4chan archive /b/ (index)
2012-09-08 08:26 424006034 Anonymous (atv-rollover[1].jpg 290x240 33kB)
ITT: We greentext our closest brushes with death >Be about an hour ago >Riding my quad on old railbed >Coming up on a turn >All of a sudden another fucking quad out of nowhere >Other guy doing like 60 km/h or some shit >Barely react in time, jerk to the right as hard as I can >Drive through trees and bushes and shit millimeters away from ditch >Oh fuck hope I don't hit a huge rock or hole >Get back on the railbed. >Fucking dirtbikes out of nowhere going just as fast as the other guy >Fuck this shit, go a bit farther, get onto pavement >pic semi-related inb4 "meme arrows" bullshit

3 min later 424006613 Anonymous
Bamp for interest.

8 min later 424007257 Anonymous
>be like 16 >In friends car >Drive to empty parking lot behind abandoned warehouse >Find trash, investigate >Tie mattress to rear bumper with rope >Take turns ridin dirty' > My turn, with other friend on matress >Being filmed >Friend starts car it goes faster and faster >oshitwtf >Matress tearing apart, elbows and limbs sliding against pavement >oshitgonnadie >Drifts a little >Matress flips >We both go flying into woods >try to get up >Dizzy >Bonker head on tree >We ok >Get out of woods >bleeding elbows >Later find a shard of glass en lodged in my skin >Should have gotten stitches, ugly scar now

9 min later 424007478 Anonymous
Another one. >Me, a friend, my girlfriend and friend's cousin driving on the highway >Using passing lane to pass another car >Going up blind hill >Other lane was single lane with double yellow line >Fucking truck out of nowhere passing this car over double yellow line >Literally and inch away from clipping our mirror >Me and friend exchange looks >Don't speak of it until we reach our destination to avoid freaking out the girls in back.

9 min later 424007521 Anonymous
>be in college >appendix ruptures while living in dorms >get scooped off hallway floor and ambulance ride to hospital >3 days missing from memory >month recovery

10 min later 424007634 Anonymous
>>424007478 >An inch away

14 min later 424008284 Anonymous (Down.png 1280x1024 233kB)
Holy Shit: I finally have a relevant story to greentext. >be on roadtrip with my dad. >we on a motorcycle >me on back seat inb4 bitch seat >rolling down some road in bumblefuck nowhere. >bait shop on right up ahead. relatively light traffic >get up near it >asshole on other side of road swings left turn into their parking lot >That fatal left turn >bike is from 1987, no abs or anything >dad goes fucking boss mode >literally perfect amount of braking >back of dudes truck missed motorcycle by an inch and my leg by 2. >we were doing 40 or so by the time my dad got it slowed down. >all slowed in my head. extremely aware of situation. >remember to this day mfw left turning drivers kill a lot of motorcyclists

15 min later 424008363 Anonymous
How about another >Driving down same highway in last story >Winter time. This part of highway infamous for high winds >In 5-ton International, some other guy driving >Gust of wind takes truck and turns it fucking sideways down the highway >Several bricks were shat >Barely regain control and make it back home. Not really that close but still fucking cringe worthy at the time.

21 min later 424009356 Anonymous
>Be 19 >Be on ATV's in backwood fields with 12 year old cousin >Cousin speeds ahead in the field >Doesnt see the ditch for the tall grass >Falls in going like 45 or something >Gets flung way off the ATV, 'bout 5 feet up, crushes down directly on his back >>PANIC! >>IM COMMIN LITTLE BUDDY! >>Speed ahead to get to him quickly >>Also fall in going 45, >>Also flung >>He wakes me up 5 minutes later, said I crashed >Ask him if he's okay >>Calls me a bitch.

21 min later 424009397 Anonymous (Adventurer-4Pos-Hagar3-Small.jpg 358x358 27kB)
>be 11ish >on top of swingset that looks like this one except theres no tarp or roof beams >strongass gust of wind out of fucking nowhere >i fall backwards off of swingset >hit ground hard. all wind gets knocked out of me >look at my legs. see rusty metal pole in between legs. if i fell a few inches closer to the swingset that fucking pole would have smashed through my assbone and came out through my pubic area.

22 min later 424009436 Anonymous (RD.png 399x400 366kB)
>Be 16 >Just get out of school and walking back with friend >Going past rail road >Stop when the light comes on >Faggot friend says "let's just cross" >Say no >Calls me a pussy >Grabs my hat and runs across track >Knee-jerk reaction chase after him >Just as I get to the other side have the loudest horn blare in my ear >Feel the rush of air >Massive fucking freight train flies past >Realise I was literally a second away from being atomized into a million pieces >Grab hat from friend, smash him the face twice and walk off

24 min later 424009725 Anonymous
>Be in France on the northern train-station >Some guy come and drags me down in a shopping centres basement >Kick him and run >Security guys laughing when I run past them Not death, but rape though...

