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2021-02-12 06:07 28520852 Anonymous (3c8f5a9a5a09f9369a7443d85e3029be.jpg 600x598 26kB)
>wanted to cash out to my bank >sorry anon we dont accept money from crypto exchanges >wtf.jpg >what to you mean you dont want my money >yes it is company policy >but if I sold a house for 1 million that would be fine? >yes >rageintensivies.webm >you are telling me you dont want 1 million euros because it came from crypto? >yes YOU CANT CASH OUT IS NOT A MEME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

1 min later 28520951 Anonymous (1574521898188.jpg 519x878 67kB)
>>28520852 >mfw opened a swiss account >no questions asked fuck (((them)))

1 min later 28521005 Anonymous
>>28520852 What yuropoor faggot commie shitbox are you living in nigger?

2 min later 28521074 Anonymous
>>28520852 FUNNY MONEY

3 min later 28521131 Anonymous
I know you're memeing. Do online banking. Chime, PayPal, or sofi. Heck transfer to BTC and withdraw it as fiat at an Atm. Also good on you to take profits let me know when you buy back in so I can dump my bags on you xdddd

3 min later 28521146 Anonymous
>>28521005 austria. insane right?

3 min later 28521161 Anonymous
I had to switch banks because my old bank wouldn’t even let me put money in an exchange to begin with

3 min later 28521173 Anonymous
>>28521146 What bank?

3 min later 28521175 Anonymous (1584355106569.png 926x809 62kB)
>>28520852 >He thought virtual monopoly money was real

4 min later 28521206 Anonymous (1560298190907.png 1410x1145 782kB)
>>28520852 why did you think it was a meme dave ramsay warned you

4 min later 28521217 Anonymous
>>28521146 Not really, there hasn't been a single thing done right in that country for a few long years.

4 min later 28521227 Anonymous
>>28520852 Paypal direct to bank transfer.

4 min later 28521257 Anonymous
>>28521173 Erste Bank

4 min later 28521266 Anonymous
>>28521146 Use Bitwala or any kraut type of app banking shit. You have to be retarded to not know this.

5 min later 28521312 Anonymous
You can exchange literally any crypto for fiat on binance.

5 min later 28521334 Anonymous
>>28520852 you don't have to cash out to your bank. also if your bank is not allowing crypto money then it will soon be defaulting on business cause all banks that refuse to deal with crypto will eventually lose all their business.

6 min later 28521413 Anonymous
>>28520852 this is pretty bullish for sand dollars

7 min later 28521532 Anonymous
>>28521146 Exchange your crypto for Euro on Binance, then send it to your bank account via SEPA transfer.

7 min later 28521535 Anonymous
>>28521334 thats excatlly what I told them kek. And I requested a meeting with their manager for next week. Want to listen to this boomers explanation

8 min later 28521649 Anonymous
>>28521535 Based

9 min later 28521732 Anonymous
>>28521532 i think that is still a problem I told them I will sell cryptos and want to transfer it to my account in the range of around 1mil. they said they wont do it. even when I told them I will do it through my lawyer. this is batshit insane tbdesu. never heard of a bank that doesnt want money.

11 min later 28521890 Anonymous
>>28520852 fucking grow up. its 2021. its never been "easy" to remove crypto fucking sell your gains and off yourself you utter retard faggot

14 min later 28522233 Anonymous
>>28521732 Lol they have nothing to say about it, they HAVE to accept SEPA transfer in Euro. Where did you get that money is none of their business.

15 min later 28522379 Anonymous
>>28521732 1 mil eurocucks, you literally flag super hard because you aren't a jewish elite. Erste Bank is a "sparekasse", those are usually not involved in investment products and hate any risk with a passion.

16 min later 28522425 Anonymous
>>28522233 you sure about that? guess I have to talk to my lawyer or taxman. i specifically told that bitch that I dont want to send her fucking crypto I will send them euros (didnt mention sepa tho) and that cunt said no.

17 min later 28522478 Anonymous
>>28520852 >find a home seller who takes crypto >resell home for fiat >deposit to bank account it’s not hard anon

17 min later 28522544 Anonymous
>>28520852 use bisq bro, you should do that anyway

18 min later 28522637 Anonymous
>>28522379 how is it a risk if I send them fucking money I honestly dont get what their problem is

19 min later 28522688 Anonymous
>>28520951 What do i need to open a swiss account? Live there?

