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2012-11-10 09:07 15701110 Anonymous (1304100415156.gif 350x263 2930kB)
>Been in unintentional cocoon mode for a few years >All I do is school, gym, work >See that a DJ I like is coming to town >This is my chance to maybe meet some people >Everyone there seems to be with friends or their girlfriend >No one talks to me >Go outside for a cigarette >Everyone is in separate groups, but people from different groups all go up to eachother and seem to know eachother >Try to look approachable >Eventually a guy and girl come up and ask to bum a cig >Give them one and talk for a bit >Have to keep repeating myself because I'm talking too softly even though we're outside >The conversation turns awkward in record time >Realize they're only talking to me because I gave them a cig >Finish mine and tell them it was nice meeting them then go inside continued

3 min later 15701147 Anonymous
This isnt /adv/ Take your aspie bullshit somewhere else

4 min later 15701154 Anonymous
>Go inside and stand by myself >The headliner finally comes on >It's fucking awesome >I get tired from sweating and go to get a bottle of water >The bartender says it's $2 >Have 1 one and 1 twenty in my wallet >Hand her both >She takes it to the register and turns around to look at me like I'm retarded >She asks me why I gave her both instead of giving her just the twenty >Just laugh and say I don't know >Spaghetti levels have gone through the roof >Just take my water and leave I fucking hate myself. How do I make friends, /fit/? I don't even care that much about a girlfriend or a regular lay. I just want people to hang out with and talk to. Would getting a facebook help? I don't know what else to do.

5 min later 15701169 Anonymous
/fit/ isn't your new /adv/ board just because you lift

6 min later 15701178 Anonymous
>>15701147 I just really need some help. /fit/ has always been good with helping me and you guys seem like (at least most of you) have good social lives. I just want to make some friends. Every time I passed an exit on the way home I wanted to run my car into it. I'm at rockbottom and don't know what to do.

7 min later 15701181 Anonymous
>>15701154 Get a close friend, have some shots in your spa before going out, have some cheese platter with awesome biscuits. Actually enjoy life for once but don't over do it.

7 min later 15701190 Anonymous
Fuck people get a dog or a cat.

8 min later 15701196 Anonymous
>>15701178 >and you guys seem like (at least most of you) have good social lives. >/fit/ Are we on the same board? gb2/adv/

8 min later 15701198 Anonymous
>>15701178 whoa man throw that suicide shit out right now or i wont even help you ok?

10 min later 15701223 Anonymous
>>15701178 go and join some sort of club full of people who share the same interests as you a sports club or w/e, for instance you could do kung fu befriend people there, just be nice and funny stop playing video games and watching tv and do interesting things so you have something to talk about with other people

13 min later 15701246 Anonymous
>>15701154 god damnit anon First off, don't take yourself so seriously. If you're so focused on trying to not act like an idiot, you're going to act like an idiot. You cant go around thinking people are out there constantly judging you and how you act. It is unproductive and useless to have a mentality where any action you do may potentially make you look foolish. So fucking what? Realize that everyone shares your very same feelings to some extent and therefore can relate to you on any level.

13 min later 15701248 Anonymous
>>15701181 The hard part isn't getting drunk it's getting a close friend. I have no one. >>15701198 I knew I wasn't going to. Everytime I think that shit I know that someday it will get better. I ended up just going really, really fast since the freeway was pretty much empty. Not to kill myself or anything but to sort of like, feel alive as corny as that sounds.

16 min later 15701304 Anonymous
>>15701246 Sigh, unfortunately this is also my problem. Different guy here.

16 min later 15701311 Anonymous
It's okay op I went out on Halloween to a party by myself where I only knew the host pretty much, and she was busy the whole time cause she knew everyone and what not. I was mingling with people okay but it got awkward as fuck when things didn't go good, some guy came and took his gf away from me cause he got butthurt I guess and I just stayed there like a fool walking around cause I didn't know anyone lol. I had no group of friend/s to fall back to when things got awkward a few times when talking to people(hit on girls lel) but I did meet some people. What my point is it takes practice to be able to go solo and have a good time...shit just doesn't work if you're a newbie, you need to be really confident and outgoing. >tfw I still had sex with the host after the party finished Anyway you just need one Friend to hit up places and you're golden. I'm sure you can make one friend with similar interest

17 min later 15701321 Anonymous
>>15701246 Thanks. You hit the nail on the head because I'm really self conscious. I just don't know how to stop caring so much about what people think. Then that leads me to not want to get into conversations with people because I think I'm going to say or do something stupid or offensive. So even when I do talk to people I don't know what to say because I feel like whatever I say is either going to make them think I'm stupid or is going to be so uninteresting that I bore or annoy them.

