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2018-03-04 03:12 19320553 Anonymous (friends-haha-humor-lol-Favim.com-683916.jpg 497x367 30kB)
Hey /adv I'm a 24 y/o female with 3 glasses of rosé in. If you want to get something off your chest or want to ask a female some advice, feel free!

0 min later 19320556 advicegal
Forgot to make my name (blame the wine)

2 min later 19320562 Anonymous
>>19320553 Why do you have such poor taste in wine?

3 min later 19320566 advicegal
>>19320562 You don't like rosé?! What would you recommend?

3 min later 19320567 Anonymous
>>19320553 Why are you attention-whoring?

5 min later 19320573 Anonymous
Bait

5 min later 19320574 Anonymous
What rose' is it? rose' isn't shitty unless it's certain rose' Don't insult valid production styles

5 min later 19320576 advicegal
>>19320567 Not attention whore-ing, sometimes people want a response in real-time... Also wine doesn't help (;

6 min later 19320579 Anonymous
>>19320553 I'm a 34 dude on a night shift. I have half empty bottle of pepsi and a sandwitch. Do you want some questions answered?

6 min later 19320580 advicegal
>>19320574 Right now, I'm drinking Whispering Angel rosé

7 min later 19320584 advicegal
>>19320579 What kind of sandwich are you eating?

8 min later 19320589 Anonymous (8884.jpg 400x400 27kB)
>>19320553 hey DUDE

8 min later 19320590 Anonymous
>>19320584 Bread with Ham

9 min later 19320594 advicegal
>>19320589 Hey girl

10 min later 19320597 advicegal
>>19320590 No cheese? Sounds kinda dry

11 min later 19320601 Anonymous
where do i find a loyal gf

12 min later 19320602 advicegal
>>19320601 Not the internet haha Probably a close friend

16 min later 19320617 Anonymous
>>19320553 What are the rules for LDR? How much time should pass before meeting in person? Should sex happen the first irl meeting? How much time before moving in together?

16 min later 19320619 Anonymous
>>19320553 Ok i'll play. How would I go from a really beautiful and sexy ex that had an ok personality, to someone who has a better personality but is less attractive?. I mean I don't want to be vain but I really can't help it.

19 min later 19320628 Anonymous
>>19320566 As a general rule I recommend wines you can't buy at Costco

19 min later 19320629 Anonymous
Say you meet a guy and you're attracted to him, but you don't see him often and he doesn't go for you. Fast forward three months or so, and he asks you out. Is the iron too cold, or would you still be open to it and just assumed he had something going on?

20 min later 19320630 Anonymous
>>19320580 Drink a rose' from Provance, France. Make sure it's younger and pinker.

20 min later 19320632 advicegal
>>19320617 I would say you should meet within 6 months-8months since you've been talking (but it really depends what the distance is between the two of you). But facetime/skype should be a must. Sex shouldn't necessarily happen on the first meeting, but if you both talked about it and you feel the chemistry there then go for it. Moving in is a conversation that both parties must have in person. That's already more than an emotional commitment, you both have to make sure your finances are in order.

21 min later 19320635 Anonymous
>>19320597 I got it from another night shift dude. >>19320619 Im taking the question advicegal! How much sex in a relationship did you have? 98% of relationships isnt sex so why are you focusing on 2% of it. If its easier and more fun to be around your new partner you just upgraded.

23 min later 19320646 advicegal
>>19320619 Well, how is that a question? It seems like you already went to the person who you fit with mentally. I think you just have to ask yourself the question: Body or Brains? You can't have cake and eat it too. Personally, I would pick the person you're mentally attracted to. It's easy to find someone hot but its very hard to find someone you can have a good conversation with.

24 min later 19320649 Anonymous
If i were to approach and talk to this girl from school who doesnt know me, is it weird? Or does it only get weird if you make the convo weird?

24 min later 19320650 advicegal
>>19320628 I didn't buy it at Costco D:

25 min later 19320655 advicegal
>>19320630 Oh, i love a light pink rosé, I do usually by French rosé, do you have any recommendations?

