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2021-02-01 08:21 27392326 Anonymous Just got let out. I think I'm rich... maybe (Bitcoin-Jail-1.jpg 1000x612 141kB)
Hey guys, It's been a long time. I was just released on parole after a 7 year hiatus in adult summer camp for participating in an open market. I've been thinking about this the whole time I was sitting there, wasting away. Now I live in a shack with my parents as a full grown man and can't be out after 8pm. My life has actually been hell. I feel like nothing and I have nothing, but I still have access to my old wallet which has about 148 btc in it back from when 1 coin costed less than 200. I just looked, it's worth about 5 million usd right now, but how in the fuck do I spend it? They have to know the wallet exists. I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching the wallet address in some automated way. The moment I move anything, they'll watch much closer. My roughly cobbled together plan so far was to open a new hot wallet with a vpn that does dex without id verification. Exchange that for a privacy coin, like monero, send that to another hot wallet, exchange it back for btc, Cool, now my wallet shouldn't be trackable, right? I mean, unless they watch the blockchain for that exact amount being moved into a wallet shortly after disappearing from a high profile wallet. Maybe I should only trade a 3rd into btc to offset that? I don't know if that even makes sense. What would I do once the coins are washed? How do I get access to this money without being immediately arrested? Seriously guys, please. I'm in America, and I don't think I'll be able to board any flights for a long time. I have no idea what to do.

2 min later 27392569 Anonymous
>>27392326 drive to mexico

10 min later 27393503 Anonymous
search the term bitcoin tumbler, or mixer. Lot of services do it they take a cut and basically launder it. they take the old coins and there's a bit of a technical process, but you get new ones that aren't linked to eachother on the ledger. Why do you care if they see it though? it's not taxable income until you convert it into paper currency. if they're going to go after you on it it'd be the taxes, which there are none for holding, however you may want to research how they've been locking that down in recent years.

13 min later 27393858 Anonymous
>>27392326 >I just looked, it's worth about 5 million usd right now, but how in the fuck do I spend it? They have to know the wallet exists. I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching the wallet address in some automated way. The moment I move anything, they'll watch much closer. Why the hell are you trying to skirt the law again only to risk getting thrown back in jail, OP? Just sell your BTC thru an exchange and pay your cap gains tax. You'll still be rich, and have nothing to worry about. Jesus.

17 min later 27394409 Anonymous
>>27392326 send bitcoin to exchange -> trade for monero -> send to clean monero address -> send to different exchange (one with no kyc) -> trade for bitcoin -> send to clean bitcoin address. Now to cash out, you'll need to do a p2p trade for cash or metals or something. I would advise only doing small amounts at a time >>27393858 t. glownigger

17 min later 27394423 Anonymous
>>27392326 kekw "adult summer camp"

17 min later 27394427 Anonymous (1610557121441.jpg 960x960 52kB)
>>27392326 Use that VPN to order gold bars online with your washed BTC, less than $10k per txn (not reportable to FinCEN), and have them shipped to some dude(s) you make a deal with (who aren't connected to you and can't point you out) that will sell them around their local PM dealers and give you most of the cash. Repeat whenever cash runs low.

31 min later 27395943 Anonymous
>>27392326 Go monero, never look back.

33 min later 27396242 Anonymous
>>27394409 >t. glownigger Nah, fuck the gov't but the IRS is the one agency you DON'T fuck with...(((they))) are not dumb. Just pay your taxes so you can move out of your parent's shack and live life.

36 min later 27396455 Anonymous
>>27394409 That anon gave you solid advice. You're actually fucking braindead and deserve to go back to jail, ngmi fuckwit

38 min later 27396771 Anonymous
>>27392326 >I want to fuck with the IRS Pay your fucking taxes on it and be a millionaire. How dumb are you?

38 min later 27396801 Anonymous
Did you buy the btc with illegal funds or something? Why care if they are watching it?

39 min later 27396877 Anonymous (dunce pepe.jpg 190x265 7kB)
>>27392569 And be on the run forever? It crossed my mind, but I don't think I'll get past the border. I don't even have a license. >>27393503 My concern is that they know that wallet was used to sell goods outside of their jurisdiction. I think they would have seized the wallet if they had my key. But thank you for the advice about the tumbler. >>27393858 See above: I'm also worried about explaining where the money originally came from on my taxes. Millions of dollars don't just suddenly appear in your account. I'm happy to pay taxes, I'm just scared I'll be arrested when I try to withdraw. That's how the guy that scammed dread pirate roberts was caught, but he was trying to withdraw from a btc atm. >>27394427 This sounds somewhat reasonable, but with many points of failure. I might get killed over that kind of money in gold. I don't really trust or know anyone out here. I'm also worried about a controlled delivery, even if it's at someone else's house. They might narc and set me up if they do that.

40 min later 27397023 Anonymous
>>27392326 Swap to monero and then they're untracable.

