4chan archive /b/ (index)
2012-09-05 09:44 423427859 Anonymous (wallpaper_1470158564.jpg 1600x1200 194kB)
Running for freshman class president and need a short one minute long speech that can give me a better chance of winning. There are other people that are more popular than me and I really need to win. Pic unrelated

0 min later 423428016 Anonymous
Hello, Megan.

1 min later 423428209 Anonymous
Hello, Brandon

5 min later 423428757 Anonymous
Hello, [High School Name]. I am [Anon]. And I'm going to make this school kick ass. Every ass. Every single ass. You see, I have the plan. First, I tell you about the plan. Second, you agree. Third, the school improves. One day while walking past the auto mall I noticed a smaller car than was necessary. It was shaped in the shape of a fish, and it was very ugly. So I asked to test drive that car, and when I was done, I was wearing a condom on each finger, playing the trombone, and the car was not ugly anymore. So ask yourself, is this the man I would? Then I took each condom off my finger and shoved it in the man's ear, and he went to the next county and called it Moolchaforgh. In this county, all men are created equal, and all women are robots. I know because I built their asses. The first step of my plan is to smell the ass of every nubile female here. I know I am much older than you girls, but rest assured, despite my greying hair, I remember how to fix the caboose. It is where I keep my trauma pills, which you can take to have some trauma. But don't take them because trauma is bad. In short, if you want a robot ass in each classroom, vote for me.

9 min later 423429462 Anonymous
"So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?" Won me class president in the pentagonal white house of Beijing. Captcha: CAPTURE Robotran

9 min later 423429587 Anonymous
"So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?" Won me class president in the pentagonal white house of Beijing, Korea. Captcha: CAPTURE Robotran

11 min later 423429886 Anonymous
>>423428757 This is pretty good. Alternatively, do the napolean dynamite dance.

20 min later 423431204 Anonymous
Self bump

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