4chan archive /adv/ (index)
2020-03-18 08:45 22005010 Anonymous (1533003709958.gif 500x283 144kB)
Anyone else have a shitty mom? All my life all she'd done was try to control me. Shaming me for wanting things, threatening to leave when I didn't do what she wanted etc. Thing is, she still loves me. idk how to explain it, it's like, I want to love her as a mother, but when I think about the actual way she treated me, I can't. When I was a teenager she did everything in her power to stop me from going to college, and succeeded, and then, when I finally worked up the nerve to go years later, I dropped out. And I remember the things she'd say to me. At a time when I was the most vulnerable, in the most need of support, all she did was take, take, take from me. She never actually tried to build me up in any way, definitely not emotionally. But she did love me. But then again who does that to a teenager? I put myself in her place, imagine having a teenaged son, it would be so obvious, so simple, to see why he would lash out, to understand what he's going through mentally, to act accordingly. But my mom couldn't seem to grasp my frustration. I was trapped, homeschooled, poor, with an overbearing mom, denied socialization, and yet she acted like I had no right to be upset. Never thought that maybe I felt alone, maybe I was depressed etc.. never. I still live with her, and for the most part still deal with these issues, but I'm 22 now, and I feel so ashamed of feeling this way. I'm a grown man yet I feel like an abandoned child. I can't blame my mom for my problems anymore. But at the same time I can't move on. I can't function properly in society and don't have a job. No future. Not even a driver's license. I just feel trapped. I can't do anything. I've never done anything. Nobody's there to help me. I don't want to work at mcdonalds and piss away my paycheck on bills and then kill myself because I hate it. But everyone seems to expect this of me. But I can't do it, it's too hard. Everything's too hard and I want out What should I do? How can I possibly not kill myself?

46 min later 22005144 Anonymous
>>22005010 >Get a job >Move out

1 hours later 22005256 Anonymous
>>22005144 oh yeah it's so easy right

1 hours later 22005272 Anonymous
>>22005144 you're the epitome of this entire board you stupid faggot fuck you

1 hours later 22005316 Anonymous (1522115844760.png 257x265 116kB)
>>22005256 What do you want us to do? If I could magic your mother into a decent human being, I would have done it to mine years ago. You need to get the fuck away from her. Find whatever support network you can, and if there's no way for you to actually find work or get by where you are, then get money for a train ticket to a warm coast, however you can. Even if you're homeless for a while, the warm breeze and infinite sky will watch over you while you piece yourself together and figure out who you are. This is your call to adventure. It's time to come out of your fucking cupboard, Harry Potter.

1 hours later 22005324 Anonymous
>>22005316 Also there are better lowskill jobs than McDonalds. Right now grocery stores really need workers. Go ask if you can be an inventory coordinator or something. Don't have to deal with customers, don't have to work with the pigshit stupid overnighters, you can have a bit of fun trying to figure out how you can stack a pallet of coolers and camping chairs as high as possible "without" killing someone.

1 hours later 22005343 Anonymous
This game of survival isn't as serious as your mother made you believe, so I'll ask you sincerely. Won't you leave her behind and come play with the rest of us?

3 hours later 22005607 Anonymous
>>22005010 It ain’t so bad. When I was a littl boy I stabbed by mother in her forehead with a fork because she threatened to give me up for adoption. I was taken away and placed in a foster care program. Someone close to the program coordinator fostered me. They later brought lawsuits against the coordinator because he was using those files for his displacement theory. Apparently he believed parents giving up children for a adoption should suffer as much as the children because they made them accessible to their genetic assembly. I heard this my first week of work when a prospective client set up an appt just to let me know who he was and what was occurring. Meaning he created a vector for assembly theft and hiding genetic alteration. Which is a no no in many countries.

4 hours later 22005695 Anonymous
>>22005010 /r/raisedbynarcissists. i've been through much worse. get a fucking job and move the fuck out.

4 hours later 22005735 Anonymous
>>22005010 Been there myself OP, I know exactly what you mean. The difference between us is Im a few years older than you and had to start at the bottom anyway. In my case I had a lot of people around since I was a kid but had to build myself. Nobody helped me except someone close, to drive. It's not easy, it's never easy when you're alone. I believe you can do it though, you lack confidence now but you'll build it. Sometimes you just need someone to believe in you, I'll be one of those people.

4 hours later 22005742 Anonymous
>>22005735 Also, I lost most of the people I had at some point. I realized they never bothered to give me a tip for a reason, our separation was bound to happen. It was only a matter of time.

12 hours later 22006689 Anonymous
>>22005010 Do you hate an amateur baseball player for not being very good at it? I mean really hate? Like every other mother in history, your mother was an amateur parent, doing the best she could. It is sad that she wasn't very good at it, but not something to hate her for.

21 hours later 22007688 Anonymous (1570299774178.jpg 781x767 86kB)
>>22005010 hate to break it to you op but your mom does not love you. I have a similar issue with both of my parents. Its a very hard to detect form of abuse but it is extremely damaging. Your whole life she stifled you because the more autonomy you have the less control she has over you. For boomer parents its literally about control. They cant cope with their shitty lives so they arrest your upward momentum. Its really sad. They guilt you with the idea that she gave birth to you and how much they "love" you but that isnt true. Love is caring for something other than yourself MORE than yourself. Your mother is a narcissist. She would rather see you fail because she cant deal with her own failure. She's too cowardly. And she cares more about her own emotional hangups that she refuses to deal with than your success as a human being. Its incredibly selfish and even more fucked up that she uses ideas like love to make you feel sorry for her. Unfortunately this is all too common.

22 hours later 22007733 Anonymous
>>22005144 I had dickheads like this

22 hours later 22007735 Anonymous
>>22007733 hate*

25 hours later 22008159 Anonymous
get a fucking job or get into school full-time

28 hours later 22008646 Anonymous (tenor.gif 288x288 2102kB)
That is shitty, but you're only choice is to go to work or school at your age

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