42 min later 27397205 Anonymous
>>27396877 then go for the long game, start a small business and laundry the money the old way, withdraw very small chunks at a time tho

42 min later 27397263 Anonymous
>>27392326 hire a tax lawyer sell the btc report it to the government pay taxes. even at 50% tax rate you will have 2 mil left

44 min later 27397419 Anonymous
Actual situation: OP is just a NEET who sold a bunch of drugs on the dark web and is just now finding himself at the hard part and can't figure it out. Nice made up story though. Everyone asks these same questions, nobody has a real answer and those who may aren't talking. The dread forums are loaded with 100 versions of the same question and a bunch of really poor answers that are destined to get you arrested.

45 min later 27397577 Anonymous
>>27396771 >>27396455 I don't mind paying taxes. It's simply a matter of legitimizing the money so it isn't seized. >>27396801 The funds were deposited to my wallet directly from that now taken down website that exchanged things outside the guise of the sanitized market. The coins are directly linked to criminal activity.

47 min later 27397801 Anonymous
>>27397419 this, imagine going from 5+ years in jail to your parents shack and staying there all because you don't want to pay capital gains on 5mil when you have 5 bucks to your name

48 min later 27397936 Anonymous
>>27396242 The IRS isn't going to know shit if you aren't a retard and follow a plan. Cashing amounts < $10k at a time a few times a year and you'll be golden. If you really want to be safe record it as income for some bullshit like a podcast or "digital art", with a fake website with fake viewership numbers, the possibilities are endless. OP's problem isn't the tax it's that he doesn't want to trip fed alarms by cashing it out

48 min later 27397970 Anonymous (st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 600x600 42kB)
>>27397419 Ah yes, because it's more likely I sold something recently than years ago. Regular detective here.

49 min later 27398063 Anonymous (Screenshot_20210201-151052_Robinhood.jpg 1080x2400 348kB)
Dude just buy $CLF calls

50 min later 27398119 Anonymous
OP isnt trying to avoid taxes, he made the btc via darkweb drug trade you absolute morons low iq niggers, so he cant just sell them. also DO NOT use a tumblr/mixer, xmr is your only option. use morphscript.

50 min later 27398143 Anonymous
>>27397205 >>27396877 do this op im doing this, in minecraft of course

50 min later 27398221 Anonymous
>>27397970 What are you even talking about?

51 min later 27398334 Anonymous
>>27398119 These kids don't know about silkroad

53 min later 27398489 Anonymous
>>27398334 What are you implying?

53 min later 27398524 Anonymous (brainlets-talk[1].jpg 971x565 88kB)
>>27397970 >>27398221 >pic rel

53 min later 27398531 Anonymous
>>27398221 Imagine being this stupid unironically.

53 min later 27398532 Anonymous
>>27392326 Strategic wealth preservation in Cayman Islands. Take some time. Ponder it.

54 min later 27398627 Anonymous
Send btc to this address. It will the be magically be mailed to you in cash form. 358qrTx7doAVYCs8qfCPUnZ2frjsCsEMsr

54 min later 27398658 Anonymous
>>27392326 Hello dread pirate roberts

54 min later 27398671 Anonymous
>>27392326 CONVERT IT TO MONERO FAGGOT

55 min later 27398717 Anonymous
>>27398531 Answer the question rather than responding with ad hominem attacks if you dont' want to look dumb. Accusing others of being stupid isn't a reply. Go ahead... I'll wait.

55 min later 27398783 Anonymous
>>27398119 Hey, someone with actual advice. Thank you. May I ask why you advise against btc tumbling?

56 min later 27398860 Anonymous
>>27392326 Pretty much what I do with my wallets. Godspeed bro.

57 min later 27398951 Anonymous
Sent this thread to the feds Get fucked criminal nigger scum

59 min later 27399239 Anonymous
>>27398860 Also trade it between a few XMR wallets for good measure. 3-5 is good anything else is overkill. Supposedly the FEDs have an app that let them break single XMR transfers but when you go 3+ it kills this. Probs is just BS but you should play safe anyhow.

59 min later 27399284 Anonymous
>>27398783 because tumbling doesn't actually work it just increases the amount of tx by a lot in the hopes of obsfucating the source but the ledger betrays you in the end all units of bitcoin can be traced down to its inception "tumbling" ain't gonna do shit Monero (XMR) is the only way, thats why the Darknet Markets only use XMR fuck bitcoin, unusable glowing piece of shit

59 min later 27399298 Anonymous
>>27392326 Some actual advice, GET A FUCKING LAWYER. Tell your parents to pay for that shit and that you'll pay them back with interest.

1 hours later 27399324 Anonymous
>>27392326 Anon with this kind of money involved, don't take your advice from fucking 4chan. Find an attorney who specializes in financial crimes and tax law, and meet with him in private. Anything you say to him is privileged and can't be subpoena'd. He can look at your situtation and tell you if there is a legal way to do what you're looking to do.

