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2019-03-01 04:40 20631860 Anonymous judging # of sex partners (73A8D52E-04F7-4F5C-A141-27D15F1923D5.jpg 960x535 39kB)
Why is it that people (especially women) always tout “its immoral to judge someone based on how many people they slept with” or how it’s just “not right” BUT they are so quick to judge based on someone’s LACK of experience? Why? That seems very hypocritical

1 min later 20631863 Anonymous
Because you're in an argument with them and said something particularly sharp. They're retaliating.

1 min later 20631865 Anonymous
>>20631860 I don't know about the second but the first one is enlightened self-interest I reckon.

2 min later 20631869 Anonymous
>>20631863 No that’s not what happened. I’ve had girls give me weird looks and comment when they find out I’ve only had 1 gf. I don’t ask about their sexual past, but they bring up the conversation on their own and ask me.

4 min later 20631876 Anonymous
That doesn't happen in real life but only inside your tiny incel mind.

4 min later 20631877 Anonymous
>>20631876 Yes it does

5 min later 20631879 Anonymous
They judge on the reasons for the lack of experience, not the lack itself. Look at Tim Tebow as a prime example.

8 min later 20631884 Anonymous
>>20631879 What about him? I was on a date a few days ago, things were going well. Then the girl asked me about when my last relationship ended. I told her I’ve never had gf before and she immediately paused and just looked at me. Smirked and said “ha you’re not serious”. When I said yes she just kind of gave me this weird look and under her breath said “wow”. It was awkward from that point on. I’ve had similar experiences with at least 5 other girls over the past 7 months

10 min later 20631889 Anonymous
>>20631884 See how in the story there was no mutual understanding of the reason why you've had no gf before? Also don't ask me "what about him," for fuck's sake just Google his name and you can probably figure it out in about 10 seconds. He's a posterboy for getting zero critical judgment (and in fact deep sexual admiration) from women despite sexual inexperience because the reason is understood and respected.

10 min later 20631890 Anonymous
It's because you are an angry virgin who calls every girl who has had sex with someone who is not you a whore.

12 min later 20631896 Anonymous
Obviously a part is just hypocrisy, it hurts being judged while judging others is easy, look at this board and you see many men doing the same where they don't want to be judged for their virginity but do judge women for having sex. If there's any argument to be made for it I guess it would be that virginity can be changed (and the person involved has influence over it, though not full control) where experiences can't be made undone. Which means if you think someone is a bad person for being a slut you have written them off forever while a virgin can change their ways.

13 min later 20631900 Anonymous
>>20631889 it shouldn’t matter tho. Just like it shouldn’t matter how many guys those same girls fucked. I didn’t ask her how many guys she fucked and why she fucked so many guys

14 min later 20631905 Anonymous
>>20631860 Society - or rather many local sub-societies - reach an unspoken consensus on what is "normal" or "typical" or "expected." This is very fluid, and can change over time or with a move (either geographical or demographic) to another sub-group. So in each group there is an unspoken consensus that those of age X will probably have had this number of partners, those of age Y this number, and so on. And significant deviations, in either direction, are seen as not typical and therefore suspect.

16 min later 20631909 Anonymous
>>20631900 It shouldn't matter, you're right. It does because there's a pretty common reflex among people: we ascribe the most positive intent to our choices while assuming the most negative intent to the choices of others. As a loose metaphor, imagine driving very slowly and carefully because you have a cake or delicate floral arrangement in the car. Everyone behind you on the road is going to just assume "Anon doesn't know how to drive." Likewise that might be your impulse when stuck behind a slow driver, despite having no idea about the contents of their car. Unless you establish an understanding for the reasons behind a lack of experience, most people are going to reflexively fill in the blanks with negative presumptions. That's the judgment which is going on in the conversation you described.

19 min later 20631919 Anonymous
>>20631909 So, I should just give them an explanation and then I should ask them about their partners and ask them for an explanation why they hooked up with so many guys?

22 min later 20631926 Anonymous
>>20631919 You should give them an explanation if they ask and you choose to answer, yes. There's nothing to gain by shooting yourself in the foot if you've already decided to participate in that conversation. If it matters to you, you can ask them about their romantic history and an explanation as well. Sounds like you pretty much understand what I'm getting at. I still leave it to you whether you feel it's appropriate to even care about such things. I just don't want you getting judged unfairly by those women who do care. You deserve better than to have the worst assumptions held against you for no reason.

22 min later 20631927 Anonymous
>>20631919 Or instead of being antagonistic you could just shrug when someone asks and say it's personal to you and you don't understand why it matters and see if they can respect that.

31 min later 20631944 Anonymous
>>20631926 ok well I will try this. Although I feel like it will end badly. I’ve noticed girls can be very defensive when it comes to their history. I have female friends and I’ve heard them bitch about how they’ve been on dates and had guys ask them how many partners they’ve had. >>20631927 That doesn’t work. They think I’m hiding something. I’ve tried that

36 min later 20631955 Anonymous
>>20631944 If you care about your dates' sexual histories and the reason behind them, use the mechanism at your disposal and ask. It's entirely your right to accept the potential consequences of that (them getting defensive) in return for something you care about. And if you ever decide to reassess how much you care in the future, you can change course too. The most important thing to do is just communicate your reasons and ask about their reasons. Good luck.

37 min later 20631959 Anonymous
I'm going to use this thread to ask my own question >>20631944 >They think I’m hiding something. What if you are? I don't want to have to tell this whole story about how my relationships with the opposite sex were ruined for years by childhood abuse, my mother's personal vendetta against men, and rape to someone I hardly know.

38 min later 20631960 Anonymous
>>20631955 I do care about that a lot actually. But I am a fair person, so I figure that if I don’t judge them for their history they better not judge mine, although they do anyways

41 min later 20631964 Anonymous
>>20631944 >That doesn’t work. They think I’m hiding something. I’ve tried that I don't know man, this might be just me but I don't think it's a very normal question to ask. Maybe "did you never meet a girl you could see yourself with" or "have you ever been in love" or something but flat out "hey so why are you still a virgin"? Superweird. I was also a late bloomer, used to get questions about this and for whatever it's worth I've also had guys act caught off guard and turned off after learning I was a virgin/I had not been in a relationship. It depends on what they perceive as normal, if they haven't known a virgin in the last five years they're likely to see you as a freakshow. Also of course the other anon >>20631909 is very right to say this. But I feel that at least past twenty or something most people should be well-equipped to reach an impression of someone's emotional maturity and ideas about women and so on without flat out questioning them about their lack of experience.

42 min later 20631967 Anonymous
>>20631959 One option you have is to find a way to get across that there is a set of negative past experiences which reasonable people would understand, but that you're not comfortable with sharing them in detail. Another option is to omit any mention of your past at all and keep it at what the other Anon suggested: "it's personal to me." The only overarching truth here is that people impulsively jump to the worst assumptions. The more you're willing to divulge facts to replace those assumptions, the better off you're likely to stand in their judgment. Unfortunately life is complicated and you're not in a position to spill everything at first; you have it harder than most people. That's a disadvantage you're just going to have to live with, to a greater or lesser extent depending on your choice of approach.

43 min later 20631970 Anonymous
>>20631964 >hey so why are you still a virgin"? That’s not what they ask. They ask “when did your last relationship end?”

46 min later 20631978 Anonymous
>>20631964 Other Anon here. Without turning too much of the focus away from OP and others with similar questions let me tell you this: my job is to train new managers at my company. I cannot tell you how much of a universal opportunity it is among these people to learn how to stop assuming and start pursuing an understanding. It's 95% of my working hours spent doing that, no lie. People are AWFUL at judging books by their covers, or really in any way short of being coached to read line by line.

51 min later 20631987 Anonymous
>>20631970 Okay but then you can say "I've never dated anyone"/"I've never been in an official relationship" and they'd still need to probe for the conversation to not end there. >>20631978 I do agree with that.

1 hours later 20632026 Anonymous
>>20631987 Yes and that’s what I say “I’ve never had a gf” then typically they say something like “wow” or “thats Strange” “that’s weird” then almost all of them have said “so you’ve only had hook ups?” which then means I have to respond with “no”. And then that’s when they realize I’m a Virgin and start to act weird and uncomfortable

1 hours later 20632027 Anonymous
>>20632026 How old are you, OP?

1 hours later 20632030 Anonymous
>>20632027 28

1 hours later 20632032 Anonymous
>>20632030 You're going to have to start lying. I probably would think twice dating a guy with no relationship experience at 28.

1 hours later 20632038 Anonymous
>>20632032 >lie WowS sounds like a great idea and way to start a relationship

1 hours later 20632042 Anonymous
>>20632038 That's option 1. Option 2 is being up-front before the date even occurs, and be very prepared to be ghosted a lot. Someone with 0% relationship experience at your age is a red flag. It's a massive undertaking to date someone who is over a decade behind in emotional intelligence. Most bitches want to have kids in your age bracket; they want someone who knows what they're doing.

