4chan archive /adv/ (index)
2020-03-18 02:18 22002688 Anonymous Coping with potential death of loved ones (1584236554376.png 540x512 436kB)
My 2 surviving grandparents are in the 80s and in particular my grandfather is pretty frail. My mother is in her 60s and has chronic lung problems, though perfectly manageable for her under normal circumstances. But these are not normal circumstances.
I am pretty damn certain that if any of grandparents, or my mother, catch the corona virus, they will die. 90% if not 100% certain. My grandparents are of the age where to be honest you'd expect them to die anyway, but my mother could live for a long time to come yet. What I'm really fucking worried about is that doctors in my country are predicting that 60-80% of the nation will be infected and to me, that sounds like I've basically being told that my mother, grandma and grandpa are all going to die. Because if they catch this virus, with their age and conditions, they are dead.
I cannot bear losing my mother, and if I lose all 3 of them all at once I genuinely think I'm going to emotionally lose it and not be able to function. I don't need advice on how to protect them, I've done everything I can. But I need you guys to give it to me straight, no bullshit. Do I need to start emotionally preparing myself for all my remaining loved ones to die? Because right now, I genuinely don't think I'd cope. I think if they all die, or even just my mother, I'm going to fucking snap and go clinically insane.
14 min later 22002728 Anonymous
>But I need you guys to give it to me straight, no bullshit. Do I need to start emotionally preparing myself for all my remaining loved ones to die?
Yes. This pandemic is serious and WILL kill loved ones.
>Because right now, I genuinely don't think I'd cope. I think if they all die, or even just my mother, I'm going to fucking snap and go clinically insane.
You'll be okay. For now, just be with them.
48 min later 22002797 Anonymous
Any tips for how to prepare myself? The thing is that I have had relatively little family tragedy in my life. My dad died, but when I was too young to have any memory of him, so strangely it brings me no sadness other than the fact of thinking "what if he had lived a bit longer". I had an uncle who died of cancer, but that's the closest brush with grief I've had. I don't know how I'm gonna cope with the deaths of my older family members, particularly my mother. I have no coping strategies here. No expertise to help me.
1 hours later 22002850 Anonymous
Everything might be okay, anon. I don't know about your grandparents, but the coronavirus is very survivable for those in their 60s. I think the death rate is something like 8 percent for the 70s, 14 for the 80s, and less than 5 for the 60s? There's reason to be scared, but it's entirely possible that none of them will catch it or that some will catch it but all will survive. It's very possible that nothing bad will happen, especially given how serious quarantine efforts are becoming.
3 hours later 22003105 Anonymous
There's no real way to prepare for the death of a loved one, particularly someone very close to you. I had my grandmother, who was my best friend, die unexpectedly and had loved ones take a long time to die under hospice care. There's just no way to prepare for it. My best friend's mom was in a coma for over 3 weeks before they took her off life support and the pain is just as bad as if it was unexpected. My point is, you can't prepare yourself for a loss like that, just enjoy your family while you have them, if you spend all this time on what ifs, you'll never enjoy the right now.
3 hours later 22003109 Anonymous
What about 50s?
7 hours later 22003659 Anonymous
There's no denying that they are in danger. But there is some evidence that isolation does work. If they stay home and don't have contact with others who are infected, they're probably safe. It will be a lonely life for a while, and you (and others who love them) will want to do all you can to run errands, chat with them on the phone, etc.