1 hours later 27399444 Anonymous
>>27392326 don't touch it. they're watching it closely.

1 hours later 27399447 Anonymous
>>27398951 selling drugs online is a public service, anon. no violence, quality products, and takes money out of the pockets of your local street gangs and ayylmao weed guys that you met in your college dorm

1 hours later 27399456 Anonymous
>>27398717 You are genuinely retarded. No one is going to take the time to explain this to you. You aren't worth dignifying with a real answer. >>27398532 I'm interested, but not sure how I'd get there. >>27398334 It sure seems that way. >>27398658 Man, that guy has a double life sentence. They made an example out of him. >>27398717 Just thought I'd remind you how stupid you are one more time.

1 hours later 27399659 Anonymous
>>27396877 Why do you think they know your wallet? if I'm not mistaken proceeds of ill-gotten gains can be confiscated. If I was you I'd convert to multiple monero wallets not just one

1 hours later 27399871 Anonymous
dopamine running low

1 hours later 27399876 Anonymous
>>27392326 > i have 7 years practice sucking dick and taking it up the ass op is faggot and larp if they knew about your coins why would they not they them from you or force you to hand over your keys?

1 hours later 27400030 Anonymous
literally just get a lawyer fucking neek

1 hours later 27400195 Anonymous
>>27392326 buy amazon gift cards

1 hours later 27400212 Anonymous
become a twitch streamer and have a dogecoin address for donations - send yourself a bunch of doge - ????? - profit

1 hours later 27400283 Anonymous
>>27396455 >Back to jail That post wasn't made by OP, go eat some paint chips and settle down

1 hours later 27400304 Anonymous
>has $5m being a degenerate >begs for free advice without offering anything >cucks line up to give it >same cucks are probably buttcoin holders and are helping op dump on them many such cases. sad!

1 hours later 27400398 Anonymous
Send me the BTC. I cash out and send you 80% of the money.

1 hours later 27400438 Anonymous
>>27398783 tumblr/mixer services are just outdated, like using tor + vpn on windows. the feds have stepped up their game, this is what people did back in 2016. they have all kinds of tools to trace you now. if they are watching your address you're fucked i fear,

1 hours later 27400815 Anonymous
>>27392326 Go on craigslist. Rent a room in someone's house using a throwaway email you generated at a public library with no trace of your identity. Give a fake name to the renter. Tell them you are arriving at a certain date but some amazon packages might show up before you get there. Wash bitcoin to xmr and back. Use bitcoin to buy gold on gold selling websites. Have it delivered to the new place. Do this to like 10 new places. Like literally every small room for rent nearby on craigslist. Use a different name for each. Pay for next day shipping so the feds dont have time to organize a stakeout of 10 houses. Walk up to the doorstep, grab the gold, leave, and never go back. Sell the gold anonymously to random dealers for cash.

1 hours later 27401021 Anonymous (1611117714912.gif 600x627 838kB)
but biz wasn't around 7 years ago… explain that Mr prison man!

1 hours later 27401198 Anonymous
not legal advice --------------------- > multi-layer VPN > Coffee shop/library -> Tor -> VPN (paid with monero) > chinese exchanges, fake ids, convert to monero, only one btc at the time for each fake id.

1 hours later 27401471 Anonymous
>>27401198 This could be improved. btw there is no perfect opsec, you'll have to do a lot of learning and research

1 hours later 27401532 Papa Smurf
>>27392326 I didn't read any of this but I'm going to assume you're looking for a genuine dex, not a cex pretending to be a dex. I 100% recommend AtomicDex. Komodo developed, one of the first true dex. If you're interested in XMR you can probably trade a small quantity of BTC for [n] XMR. Then after a long period of time, move XMR to XMR wallet for added security, then flip !=[n] XMR back to a SMALL sum of BTC and cash out via your fiat/crypto on-ramp. Provided the sum is small, it can hit your bank with no questions asked. Rinse and repeat. Do you like THE SMURFS?

1 hours later 27401605 Anonymous
>>27401198 + kali and mac spoof

1 hours later 27401793 Anonymous
>>27401605 I'd use Tails booted from USB

1 hours later 27401898 Anonymous
>>27401198 >Coffee shop Easy for Feds to bust Ross and grab his laptop before he could lock it. Go mobile inside a locked car and leech of coffee shops WiFi, that way you'll have time to SHUT IT DOWN if you get busted

1 hours later 27401946 Anonymous
>>27392326 If you are doing something illegal my first advice is don't post it online especially on the feds' favorite honeypot

1 hours later 27402029 Anonymous
>>27401898 a stolen car, preferably.

1 hours later 27402132 Hamzah Alosaimi20
i bought this shitty tokens in april 2020 and sold in june kek it's a chink shit boi, let it go "mUh ETH killers" check your narratives fuckboy follow poolz, that’s all I can advise you if you are not a tard

1 hours later 27402170 Anonymous
>>27401946 Those are the tor forums, we're like, the third favourite fed honeypot.