26 min later 19320661 Anonymous (1463271846928.jpg 582x582 50kB)
>>19320553 Get ready to take a hard drink for this one. I'm a 23 y/o kissless virgin and I'm considering buying my first sex toy but I'm not sure what to get or if I should just abandon the idea altogether. I mainly masturbate just my clit so I'm considering just getting a clit vibrator, but I'm also tempted by a few different dildos because of my kinks. I'm also uncertain about sizes/colors/etc if I do get one since I'm not sure of what I'd like best. And then the there's the thought of just throwing all that away because I'm inexperienced and blah blah save yourself for your husband blah blah religious guilt/misogyny and all that jazz. I'm already an ugly roastie thanks to genetics so I'm beginning to doubt why I should continue to live as a goddamn puritan. This is all a huge personal dump but I don't have any sisters/in-laws to talk to and my parents rarely fuck anymore and have old fashioned views so my mother is no help in this department. And help/insight on my situation is vastly appreciated.

28 min later 19320664 advicegal
>>19320649 It's not weird at all. Girls don't mind it if you talk to them (I mean it, men)! You just have to say something relevant and not look nervous haha

29 min later 19320666 Anonymous
>>19320602 >Probably a close friend how do I make friends?

32 min later 19320674 advicegal
>>19320661 GIRL! Don't worry, we've all been there. Go to a local sex store and they will help you. I would go with a clit vibrator as a starter but that's my opinion. But honestly, bite the bullet and go to a sex shop and the people that work there are so understanding and non-judgemental whatsoever. Just let them know what you like and they'll help you out. And just remember, we're all inexperienced and that comes with time (; If you have any other questions, I would love to help you.

33 min later 19320678 advicegal
>>19320666 Well do you have anyone that you're thinking of when you asked the previous question? Do you have a situation that I can advise you on?

34 min later 19320681 Anonymous
>>19320678 nah, ive never had a female freind

35 min later 19320683 advicegal
>>19320681 Have you gone on any dates lately?

35 min later 19320685 Anonymous
>>19320661 how ugly are we talking here?

36 min later 19320690 Anonymous
Thx op ima talk to her

37 min later 19320696 advicegal
>>19320690 Good Luck :)

38 min later 19320700 Anonymous
>>19320683 not since high school that was 4 years ago

40 min later 19320706 advicegal
>>19320700 You should get yourself out there! Try tinder/bumble if you're shy Sometimes its easier to talk to someone behind a screen

41 min later 19320708 Anonymous
>>19320553 Girls said I was creepy and scared them in high school and I never knew why. I've been scared to approach women since because of that. How do I avoid coming off like that?

43 min later 19320709 Anonymous
>>19320706 honestly i think im way too picky and i dont know how to solve it. I dont no if its just me being nervous or what

43 min later 19320711 advicegal
>>19320708 Ok. So, some girls are assholes (ESPECIALLY in high school) Fuck her. Go out there, approach women. Why is some girl from high school still crippling you? You really want her to have that power over you? Honestly, go talk to a girl -- whats the worst thing that could happen? She doesn't talk to you? That's peanuts to not living a full life

44 min later 19320712 Anonymous
What do you think about eating ass? I'm curious about it and would like a suggestion on how to bring it up with a future gf

45 min later 19320714 advicegal
>>19320709 I think you should make a list of things you like in a girl physically/mentally and have that list in mind when you're looking for a potential girl Don't do more than a top 10 and remember there is no such thing as perfection

46 min later 19320719 advicegal
>>19320712 The girl eating ass or vice versa?

50 min later 19320728 Anonymous
>>19320719 Both? I want to do it for sure, my problem is that I don't want to push someone away by asking to eat their ass (lots of people are very sensitive around their butt) How would you want to be approached about it? Would you be ok with it?

52 min later 19320736 Anonymous
>>19320714 very true, the weird thing is though that aside from hygiene physical appearance doesn't really bother me at all. Its the little things that really irk me. Like if a girl says something that just rubs me the wrong way i immediate dismiss her in my mind.