19 min later 28522721 Anonymous
>>28521535 based. Pls create a thread after the meating

19 min later 28522735 Anonymous
>>28521732 you are such a tarded shill motherfucker. are you a boomer? or are you just one of those incredibly naive german speakers that are Shocked SHOCKED I SAY that you, random dipshit nobody customer, walks in and says to a GERMAN SPEAKING BANK EMPLOYEE.... >HEY Madel! im depositing a cool million out of Crypocurrency into my student banking account what she hears from some pimply NEET >Hey Madel. Im cashing out my evil, illegally gotten Darkweb Gainz into my no-fee student banking account. are you actually a german speaking native? i doubt it because most of them understand how their own system works. DO NOT offer a speck more information than required. open the appropriate account (you know they wont accept you using your no fee student banking account right? you know they wont let you use your poor person account right? you know that banks are in it to make money right? not to get sued by an overzealous ECB department right?) you are a fucking boomer or zoomer and are retarded and should fuck off

19 min later 28522738 Anonymous
>>28522425 You can just fuck them and find another bank.

21 min later 28522869 Anonymous
>>28522688 was just memeing I havent done that yet. But they have a branch here in vienna (dont remember the name) dont think they will have any problems with getting money

22 min later 28522996 Anonymous
>>28520852 Cant you just transfer it to paypal?

23 min later 28523079 Anonymous (1599369636002.png 400x386 243kB)
>>28520852 >thinking that imaginary internet points are the real money

23 min later 28523116 Anonymous
>>28521334 >cant cash out >cant pay tax >creating the secondary economy for us wtf were they thinking??

24 min later 28523161 Anonymous
>>28522869 yes they do actually >>28522379 what this dude said....you are using a fucking sparkasse with a student or no/low fee account. fucking go to a real bank. i CANT walk into my credit union and deposit 1mill in crypto earnings EITHER. they shit themselves unless they have a SERIOUS business relationship with you. >>28522425 WHY DID YOU EVEN MENTION IT WAS CRYPTO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FUCKING HOLY YOU FUCKING SPASTI

24 min later 28523197 Anonymous
>>28521005 Dude even hsbc in uk declines magic internet money gains

25 min later 28523249 Anonymous
>>28522721 I will >>28522735 31 and I am "wealthy" already. and yes I am arian. >Hey Madel. Im cashing out my evil, illegally gotten Darkweb Gainz into my no-fee student banking account. I told her I will do it through my fucking lawyer and she still said no. >>28522738 I will do that yes but I dont trust shady online banks with that amount of cash idk...

25 min later 28523296 Anonymous
>>28520852 Protip: you can have more than one bank anon. Just open an account with a bank that will take your dirty money.

25 min later 28523322 Anonymous
Muhahaa poor bank. i cashed out over a million without any problems. You gotta need to call them first. If you r germanfag use Fidor bank.

26 min later 28523349 Anonymous
If you MUST cash out into fiat, Go take your business to a smaller local bank that actually needs your money and values you slightly more. I’m sure they’d be willing to work out something nice if you told them you’re looking to offload a ton of crypto into their vaults

26 min later 28523390 Anonymous
>>28523161 >WHY DID YOU EVEN MENTION IT WAS CRYPTO FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FUCKING HOLY YOU FUCKING SPASTI what was I suppose to tell them? "yo bitch you I will send 1 mil to my account but dont worry its all fine" dont want my money to get frozen and deal with all that garbage

26 min later 28523391 Anonymous
>>28521227 >>28521227 >>28521227 >>28521227 >>28521227 >>28521227 >>28521227

27 min later 28523503 Anonymous
>>28523322 looked at fidor before I started this thread. will probably do that.

27 min later 28523509 Anonymous
>>28522233 >Where did you get that money is none of their business t. has never heard of AML

29 min later 28523669 Anonymous
>>28521257 what account number?

29 min later 28523680 Anonymous
>>28522425 >Erlauben Sie mir, einzuzahlen. Andernfalls werden auf Anordnung des führer alle Bankangestellten ausgerottet.

30 min later 28523745 Anonymous
Für die germanfags, Fidor Bank macht keien probleme, man sollte jedoch vorher anrufen. BNP Consors macht auch keine probleme, vorher anrufen bescheid geben sagen das man alles nachweissen kann. Im privatkunden bereich wirkten sie so als wenn jeden tag 10 anrufen die das selbe machen, alá "achso ja ok kein thema". Als spasskassen studenten konto kunde hat man ja schon von anfang an verloren.

31 min later 28523788 Anonymous
>>28523680 kek

31 min later 28523808 Anonymous
>>28523503 i transfered money from Bitpanda to N26 no problem. It was faaaar less tho

32 min later 28523937 Anonymous
>>28520852 Time to open up an account with another bank.

34 min later 28524165 Anonymous
Und dran denken ab 100k€ werden negativ zinsen mit -0.5 fällig. Königsweg: fremddevisen konto und alles in USD auszahlen lassen -> keine negative zinsen.