18 min later 15701345 Anonymous
The simplest way of putting it is to stop giving any fucks.

21 min later 15701374 Anonymous
>>15701321 Sounds like you got aspergers I would know. . Im on 4chan

23 min later 15701400 Anonymous
>>15701345 But how? How do I gain confidence? How do I feel better about myself. I lay in bed sometimes, trying to go to sleep and I just keep repeating "I hate myself" in my head. I don't even know why. It's like this mantra that keeps repeating and I can't turn off.

26 min later 15701430 Anonymous
>>15701400 I don't know man... As cheesy as it sounds you should look up some books or youtube videos about how to improve confidence or self esteem. I used to be like you and over a few years I changed into a pretty confident person and feels good man. I came to a new city knowing absolutely no people and now have a few good friends, gf etc. I don't exactly know where to start or how to explain it coz I don't even know myself either. but shit will fall into place over time if you just practice. Practice having conversations with people too... like every time you buy something in a shop just have a little 20 second chat, get used to doing this stuff etc, force yourself to talk to them and also try not to think things too much in your head, just live in the moment instead of behind your insecure thoughts etc

27 min later 15701433 Anonymous
>>15701400 gain confidence from the things you're good at. get better at the rest. seeing the progress will make you more confident

27 min later 15701436 Anonymous
Op you need help, and not from 4chan

29 min later 15701461 Anonymous
>>15701400 Getting /fit/ is a good start. Also buy some new clothes that fit you well and that you look good in... if you haven't already. don't have shit like oversized hoodys, old jeans blah blah. get some nice clothes :) look good, feel good Nice hair cut and some product shit in there if you want, none of this "mop" on the head shit that some losers have >my personal opinions, do whatever the fuck you wanna do look good, feel good

34 min later 15701521 Anonymous
>>15701321 Its honestly as hard as you make it out to be. I'm the same fucking way man. I think of myself as an extrovert in an introvert's body. I am painfully aware that if you go up and talk to a girl, she'll most likely reciprocate in conversation, I know that if you interject in a conversation with something that adds to the conversation, they'll probably enjoy the input, and I know that in any given social situation, no matter what you do, it doesn't matter. If the conversation goes nowhere, so what? no ones gonna remember it. But what if the conversation does go somewhere? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by simply going out and talking to people. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Yeah, its totally more comfortable to just stick to yourself and not put yourself in a situation where you feel self conscious. Nothing ever great happens when you never venture outside your comfort zone. I cannot stress enough the importance of learning how to simply say "fuck it" and try something new. We make our habits, then our habits make us. Its up to you to decide what habits are worth keeping

36 min later 15701535 Anonymous
>>15701461 I do wear good clothes. I usually wear a polo or a button down, jeans that fit, and I have a nice short haircut that I put product in. I do take care of myself. And sometimes when I leave for class or work I look in the mirror and think I look great. But then sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel like I'm the ugliest man alive. >>15701430 Thanks. I always try to avoid the self help shit because it just comes off as a sign of weakness to me. I don't know, maybe I'll try that though. And I do the conversation thing as well. I actually just started a new job and I've been trying to make conversation with my coworkers. Sometimes it goes well, but sometimes it feels like I'm boring them or annoying them. And sometimes I just ask them a question about work to sort of get a conversation started. But then I don't know what to talk about besides work with them so it always ends up being about work or school.

38 min later 15701558 Anonymous
read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" you need to learn to become independent before you can truly create fruitful interdependent friendships and relationships

39 min later 15701570 Anonymous
>>15701558 scoob?

41 min later 15701598 Anonymous
>>15701570 I knew one of you would recognize it

46 min later 15701639 Anonymous
>>15701535 >But then I don't know what to talk about besides work with them so it always ends up being about work or school. the best way to change the conversation is to just flat out say something new. Say you watched a hilarious video. How would you go about telling another person about it? You don't just explain it, you tell them your thoughts about it, why it was funny. Become a story teller and colorfully explain to them why it was so awesome and why they should see it. The key to conversation is simply finding a topic and discussing it. You don't need a segway to lead you into it either, you just start off talking about it. Honestly watch stand up comedians and look at how they talk about shit.

52 min later 15701686 Anonymous
>>15701558 I'm not sure if this is serious, but I will still take a look >>15701639 Thanks, bro. You guys have really helped a lot. I feel like when I start seeing some results I will have a little more confidence. I'm going to bed now. Thank you guys for all of your advice and thank you mods for not deleting this thread. I knew /fit/ would be the best place to ask. I love you guys, I really mean it.