1 hours later 20632046 Anonymous
>>20632042 this is such bs. again it goes back to my OP. It seems like it’s ok for people to judge an inexperienced person all they want, but it’s so wrong to judge an overly experienced person. So basically I’m fucked.

1 hours later 20632052 Anonymous
>>20632038 >>20632032 The unavoidable truth on both ends. How did you end up not having any relationship experience? I'm 21 and Im in the same boat been only doing hookups and like 3 friends back home. None here really. . .

1 hours later 20632060 Anonymous
>>20632052 i was really lost and depressed during my teenage years. I didn’t have a parent to really be a role model and teach me how to be a man. I was equally as lost in my early twenties. I went into the military which did help give me some structure. But I was still depressed. After my contract I had an alright paying job but I worked night shifts so I never talked to anyone and had no friends so I was really depressed from 22-25. When I turned 26 I decided to make a change and I started lifting and set my mind to accomplish some goals. Now that I’m 28, I’m pretty /fit/, I have a good job that ways well and I really enjoy it. Maybe this sounds arrogant but I don’t look like a virgin stereotype. Only 1 of my female friends knows I’m a Virgin and she even told me that.

1 hours later 20632087 Anonymous
the only problem with inexperienced guys ive had is that the sex is usually really.. bad. not always, but still not to mention there is usually some sort of reason. not the inexperience itself, but that they have some other selection of traits that makes them off putting to have sex with to begin with

2 hours later 20632098 Anonymous
>>20632087 So that’s a good enough reason to judge them?

2 hours later 20632113 Anonymous
>>20632032 >>20632052 I love how I come back to this thread after a while and people are right back to the whole "assume the worst" shit. First state reluctance about dating a guy with no experience and THEN ask how it happened. See, OP? This is why I recommended being very forthcoming with the reasons before people assume there's something grossly wrong with you. This is how people are. People you have never even met in real life are already figuring that you should be avoided for...reasons they ask about as an afterthought?

2 hours later 20632115 Anonymous
>>20632113 The hypocrisy is what blows my mind. These people are so quick to judge me very harshly, but they get extremely defensive if anyone questions how promiscuous they were. What a fucking joke

2 hours later 20632123 Anonymous
>>20632115 To be fair I kind of understand the defensiveness though. Now that we're all seeing how people are, imagine what these people are thinking. "He's asking how promiscuous I've been. He's already assuming I'm a mentally warped slut." And that's a fair thing to think because most people would probably jump to that exact assumption. The walls go up because everyone is that used to being judged on assumptions. Crazy.

2 hours later 20632135 Anonymous
>>20632123 The same could be said when a girl instantly thinks “omg he’s a Virgin loser”

2 hours later 20632156 Anonymous
>>20632135 Absolutely, the gut reaction is to get defensive because it's virtually a guarantee that she'll jump to conclusions. Still I think that being armed with this awareness gives you a good plan of action. If the conversation is going to go in that direction then answer and follow up with reasons before her assumptions come into play. With any luck you'll set an example and she'll give you a chance to hear her out as well.

2 hours later 20632172 Anonymous
>>20632156 it just pisses me off because there is all of this talk and huge push to not judge women for their promiscuity. But NOBODY defends virgins or guys with little experience. EVER

2 hours later 20632183 Anonymous
>>20632172 the world revolves around pussy my friend

2 hours later 20632194 Anonymous
>>20632183 Which is fucking bs. Because it shouldn’t. Pussy is not the most important thing in the world

2 hours later 20632213 Anonymous
>>20632113 No offense anon, but the only acceptable reasons for not having any dating experience at 28 boils down to being in a coma or being committed to a no-girls cult. Anything else is due to a personality disorder, crippling autism, or severe abuse, all things no one is going to take kindly to. You have to find someone who will take pity on you or has a very, very pure heart.

2 hours later 20632216 Anonymous
>>20632194 remember to take your red pills every morning bros

3 hours later 20632231 Anonymous
>>20632213 I'm not offended. I'm just completely unimpressed by someone who is doubling down on assuring me why it's totally cool to make blind assumptions when the truth is literally a question away. You have every right to judge on the basis of facts as you will but what are you proving with this "acceptable reasons" list? Should anyone care that you already made your mind up about hypothetical things? Let me go dig a gold star sticker out of my desk drawer for you. I have no idea why you're proud of any of what you wrote.

3 hours later 20632240 Anonymous
>>20632216 You think pussy really is the most important thing in the world.. and you also really think because someone disagrees with you they are red pilled? You sound like a fag

3 hours later 20632244 Anonymous
>>20631860 >Why is it that people (especially women) always tout “its immoral to judge someone based on how many people they slept with” or how it’s just “not right” At least they word it right, and not the pathetic stammering we usually hear from guys. >G... guys can fuck as much as they want!! G... genetics and e.. evolution says so...! W... whore! Either way, low partner count is a positive for other people with a low partner count. A high partner count is great for people with a high partner count. It's that simple. Don't worry about the other group, they won't care about you anyway.

3 hours later 20632247 Anonymous
>>20632213 THIS just fucking lie, at 28 all you're going to get is left over women anyway so who cares

3 hours later 20632249 Anonymous
>>20631896 >men doing the same where they don't want to be judged for their virginity but do judge women for having sex It's almost as if men and women are different and carry different prefrences, values and expectations of each other. Not like men have traded their labor and protection for a wife's virgin exclusivity in a marriage for the last thousand years or anything.

3 hours later 20632253 Anonymous
>>20632244 >>G... guys can fuck as much as they want!! G... genetics and e.. evolution says so...! W... whore! I literally never said this

3 hours later 20632254 Anonymous
>>20632231 A person has no right to be upset they're being judged over something this expected and basic. If you're 28 years old and you don't have your driver's license, have never had a job before, or have never been with a chick in any way, even e-dating, you've failed as a human being. You've missed crucial developmental stages and whatever prevented you from reaching the absolute bare minimum is irrelevant from the fact that, if I date said perma-virgin, he can't be my equal, he has to be my responsibility. I have to teach him lessons in love and relationships that I do not want to teach. Do I really want to put up with this man's first fight with a girlfriend? His first time having to compromise his own needs for mine? That's very, very demanding on me, my time, my emotions, and my future.

3 hours later 20632262 Anonymous
>>20632087 That's because you are terrible at communicating. I have slept with 3 guys, two virgins, and someone who apparently had a long list of previous partners. 1 virgin was awkward, but learned after just a few times, the other was extremely quick at picking it up, and I didn't even realize he was a virgin until he came clean later on, and the experienced guy was fucking terrible, and kept muttering something about "my ex liked this...", apparently being too retarded to realize girls like different things.

3 hours later 20632264 Anonymous
>>20632115 >have no experience, goes for girls with a lot of experience What the fuck are you doing anon.

3 hours later 20632275 Anonymous
>>20632254 You didn't even come close to touching the point I made about ridiculously irrational pride in assumptions. Look at this fucking yarn you're weaving about a purely hypothetical person. Holy shit. You remind me of politically-minded people who construct elaborate descriptions of people from other parties. Forget a straw man, you've thought though a straw colossus. Seriously Anon, take a step back for a second and tell me who this 28 year old with no license, job, etc. is. What's his or her name? Exactly. This is fucking scary. You're drawing conclusions about fictional situations just to reaffirm your feelings. You've taken practicing conversations in the bathroom mirror to a whole new level.

3 hours later 20632277 Anonymous
>>20632264 at his age all that's going to be available are scraps

3 hours later 20632281 Anonymous
>>20632253 Strange to get defensive like that, because I didn't say you said this. I just said it is just what we usually hear from manwhores here on /adv/, trying to defend STD riddled guys, who has dipped their dick in way too many pots of yuck. Because I agree with the OP post. I would never date someone who fucks around, and I'm a girl. I am looking for someone who has more or less the same partner count as myself, as most people tend to do. If you feel bad about being a virgin, look for girls with little experience. You wont get strange looks, even at the age of 28, if you go for the right girls. Consider the type you go for. Dolled up pretties are guaranteed to have had a lot of partners in their life. Avoid those. They something else. Go fke the unconventional and more introverted and shy ones.

3 hours later 20632288 Anonymous
>>20632275 Why are you whiteknighting this hard?

3 hours later 20632292 Anonymous
>>20632281 he would have to go after middle schoolers lmao

3 hours later 20632295 Anonymous
>>20632213 Your "acceptable reasons" and apparent condescendance towards people you date outs you as a lousy partner with a limited horizon. How you like them apples.

3 hours later 20632303 Anonymous
>>20632295 I'm in a great relationship and have zero issues finding interested parties, but you can picture me alone and suffering if it makes you feel better.