35 min later 28524286 Anonymous
A local 7/11 and smoke shop now have btc atms. Isn't it just easier to use those M? I havent really looked into them

37 min later 28524473 Anonymous
>>28521535 This fucking cope lmfao. The manager does not give a flying fuck about your bullshit and will only meet you as a form of courtesy. You will be laughed at mercilessly the minute you walk out of there.

39 min later 28524609 Anonymous
>>28523680 Basiert und rotgepilled

40 min later 28524685 Anonymous
>>28524286 >withdrawing EUR1 million from an ATM in a gas station, stuffing it down your pants and walking half a mile down the road to the nearest bank to deposit it in an even more suspicious manner than transferring it from Coinbase Sounds completely safe, can't see any issues there.

40 min later 28524716 Anonymous
>>28520852 so you change bank

40 min later 28524762 Anonymous
>>28521535 based as fuck

42 min later 28524928 Anonymous
>>28524473 >The manager does not give a flying fuck about your bullshit and will only meet you as a form of courtesy. You will be laughed at mercilessly the minute you walk out of there. It’s a Sparkasse in Austria kek. That manager earns 60k tops and half gets taxed kek. That manager should be begging OP to deposit his 1 million into their fucking Sparkasse that only has accounts for Hartz-IV faggots and 1.6k Euro netto wagie cagies.

43 min later 28524988 Anonymous
>>28522637 because they think you got it selling drugs for monero

44 min later 28525105 Anonymous
>>28524685 You dont have to do it all at once, at the same site. What's the rush?

45 min later 28525182 Anonymous
>>28520852 I'll give you 30 cents on the dollar for it.

46 min later 28525298 Anonymous
>>28521175 >he thinks fiat monopoly money is real

46 min later 28525305 Anonymous
Buy silver or gold online with crypto. Sell silver and gold for cash (or just hold pussy) and boom. ez game

47 min later 28525330 Anonymous
>>28521146 Hol dir ein Fidor Bankkonto Brudi

47 min later 28525376 Anonymous
>>28521312 Yes but some banks blocking transfers between crypto trading platforme.

48 min later 28525482 Anonymous
>>28523509 this

50 min later 28525673 Anonymous
>>28524928 The banks literally do not want your money. They have negative yield on large amounts of money and have to hold more reserves. It's probably not even about crypto, banks literally hate money now it's fucking dumb. Welcome to clown world

51 min later 28525791 Anonymous
open a new account with a bank not owned by kikes

51 min later 28525795 Anonymous
>>28520852 Just goto a different bank that wants your business

52 min later 28525872 Anonymous
Just open a different bank account, you're not married to a bank.

53 min later 28525946 Anonymous
>>28521535 >what do you mean your bitstock coin did something? >uhmm no we dont work with that >what do you mean by alternate economy >*farts*

54 min later 28526056 Anonymous
>>28525673 > It's probably not even about crypto i think it is tho I asked her if I sould a house for 1 mil that wouldnt be a problem right and she said yes. dont get it at all but ey someone else will take my money

56 min later 28526243 Anonymous
>>28525673 Nah it’s just Sparkasse boomer that probably just learned how online banking works, let alone what fucking crypto or Bitcoin is. Go to a private bank like Fidor, BNB Paribas, or ING. Sparkasse is own by the government so they only employ incompetent retards that couldn’t make it in the private sector and got filtered out by competent banks like Deutsch, Citi, Credit Suisse etc. I had the same problem with my Sparkasse when I tried to cash out so I called them and told them to close my account and the told the Karen roastie worker there to close my account and if they want their girokarte back to shove it up her ass and hang up on her. Fuck these boomer banks. Just go to your local Sparkasse, literally filled with boomer employees and boomer customers trying to figure how to do an Überweisung when online banking is a thing since the fucking 90’s.

1 hours later 28526509 Anonymous
>>28525105 Even if you deposit the full amount in cash over 5 years it is still incredibly suspicious for someone who doesn't earn anywhere near 1 million EUR. Regular large deposits attract suspicion it doesn't matter how spread out they are or how many sites you use, this stuff is flagged by the system. Unless you save every single ATM receipt to prove that it all came from crypto you will find your account frozen and assets confiscated. Just find a bank that accepts crypto deposits.

1 hours later 28526615 Anonymous
Any US guys have advice on taxes?

1 hours later 28526680 Anonymous
>>28525305 >implying you can buy that much metal without a knock on the door from your local constabulary.

1 hours later 28526828 Anonymous (doubt.png 584x552 794kB)
>>28523249 >arian my ass. you can't even spell right.

