4chan archive /adv/ (index)
2018-03-04 04:03 19320731 Anonymous (HazfK7d.png 385x360 318kB)
I get help for my bpd but its literally tearing my life apart. I avoid getting into serious relationships with other people as to not hurt them and I'm fully aware of what I'm capable of, I'm just upset I can't live like everyone else. should i blow my brains out

5 min later 19320750 Anonymous
>>19320731 >I avoid getting into serious relationships with other people as to not hurt them why the fuck would you do that

11 min later 19320767 Anonymous
>>19320750 You obviously haven't had BPD. It's easy to destroy people and were often not even aware of how much destruction we're causing.

15 min later 19320781 Anonymous
>>19320750 People with BPD are usually manipulative and I don't really wanna cause harm to people. This is more of a bit of a rant post because no one I know irl knows I have BPD so I can't rant to anyone I know but I would love advice from other people with bpd on how to handle it more (I was diagnosed last year and I'm still new to figuring myself out.)

29 min later 19320835 Anonymous
>>19320781 I have it. But I've thought a LOT about all of the fucked up shit I've done over the years. I'm still very manipulative but I keep it in check for the most part by being very open and honest with my loved ones. I mean i can still influence and sway them easily but it's nothing too major or harmful imo.

35 min later 19320850 Anonymous
>>19320835 How manipulative can you get? I think i might have too without realizing it. What about times when i want to be around someone and im talkative and then another day i avoid people because i want to be alone? Is this a simptom?

45 min later 19320865 Anonymous
>>19320850 >What about times when i want to be around someone and im talkative and then another day i avoid people because i want to be alone? Is this a simptom? It's a bit more than just being manipulative but generally your social actions gauge it but nah that seems normal, with me its more like, im really talkative and i want everyones attention but then five minutes later i can get mad at everyone and have a public breakdown.

1 hours later 19320916 Anonymous
I feel like I might have BPD. I just don't want to self-diagnose. I'm in a relationship right now. I really love this person. But some days I feel almost disgusted, for no reason. The attraction is gone, I don't want to talk. Like I want to start pushing away/leave. I've done it with everyone I have dated because I figured maybe we just weren't compatible. Now I'm realizing it can't be that. Especially because one day I feel completely enamored, the next... as I already said, disgusted. I'm taking a different approach now, and just trying to push through those days. And it seems to go away on it's own and I return to normal. But it makes me feel like shit regardless... I haven't told my current s.o about those moments. I fear it will do more harm than good. Maybe scare them away as they have had really bad luck in the past with partners. As far as being manipulative goes... I used to be emotionally manipulative. Using my depression as leverage. I've grown past that, realizing how fucking horrible it really is as I got older and less selfish. I analyze what I am doing better. Now if I manipulate it is very purposeful, and pretty harmless. Like teasing people I am into while making it seem fairly innocent of intention.

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