1 hours later 27402531 Anonymous
>>27400438 Thank you, I appreciate your advice >>27400815 I like everything about this but the fake name part. For one, a condition of my parole is that I can't leave my parent's place. Second, don't rental place always do a background check? Won't they want to see my id? >>27401021 1. Yes it was, biz was added to this site in 2013. 2. biz existing has nothing to do with anything in this thread. >>27401198 Thank you, but fake id's aren't something I can just easily acquire. If I can make that part happen, this is probably the route I will take. >>27400212 Dude, I don't know the first thing about streaming, but I'll look into this suggestion. >>27399659 >>27399876 You can't legally be compelled to release information regarding a password unless it is related to terrorism. I am concerned about confiscation. >>27400030 I have been researching how, but I'm not really sure who to talk to, or if trying to approach it legally may result in losing everything. I also have no way to pay legal fees unless I win.

1 hours later 27402585 Anonymous
>>27392326 How can you wait 7 years and then not be prepared to wait a little longer? Do absolutely nothing Also, to any feds reading. There's absolutely nothing illegal about telling someone not to do something illegal Also, nice LARP, OP

1 hours later 27402675 Anonymous
>>27392326 >>27396877 >>27397205 If I were you anon I'd tumble the btc on chain however you see fit asap. end result should be having it into multiple wallets on multiple chains, and in multiple tokens (eth, btc, xmr, and probably some defi shitcoins like aave/snx). i'd probably go 150-350k chunks. that way you'll have the original amount super spread out so that it's not easily linked back to the known wallet (and have some that you hold FOREVER). once you do that do what >>27397205 said. pick one of your new wallet addresses and work on it a little at a time. i'd probably tumble the funds one last time from the new wallet into smaller "burner" wallets prior to "spending" them to yourself. you should be able to establish a legit income within about a year, and then only "make" what you need for irs audited shit. hold the rest for long enough and you might be able to legally get out of the country if you hodl long enough. gl fren

1 hours later 27402776 Anonymous
>>27392326 > I have 5 million USD > let's ask 4chan said no one ever also sage

1 hours later 27403055 Anonymous
>>27398671 this they can't prove u still have access to the BTC wallet, after it's in and out of Monero the trail is cold (which is why Monero is banned from most exchanges)

1 hours later 27403147 Anonymous
>>27401898 actually great advice though. >>27401793 >>27401605 I'm using a flash booted Qubes OS. The only reason I chose this was by recommendation of Snowden. >>27401946 I am quite sure that these posts can't be traced back to me, but I hear where you're coming from. >>27402132 Are you lost?

1 hours later 27403604 Anonymous
>>27400815 You really want hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of gold sitting on a doorstep? Sounds like a package thief's dream. Also it's funny to me these PM dealers will just accept BTC and send it to any random address, no checks at all? >Tell them you are arriving at a certain date but some amazon packages might show up before you get there. If I was a renter that would probably be an immediate red flag lol. >"This guy doesn't live here but for reason is having 'packages' sent here....hmm..."

1 hours later 27403745 Anonymous
>>27403604 *some reason

1 hours later 27404518 Anonymous
>inb4 larping The only real advice is to find a lawyer, probably not your everyday lawyer, but the kind you meet on Better Call Saul. Only a person with that type of knowledge can really get you where you want to be. Personally if you want to handle it on your own the only thing I would think you can do is trade those for monero somehow and then disappear any evidence you had access to that wallet. Obvious max OPsec while you do it.

1 hours later 27405069 Anonymous (1606319039317.jpg 1280x720 91kB)
>>27393858 >Just cash out 5M in proceeds from crime into the legacy financial system Can't tell if retarded of jew

1 hours later 27405413 Anonymous
>>27392326 Honestly, start with a lawyer. He/she is gonna start you off in the right direction and keep your ass safe. Don’t wanna do time back in there do ya?

1 hours later 27405808 Anonymous
>>27405413 Best advice in the thread. Find a lawyer specializing in finance/tax law that will do a pro bono consultation with the promise of payment when you start legally cashing the bitcoin out. Of course there is the possibility that you cannot ever legally cash out the proceeds of crime, but you should at least assess you options before going down the schizo-tier opsec rabbit hole.

1 hours later 27405836 Anonymous
>>27405069 Before it was made clear OP’s source of BTC was a site that rhymes w Milk Load. Kindly piss off.

1 hours later 27406016 Anonymous
>>27405836 So the answer is retarded then.

2 hours later 27406282 Anonymous
- find a bitcoin atm near you and cash out small amounts at a time - sell over-the-counter to someone - convert to stablecoins and get a crypto debit card. this might be tougher because you can still be tracked this way. as for where to swap, use something like atomic dex. it's trustless, so you can't get your coins seized or get ripped off.