1 hours later 28526917 Anonymous
>>28520852 The US is getting fucked so hard with crypto, it is fucking bullshit. Land of the free, no taxation without representation my fucking asshole.

1 hours later 28526958 Anonymous
>>28520852 Go to a new bank then, it's not hard, unless you have literally 1 bank in your country. It costs nothing.

1 hours later 28526989 Anonymous
>>28526615 Pay them or accept future anal devastation

1 hours later 28527033 Anonymous
>>28520852 thats what you get with funny money bud

1 hours later 28527090 Anonymous
>>28526917 Blockfi USDC to Bank of America via ACH transfer took two days it's absolutely getting better.

1 hours later 28527231 Anonymous
>>28520852 Niggerian prince here. I can transfer all dem cryptos for you. Just hand them over to me and I take care of it. No fees, I love to make happy people around me.

1 hours later 28527286 Anonymous (1576462995969.jpg 326x326 13kB)
>>28526828 sorry that you have to project your own insecurities on others fren. I am as white as it gets from the country that literally brought us the greatest man of all times.

1 hours later 28527364 Anonymous
>>28520852 Kek, you are here forever.

1 hours later 28527390 Anonymous
>>28527090 What works today is going to be restricted tomorrow. That seems to be the way the crypto market is going in the US.

1 hours later 28528502 Anonymous
Will I run into trouble in the UK and with mini gains like a few thousands or 10k

1 hours later 28528908 Anonymous
>>28528502 no. noone cares about small amounts. it only gets a little problematic at 10k+ and really interesting around the 100k+ mark if you fuck up there you can get ass raped really fast

1 hours later 28529107 Anonymous
>>28528502 Depends on your bank. I would suggest talking to your bank first and asking if there's anything you can do in advance of transferring your money that can ease the process such as providing receipts or proof of purchase, if any EDD is needed, etc https://bitcourier.co.uk/blog/crypt o-friendly-banks-uk

1 hours later 28529132 Anonymous
>>28528908 what does "fucking up" involve?

1 hours later 28529422 Anonymous
>>28529132 frozen fund pending investingation

1 hours later 28529426 Anonymous
>>28529132 cant prove where the money comes from basically. they will ask a lot of questions. i just handle it through my lawyer if I deal with those amounts a little costly but never had any problems

1 hours later 28529564 Anonymous
>>28529132 Generally they accept variations in price in your account up to a variable about monthly. If you go over that, it flags on the system - whether that be ingoing or outgoing. If it flags on the system they may think you are money laundering.

1 hours later 28529965 Anonymous
Documentation on Binance is super trash, am I going to get fucked? I swapped by now, but I still did some of my early trades there.

1 hours later 28529994 Anonymous (1405394125973.jpg 333x293 56kB)
I work for a private bank in London and lads, if you have 8 figures or high 7 figures then go straight to a private bank, forget your retail bank and their "Premier" service for high net worth individuals. They will make all of your crypto problems disappear >We can't do any proof of income checks pre-Perestroika era so if that Russian oligarch can prove his funds since then were legitimate we can take him as a client. What? He made 99% of his money pre-perestroika? Who cares lmao >Nigerian and Brunei PEPs with clearly laundered public oil money? lmao, so what? >This Chinese guy got a promotion in 2010 which increased his annual income from £10k a year to over £150k? He literally went from call centre worker to global head of a department? Nah, we can account for at least 50% of his money so that it's fine. >Greek guy had 8 million EUR wired to his UK account via Switzerland as a "bonus" from his Greek employers at the height of Greek capital controls when business overseas transfers were limited to 40,000EUR? Sorry didn't hear that >You only paid £300k for a house in Marylebone? A one bedroom flat in Marylebone costs about £4 million but whatever When you have enough money, banks will find plenty of loopholes to get past issues like source of funds and KYC

1 hours later 28530141 Anonymous
>>28523116 Were going to create a layer two nation across existing borders

1 hours later 28530362 Anonymous
I lost a five figure sum of Euros becuase the bank teller got a digit wrong on the SWIFT code and my money went to some other cunt.

1 hours later 28530421 Anonymous
>>28529994 funniest thing I read on /biz/ in a while kek any more?

1 hours later 28530825 Anonymous
>>28530362 you got the money back from the bank? if not, why didn't you sue them

1 hours later 28531038 Anonymous
>>28530825 It wasn't a real bank, it was ran by my local goverment department, and they don't give a fuck.