3 hours later 20632306 Anonymous
>>20632254 Oh shit man, i am not that guy but you just killed me right there. Like there is no way i can come back from this i should just kill myself. Or or or wqit for it... I can just try to imrpove aspects in my life thqt i can. Can learn to drive, can get fit and get a job. I mean take a chill pill and go easy on anons. Sure my situation is mostly if not all my fault, but people can be redeemed.

3 hours later 20632312 Anonymous
>>20632303 >I'm in a great relationship Ye, right But judgning by how you missed my point, you seem to be resistant to learning as well, besides your assumptions and condescendance. Won't do you good in that "great relationship" of yours, either.

3 hours later 20632325 Anonymous
>>20632254 >basic. If you're 28 years old and you don't have your driver's license, have never had a job before, or have never been with a chick in any way, even e-dating, you've failed as a human being OP here. I’m probably more physically fit and make more money than you do. Shut the fuck up you ignorant judgemental fuck

3 hours later 20632366 Anonymous
>>20632247 Because lying is bad

4 hours later 20632395 Anonymous
>>20632060 Man I can relate so much. It feels hopeless. I think I should just come up with some complex lies about past relationships.

4 hours later 20632401 Anonymous
>>20632395 I don’t think we should lie. I wouldn’t want a partner to lie to me about her past. So I won’t lie about mine

4 hours later 20632431 Anonymous
>>20632395 Just find a mommy gf like I did who found it endearing that I had no experience. After several sessions of blowing her mind, she was all over me.

4 hours later 20632439 Anonymous
>>20631860 Nobody with half a brain touts this, goddamn Anyone with any sense says 'decide for yourself how it is for you' Anybody who believes otherwise is probably a chronic single. The only person who can tell you about the ethical fabrics of these judgements is you. Nobody else should be allowed to define your view. As for why it happens, because stupid people, and stupid people are a permanent constant.

4 hours later 20632446 Anonymous
>>20632213 >get abused early on >go to therapy and try to bootstrap >"Sorry, you're too defective" Well fuck me I guess

4 hours later 20632472 Anonymous
>>20632292 You really don't. Go out more, and stop looking for obvious thots. You'll find tons of girls who are virgins or has at most a partner or two prior, and wont care about you being a virgin.

5 hours later 20632509 Anonymous
>>20631860 Well yeah, but most people are hypocrites. Women are pretty bad for it, but at the end of the day, so is just about everybody... myself included. You just see it in them more because you're more sensitive to it in this area of your life.

5 hours later 20632543 Anonymous (59602885.png 279x291 180kB)


5 hours later 20632555 Anonymous
>>20632543 We have a board for your kind. It's called /r9k/.

5 hours later 20632595 Anonymous
>>20631860 What you're doing is hunting for contradicting opinions to form a narrative. Loaded question fallacies, and this thread, are a waste of time.

5 hours later 20632601 Anonymous (225953-stranger.jpg 1280x1024 254kB)
You need to gain a holy experience

5 hours later 20632612 Anonymous
>>20631860 it's a coping mechanism. They know men don't want used up whores and rather than accept their behavior they want to change everyone else perspective on the matter. Evolutionary wise, men don't want a girl that has already had another males offspring. It's just instinct. They want THEIR genes to get passed on, not someone else. That's kinda how the whole survival of the fittest thing works out. For women, it doesn't really matter since their genes will get passed on no matter what so they really don't care how many partners someone has had. Just think about it for like 5 fucking minutes.

5 hours later 20632618 Anonymous
Girls like holy people Because they are filled with holy experience Forget about these bad boy fags Jesus is the way

5 hours later 20632630 Anonymous
>>20631884 The reason they reacted that way is simple: girls have life on easy-mode from all the guys that have hit on them that they can't believe that someone with no prior experience exists. Thus they think that something is wrong with that person.

6 hours later 20632706 Anonymous
The old "key that opens many locks" saying. Women attract men and men have to prove themselves. The better you're seen in the eyes of other women the more attractive you are.

6 hours later 20632710 Anonymous
>>20632612 Pause for a moment and consider the fact that you are as educated in evolutionary biology as my cat is in trigonometry.

6 hours later 20632712 Anonymous
>>20632630 "Girls have life on easy mode" is an opinion exclusively perpetuated by men that don't actually know or interact with any girls.

6 hours later 20632716 Anonymous
Women will say literally anything to make you mad. They're pretty much IRL 4chan posters, so much like a 4chandroid, dismiss them entirely.

6 hours later 20632767 Anonymous
>>20632706 >>20632612 >guys who has never talked to a woman in their life

7 hours later 20632805 Anonymous
>>20632712 I talk to them every day.

7 hours later 20632825 Anonymous
>>20632805 Sounds like you don’t listen though.

7 hours later 20632939 Anonymous
>>20632805 You either don't listen, or you talk to the wrong girls. I have never heard a girl in my life talk positively about a "player" who sleeps around. At best it was sluts who wanted a good dick, and nothing else. Certainly not anyone looking for a permanent partner.

8 hours later 20632982 Anonymous
>>20631860 I'm only at one partner because of a long term relationship (now ex) and I feel bad that someone else will have to be my second. :/ I'm even contemplating just to not date anyone else because of it. I don't like to judge people for lack of experience, since imo sex should be shared as an expression of love with your S.O.. But I always judge people if they have a giant list of sexual partners, male or female. It's not 'sexy' or 'hot'. It's just gross.

8 hours later 20632987 Anonymous
>>20632805 Asking the what veggies they'd like on their sandwich doesn't count.

8 hours later 20633064 Anonymous
>>20632805 Man you need to find different girls or check yourself if only the lowest rung of the opposite gender want to talk to you.

8 hours later 20633081 Anonymous
Alright guys, how do I find a virgin girlfriend? It seems so bizarre that most adult virgins are men.

8 hours later 20633105 Anonymous
>>20633081 It does indeed, because most statistics point towards a solid 30%+ of 25 year old women still being virgins. I'd wager most are just workers not putting any thought into dating, so they kinda fly under the radar for most guys, and when they never seek out anyone either, they just naturally stay single.

8 hours later 20633113 Anonymous
>>20633081 Virgin girlfriends are like desert mirages; the fact that you're chasing them makes them more and more unobtainable. Unless you've been raised in an ultra-religious environment (and even then, sexual chastity is real hit and miss) virgin women are generally wholly uninterested in guys that covet them for their virginity.

8 hours later 20633126 Anonymous
>>20633113 I'm looking for someone who feels the same way I do. I am not a religous person, but I can't imagine having common ground with a woman who things sex is simply fun and exciting. I actively avoided dating in high school because most of that seemed like useless drama and I wanted to wait until I had a real relationship.

9 hours later 20633143 Anonymous
>>20633126 >I can't imagine having common ground with a woman who things sex is simply fun and exciting. Yeah. I can't see any decent woman much less a decent virgin woman being interested in you. You're one of those morons who thinks not being a virgin is equivalent to being promiscuous. Maybe if you had actually bothered to make relationships in high school you would have some actual human and experience and you wouldn't have such a childish view of sex.

9 hours later 20633150 Anonymous
>>20632244 >A high partner count is great for people with a high partner count. Lol, nice coping but experienced guys will generally prefer a woman with a low number count even if he himself has a high one. The simple reason why society sees promiscuity differently for the two genders is because men have to do the approaching and move things forward which is a vulnerable and challenging position to be in, meanwhile women just have to decide yes or no. A man who got a lot of women has a lot of value, a women who fucked a lot of guys is cheap. Very simple. Damn, I even explained it without stuttering.

9 hours later 20633158 Anonymous
>>20632254 That reply is so harsh and arrogant, it sounds like you are severely hurt. Being inexperienced can be a hurdle but carrying a lot of beggage does as well.

9 hours later 20633181 Anonymous
>>20633143 No, I honestly do not have a problem with women who have lots of sex, its not like "they are destroying western society" or something like that. I don't think my view of sex is childish at all, it is just different. It is strange that you said "any decent woman much less a decent virgin woman", does that seem to imply that a non decent virgin woman might want me? Because you don't think that I am decent, and I would appreciate a woman who is similar to me, which by your standards would be not decent.

9 hours later 20633188 Anonymous
>>20633143 Wow you are such a good human being who made valuable human experiences With an ounce of self awareness you would realize all that hostility is not making you look better than the insecure incels. You are like the equivalent on the opposite end of the spectrum. Just another toxic person sporadically lashing out with no productive end goal in mind. You are blatantly insecure about this topic.

9 hours later 20633200 Anonymous
>>20633105 >a solid 30%+ of 25 year old women still being virgins. I don't think all women are sluts, but those figures... you must be baiting

9 hours later 20633205 Anonymous
Vid https://youtu.be/M9TlP-nkRyY

9 hours later 20633207 Anonymous
>>20631860 Youre letting them dictate the truth to you. You can control the narrative if you have the balls.

9 hours later 20633209 Anonymous
>>20633200 He is. According to a washington post article the figures are around 2% for women still virgins past that age, meanwhile men are around 13%.