2 hours later 27406284 Anonymous
I don't really have any advice, but I am curious if anyone in this thread can answer this, are the gains of an investment fair game for the government to seize if the initial investment is linked to illegal activity? I am assuming yes, but at the same time, all of that additional money was gained in a semi-legal manner.

2 hours later 27406620 Anonymous
>>27392326 Why don't you just sell it and pay taxes on it? Are you seriously contemplating committing another crime that will get you sent to prison after just getting out?

2 hours later 27407042 Anonymous (CIA glownigger.jpg 768x1024 35kB)
t.

2 hours later 27407072 Anonymous
>>27406620 Read the replies that are already on the thread.

2 hours later 27407076 Anonymous
>>27406620 precedes from illegal activity can be ceased .

2 hours later 27407286 Anonymous
>>27399444 this is probably the only real advice in the thread wait for the US to collapse (and your 5m to be 200m) or get out of the country. otherwise you're risking handing over 5 million to your captors for doing something that shouldn't be illegal that they can use to keep funding the machine that robbed you of your God given rights and time on Earth with no reasonable justification If you aren't larping or honeypotting anyway.

2 hours later 27407339 Anonymous
>>27392326 Old larp is larp

2 hours later 27407490 Anonymous
>>27405069 The OP didn't say he bought the BTC with illegal funds, dipshit, that came later in the thread.

2 hours later 27408524 Anonymous
>>27397577 If you have tainted coins, there is a chance you may set off alarms when they move. Atomic swaps, later this year with Monero, may be your best bet in that case if you want to move at scale. In the meantime, swapping to Monero and back like >>27394409 suggested, and then buying an ounce of gold to be delivered to your house, will be enough to facilitate a cash transaction that will give you enough cash for a month of rent. Once you have your own safe place for a few weeks a lot of the paranoia will die down, even if you've been in the slammer for the better part of a decade. Consider using TOR browser. If you want to really be sneaky squirrel, buy a new laptop with cash that has never been connected to the internet, then install tails on it, and use TOR browser for these transactions. darknet subreddit has the instructions for this, and if you used to play around with silkies this will be like old times.

2 hours later 27408968 Anonymous
OP, you need two things: an anonymous currency and a decentralized exchange. Buy $DCR through DCRDEX, coinjoin (CoinShuffle++) the coins using the opt-in privacy feature of the newest wallet release and be free and happu. Thank me later. https://github.com/decred/dcrdex https://github.com/decred/cspp

2 hours later 27409324 Anonymous
>>27394409 >send bitcoin to exchange -> Hello KYC, Don't bother looking at this 5 million

2 hours later 27410693 Anonymous
>>27409324 yeah ideally use a DEX or something with no kyc

2 hours later 27410958 Captain Cuck
>>27392326 america? ....your gonna just have to cash out with coinbase and then pay the 100% capital gains tax or whatever ridiculous shit it is over there lol

2 hours later 27411801 Anonymous
>>27392326 You have more chance getting away with murder then with screwing the tax man. Just use an exchange like www.coinmetro.im and pay your taxes anon. If they ask you where you got the money, just co-operate and be honest. > I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching If you just follow the rules, they can't do shit. You will probably end up in jail again for money laundering kek.

2 hours later 27411945 Anonymous
>>27411801 Basically this. Should probably ask for the FEDs permission too before trying. Not worth the risk m8

3 hours later 27412448 Anonymous
>>27405069 can you be sentenced twice for the same crime?

3 hours later 27412497 Anonymous
>>27392326 Why the fuck do you want to stay in America? The country has gone to shit, you should spend a few weeks practicing spanish then land cross into Mexico and go to somewhere in latin america from there and never come back to this guess place again, I would do it if if I had millions waiting

3 hours later 27413515 Anonymous
>>27399324 This, holy fuck, this.

3 hours later 27413996 Anonymous
>>27400438 >like using tor + vpn on windows But this was always retarded

3 hours later 27414354 Anonymous
1. Swap the coins on an exchange for XRP 2. Now you have XRP 3. suffer

3 hours later 27415175 Anonymous
https://wasabiwallet.io https://xchange.me godspeed brother

3 hours later 27415301 Anonymous
>>27401898 >Easy for Feds to bust Ross and grab his laptop before he could lock it Because they were literally tailing him and knew he was logged into the admin panel of the site by having a compromised moderator IM with him as he was looking at support cases. Him getting caught had literally nothing to do with the location he was in at that time, he sold himself out to the feds from the very beginning when he self advertised the site from a Shroomery account he registered with his personal e-mail.

3 hours later 27415880 Anonymous
Convert it all to Monero and stop using BTC.