1 hours later 28531097 Anonymous
>>28530421 here's one client https://www.vanityfair.com/news/201 1/07/prince-jefri-201107 >named his yacht "Tits" with the tenders named "nipple 1" and "nipple 2" >raced Ferraris through the streets of the capital with his brother the Sultan >employed a hareem of former Miss Worlds. A disco ball would descend from the ceiling of their quarters whenever he passed buy, instructing them to dance in case he entered (keep in mind this is a strict Sharia law country where an average person can be stoned to death for kissing in public) >built a huge stadium in the capital and hired Michael Jackson to perform one year for his birthday. Never used the stadium again >literally on trial in Brunei for laundering public money >still accepted as a client Also a Chinese guy who claimed to have made upwards of $10 million breeding racing pigeons

1 hours later 28531231 Anonymous (NINTCHDBPICT000001384309-e1554382190859.jpg 2556x1003 563kB)
>>28531097 footnote: It is believed that Prince Jefri has spent more money than any other human being who has ever lived

1 hours later 28531242 Anonymous
A swede had a thread with the same problem this morning, I think bank wouldn't let him cash out

1 hours later 28531256 Anonymous
>>28531097 >Also a Chinese guy who claimed to have made upwards of $10 million breeding racing pigeons these are the guys posting shrimp farming ideas on /biz/

1 hours later 28531379 Anonymous
>>28525105 Doing that is literally a crime in and of itself. Just get another account with a different bank. Why are you so attached to this one?

1 hours later 28531480 Anonymous (1606679343506.jpg 1302x998 320kB)
>>28520852 >I tried to warn you anon

1 hours later 28531571 Anonymous (1570451002511.jpg 230x219 10kB)
>>28531097 >Also a Chinese guy who claimed to have made upwards of $10 million breeding racing pigeons

1 hours later 28531652 Anonymous
>>28523390 why didn't you just say stonks market?

1 hours later 28531725 Anonymous
>>28520852 get a better bank

2 hours later 28531874 Anonymous
>>28531652 >stonks go back

2 hours later 28531985 Anonymous (1491411555261.jpg 239x250 6kB)
>>28531097 >breeding racing pigeons

2 hours later 28532215 Anonymous
>>28531097 Does your private bank report financial activity of you US clients to the US government? Under FATFCA or whatever its called Also, how would someone go about finding such banks? Would be nice if there are branches in panama/caymen etc

2 hours later 28532228 Anonymous (mrbond.jpg 600x450 67kB)
>>28527286 >I am as white as it gets from the country that literally brought us the greatest man of all times. they just arrested your boy though, better be careful what you say. how far austria has fallen

2 hours later 28532273 Anonymous
>>28531097 This shit is hilarious. Any more to share?

2 hours later 28532332 Anonymous
>>28526056 >listening to a woman Du wirst es nie schaffen

2 hours later 28532393 Anonymous
>>28529965 Open an account in N26 or some online bank. Why bother with your shitty bank?

2 hours later 28532507 Anonymous
>>28522688 A shit ton of money

2 hours later 28532651 Anonymous
>>28532332 thats why I will talk with the manager next week. dont think it will change anything but I want to hear this boomers take.

2 hours later 28532676 Anonymous
>>28520852 Just use cash app,it'll cost more because you have to convert it to BTC then send it to your cash app BTC wallet. Then yo have to sell it and then you can cash out.

2 hours later 28533001 Anonymous
>>28531242 Lol which bank? We have tonnes to chose from so if they don't want my money I'll go somewhere else

2 hours later 28533093 Anonymous
>>28532215 Yes, all financial institutions must report American citizens' assets under FATCA to ensure that they're paying the appropriate taxes on any earnings or risk losing access to the USD which would be suicide for any international bank. If you want to cut down on your tax bill I'd suggest just speaking to a financial advisor. We do have a branch in the Cayman Islands though, yes. Just look for news stories on banks that have been fined for AML breaches and you'll find a couple. >>28532273 We have a team of asset managers dedicated exclusively to Jewish clients. The team is called JEDI (JEwish DIaspora) One guy was cheating on his wife with his maid, he planned on divorcing his wife and running off with his mistress so he wanted to gift his entire net worth to his father, get divorced, and then have it gifted back to him (and to make sure that his wife's lawyers couldn't find anything if they tried searching). Our only issue with doing this was that he might fall out with his father at some point in the future and his father may refuse to give his money back, we took no issue with the illegal concealment of assets

2 hours later 28533148 Anonymous
>>28531097 do you know anything about the Magic Circle Firms? Pretty sure any Private bank will want your business in order to complete a 'shady' wire. They will want a significant cut of investing your money through their bank.