9 hours later 20633210 Anonymous
>>20633207 OP here, how?

9 hours later 20633215 Anonymous
>>20633210 You're saying "why are they allowed to judge me, and I'm not allowed to judge them?" Because you let it happen. Because you think their opinions are more important than yours. If some insanely confident dude called them dumb sluts and laughed at them with unwavering certainty, they would fall in line. The structure of reality is malleable.

9 hours later 20633218 Anonymous
>>20633209 >tfw literal sexual selection cleaning a tenth of all male genetics every generation

9 hours later 20633222 Anonymous
>>20633188 You can insult me all you like but it doesn't change the validity of what I've said. Not being a virgin is not equivalent to being promiscuous. Thinking that those two things are equivalent and using that as the basis for developing a moral structure is devoid of nuance, logic and perspective. That statement is true regardless of how good of a person I am or now insecure I am. The other reality is also that having no experience in a subject extremely diminished your credibility. You can try to make this all about me if you like but I'll let you take a guess as to which logical fallacy that is. >>20633181 >I don't think my view of sex is childish at all, it is just different. Your perspective is uninformed, not different. >No, I honestly do not have a problem with women who have lots of sex, its not like "they are destroying western society" or something like that. You specifically said that you can't imagine having common ground with a woman who thinks sex is simply fun and exciting. Firstly, that's incorrect because you characterized a woman who isn't a virgin as someone who thinks sex is simply fun and exciting. That's a false characterization. Its also a pretty cruel one, at that. I bring it up because you've based your more framework on a kind of act and a kind of relationship you have no experience in. In my personal opinion I don't see anybody who believes such silly things having success in a truly committed relationship with a decently well-adjusted person. You covet virginity based on a concept you don't really know anything about.

9 hours later 20633241 Anonymous
>>20633222 The "fun and exciting" part was not referring to all non virgin women, just the type of woman I would be diametrically opposed to (who obviously wouldn't be a virgin). There are lots of shades in between them, that is just the one that stands the farthest away from me. I am sure there are a great number of women somewhat compatible with me who fell for the old "I you have sex with me I will love you", but I really don't think that is relevant. And I really doubt that having experience with something suggests a person who is fundamentally like me, but better. There are many different ways to view sexual relationships, just having sex does not make ones opinion on them "better" or "worse".

9 hours later 20633248 Anonymous
>>20633222 There is a big difference between a woman who has only had sex within relationships compared to a girl who goes out and has casual sex with strangers

9 hours later 20633256 Anonymous
>>20633218 Only problem is that women are choosing to mate with criminals and lowlife scum in general. This is why fathers used to choose the man that the daughter was going to marry.

10 hours later 20633283 Anonymous
>>20633241 >I am sure there are a great number of women somewhat compatible with me who fell for the old "I you have sex with me I will love you", but I really don't think that is relevant. This is where your perspective lacks wisdom and experience. You say "fall for" as if truly believing that you love someone for a period of time is some kind of trick. This is something that you would of learned had you ever built any relationships when you were young. Relationships and the emotions involved are much, much more complicated than that. Truly believing that you love someone is not a trick, OP. >There are many different ways to view sexual relationships, just having sex does not make ones opinion on them "better" or "worse". It doesn't have to do with better or worse. It has to do with informed and uninformed. I'm not opposed to the concept that you want someone who values sex in committed relationships. What I take issue with is your lack of any kind of first hand experience that would inform you as to exactly who these people are and what that relationship would look like. You make declarations about a topic you have no knowledge of. You should most certainly open yourself up to perspectives more informed than yours and the possibility that information may arise that could change what kind of person you believe is the perfect one for you. Its very difficult to claim that you specifically know which kind of person you're most compatible with in a relationship when you've never actually been in a relationship.

10 hours later 20633323 Anonymous
>>20633283 I was suggesting a situation where a man WAS tricking her, while she thought they were going to be married afterwards. Once again, this is only AN example, not THE example. By the way I am not OP, my first post was >>20633081 I don't see why you would expect me to have already had sex to suddenly only want to have have sex with a virgin, it seems counterintuitive. Or maybe you expect that any man who has had sex would not desire a virgin, then again there are a lot of men who still do that. It almost seems like some kind of morton's fork argument to make my desires seem "wrong". I don't think I can really be "informed" into believing that in actuality what I want isn't really what I want. I am not trying to by hostile, I truly believe I hold no hate in my heart, this is just what I am looking for in love. I think I am reasonably desirable, my choice to remain a virgin all throughout high school was done without any coercion. I am upset that by default people assume I can be lumped in with members of a borderline hate group who are incredibly insecure, particularly with their sexual inexperience.

18 hours later 20634432 Anonymous
>>20633150 >experienced guys will generally prefer a woman with a low number count even if he himself has a high one Yeah well, I'd wager most girls would as well when trying to settle, but good luck finding a low partner count willing to settle with a high partner count. >The simple reason why society sees promiscuity differently for the two genders No, *men* thinks it is different. Exclusively men.

18 hours later 20634440 Anonymous
>>20633209 >meanwhile men are around 13%. That seems super unlikely, given that men on average lose their virginity earlier. If such a huge amount of men are virgins by the age of 25+, their average would also be a lot higher, yet it isn't.

18 hours later 20634446 Anonymous
>>20633256 >This is why fathers used to choose the man that the daughter was going to marry. Yeah this turned out to not work out anyway though.

18 hours later 20634447 Anonymous
>>20634440 Or they never lose it at all and thus can't be included in the calculation of said average.

18 hours later 20634448 Anonymous
>>20634440 He's making shit up. Incels always have to, their narrative can't handle facts.

18 hours later 20634454 Anonymous
>>20633209 Source or you're lying. Virginity percentages cannot be that different for men and women.

18 hours later 20634463 Anonymous
>>20634454 Why couldn't they? As a man you need to be proactive, whereas a woman only has to react with a 'yes'.

18 hours later 20634471 Anonymous
>>20634463 They could also be the reverse, almost no virgin men and lots of virgin women. It would be logical because women are much more hesitant to give it away.

18 hours later 20634487 Anonymous
>>20632254 Why would you assume someone who haven't dated in a while wouldn't know how to compromise? Everyone compromises all the time. With friends, family and co-workers. Obviously some things are different, but you don't solve things by "last relationship, we did this". You need to work out how to do things in every couple. Also there are a systems to help you figure out how to get a job and drive a car, not having either by 28 means you are actively fighting those systems. With dating, we put up barriers to make it harder. It is very easy to not date someone. It is actually far more likely to not date someone than it is. Sure, you might think this means they don't put in the effort to experience something you enjoy, but it is very likely they just did other things.

18 hours later 20634490 Anonymous
>>20634454 If one guy takes the virginity of two women and they don't want to sleep with the other guys, there will be a difference. Not everyone have sex with one person and then stays with them forever

18 hours later 20634491 Anonymous
>>20632098 depends what you mean my "judge" I suppose. I wouldnt break up or stop seeing a guy because he's a virgin, never have before. but I certainly dont have high expectations when im with them in bed, and only hope they build experince with time. but like I said, when you get into the late 20s, there's usually a very distinct reason theyre still a virgin that becomes much more a problem in itself than the virginity itself

18 hours later 20634496 Anonymous
>>20634491 if a girl has slept with 25 dudes, it's usually a sign that they're not worth dating as well. It kind of goes both ways.

18 hours later 20634511 Anonymous
>>20631860 For any gender it's disheartening to think that your potential partner has been willing to be so intimate with so many people, because it implies they can move on from you like they did others, or that they will think little of any relations with you romantic or casual. If its romantic obviously it implies they won't think much of cheating on you or leaving you for someone purely more physically appealing; and if its casual it implies their "dirty" (which isn't a bad impression, great way to catch STD's if you wanna fuck someone who's fucked 20 people raw in the last 2 months alone). People try to push the idea that many past partners isn't bad because they don't want people to be put off having relationships with them (of any type) and some of them do it because they see those past partners not as cheap thrills but as honest mistakes. People are quick to judge lack of experience and unwilling to defend it because starting from the beginning with somebody emotionally or physically is draining and often doesn't work out. People who've never had those experiences don't know what they want out of it or how it works. It's not enticing to date a girl who has no idea how dates go, what she enjoys doing on dates, or how close she wants to be with you. For sex and no experience just imagine you get intimate with a girl, and the entire time you have sex she stays on her back not moving or doing any work, and before you cum she says shes done and you just stop before you get off. Sex is good if people know what the fuck to do, and there's actually a lot of depth to making it enjoyable for both partners. If your gonna take the chance on hooking up with a guy you hardly know you don't want him to get you in bed and nut in 30 seconds or have no idea what a clit is or how to hit your o-spot. tl;dr, too much experience gets a bad rap for reasons that are case by case true, and too little universally agreed bad for simple reasons.