53 min later 19320740 Anonymous
>>19320706 Im the nightshift dude. To me its other way around. Talking to people I know when not in person is way harder. You miss all the jokes and reactions. Texting and messenging is a chore. Especially on tinder and shit like this. You are a woman you dont know the shit guys have to go through to find someone decent on those apps. Women think that they are something special just for having profile on the app. Women dont start conversations and they are quick to end them without warining.

54 min later 19320742 advicegal
>>19320728 It depends how far you've been with this girl and how adventurous she's with it. To most girls, having their ass eaten isn't too bad but doing it to a guy may be a turn off

58 min later 19320755 Anonymous
>>19320711 It was a lot of girls. Like, almost all of them. I was an outcast with one or two pity friends.

58 min later 19320756 Anonymous
>>19320740 Im a guy too and i feel like most of the positives of my personality are lost in translation to text. My style of humor just doesn't translate well.

59 min later 19320758 Anonymous
>>19320742 Thanks for reply Again how would you want to be approached about it? Would you be up for it?

1 hours later 19320765 Anonymous
>>19320756 Yeah. Bad opening line - she's not going to respond Trying to joke and she didnt got it - ghosted She's talking with dozen - she forgot to respond She looks through your photos and sees something that reminds her of someone she hated - forget about it Shit like this. This online dating is womens and players game. Decent guys avoid for a reason.

1 hours later 19320772 Anonymous
Are you normal?

1 hours later 19320774 advicegal
>>19320755 Well, only you know that right? Try something new, talk to people you usually don't

1 hours later 19320780 advicegal
>>19320736 Whats your ideal type of girl anon?

1 hours later 19320788 advicegal
>>19320740 Are you usually on the night shift? PS I'm loving this tinder prospective!

1 hours later 19320793 advicegal
>>19320758 I think its good to get her in a nice, provocative mood. Talk a little sexy to her, tell her what you like that she does and vice versa and that conversation would lead into what you both would like from each other. PS a little wine doesn't hurt (;

1 hours later 19320797 advicegal
>>19320772 I'd like to think so

1 hours later 19320804 Anonymous
Just from your perspective, if you're attracted to a guy, does it matter how long it takes for him to ask you out?

1 hours later 19320805 Anonymous
>>19320788 Not always. Im working on 12/24 system so every third day and not all nightshifts are easy ride like today.

1 hours later 19320807 Anonymous (1458689311355.png 1597x1600 1636kB)
>>19320793 Thank you for the suggestion >you are much better than my irl friends that just meme about it pic related

1 hours later 19320811 Anonymous
>>19320780 a girl who is a prude in public but lewd with me

1 hours later 19320812 advicegal
>>19320804 It does, I would give it a few weeks -- month TOPS for him to ask me out after we've had a few good conversations. If its not going to lead anywhere, whats the point.

1 hours later 19320820 advicegal
>>19320805 So you do have some time off where you can go to a bar or something? I think you should go to places that interest you, a museum, concert etc. and look around there, because you would already have something in common from there

1 hours later 19320827 advicegal
>>19320807 You're welcome :) If you have any other questions, feel free to ask

1 hours later 19320830 advicegal
>>19320811 Well that's any girl that is in a relationship lol. More specifics and maybe less sexual?

1 hours later 19320840 advicegal
Hey friends, Should I get a tinder or bumble?

1 hours later 19320851 Anonymous
>>19320820 nah I'm cool. I dont use tinder and shit like this - I dont have to. I installed it some time ago to see what's the fuss about and uninstalled it the next day. It boggles my mind why some normal dudes try to use it. Its a fucking waste of time. I meet women in bars, boardgames club I sometimes go to and just wherever. Yesterday I set up a date with a girl I met on some concert by lame basement band. There were like 12 people on the concert and I think I was the only guy there that wasnt friends or family of the band.