2 hours later 28533214 Anonymous
>>28520852 they are looking for reasons for them to not give you money, simple as

2 hours later 28533301 Anonymous
>>28533093 >We have a team of asset managers dedicated exclusively to Jewish clients. The team is called JEDI (JEwish DIaspora) this cant be real anon holy shit I am dying over here

2 hours later 28533341 Anonymous
>>28521732 you are supposed to cash out in small chunks that drip drip drip 10k this week 10k in other week when you transfer 1 milli they get kike as fuck

2 hours later 28533438 Anonymous
>>28533341 doesnt work like that fren sure one or two 10k transactions would be fine I guess but try to do that 100 times no chance in hell

2 hours later 28533606 Anonymous (panama-papers-400.jpg 400x340 27kB)
>>28533093 was your bank implicated in pic related?

2 hours later 28533815 Anonymous
>>28520852 Relax. Open an account in another bank and transfer the money to that new account.

2 hours later 28533909 Anonymous
>>28520852 Only read the OP but why dont you just open a different bank account? Do you have some weird loyalty to that bank? Anyway, your thread is obviously a meme thread.

2 hours later 28533930 Anonymous
>>28533438 you are most likely right I only cashed out once 4k euros from coinbase (yeah I know I know) and 6k from coinmetro just to test, coinbase did an instant cash-out, coinmetro did a transfer that took a day.

2 hours later 28533990 Anonymous
The facts: AC posted a bat DRC (Dracula) has a bat logo DRC has v2 launching soon DRC’s first “victim” is badger (badger holders can stake for extra APY) Badger is a sushi thing Sushi is an Andre thing Anything Andre touches is a minimum 10 mil mcap. Maybe even 100 mil mcap So… Get in $drc anon!!

2 hours later 28534001 Anonymous
I just heard a Dracula ad on Spotify! It’s following me around! $drc might actually be legit!! 1,000,000 market cap and the guy in the telegram seems to think it should go a lot higher too!

2 hours later 28534068 Anonymous
>>28533909 i will. anons itt talked a lot about fidor will look into that. just thought it was funny that a bank didnt want my money because they are to stupid to roll with the times

2 hours later 28534184 Anonymous
>>28533990 >>28534001 hey bot fren I will use my cash to buy Dracula ticker ($drc) right now fuck cashing out!

2 hours later 28534224 Anonymous
>>28520852 hope u fuckin closed that account

2 hours later 28534232 Anonymous (1597363160035.png 636x627 780kB)
>>28533438 i think what we're generally suggesting is not simply making hefty frequent deposits, but to withdraw occasionally to actually purchase goods/services. obviously it would be difficult to pay your mortgage regularly with crypto since that would amount to quite a few thousand each year, but other "investments" or purchases would be easy-peasy. if you need a new roof, just withdraw 10k and pay the contractor. new couch, just get one. go to a money order place and pay your utilities in cash. not 100% of your withdrawals have to go directly to a bank. the largest limitation with avoiding banks/govt paper trails is that buying something significant, like a house, with crypto would be likely impossible since you would only qualify for a mortgage amount based on your income and identified expenses

2 hours later 28534305 Anonymous
>>28534224 in all honesty I probably will. Never had any issues with them so far but I think they will go down sooner rather than later with a mindset like that

2 hours later 28534653 Anonymous
>>28533606 Having just checked offshoreleaks, yes it seems they were an intermediary of a half dozen or so businesses implicated in the Panama papers >>28533148 I don't know anything about them sorry. Yes they probably will but paying 1% or so on all of your assets is probably worth the peace of mind. >>28533301 If you're investing hundreds of millions with a bank you're going to want a very personal service and that means having dedicated teams who can develop a deep understanding of each culture and their attitudes to money. For example, it may appear suspicious when an Arab client demands you hand over £100,000 in cash to their assistant for their one week stay in London but Arabs have a very strong distrust of credit cards for some reason so it's important you have an Arab-centric team who understand that to ensure smooth service. Also people from countries who have historically been conquered and colonised several times are vehemently opposed to taxation as they have been brought up to think that taxation is just a foreign power stealing your country's resources so don't get to suspicious when the Greek guy spends 2 hours talking about nothing other than how to avoid paying any tax whatsoever etc etc etc

2 hours later 28535059 Anonymous
>>28534232 in addition, quite a few auctions are (or at least were) conducted in person. money due immediately after auction ends. you could simply have a briefcase of money orders with you and buy an undeveloped parcel the same day, though recording the deed would take a few weeks. short of showing up as owner of a 500k developed mcmansion, no govt would give a shit, and the bank wasnt even involved. though currently, most auctions are online only and require either mailed money orders or wire transfers, which would involve a bank.