18 hours later 20634519 Anonymous
>>20634490 Far more likely is that one girl takes the virginity of several men and most other girls don't want to have sex. It therefore follows that there must be far more virgin females than males.

19 hours later 20634557 Anonymous
>>20634496 if that's the point youre making then it's a bit apples to orange, I said that the virginity itself isnt usually the problem imo but other traits that cause the virginity. but if someone is a well (enough) adjusted virgin there isnt a problem. whereas your point is that the number of sex problems is the problem/red flag itself either eay it really doesnt matter, if someone dislikes that sole trait about you (lack of sex parters or a multitude of them) and makes a big deal of it, they wouldnt be right for you anyway

19 hours later 20634559 Anonymous
>>20634557 *number of sex partners

19 hours later 20634570 Anonymous
>>20633222 I'm >>20633188 . I never insulted you. I also didn't say virginity and promiscuity are the same. I said you are just as toxic and hostile as incels. I'm not interested in an argument, you just seem like self destructive unhappy person and I pointed that out.

19 hours later 20634572 Anonymous
>>20634557 No, I'd argue that a woman who has many sexual partners has some issues of her own. While I find it off-putting that she'd sleep with that many guys, it's not what I was referring to when I said it.

19 hours later 20634580 Anonymous
They're just non-thinkers

20 hours later 20634663 Anonymous
>>20631860 because they're sluts with a hidden sense of shame, that's why.

20 hours later 20634666 Anonymous
>>20634448 No kidding. It's pretty sad that the only statistics they ever use are from shit like Tinder, where there is obviously a specific target demographic, that heavily skews the statistics. The rest of their numbers are straight out of their ass. Even worse when you consider that these people actually think you are a failure as a human being if you die a virgin. *Tesla* died a virgin.

20 hours later 20634682 Anonymous
>>20634491 >when you get into the late 20s, there's usually a very distinct reason theyre still a virgin that becomes much more a problem in itself than the virginity itself As a girl, I find it's pretty easy to tell. There are some guys where I learn they are virgins through rumours mostly (so unconfirmed), where all I think is "no shit he is a virgin", because he generally has an awful personality, smells like garbage, and looks like he has never heard of the word "grooming". That's the type of people where learning they are virgins doesn't matter, they are clearly awful partners in the first place. Then there are the late 20s virgins you never even spot. I currently have a manager at my workplace, who let slip during a company party that he had never actually had sex, and nobody believed him. He is a nice guy, great looks, and could quite likely get someone with just a tiny bit of effort, or even just by reciprocating interest, but he just put all of his attention into his work. That's not so much a red flag, as just a person who prioritises differently. Hell, if he wasn't my boss, I would have loved to go out with him, he is literally perfect. Dating your boss is just... incredibly retarded, so I'm holding tight until one of us finds something different, and hopefully I still have a chance at that point. When people say "virgins are laughed at" what they mean is that "shit-tier guys are laughed at when people realize they are virgins, because it was way too obvious, and reveals they really have no hidden qualities".

20 hours later 20634683 Anonymous
>>20631860 It's the same reasoning, really - you shouldn't think of the number itself (whether it is 0 or 15), but the circumstances and the reasons behind it. You'd judge differently a very pretty and well adjusted woman who is virgin, and a crazy fat girl who is virgin. You'd judge differently a woman who slept with 2 long term boyfriends, and a girl who lost her virginity in a drunken threesome at 14 and was spit roasted by two black dudes, even if she hasn't fucked since. You'd judge differently (hopefully) a woman who had 3 FWB things in college, but is nice and well adjusted, and a girl who cheated on her boyfriend with 2 different dudes. Obviously, someone's sexual history shouldn't matter when it comes to your respect for the person, but only matter when valuing if your values are compatible and if they have any major red flag when getting into a relationship with them.

20 hours later 20634687 Anonymous
>>20634683 Whores should rot away

20 hours later 20634692 Anonymous
>>20634687 Hmm tell us what you really think? I swear this board is full of dramaqueens.

20 hours later 20634701 Anonymous
>>20634687 The choices other people make, especially when they don't hurt anyone, shouldn't really bother you this much.

20 hours later 20634708 Anonymous
>>20634692 They should have their heads cut off

21 hours later 20634749 Anonymous
>>20634701 Their choices could hurt other people tho. Promiscuous people are rolling the dice whether they will get STDs or not. It’s just a matter of luck. Even if they use condoms, condoms don’t protect against all STDs

21 hours later 20634755 Anonymous
>>20634666 Those are not even tinder data. The "tinder survey" was actually done by an incel sending a survey to 27 women. It had nothing to do with tinder.

21 hours later 20634808 Anonymous
>>20634755 >The "tinder survey" was actually done by an incel sending a survey to 27 women. I can't even laugh at that. That's just plain sad.

22 hours later 20634834 Anonymous
>>20631860 Kinda confused after reading through the thread. Is it lack of a relationship or lack of intercourse because I never though less of anyone, nor judged them if they never had intercourse. Now, if I go out with a 30 yo guy and he tells me he's never been in a relationship, I don't judge but I am puzzled why. Like, is he lying, is he afraid of women, does he hate women, a momma's boy, was he incarcerated as a teen or mental problems, incapable of commitment or too involved in his career? All legitimate questions.

22 hours later 20634836 Anonymous
>>20634808 There is another "study" that incels use as their bible that begins with "girls on tinder do smash a lot". It was actually a blog post meant to troll incels. It was completely made up, and it's pretty obvious to see it's fake. And yet incels treat it as a legitimate tinder study because it fits their worldview or women having lots of sex and men not.

22 hours later 20634845 Anonymous
>>20634834 Would you be offended if a guy asked you how many other guys you’ve slept with, and then asked you why you did it

22 hours later 20634854 Anonymous
>>20634834 I'm a 31 year old guy whos never had a relationship. I'll tell you my reasons. a) Severe social anxiety b) Major depression c) Demanding high standards of myself before I get involved in a relationship, d) Fear of intimacy I love people a lot, and want to have more relationships, I just find others are automatically rejecting me and I don't want to go through the pain again. But yeah, I'm starting to become disinterested in relationships altogether nowadays and just going 100% for my career. I would have jumped if a female approached me in my 20's and asked me out though. Never happened though. I talk to more women now as well as men, I don't see the reason really for moving past a platonic relationship nowadays. Course I like sex, but I don't understand when a woman is interested in a relationship with me or not, so I just make friends and can do no more than that, otherwise I might be seen as creepy.

22 hours later 20634856 Anonymous
>>20634834 I would hate women for thinking precisely this, you are fulfilling the self-fulfilling prophecy I didn't have a relationship because I didn't date because I didn't ask girls out

22 hours later 20634860 Anonymous
>>20634845 I would be offended because that is private and I know there will be follow up questions and no answer will be satisfactory. I went through it with my first bf as a teen and all I had done is a guy put his hand down my pants and played with my boobs. He never let it go and wanted to know exactly what I was thinking and why him and why did I do it. He would get all weepy and angry and take it out on me for ruining his love. Crazy stuff so I learned to keep my sex life between me and the guy I had sex with.

22 hours later 20634861 Anonymous
Idk I’m honestly not proud of the amount of people I’ve slept with because I regret a lot of them. I’m a dude btw. I get scared of having to tell a new girl I start dating, especially if they are younger because I know it’s going to dwarf their number.

22 hours later 20634863 Anonymous
>>20632712 It’s really IS hard, being a cis woman in a patriarchical society, right? Only leftist mutants would say something like that. “Women have it harder! We have to give birth!”

22 hours later 20634866 Anonymous
At the beginning of my first relationship I had only slept with 3 girls prior. My ex was a bitch and used to have digs at me that I had only slept with '3' women before. I'm now around 20 something and recent girl I dated was really put off when she asked how many. Is there any acceptable number?

22 hours later 20634869 Anonymous
>>20632939 All girls are sluts in their deepest heart, it’s just that most of them don’t have enough balls to accept their own raw sex desire and see their inner slut as bad or evil. If the situation is right, where they can be as slutty as they want while being liberated from judgment and insecurities, they would. All women want big dicks, they want gangbang, they want to wear revealing clothes, etc etc. It’s a rush of adrenaline for them, not guilt.

22 hours later 20634874 Anonymous
>>20634860 ok so let me ask this. If that is private, why isn’t my lack of past experience private?

22 hours later 20634876 Anonymous
>>20634861 What is it with you people? Guys and girls. I made the mistake while young of telling my gf my actual number and the relationship was never the same. See she thought it was 3 or 4 but I was at 9 already and then when she found out who some of the girls were, one a friend of hers, she lost it. My advise, never ever ever offer and if pressed for a number just say a few or only a long term ex which they would assume anyway and less likely to inquire details.