59 min later 15701757 Anonymous
>>15701686 the books legit, the first chapters are about developing your own independence and i can imagine it would be a fantastic read for someone like you you can find a free pdf on pirate bay of it too anyways I hope you can find your way to happiness man

1 hours later 15701760 Anonymous
None of you guys are going to bust OP's balls for posting on /fit/ and admitting to smoking? The fuck is wrong with this board.

1 hours later 15701781 Anonymous
When I was feeling this way, I'd organize shit. I bought a basketball and invited a few casuals I'd talked to from the gym out to play. >hey man, I'm trying to get a few people to play some basketball Thursday. You down? >ehh, I haven't played since middle school. I wouldn't be any good. >me neither. It's just for fun. The most people I had out there was 6, but I've played with about 10 total. I'd also post things like "awesome motherfuckin tuesday: beach 1pm, basketball 2pm, gym 3pm; get at me if you want to hang out. Times are negotiable." On facebook, but people would only ask about it in person and only 3 people took advantage of it... which I'm happy about because most people I know are sedentary and wouldn't be very fun to be with in those activities.

1 hours later 15701786 CarlWinslow (how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.jpg 309x500 30kB)
Read this book OP. Usually, people don't go out of their way to talk to people they don't know if they're with a group. You need to initiate the shit. Also, cut yourself a fucking break. It isn't that big of a deal to give people the wrong bills.

1 hours later 15701791 Anonymous
i thought this story would actually be good but it wasn't this isnt /adv/, FUCK. OFF.

1 hours later 15701807 Anonymous
>>15701190 >How to reach Wizard status >by Permavirgins Everywhere

1 hours later 15701809 Anonymous
>>15701781 I should also say I always did these things regardless if somebody contacted me, so I was alone more often than not. It's better than being gloomy inside.

1 hours later 15701832 Anonymous
Work 70 hours labor a week and then you'll feel good about yourself, and everything will seem easy as hell. Above that tier is joining military

1 hours later 15701895 Anonymous
OP man dude you just gotta realize its okay to be yourself man. Like let it all hang out bro. Nobody judges anyone for genuinity, even if you spaghetti and p-please respond a little, because guess what, it means you're vulnerable. People dont jump on the chance to shit on someone who's vulnerable bro. They recognize that and are more comfortable cause they know you're not judging THEM, see? Its like a circle. Everybody is concealing their insecurities and vulnerabilities but that doesnt mean they dont exist. The more comfortable you are with your own, the more people will be comfortable with their own around you man. So it's all good man its like a big wheel of loooooove man. You gotta looove yourself and shit bro. Get with it!

1 hours later 15701939 Anonymous
>>15701110 okay op youre not going to like this but i think this is a good idea >get a fat ugly girlfriend not kidding just think about it. assuming youre not lying you dress well take care of yourself and are relatively fit. should be easy as fuck to get a fat gf. once you find your hamplanet soulmate you have someone to hangout with, she can introduce you to her friends etc etc you can practice socialising. hopefully she realises you are more aesthetic than her and it is worthwhile to keep you around so she will excuse your fucking aspieness. hopefully you can befriend some of her friends before breaking it of with her

1 hours later 15701970 Anonymous
>>15701939 >excuse your aspieness i hate that chicks do this. i want you to call me out when im retarded. HOLD ME TO THE SAME STANDARDS I HOLD MYSELF

1 hours later 15701987 Anonymous (1346021669130.jpg 840x646 96kB)
You aspie fucks

1 hours later 15702020 Anonymous
Op where are you from? I want to be your friend.

1 hours later 15702042 Anonymous
>>15701786 I read this book because my brother wanted to "help" me. You'd have to be a complete social retard from benefiting from this because all of it's common sense. Regardless I am still alone but I don't make a effort to go out or make friends anyways but at least I don't cry about like OP.

1 hours later 15702044 k
Well first off, get off this shitty board and come to superior /o/ where the intelligent people go. Second, self-confidence goes a long way.

1 hours later 15702115 Anonymous
Do you have anything to talk about? Read some fucking books and learn to start conversations.

1 hours later 15702128 Anonymous
>>15701154 >Would getting a facebook help? nigga is you serious? Facebook is like a guide on how to "shoot the shit" with the plebs.

1 hours later 15702149 CandyMan
>>15702044 fuck you and your shitty imported ricer, faggot

1 hours later 15702239 k
>>15702149 You love me and you know it <3

1 hours later 15702250 Anonymous
stop smoking

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