2 hours later 28535239 Anonymous
>>28534653 this is amazing fren thanks for the insights and giggles

2 hours later 28535347 Anonymous
>>28534232 >>28535059 my cash is legal anon dont think I have to go through all that hassle I just need a bank that accepts my fucking cash

2 hours later 28535422 Anonymous
>>28526989 This desu. I absolutely fucking hate taxes but I fear the IRS more. You can either pay the tax now or pay it later with interest and penalties and possibly criminal charges. If you have a fuck ton to cash out and are crypto rich, hire a tax accountant and make a plan that can best reduce your tax liability.

2 hours later 28535576 Anonymous
>>28535347 well yeah, and your current bank doesn't give a shit since it's derived from crypto. the first couple posts here told you get a new fuckin bank, which should have ended your inquiry. the thread has since evolved.

2 hours later 28535664 Anonymous
>>28535576 true that

2 hours later 28535930 Anonymous
>>28535239 The best part about working there is reading client profiles, learning their source of wealth and getting a million ideas on how to make it myself. Once a Monegasque billionaire requested £500,000 in cash for a one week stay in London, when asked why they needed so much money their shocked response was "that's just how much I spend in an average week". One day that will be me and all of my biz bros when we finally make it

2 hours later 28536024 Anonymous
It isn't the bank's job to determine whether or not your money is legitimate, it is the taxman's job. They need to stay in their lane

2 hours later 28536114 Anonymous
>>28520852 What about transferring into a stablecoin and using that for future purchases with a crypto debit card and such? Isn't that a possibility?

2 hours later 28536217 Anonymous
>>28536024 >It isn't the bank's job to determine whether or not your money is legitimate It is literally their job or they will be fined billions for not performing enforcing strong AML controls https://www.reuters.com/article/us- hsbc-probe-idUSBRE8BA05M20121211

2 hours later 28536304 Anonymous
>>28535930 you could probably make it by simply posting these stories somewhere where you can monetize it this shit is amazing

2 hours later 28536465 Anonymous
>>28535930 >>28536304 seconding this anon. i would buy a book about this and i'm guessing i'm not alone. i guess there's not much money in books but still

2 hours later 28536554 Anonymous
>>28536304 >>28536465 I would also be prosecuted for Data Protection Act and GDPR breaches unfortunately. Still nice to share

2 hours later 28536900 Anonymous (1578653322611.jpg 310x162 10kB)
>>28536554 >I would also be prosecuted for Data Protection Act and GDPR breaches unfortunately. kek no we dont want that to happen guess we have to laugh in our malaysian basket weaving forum. just know it is very much appreciated best posts I have read in a long time maybe do standup or something like that "this is a work of fiction" kind of deal. just want to hear more tbdesu

3 hours later 28538710 Anonymous (1_TRMRMMGLPICT000020438356.jpg 615x490 67kB)
>>28536900 If you ever get the opportunity become an asset manager for a private bank, those guys have the best lives. "no, I can't use Skype very well and I don't want to have to come all the way to London to talk about my money, why don't I just fly you out to my Villa in Monaco for the week and we can talk business there?" Last story Some Arab guy would show up to the bank and withdraw £100k or so every few month, he would take it to a casino in Blackpool with his brothers. If you're not British, Blackpool was one of the main tourist destinations in the UK back in the 1950s but, with the advent of cheap overseas flights, completed died off and lost its entire tourist industry as people started visiting Spain and Greece instead. It is now a desolate, impoverished town which survives on a handful of working class tourists a year. He could gamble in one of London's many elite casinos but no, he takes his £100k to Blackpool, probably betting more than the entire casino is worth and returns on Monday morning to deposit the £2k he has left over. He just can't get enough of riding donkeys on the beach and riding the 100 year old roller coaster. It's quite wholesome

3 hours later 28538969 Anonymous
>>28521146 G’day mate..put another shrimp on the barbie

3 hours later 28539136 Anonymous (1574888400496.jpg 1387x702 91kB)
>>28538710 godspeed anon take care

3 hours later 28539402 Anonymous (1581098143776.jpg 828x616 252kB)
>>28520852 Find a crypto exchange (for example Bitpanda if you live in the EU) that offers a Visa card which allows you to spend your crypto like fiat money. Problem solved.

3 hours later 28539411 Anonymous (photo_2020-11-12_03-48-36.jpg 1024x768 106kB)
>>28538710 most entertainingly funny and insightfully based anon in a long while btw couldn't you just ask around for people's crypto allocations, create a paid tipster type tg and get rich from that? also post portfolio plz

3 hours later 28540226 Anonymous
>>28538710 How do I even find one of these banks do I just google “private bank”?