22 hours later 20634883 Anonymous
>>20634874 >why isn’t my lack of past experience private? It is private so you an I agree. I'm only saying lack of sexual experience is nothing to be ashamed of but I would be want to know why you were never in a relationship. Two different things.

22 hours later 20634898 Anonymous
>>20634866 >My ex was a bitch and used to have digs at me that I had only slept with '3' women before She did that because she knew her number was in the teens and needed your number to be closer to hers so she didn't feel like a slut. I've had that conversation. My number was 19 but she confessed to over 30 and less than 50. She already knew her number was excessive so she though by being with her male slut equivalent it wouldn't be so bad. She also happened to be the most jealous and possessive bitch I ever knew.

22 hours later 20634900 Anonymous
>>20634511 So people with experiences will continue having more experiences, people with NO experience will never have any either, since we’re supposed to expect rejection and shame. >no experience is bad, and it makes sense that level headed women rejects you for it. Therefore, ideally you shouldn’t have any experience, because if you do, it means that girl is acting out of the ideal scenario, aka making a bad decision by accepting a nonexperienced guy. What a trip. Virgins should stay virgin, because good people aren’t supposed to accept people with no experience. Dating a virgin is not a good look, it’s tainting your reputation, because you should want people to view you as the alpha wolf who only gets the best.

22 hours later 20634937 Anonymous
>>20634883 Yeah but to me that’s asking me lots of personal questions. You asking me “why haven’t you had a relationship” seems the same as “why did you fuck a lot of guys” they seem the same

22 hours later 20634940 Anonymous (91D3A6E1-D626-4885-8F3E-5150797D8986.png 650x530 111kB)
losing that first time decreases marital satisfaction because you get diminishing returns on the hormones and various chemicals released in the brain, and also because if you’ve fucked other women before she’s just not that special. And this is why women want men with experience, they hate the thought of their man being happy.

22 hours later 20634945 Anonymous
>>20634937 Why do you think some girl fuck a lot of guys?

23 hours later 20634952 Anonymous
>>20634937 >“why haven’t you had a relationship” I wouldn't ask like that. I would ask, so you never found the right girl? Then I would go ask everyone that knew you to find out what was really going on with you.

23 hours later 20634957 Anonymous
>>20634940 >2019 >posting meme graphs made by a religious anti-sex organization You don't actually believe that pseudoscientific garbage you just posted right? >muh chemicals >muh pair bonding

23 hours later 20634974 Anonymous
>>20634952 >Then I would go ask everyone that knew you to find out what was really going on with you. That’s pretty creepy and stalkerish desu. You’d just randomly try to figure out who his friends are and cold approach them and ask all of this shit. Wow. >>20634945 I’m not saying all do. But it’s the concept of the question

23 hours later 20635018 Anonymous
>>20634834 Incarcerated reporting Well, not incarcerated I got community service and probation Everyone thought I was dumb as hell so they didnt even bother bullying me.

23 hours later 20635028 Anonymous
>>20635018 I speaking of a long term imprisonment for something bad not mischief

23 hours later 20635051 Anonymous
>>20634974 >stalkerish no its called doing your homework to mitigate risk. Its dangerous out there for women. Its not the same thing. Relationship and sex and you pose the question and saying its the same. Like, no reason a girl could ever give will be acceptable to a guy and whatever she says will be forever questioned in an effort to trap her in a lie. While there are a multitude of reasons for someone forgoing a relationship. Some may be worrisome but many not at all. Like, you never met the right girl at the right time or you focused on your studies or travel or work since you had no safety net or you had a debilitating accident or illness you overcame. All admirable.

23 hours later 20635064 Anonymous
>>20635051 So If you haven’t met his friends yet you’re going to actively try to seek out who is friends are and contact them?

23 hours later 20635075 Anonymous
>>20635051 You don’t get it. Every girl who I’ve been out with has asked the same thing you did, but when they find out I haven’t had a relationship they ALWAYS inquire about sex. I’ve gotten both of these questions as follow ups to not having a gf- 1. “So you’ve only had sex in hook ups?” and 2. “Wait... are you a Virgin?”

23 hours later 20635090 Anonymous
>>20635064 No, but someone doesn't grow up in a vacuum, they have some reputation that is generally known. Now if no one know nothing at all about them I would be very wary.

23 hours later 20635092 Anonymous
>>20635051 Nah, its called being underhanded, aka a woman.

23 hours later 20635099 Anonymous
>>20635090 How are you suppose to question all of these people with a guy you only recently met and haven’t met his friends yet?

23 hours later 20635107 Anonymous
>>20635075 That doesn't sound judgemental at all but as I mentioned earlier, puzzling or surprised but thats it and certainly not a reason to back off if I like the guy. I see you guys wringing your hands over your virginity but girls could care less.

23 hours later 20635112 Anonymous
>M-MUH INCELS Every single thread. Yikes

23 hours later 20635118 Anonymous
>>20635092 So, on one hand its my responsibility to choose well or its my fault if I make a mistake and on the other hand I do due diligence to minimize risk I'm being underhanded? Men are insane and make shit up as they go to serve their purpose.

23 hours later 20635126 Anonymous
>>20635107 >”wait... are you a Virgin??” >not judgemental Yes it is. That’s an offensive thing to ask

23 hours later 20635131 Anonymous
>>20635112 They have been a plague on 4chan ever since they got kicked off reddit.

23 hours later 20635132 Anonymous
>>20635099 If I recently met him I wouldn't be giving him (or anyone) very personal answers to any question. I start with my friends. Like, hey I think he's cute you know anything about him? And nearly always they do or knows someone else that does.

24 hours later 20635140 Anonymous
>>20635131 The only plague is the people that cry "REEE INCEL" at every post they dont like

24 hours later 20635141 Anonymous
>>20635118 >inquiring about personal stuff via gossip behind his back is "due diligence" Women are hopeless hypocrits.

24 hours later 20635142 Anonymous
>>20635126 Wait, what, your good looking, I'm surprised you are a virgin

24 hours later 20635147 Anonymous
>>20635142 It’s offensive. It’s also them inquiring about my (nonexistent) sex life. What gives them the right to ask about my supposed sex life, but it’s (according to you) very offensive if I were to ask a girl about theirs?

24 hours later 20635157 Anonymous
>>20635140 Those are incels trying to distract posters fr having been called out.

24 hours later 20635161 Anonymous
>>20635141 huh, some is always gossip but you continue to inquire to determine fact from fiction. But lets talk about hypocritical men. They pursue and want a girl with a troubled sexual past, a past everyone knows about and yet they ignore and then it bites them and they blame the girl and call her a slut. See, she's not a slut so long as she's your slut. Shock, I admit some girls are sluts but we all know who they are, even the real sluts know themselves.

24 hours later 20635169 Anonymous
>>20635147 Do you have a reading comprehension problem? I said its private to ask about sex life boy or girl. I made the distinction concerning having a relationship or not. That includes current or past. (you wouldn't believe the number of guys that lie when they are married)

24 hours later 20635170 Anonymous
>>20635161 If a girl has casual sex, then she’s a slut. It’s that simple.

24 hours later 20635175 Anonymous
>>20634869 Not really. I've avoided dating, including hookups, due to lack of interest. I have had one boyfriend in my life, and I had a much higher sex drive than him, so I agree with you on the desire to be bad and need for sex, but that's literally only when I am in a relationship. When I dont have any guys I'm super interested in, I have no desire to express my sexuality. I know this is the same for most. The "dress up nice" is to look good among women to not get bullied, and to help improve a poor self esteem, not to attract guys.

24 hours later 20635181 Anonymous
>>20635170 So did you write the rule book or just its judge and enforcer? Anyway if you are OP, your statement tells me the real reason you are having difficulty. You are unwilling to tell a girl the truth and call her a slut to her face instead of trying to be the victim of her scorn.

24 hours later 20635184 Anonymous
>>20635175 I'm with you. Nothing makes me feel better about myself quicker than a nice fitting new outfit.

24 hours later 20635185 Anonymous
>>20635051 not the same poster, but thats definitely stalking and if I found my gf doing that to me, I'd dump her without question. If you are automatically not trusting people to begin with, what hope is there for the relationship to survive?

24 hours later 20635187 Anonymous
>>20635181 Are you going to pretend women who have casual sex aren't sluts? Like, I'm not going to argue if that is a good or bad thing, but to deny it completely is retarded.

24 hours later 20635188 Anonymous
>>20635181 It’s the definition by Webster dictionary. I’ve never called a girl a slut to her face. I have more class than that.

24 hours later 20635194 Anonymous
>>20635187 Not that anon, but some girls convince themselves that it’s not slutty. One of my female friends is a slut. She’s fucked more than 25 guys. But, I’ve actually heard her say how she doesn’t like slutty girls and thinks that “sluts are gross”.

24 hours later 20635209 Anonymous
>>20635175 I have a question. Do women get offended if you don't talk to them about personal stuff, but are ok talking about work stuff? Its workplace environment, I'm pretty quiet most times (The times when I do speak its about work), its not that I don't care about the women, it's just I want to keep my job.

