a story to unfold in such a way that is perhaps not as easily achievable in books and literature. I wish to tell stories and imprint my name and mark in the minds of people all around the world, much like my own idols have done in mine.

11 min later 3002946 Anonymous
Never mention a specific institution in your personal statement. It's pretty close to suicide in terms of getting offers. As touching as your personal statement is (if it's true) you want to talk about the subject more than your near-death experience. Talk about why film studies interest you, extra stuff you've done to feed your love of film, specific directors that you enjoy and describe why. Keep the anecdote if you can tie it more closely into your love of film studies, otherwise get rid of it. It is more interesting than what other applicants may put, but very irrelevant in the eyes of people reading it.

16 min later 3002964 OP
>>3002946 Thanks for the reply. The "...my dream. That course is Film and Media at -----." part has the name of the course I am applying to. It's just one course, and the dashes include the name of that course and the university name. The story about me getting stabbed is indeed true. http://www.enfieldindependent.co.uk/news/localnews/5039192.Pymmes_Park_stabbing__residents_say_woman __led_away__by_police/ I'm going to talk about why film studies interest me and whatnot now. The story at the beginning was there to show them how motivated I am, and also to show them how I'm able to write a story, if you know what I mean? Could you stay in this thread and F5 it every now and then? I'll update as soon as I can. Thanks!

25 min later 3002993 Anonymous
Don't you think that whole stabbing thing is a bit melodramatic? It's a bit like >fuck I was nearly dead >pls gimme offer for uni Not to be an ass you know, but I just don't feel it really fits into an application (as tragic and as important that event was) I'd go with something neutral but I ain't no authority on that.

26 min later 3002995 OP
>>3002946 Quick question: Should I end a personal statement with a quote? Or is that too much? So far I've added: "I believe myself to be perfectly attuned to Film because of my passion with photography and music. Having been self-taught since 14, I can play the Piano, Guitar and Violin fluently, and I have been known to have a keen eye for detail when it comes to photography, much like Vince Gilligan and Stanley Kubrick." and "I believe myself to be perfectly attuned to Film because of my passion with photography and music. Having been self-taught since 14, I can play the Piano, Guitar and Violin fluently, and I have been known to have a keen eye for detail when it comes to photography, much like Vince Gilligan and Stanley Kubrick." And I adjusted the last paragraph from my second post to: "Films interest me greatly because I believe Television and Films are the best mediums for storytelling... etc"

27 min later 3003005 OP
>>3002993 I appreciate direct criticism, as it'll allow me to fully improve instead of "Oh yeah, it's good" when it's shit. I understand what you're saying, but one of the main reasons why I put it there is to demonstrate my ability to tell a story and to show them that I am dedicated to this course and having film being my goal, if you know what I mena?

1 hours later 3003203 Anonymous
>>3002995 Yeah it is a good idea, but it needs a better implementation. Ultimately, the personal statement has to focus on why you want to dedicate 3 years of your life studying the subject. The story adds a touch that will interest someone reading it, but you have to make sure you don't use too many words on it that you could use elsewhere. The quote at the beginning is the more overused technique, so at the end isn't as bad. Remember that other people will have likely used the same quote as you if it's a well known one. Yeah, that's a good addition. It shows specific interest in an area directly relating to film studies as well as some extra stuff unis always like to see. I'd suggest picking a director or film you particularly enjoy and perhaps explaining why. It shows analysis, which is always a good think. I'm not sure about the use of "fluently" to apply to instruments, although I can't think of the better word at the moment.

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