3 hours later 28540292 Anonymous
>>28520852 >download revolut >call them up and tell them you are cashing out crypto to your account >they let you >problem solved

3 hours later 28540543 Anonymous
Did someone try to cash out with the DKB bank? I am too lazy to open another bank account in Germany, as I already have 3 from different countries and still need to open one in Switzerland...

3 hours later 28540633 Anonymous (1610263159501.webm 648x1440 1710kB)
>>28520852 hahahahhahaha

3 hours later 28540669 Anonymous
>>28540226 Look for wealth management services for HNWI's. High Net Worth Individuals.

3 hours later 28541133 Anonymous
>>28533930 >(yeah I know I know)) I dont get it, that's what I do. What's wrong with that?

3 hours later 28541264 Anonymous
>>28540226 pretty much yeah. Most large retail banks will have a private banking division too but are more stringent on the type of customers they'll take. Coutts is the largest private bank in the UK I believe, they did a major de-risking in the past few years and shed a load of Russian clients as they were considered too high risk. My bank took every single one of them no questions asked lmao. >>28539411 I don't actually have a major crypto portfolio. I'm 60% ETH/BTC and 40% GRT, SNX, ONE, PRQ, REEF. I work in Compliance and make most of my personal investment decisions based on the high risk client investment proposals I have to approve kek

3 hours later 28541715 Anonymous (1611218267735.jpg 500x640 39kB)
>>28526828 KEK

3 hours later 28542101 Anonymous
>>28540633 how

3 hours later 28542119 Anonymous
>>28538969 kek'd one time for the ole reliable

4 hours later 28542696 Anonymous (046657ede3154549514cc754684cdd013f51e7c5ffee9a90fc5cab6ef1d1b1ab.jpg 625x374 76kB)
>>28538710 MOAR also whats your total AUM #of clients avg networth of clients

4 hours later 28542766 Anonymous
>>28539136 Go to gold and silver dot com. Get you 1M of gold paid in bitcoins delivered at any private vault. Sell ingots to get shitty fiat €.

4 hours later 28543541 Anonymous
>>28520852 you know you can have as many bank accounts as you want anon. Just open another non faggot bank

4 hours later 28543544 Anonymous
>>28523390 You are fucking retarded... in the states, and im sure this applies everywhere, anything below 20k in transfer flags your account. this is why people have deposit their funds in small increments throughout multiple accounts throughout multiple institutions. 250k mac per account. fucking rere. prepare to get taxed and fucked out the ass, dude.

4 hours later 28544103 Anonymous (1473219936749.png 746x512 101kB)
>>28541264 Thank you for the posts, fren. Take care! (But post more if you have more time)

4 hours later 28544717 Anonymous (1584268090718.jpg 840x925 82kB)
>>28523669

4 hours later 28544803 Anonymous
>>28542696 AUM is between £100-200bn (I'm not telling you the exact amount), but that's globally not just UK operations. You need to have a minimum of £3 million to invest if you want to be considered as a client so clients range from senior bank staff managing their pensions to oligarchs and sheikhs. >>28544103 Reputation is very important in private banking so, as company policy, we have to treat major celebrities almost like PEPs in the KYC process as it would be pretty bad for the bank if it was revealed that someone akin to Gary Glitter invested with you so I had to review some rather lengthy and excessive reports on a footballer who had a criminal record. His offence? https://www.theguardian.com/footbal l/2007/jan/19/newsstory.sport3 Oligarchs are fine though apparently

4 hours later 28544826 Anonymous
>>28520951 Americans cant open swiss bank account.

4 hours later 28544862 Anonymous
>>28520852 why are you talking to them at any point? you just cash out bro tell the exchange your bank account number and just cash out bro

4 hours later 28545135 Anonymous (cash out.png 1410x1145 564kB)
>>28520852

4 hours later 28545302 Anonymous
>>28544803 im the anon that mentioned magic circle firms. There was a thread a while ago discussing law firms that help people with a huge tax obligation or have shady money they are trying to invest/move around. never really looked into it but as you mentioned many of these firms like private banks wont touch you unless you are $3+mill. i could be wrong

4 hours later 28545577 Anonymous
>>28544862 >account flagged: suspicious activity >unusually large transaction >account frozen >good luck paying rent and buying food for the next 3 months while you prove your funds are legitimate It's like you have never heard of AML

4 hours later 28545815 Anonymous
>>28545302 What is your "shady money" from, anon? Is it just crypto or are you involved in some drug cartel?

4 hours later 28545874 Anonymous
>>28520852 then spend them

4 hours later 28546863 Anonymous
>>28541133 cuckbase has larger withdrawal fees, that's why I switched to coinmetro. Although cuckbase pro has decent fees mor ein line with the tyoical exchange

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