3 hours later 27416224 Anonymous
>>27396877 See above: I'm also worried about explaining where the money originally came from on my taxes. Millions of dollars don't just suddenly appear in your account. I'm happy to pay taxes, I'm just scared I'll be arrested when I try to withdraw. That's how the guy that scammed dread pirate roberts was caught, but he was trying to withdraw from a btc atm. Here, let me tell you what to say "I bought a shitload of bitcoin with some pocketchange in 2013 and just found the wallet so I'm cashing it out." If you didn't steal the money, you don't have anything to be afraid of. Just pay the fucking taxes on it.

3 hours later 27416446 Anonymous (heppy.jpg 1001x823 70kB)
>>27392326 >>27396877 OP no matter what you do your first move from your OG wallet should be to launder it into XMR. If you aren't very technical my personal recommendation for pure ease of use would be Morphtoken. The rates are really very good and worlds better than similar services, no email or nothing. Only issue is 1.5 BTC limit per trade but if I were you I would take it slow anyway just out of not trusting the exchange in some sense plus if as you say the feds are watching they could conceivably get them to stop accepting funds from that wallet since it's technically centralized but I doubt it. Send a small amount through to XMR and see if it works. Remember to use Linux + TOR, and ideally don't do it on your home wifi and if you do try to get a VPN outside of the 14 eyes that you pay for in bitcoin NOT from the wallet they know about, these are the only approved ones: https://privacytools.io/providers/v pn/ but safest is just to find public wifi. I would recommend MyMonero for the monero wallet, desktop version installed locally. When you are sending your BTC to your monero address don't worry about spreading it out because they will know it's all coming from the same BTC address anyway. But once it's in XMR it would be best to slowly create new wallets within MyMonero and add random amounts from your main wallet to each of these, making a different wallet every time. Now these wallets are all relatively clean and you could cash out directly with Localmonero, or exchange back for BTC or whatever (if you do that make sure to send them each to different BTC addresses otherwise the fact that a similar amount to what you started with goes into a single wallet could be a tippoff for the AI fags). GL OP here's my XMR if you feel like saying hi: 493Wtiy5HAMENPTbu7Dx1ZhqZrMZBbDaUAJ 2LMSgGdvqgRzyMtynQe2azkNHbrywWdgEet puaMMy9U49mj6mRzM8Lso1LQh

3 hours later 27417265 Anonymous
OP if you actually care about """"""fed adversary""""" then why are you posting on their website that you own $5,000,000 of illegal bitcoin and telling them exactly who you are (IP addy or 4chan pass payment info)? This has to be a larp

3 hours later 27417521 Anonymous
>>27417265 he said he's using vpns

3 hours later 27417778 Anonymous
>>27417521 hownu.ru

3 hours later 27418215 Anonymous
Why not just uhh, hold and only withdraw a tiny amount when you need at a bticoin atm?? Like 2 or 3k a month

3 hours later 27418360 Anonymous
>>27393503 Be very careful doing this. There are a lot that just steal your money.

3 hours later 27418562 Anonymous
>>27392326 Send me 5 btc i will send you back 4.95 washed btc and no one will know about it. Do you want my bitcoin address?

3 hours later 27418628 Anonymous
>>27416224 >sir it appears that one bitcoin was valued in the thousands in 2013 and you actually had a significant holding despite having no legitimate job at the time. The fact that you trivialize this as pocket change despite being dirt poor seems to be a red flag. >additionally it appears this cryptocurrency came from a group of bitcoin addresses known to bee associated with illegal activity

3 hours later 27418769 Anonymous
>>27392326 stop committing crimes OP

3 hours later 27418871 Anonymous
>>27392326 >148 btc Monero and convert 50% BACK TO BTC the dont cash out just cash alittle and chill when BTC will be 1 Mil.

4 hours later 27419002 Anonymous
>>27392326 >How do I get access to this money without being immediately arrested? easy buy some passport in some funny tax free island cancel your us citizenship AND THAT'S MANDATORY IF YOU DON'T WANT IRS GOING AFTER YOU at this point move to a tax free paradise, move officially your residency there cash out the amount you need, keep the rest do whatever you want if you want to stay in US, you just pay the capital gains and that's it, you waste 1million in tax for niggers and kikes and enjoy your mmurica with 4millions which will be worth like toilette paper soon

4 hours later 27419008 Anonymous
>>27397577 Did you get the bitcoin through drug transactions? If so, gtfo and stop posting about this, you can get IP addresses from 4chan if you aren't on a VPN. But if you got the coins legitimately or through "mining them years ago" just put them on your taxes and pay that shit. The IRS isn't going to go after you as long as you pay.

4 hours later 27419029 Anonymous
>>27392326 Paying $1M in taxes is worth not having to worry about it fren. Enjoy your freedom in full.

4 hours later 27420414 Anonymous
>be me >be glownigger >make fake post >anons detail how to track them laundering illegal btc >profit

4 hours later 27420431 Anonymous
>>27413996 wait.. i know a guy who buys adderall and uses tor and a vpn. Why is it retarded? is my friend missing something?