24 hours later 20635213 Anonymous
>>20635185 I was responding about doing my homework pre relationship but I'm still going to err on the side of caution. What you describe is creepy and I should know, an ex bf would show up at my work when I wasn't even working that day and start asking questions and he wasn't even subtle. He was convinced there were guy customers in there all the time and I flirted with them.

24 hours later 20635214 Anonymous
>>20635170 I'm struggling to understand why anyone defends this. You can argue it isn't a bad thing to be a slut if you want, but casual sex is the definition of a slut. Though I'll be honest, I feel this way for both guys and girls, and it's equally weird to see them defend it. People shouldn't change their life because some strangers feels what they do is wrong, but they also can't expect others to think what they do is acceptable.

24 hours later 20635217 Anonymous
>>20635209 At work no and work related stuff is what you should be talking about anyway.

24 hours later 20635223 Anonymous
>>20635209 >Do women get offended if you don't talk to them about personal stuff, but are ok talking about work stuff? If it's a date, yeah, that would be unacceptable. >Its workplace environment, I'm pretty quiet most times (The times when I do speak its about work), its not that I don't care about the women, it's just I want to keep my job In a workplace environment, prying for personal stuff is unacceptable. You are free to talk to someone about private stuff if you want to, but your stance of "dont date where you work" is a smart one. If a coworker gets offended over you keeping it professional, she's a cunt.

24 hours later 20635225 Anonymous (1516763758941.jpg 623x842 144kB)
>>20635147 I'm a virgin and wouldn't take offense if I was asked really, I'm comfortable with who I am. When the topic of exes comes up I just say I've dated a couple girls, it didn't work out in the end but it was fun so I don't regret it either. If she questions why I'm relatively inexperienced at 26 I answer it took me a while to mature emotionally and work on myself to the point I felt ready to date. I think that's simple relevant information and on a first date I would not feel comfortable sharing details of my sex life regardless of its extent. >>20635169 I understand not everyone will be satisfied with my evasive answers but whatever. I don't expect I'll be compatible with most girls so I've accepted it's ok to take my time and find the right person rather than desperately rush into a failed relationship for the sake of it.

24 hours later 20635227 Anonymous
>>20635214 So the only way to not be a slut is to be in a committed relationship, married I assume, to have sex? If thats your benchmark 90% of humanity are sluts.

24 hours later 20635238 Anonymous
>>20634749 The fact that other people have STDs doesn't affect me at all. It affects only them, and the people who chose to have sex with them - but it's your responsibility to not put yourself in a position where you are at high risk of getting an STDs. I don't have sex with people without being in a monogamous relationship with them, being properly protected and getting tested beforehand.

24 hours later 20635240 Anonymous
>>20635227 >If thats your benchmark 90% of humanity are sluts. So?

24 hours later 20635241 Anonymous
>>20631860 >Why is it that people (especially women) Well it's not true though. I had a college friend who got leaved by his gf for this same reason. My current gf would probably have problems to stay with me if i were like that. Problem is, people tend to feel insecure about their partners past, especially if their past was more intense than theirs; the fact is, that it's more about pride than about objectively. In this board alone, i see way more posts about guys/girls experiencing desires to cheat/leave their partner because it's been their only one, than previous fuckboys/sluts feeling the same about their current partner.

24 hours later 20635245 Anonymous
>>20635238 Ok so you don’t slut around. That is good. But it is possible someone who did slut around could hurt you

24 hours later 20635257 Anonymous
>>20635245 lol "slut around". Who even talks like that anyway.

24 hours later 20635266 Anonymous
>>20635257 Deflection. You are either a slut or a white knight

24 hours later 20635270 Anonymous
>>20631860 Please tell me you're not asking women about their sexual past on the first date, are you? If so, they're not awkward because you only have 1 gf. They're awkard because you care more about a number and status than them.

24 hours later 20635273 Anonymous
>>20635270 Why are you assuming OP beings it up?

24 hours later 20635276 Anonymous
>>20635266 If I'm a guy who has slept with a couple of women. Doesn't make me a man-whore, player or slut or whatever. I'm just a guy who has slept with a couple of women. If I'm a girl who has slept with a couple of guys, doesn't make me a slut, whore or whatever - I'm just a girl who has slept with a couple of guys. Wait, what if I'm a tranny?

24 hours later 20635283 Anonymous (Caution.jpg 800x450 38kB)
>>20634940 > if you’ve fucked other women before she’s just not that special. If you believe that, you don't know how to fuck. It's a lot more than just PIV, you know.

24 hours later 20635287 Anonymous
>>20635276 >If I'm a guy who has slept with a couple of women. Doesn't make me a man-whore, player or slut or whatever. It does (if you were not in a relationship) >If I'm a girl who has slept with a couple of guys, doesn't make me a slut, whore or whatever It does (if you were not in a relationship) >Wait, what if I'm a tranny? It does (if you were not in a relationship)

24 hours later 20635289 Anonymous
>>20635245 Unless they raped me, no. Before having sex with my boyfriend, we got tested for STDs. I'd never have sex with someone without getting tested before. The only way is that he cheats on me with someone, that someone has an STD, he catches it and passes it to me. But it is kind of a long stretch.

24 hours later 20635298 Anonymous
>>20635273 Because women don't. On a first date, they are scouting you for other red flags.

24 hours later 20635308 Anonymous
>>20635287 how does judging others like this help you?

24 hours later 20635320 Anonymous
>>20635270 >>20635273 >>20635298 I don't have much dating experience, but on my last two dates the girl brought up her past to some degree. They didn't ask about mine though and I didn't volunteer it.

24 hours later 20635323 Anonymous
>>20635320 and? how many miles of cock have these sluts sucked?

25 hours later 20635331 Anonymous
>>20635323 probably not that much, that type of girl who posts her on ass on tinder isn't likely to go out with me

25 hours later 20635338 Anonymous
>>20635331 "bringing up their past" sounds sinister in a "dredging up the bodies" kind of way, and the body count may be higher than you think

25 hours later 20635363 Anonymous
>>20635308 What does that have to do with your other post?

25 hours later 20635457 Anonymous
Just do what you want and stop agonizing over people's opinions. Half of the population is irrevocably dumb. The other half are assholes with varied levels of self control.

25 hours later 20635474 Anonymous
>>20635227 >So the only way to not be a slut is to be in a committed relationship, married I assume, to have sex? If thats your benchmark 90% of humanity are sluts. Married is not a requirement for me, probably because I dont see the same value in marriage that a lot of people do. I could grow old with someone without getting married. I'm not that religious, and I dont buy into the commercial bullshit that most weddings are.

25 hours later 20635479 Anonymous
>>20634749 Not really. I would never sleep with a guy with a lot of previous partners, specifically because I dont want to take the risk. So I have 0 risk of being affected by their choice to fuck around.

27 hours later 20635682 Anonymous
>>20634957 >ignoring data because it’s inconvenient >thinking that the chemicals involved in an act that literally grows new people from raw materials can be safely ignored

27 hours later 20635707 Anonymous
>>20635682 Why don't you post a link to an article which shows these chemicals have the effect you described? With evidence that pair bonding lessens with each sexual partner because of muh chemicals?

27 hours later 20635752 Anonymous
>>20635707 http://staging-rise.s3.amazonaws.co m/38/3/872/jrbqvs7fc2klmdugidpw.pdf ?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAIZD5HUIXRXZ4FWD A&Expires=1742694441&Signature=7unJ OPhg3hKA4JKVnvLjTyQEN3A%3D these are one of the few species to share many of their mating behaviours with humans, and loss in pair bond ability is exactly what happens to them.

27 hours later 20635779 Anonymous
>>20635752 Nothing in there about "loss in pair bond ability". Incels like you never read the links you post. Most likely you only saw keywords here like "bonding" but could not understand the rest. Makes sense, it had been scientifically proven that those who identify as incels have an average IQ of 80.

27 hours later 20635782 Anonymous
>>20635779 >spending less time with mates doesn’t imply a weaker pair bond. are people really this dense?

27 hours later 20635802 Anonymous
>>20635782 The only way I can tolerate my bf is to get away from him sometimes. He was even trying to get a job where I work and thank god something came up better for me and I changed jobs. He's fine for about 3 or 4 hours at a time.

27 hours later 20635815 Anonymous
>>20635802 nonetheless, more partners is changing behaviour, the voles score much lower partner preference, so clearly they’re not as good at attachment used as they are fresh.

28 hours later 20635855 Anonymous
>>20632060 I'm not done reading this thread, but that hit close to home. I'm 31 and in the same situation, although I took a different route to get there. I put all my energy into work because I thought that'd be a better use of time than relationships. I have a cool job and make very good money as a result, plus they just keep giving me more. So it's not all bad, but I doubt I'll ever find someone to have a relationship with because of all the reasons this thread is delving into.