1 hours later 19320855 Anonymous (0d6.jpg 500x500 44kB)
>>19320674 Thank you OP, I'll definitely take that into consideration. Again, my folks are so dry that they've always talked like sex shops are some nightmare place you should never go to but what you say sounds undoubtedly more rational. I'll also ask one more thing, ideally where's the best place to take fashion inspiration from? There's always whatever's being sold in shops and on mannequins but there's also what's popular on social media (IG, Pintrest, Youtube, etc.) and what you see on tv shows/movies. I'm finishing up my gen ed and the things I see other girls wear often range from fandom wear to athletic wear to casual jeans/sweats/hoodies/etc. /fa/ is alright but /cgl/ seems to have better beauty advice of the two. What do you think? >>19320685 Ugly rough skin and scars, average to disappointing body. Been bullied my entire life so I've accepted my fate of becoming a old cat lady.

1 hours later 19320863 advicegal
>>19320855 No worries, I'm here to help! First, you should find something that you're comfortable wearing and that would suit your body type. I prefer ASOS, Zara, and Topshop (i do most of my shopping online). There is a lot of variety in those stores (especially ASOS). Don't copy what other girls are wearing and be yourself. Fads fade but fashion stays forever (; Also, for skin problems try and use face masks and creams (I'm a huge fan of Korean facemasks/creams, they do a great job!) also, make sure to have sunscreen on every time you leave your house no matter if the sun is out or not. Dark spots happen because of the sun

1 hours later 19320873 Anonymous
>>19320855 Take some advice from a guy. Dont copy youtubers or people from social media. Go to good classy restaurant but one where people go for casual meetings and just look around what are women wearing there. Take inspiration from them. This could be fun to even find a place like this so take a girlfriend and explore.

1 hours later 19320876 advicegal
>>19320873 Definitely, agree with this! Go to classy places and see what the women are wearing there and try to emulate it.

1 hours later 19320884 Anonymous
>>19320830 >Well that's any girl that is in a relationship lol. i feel like that's not the case in my experience but I'm sure you would know better than i would. Anyways, i guess i don't really know how to put it specifically but i love ranting. Ranting about anything, my passions even nonsensical shit. If a girl can just put up with me doing this, by just quietly nodding and listening i would seriously marry her. I rarely show this side to anyone and the two girls i did had to be opinionated, get a word in or argue. I get that she's probably just trying to add to the conversation but i don't want that. I don't mind if the girl enjoys talking, i just hate being interrupted. I also love girls who are overly optimistic or happy, they dont have to be all the time but complaining about something every day grates me. I also love women who are diligent with household tasks. They don't necessarily have to know how to cook or clean i wouldn't mind teaching them, but if they say the hate it i would hold it against them. I'm not a clean freak but I like things relatively clean and in order sorry if that was too much to read

1 hours later 19320921 Anonymous
>>19320812 Got it, thanks. How about another situation, where there's obvious attraction between two people but no real big talks, just two acquaintances that have known each other a few months?

1 hours later 19320928 Anonymous
I need to get this off my chest. Tonight i had a hyper realistic dream about my husband cheating on me. It still feels very real. In the dream, he had a gf since over a year. Both his parents and his brother knew and they just accepted it. I was at his parents house and there was some sort of birthday party. He introduced me to a girl and later i catched them making out. I got very upset and then he told me that he‘s been in a relationship with her for a long time already. I felt so defeated and dumb. In the dream, i started to gather my things and put the kids into the car. Then i woke up. I still feel like utter shit.

1 hours later 19320930 advicegal
>>19320884 No that's fine anon but I think a relationship is a bit of give and take. You're going have to sort out what you can let go of and what is a nonnegotiable towards not only what you see physically attractive but also characteristics. I think you should remind yourself that the perfect girl doesn't exist but that you can settle for something close

1 hours later 19320934 advicegal
>>19320921 Well, in that case, I would try and get a conversation starting one way or another. If you see something in the other person, someone has to initiate something. From there you can see if you have anything common aside from physical attraction

1 hours later 19320939 Anonymous
>>19320655 fleurs de prairie is a personal favorite

2 hours later 19320943 advicegal
>>19320928 A dream is a dream. You can't help what you dream but definitely don't take it out on your husband, he didn't do anything wrong in reality. Usually, our dreams reflect our fears and this is a common one (a significant other cheating). If anything, tell him your dream and how silly it was, he'd appreciate it and comfort you and let it go after that

2 hours later 19320946 advicegal
>>19320939 I'll have to check it out! Thanks :) How about sparkling rosé, any suggestions?