24 min later 424009793 Anonymous
En>patrolling Iraq >walking in the street with my SAW >suddenly fall backwards and feel like a sledgehammer it me >hear the shot ring out >everybody reruns fire >dragged into an alley >thinking about death >can't breathe, buddy talking me through it >SAPI plate shattered by a dragunov

28 min later 424010357 Anonymous (our_crash_2.png 635x477 501kB)
> Last spring > My best friend be driving down one way country lane with me in passenger seat > Not even speeding > Man driving right at us with his headlights on full beam out of nowhere > He be like 60mph (Britfag here) > My friend puts his car in a dirt ledge to the side of the road > He flips car and the side lands horizontally on the bonnet of the speeding prick > puts me in hospital's intensive care for 3 weeks and him in hospital for 5 days > I have glass in my eyes and lungs > Almost loose my eye sight > Friend still stopped a head on collision and definitely saved both our lives with that very fucking bold move Pic related (It's our car after the crash)

40 min later 424012552 Anonymous
>get new suzuki katana >take 400 mile road trip around the allaghney national forrest route 666 ftw >riding through big left curve in the road, going about 60 >fully loaded log truck coming other direction >hes going too fast and drifts into my lane. >slam on my brakes and turn right into the grass - shoulder >get it down to about 30 mph but avoided the truck >loose control in the grass >lay it down,sit on the side >only injury getting raped by the handlebar.

42 min later 424012832 Anonymous (484562_339769309436066_1745273378_n.jpg 720x540 61kB)
>>424012552 this is the side i layed it down on, i repaired the plastics at the bottom with tie wire and repainted it...

50 min later 424014265 Anonymous
fuck ok.... >Be working for halliburton >El centro California, 120 degrees >on job pumping acetic acid into geothermal well to clean it >on well head hammering pressure pipe to well before we start pumping >just finish hammering pressure hose/pipe to >well head >5-6 feet off ground standing in front of wheel valve >loud as fuck everywhere because pump trucks >at full tilt getting ready to engage pumps >well starts moving like there is a earthquake >wtf.jpeg >just moved to other side of well head and >opposite side of wheel valve >all of a sudden the whole wheel valve explodes >throwing me to the ground > think I was just killed everthing is in slow >motion >Aera Energy supervisors come running yelling >"are you ok!!!!!!????" >stumble to my feet, whole right side is burning >from green acetic acid > its not too bad cause its like very strong >vinegar, but still irritates like fuck >dumbass though he heard "engage pump" and >engaged it bring the pressure to 3500 psi in >seconds....wheel valve was closed >it blew the wheel valve OFF and sheared all >but 3 of the 10-12 half inch bolts, and nearly >hit a supervisor standing near it. mfw I nearly died mfw I told the halliburton supervisor to go fuck himself mfw I hopped in one of the rigs and started it and turned on the a/c the rest of a 14 hour shift mfw I got paid for that shit too cause they couldnt say shit cause they almost killed me mfw I have no face

53 min later 424014887 Anonymous
>>424014265 >>424014265 the fucking sound of that wheel valve exploding was fucking unreal too, there was no fire cause it was a steam well, but fuckloads of pressure and acid everywhere, I was wearing tyvex, but had the top part around my waist because of the extreme heat. concentrated acetic acid burns pretty bad, and the smell will take your breath away. imagine smelling ammonia, kinda like that. this was back in 1998-99

58 min later 424015824 Anonymous
>>424014265 I thought halliburton only rented tools. Do you guys have your own wells?

59 min later 424015876 Anonymous
>Nigger friend invites me to a party. >He's a close friend from childhood, I say yes. >Take hours walking through city looking for party. >Finally find the place, I was the only white male there. >I sit in the back with a beer in my hand nodding my head to the niggerbeats. >Friend bursts out of the basement door. >2 niggers in hot pursuit. >I chase after them and my friend. >In the backyard my friend is trying to hop the fence when the one nigger grabs him and throws him to the ground. >I run out and push him away from my friend who gets up and tries hopping the fence again. >The other nigger pulls out a knife. >ohshit.jpg >Guy lunges knife at me, but I knock his hand away and the knife stabs into the fence. >Other guy pulls out a gun. >I grab the knife and throw it at the nigger with gun. >Knife cuts his arm and I turn to hop the fence. >I'm white, so it took me a while, first knife nigger grabs at me. >I kick him in the face and hop fence. >We run home. >Shat my pants.

1 hours later 424017336 Anonymous
>be around 12 >running around outside with glass bowl >trip and fall over on stone path >shards of glass everywhere >get up >realise there is a giant cut on left hand and forearm >another graze on my neck >starts bleeding a lot >rush to hospital >stitch up my forearm and hand >ask doctor about graze on neck >say it was centimetres from carotid artery

1 hours later 424018865 Anonymous
>>424015824 no we never had any leases or wells, you are right we just lend tools/do jobs for the oil companies.

1 hours later 424018909 Anonymous
>when younger >something happened >nearly died >shit was close

1 hours later 424020671 Anonymous
>>424018909 I lol'd

1 hours later 424021075 Anonymous
>>424017336 my cousin had something similar happen while putting rather large firecrackers in glass bottles, he got a 1/4 inch piece of glass in his neck by his jugular. shit was close

1 hours later 424022398 Anonymous
OP here. I had to go run some errands. Surprised this thread is still alive. Bump for moar stories

1 hours later 424022851 Anonymous
>be chillin like a villain with some bros, pick up some weed >friend comes over, he just got some crazy russian benzo, asks if we want to try it >lol sure >we call our other friend, asks if he wants to get high and go drive around >he says yeah, and that he just got a script of 30mg oxys >we all decide its a great idea to take 3 oxys each, 10-15mg of the benzoate and then smoke an 8th of weed >dont remember how i got home, 2 of my friends are in jail >my girlfriend got 2 tickets for weed >none of us have any idea what happened

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