28 hours later 20635881 Anonymous
>>20635815 Where did you get this from? Nothing like this is said in your links.

28 hours later 20635883 Anonymous
I almost always ask guys for their dating history. Mostly because I am looking for 3 things: >1. Liars. These are obvious. Clearly lying about this is a huge red flag, that nothing will ever make up for. If you lie about stuff like this, you'll lie about far worse topics. >2. Fuckboys who has slept around or had a string of quick relationships. >3. Guys who react negatively to the question. I'm 28, which obviously affects these. But out of a total of 12 dates, 7 of them were virgins, 5 hit group 3, and the last 2 didn't. The problem isn't that they are virgins. The problem is that they get super defensive, hostile, and angry. That sort of insecurity or deep rooted issues isn't something I want in a grown man. The last two were not confident, but they owed up to it. Their reacted was basically the same, a small smile, a sigh, and shake of their head, and a "what can I say, I just haven't put in enough effort into dating until now", which is a really good answer. Not everyone prioritises it, and that's perfectly fair. Even if they did prioritise it, developing in the process is also a good thing. Virginity is not an issue in a guy. The reason is. If the reason is valid (I didn't try enough is perfectly valid), and you can accept why, then it isn't an issue either. Of course, this is coming from a girl who is extremely stingy and selective with relationships. I've had one I burned myself on, and I'm not doing this again unless I'm sure. I'd rather be single than have a short fling with some worthless guy I can't imagine marrying.

28 hours later 20635888 Anonymous
>>20635881 >Partner preference was tested by placing male voles in the center chamber, with their female partners tethered in one chamber and an unknown stranger female tethered in the other. Males were tested with their first female mate, their fifth female mate, and their tenth female mate. >Our data suggest that prairie voles display a limited capacity for rewritable fidelity, as exemplified by the declining time spent with familiar female mates over several breeding generations. partner preference declined every time the voles were re-paired with new mates.

28 hours later 20635911 Anonymous
>>20632038 >>20632032 But isn't this point of what OP's saying? Most people will judge him if he tells them about his lack of experience but if you told him you'd slept with 20 different men he'd be hounded for judging you.

28 hours later 20635940 Anonymous
>>20635883 >I almost always ask guys for their dating history Girls asking questions like that right of the bat is big red flag. Had this happen to me a few times and dropped the impudent bitch on the spot.

28 hours later 20635958 Anonymous
>>20635883 and you're not bothered if they ask you how many guys you've slept with?

28 hours later 20635959 Anonymous
>>20635888 >attempt to artificially change partner fidelity >some change occurs Are you incels dumb or liars or both? Nothing here supports your angry virgin theory of "pair bonding actually exists and with each sexual partner lessens". Why do you ignore facts such as, marriages to virgins are the most unhappy and result in the most cheating?

28 hours later 20635963 Anonymous
>>20635940 Seconded. In fact, there's a lot of things that cause an instant drop for me, and that's very important. You have to have a line in the sand and you have to decide for yourself, 'what am I putting up with?' Girls who ask about my dating history are all the same anyway: they have this preconception about me that they desperately want me to fulfill and I never do and I'm never interested in it.

28 hours later 20635986 Anonymous
>>20635940 >>20635963 Fine by me. I want someone who isn't afraid of being open about who he is. If you are too immature about opening up, you aren't ready for the sort of relationship I am looking for. Best you break it up right away. >>20635958 Not at all, because as I said, I have slept with 1 in total in my life.

29 hours later 20635990 Anonymous
>>20635986 >Not at all Well that's fine then I think. It's the blatant hypocrisy of so many people that angers me.

29 hours later 20635993 Anonymous
>>20635986 Fine by me, too. I wouldn't want some brash, insensitive and classless hussie that justifies such behavior by feigning maturity.

29 hours later 20635997 Anonymous
>>20635883 Seems like a healthy approach. Are these guys from tinder or some other dating site?

29 hours later 20636010 Anonymous
>>20635959 Virgins at marriage report the highest satisfaction of any group, the hell are you talking about?

29 hours later 20636036 Anonymous
>>20636010 No they don't. They are statistically unhappy.

29 hours later 20636047 Anonymous
>>20636036 This is quantifiably untrue in every study that's been published. Baseless claims are baseless

29 hours later 20636071 Anonymous
>>20636047 >incel saying studies are false and baseless unless they agree with him

29 hours later 20636072 Anonymous
>>20635990 >It's the blatant hypocrisy of so many people that angers me. That's understandable. >>20635993 Why exactly do you feel it is this bad? Do you really prefer to keep secrets until you've wasted valuable time dating someone? Just trying to understand why exactly you get so angry over my posts. I'm rather curious about it, it would be nice to understand what exactly makes it such a sore topic to guys like you.

29 hours later 20636083 Anonymous
Do prostitutes count? I’m not very socially skilled but since I was 21 I hire hookers every week, I’ve never had a real relationship but I do get laid a lot

29 hours later 20636086 Anonymous (index.jpg 259x195 9kB)
>>20635883 >I'm 28, which obviously affects these. But out of a total of 12 dates, 7 of them were virgins, 5 hit group 3, and the last 2 didn't. How old were they? That's critical here... Were they also 28? This is basically me. Nobody would know by looking at me and talking to me until you start asking for specifics. It's hard to be secure when you have things like pic related. Anecdotally many people will not be ok with this even if you focused on work and other things.

29 hours later 20636087 Anonymous
>>20636071 >thinking that throwing around the word "incel" invalidates acedemic studies. What fucking 'study' are you even referring to? Some blog post about virginity being a sexist concept because "mug feels"?

29 hours later 20636104 Anonymous
>>20636072 I already told you twice. It's tactless to come out like that on the first(ish) date. Let me give you an example of what would happen if tried to "maturity probe" me like that. >you'd ask >you'd get your answer, no problem >you'd also lose my respect >we would not go on another date

29 hours later 20636112 Anonymous
>>20636086 >How old were they? That's critical here... Were they also 28? More or less. I think the youngest was 26, the oldest was 32. The thing is, it's not a problem that you are technically an "incel", as long as you don't show obvious hate. Because some actually do that. Personally, and that might make me a minority, I don't have an inherent issue with insecurity. I want someone with a low partner count around the age of 30, so I kinda know what I'm going for, and those kinds of people will understandably be insecure.

29 hours later 20636118 Anonymous
>>20636083 You could take the angle that all women are whores anyway.

29 hours later 20636142 Anonymous
>>20636118 Yes they are, they only care for money and looks, I’m just takin a shortcut, instead of listening to their shit I pay them to do the act and leave, so it’s like I have tons of girls anyways

30 hours later 20636239 Anonymous
>>20636104 >It's tactless to come out like that on the first(ish) date. That's not really fully explaining why it's such a huge dealbreaker. Do you have a problem with with girls who has slept with a lot of partners? If yes, when do you normally try to identify this?

33 hours later 20636781 Anonymous
>>20635911 Welcome to white knight central.

38 hours later 20637480 Anonymous (1322531676570.png 317x387 44kB)
Every situation is different, really. I was a shut-in robot all throughout my college studies until a housemate hooked me up with one of her friends in my final year. I didn't have to do much at all. Now that I've gotten the (completely overblown) "virgin fear" out of my system, I would certainly prefer to find a solid relationship than to go looking for one-night stands - but that's a different hurdle altogether.

39 hours later 20637593 Anonymous
>>20631919 this is good >>20631927 You could also simply say you were a late bloomer. What matters most of all is the way you answer, not so much the answer itself

40 hours later 20637825 Anonymous
>>20631860 It's because it IS hypocritical, and they want justification to sleep with anything that has sub-15% bodyfat and a pulse. They know it, you know it, and they want you to justify it. Don't. >>20631876 >t. incel projecting As to why girls seem offput by "no experience" it's because they see a guy with no experience as defective, there's something wrong, and they don't want to be the one that steps on the landmine. It's why you find girls that chase married dudes- obviously, he has something worth wanting. Money, power, a dick that requires its own sock to stay warm, something.

43 hours later 20638131 Anonymous
>>20635990 blatant lie. just about anything will anger you and if nothing is there you'll fabricate an issue

43 hours later 20638156 Anonymous
>>20635940 >dropped the impudent bitch on the spot You have a very high opinion of yourself to believe this is a punishment of the worst kind. Its not hard to expose ignorant assholes with the right questions that throw them off their "game" I had the misfortune to accept dates with guys like you anon and why I always have an escape route planned. So if I see you squirm red faced because your sham life is exposed I head to the ladies room, but out the door and call an uber and never return to you. I proudly left 5 dates just sitting there all puffed up thinking they were in control. HaHaHa fuckin Ha

43 hours later 20638161 Anonymous
>>20636083 You are using prostitutes for what they were intended but keep this secret from any prospective mate.

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