4 hours later 27420553 Anonymous
the fact that people seem to believe that posters here have any 'anonymity' whatsoever is absolutely and wholly mind boggling to me. there is not a single anonymous 4chan poster, google and the feds know the exact identity of everyone in this thread, trivially.

4 hours later 27420567 Anonymous
glownigger thread

4 hours later 27420597 Anonymous
>>27392326 You will be paying LONG TERM capital gains tax because you held for more than a year. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT MUCH! Pay your taxes idiot.

4 hours later 27420704 Anonymous
>>27392326 Take BTC and exchange via LocalMonero into XMR, can also use LocalMonero to cash out. Take BTC, go to a casino and cash out. Buy gold, silver and other metals without having to report the transaction to the government due to making those purchases with crypto. https://www.apmex.com/now-accepting -bitcoin

4 hours later 27420777 Anonymous
>>27420553 wait so they know my friend is also consuming absurd amounts of sissy hypnosis every day?

4 hours later 27420842 Anonymous
>>27392326 Bruh the solution is super fucking easy. Not gonna say this the FBI literally browses this site.

4 hours later 27421160 Anonymous
>>27392326 Share the wealth Anon, congrats btw wish I had made that same move. 3DucakAPUvkMcQRe1YLAQRw18wat3wPJtz Doubt it will happen but could make this broke sick anons life a lot better.

4 hours later 27421179 Anonymous
>>27420431 yes very retarded indeed. >>27413996 of course but everyone did it this way and people usually get caught because they send packages with drugs with their name on it to their house.

4 hours later 27421479 Anonymous
>>27417521 most VPNs are banned you stupid fuck

4 hours later 27421648 Anonymous
>>27421179 officer tell me how it is retarded. there is no way some nigger is gonna get to my real ip adress if i use tor and not fall into some honeypot bs

4 hours later 27421729 Anonymous
>>27421179 how else are you supposed to do it lmao

4 hours later 27422002 Anonymous
>>27421648 because you're using honeypot OS to do shady shit you don't think the CIA/FBI have backdoors to Windows, and log people who have TOR installed??

4 hours later 27422090 Anonymous (1609119949745.png 745x1721 122kB)
>>27420431 Your friend is probably fine in the sense that I doubt anyone is specifically targeting them. The only benefit to using a VPN is that your ISP won't know you are using TOR, but your ISP probably doesn't give a shit either way unless the Feds tell them to. That aside, legal VPNs are required by law to keep logs and if LE wants logs from a VPN they will typically hand them over without question. VPNs are also more likely to be targeted and hacked by random people than an ISP is. Overall it's adding an additional single point of failure for a benefit that is insignificant to most people. Pic related summarized all the points pretty well.

4 hours later 27422258 Anonymous
>>27422002 >you don't think the CIA/FBI have backdoors to Windows, and log people who have TOR installed?? I highly doubt they care about you but even if they did, do you honestly think your standard OPSEC practices would outmaneuver the fucking CIA?

4 hours later 27422279 Anonymous
Just wait for orion protocol to come out and all in orion.

4 hours later 27422504 Anonymous
Your best bet is finding an anon IRL to help you for a cut.

4 hours later 27422577 Anonymous
>>27402531 Most lawyers aren’t going to narc on you, the worst that could happen is that they might refer you to a different attorney. Best case you could end up with the cash and everything is 100% legal.

4 hours later 27422679 Anonymous
Do you trust your parents? Have your dad declare it as his income, and he can explain he's been holding all this time and he mined them years and years ago.

4 hours later 27423143 Anonymous
>>27394409 This guy is correct.But turn that Bitcoin into ETH and Buy 5M dollars worth of rubic over the next 3 months and you'll do another 10x minimum ROI. Thank me later.

4 hours later 27423373 Anonymous
>>27397577 I see why you're concerned now. Yeah I would swap wallets repeatedly and eventually leave the country when you're ready to cash out

4 hours later 27423375 Anonymous
>>27392326 Reported to the appropriate authorities

4 hours later 27423502 Anonymous
https://www.fbi.gov/tips

4 hours later 27423528 Anonymous
>>27422258 CIA has diversity hires these days

4 hours later 27423670 Anonymous
>>27392326 Try to cash out with a small amount first. If you succeed do it with all. If you weren't in the feds you could switch states? Or move to Russia or Europe?

4 hours later 27423738 Anonymous
>>27407042 this

4 hours later 27423884 Anonymous
>>27422090 Thank you for the info. Pic related was a good read. My friend is gonna love this

4 hours later 27423993 Anonymous (1609482048784.gif 200x234 2990kB)
>>27423528 kek

4 hours later 27424498 Anonymous
>>27399324 This is the best advise so far. OP, don't be any more of a fag than you already are. Do this.

5 hours later 27425195 Anonymous
>all the idiots thinking this is a tax problem Interesting thread. I know you said you don't want to leave the country but it by far the easiest option. You have retirement money you may as well enjoy retirement.

5 hours later 27425349 Anonymous
>>27421648 >>27421729 download TAILS OS to usb drive. boot on a burner laptop, like a used 100 dollar laptop with no personal info (maybe use some linux distro as OS of that laptop if you want to go the extra mile). do not use a vpn, tails has everything you need. public wifi isnt a bad idea either. also: if you live in burgerland and the ADD come in pill form outside the blister and do not cost like 30$ each, they are 99.9% pressed methamphetamine.

5 hours later 27425662 Anonymous
>>27425349 you know they still need to mail stuff right where tf they gonna mail it lmao

5 hours later 27425994 Anonymous
>>27392326 Sell it through P2P bro. It's a well established route by now, nothing shady about it. Pretty much impossible to trace it to crypto. Just do it little by little, month after month

5 hours later 27427006 Anonymous
just do a giveaway here on biz, asking that recipients send back a portion to your monero address. it would be on the honor system that peeps would send monero back, but you can trust us

5 hours later 27427171 Anonymous
>>27392326 Lots of countries don't have extradition treaties with the US https://www.offshore-protection.com /offshore-blog/non-extradition-coun tries-the-best-place-to-run-to Afghanistan Algeria Andorra Angola Armenia Azerbaijan Bahrain Bangladesh Belarus Benin Botswana Brunei Burkina Faso Burundi Cambodia Cameroon Cape Verde Central African Republic Chad China Comoros Congo Djibouti East Timor Equatorial Guinea Eritrea Ethiopia Gabon Georgia Guinea Guinea-Bissau Indonesia Ivory Coast Kazakhstan Kuwait Kyrgyzstan Laos Lebanon Libya Madagascar Maldives Mali Mauritania Moldova Mongolia Morocco Mozambique Namibia Nepal Niger Oman Qatar Russia Rwanda Samoa São Tomé & Príncipe Saudi Arabia Senegal Solomon Islands Somalia South Sudan Sudan Taiwan Tajikistan Togo Tunisia Turkmenistan Uganda Ukraine UAE Uzbekistan Vanuatu Vatican City Vietnam Yemen

5 hours later 27427229 Anonymous
>>27427006 Not sure what's going on here but I like this guys idear. 3DucakAPUvkMcQRe1YLAQRw18wat3wPJtz

5 hours later 27427769 Anonymous (pic.jpg 474x237 16kB)
>>27425662 find pic related (but outside the house), put a name tag on it, observe for some time, pick up mail at night with a fake moustache. if you cant find a mailbox like that you're screwed, also dont do this in a small town with 500 people, and dont do it often, once every few weeks maybe.

5 hours later 27427908 Anonymous
>>27420431 >wait.. i know a guy who buys adderall and uses tor and a vpn. Why is it retarded? is my friend missing something? Not really, the feds won't ever go after buyers, only sellers, unless you are buying dealer-amounts. They aren't wasting their time chasing junkies.

5 hours later 27428012 Anonymous
>>27427171 These are all horrible, even as a millionaire, absolute shitholes.

5 hours later 27428446 Anonymous
>>27398783 Cause tumbling ain’t safe anymore

5 hours later 27428739 Anonymous
>>27428012 Plenty of good options there. I would choses Andorra myself. Transfer all the btc to monero or whatever. Now you're in Europe with open borders and untraceable 5 million.

5 hours later 27429133 Anonymous
>>27392326 Hire an accountant, a lawyer, and a broker. Have them create an offshore company, outside of the United States, in a country with favorable tax laws. You will be the sole owner and CEO of this company. All of your Bitcoins will go into this company. You will then pay taxes to the US government. But they will be substantially less than what you would pay as an individual. If they set up the company correctly, your money will be virtually untouchable by the US government.

5 hours later 27430394 Anonymous
>>27392326 Just be a gud boi until your time is done, then take a vacation and never return you fucking crazy mutt. >open market jailtime What does this mean anyway?

6 hours later 27430591 Anonymous
>>27401021 Gura is a tranny, /g/ and /pol/ and /b/ all had BTC threads back in 2011 and earlier. People gave away BTC on /b/, as a joke. Fucking newfag.

6 hours later 27430719 Anonymous
>>27396877 Get a license then, retard.

6 hours later 27430820 Anonymous
>>27397205 Start a PROFITABLE business, so you can have a neat way of living life.

6 hours later 27430983 Anonymous
>>27397577 Probably should spread it between a bunch of different untraceable wallets with XMR then. The FRENDS are not usually tech-savvy, being a bunch of fat libarts retards.

6 hours later 27431054 Anonymous
>>27402531 Answer the question OP.....why do you think the feds know about your wallet? It must've come up in court at some point. I think you should transfer ALL coins to a safe hard wallet in a single transaction, and then intentionally infest your computer with a virus. Then, if feds come knocking, play dumb and give them your computer. If they don't come knocking, you're home free (but you'd still need a way to launder the money without being an idiot).

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