2 hours later 19320951 Anonymous
>>19320928 Yeah guys have this too but we dont dream about it. The root is a mix of admiration to your guy and deeply rooted insecurities. You deeply belive that your guy is so awesome that many women are after him and you belive that you arent good enough for him so its no brainer that he has someone on the side, someone better than you. Most of the time its just bullshit.

2 hours later 19320954 Anonymous
>>19320934 Thanks! Time to stop being a bitch and talk to her next time we dance.

2 hours later 19320957 advicegal
>>19320954 Text her now anon!! :)

2 hours later 19320961 Anonymous
I really want to ask out a girl I don't get to talk to much. We say hi's and bye's to each other when we see each other, and have held a few small conversations, but other than that we rarely talk. What's my best plan? Should I just ask her directly for her number? I have a party coming up next month I'm going to, would it be weird to ask her as a date?

2 hours later 19320967 advicegal
>>19320961 I think you should try and get a good conversation going with her first, talk about something you both have in common and then ask her for her number. It seems like you both know each other so I think the chance of you getting her number is pretty high.

2 hours later 19320975 Anonymous
>>19320961 >would it be weird to ask her as a date? Yeah it would. Start out from small talk. I find that starting from statements not questions is a good opener. So instead of asking "How is your day?" Say "Its a nice day isnt it?" Just be cool and dont drag it for long. Small talk is small talk for a reason, she will escalate those talks once she will feel more comfortable with you. And one sure way to make her feel more comfortable is that if you just excange few words and you be on your way. Dont stick for too long like an idiot.

2 hours later 19320981 Anonymous
>>19320957 Don't have her number, will get it :D

2 hours later 19320991 advicegal
Who wants to hear some Advice Gal problems?

2 hours later 19320994 Anonymous
>>19320991 be quick my night shift is almost over

2 hours later 19320996 Anonymous
I don't know exactly what startling revelation or harsh truth, besides the obvious, I am expecting here. I suppose I do just want to hear the obvious. Or maybe I'm expecting unconventional wisdom. I don't know. I'm a 25 year old fat guy. I look like, uhhh, how Jonah Hill looked like when he was fat. So obviously I know that I need to lose 70-80 lbs. And shave my neckbeard. But here's the real part I need advice on. Even when I wasn't so heavy, maybe in 8-9th grade, I wasn't exactly a looker. My face is about a 5/10. So I am never going to be attractive regardless of the weight. Next off, for reasons I won't bore you with, I am extremely socially stunted (not autistic). I got pulled out of high school in the middle of the 9th grade. So I didn't have a high school experience. I never dated before my downfall in school. And so now, I'm 7 years out of high school (25), and I don't know how to talk to people, much less look at a girl in the eye, and much much less be able to gather the words to ask her out. so tldr; Fat guy, mid 20s, social hermit, no dating experience. How can I ever ask a girl out? In your personal opinion, and intuition as a female, do you think/know if a person like me gets treated like a ghost or leper? What do?

2 hours later 19320997 Anonymous
>>19320991 Go on then

2 hours later 19321006 advicegal
>>19320994 >>19320997 I honestly feel like I'm not bad looking/have a good personality, but why is it that I can't find a guy to be with? I broke up with my last boyfriend (which lasted a mere 6 months) because he treated me like shit and I later found out that he lied about 50% of the stuff he told me. I'm at the point where all my friends have boyfriends and I just feel kind of run down when it comes to finding love again

2 hours later 19321007 Anonymous
>>19320996 no you barely know how to crawl and you want to run. First get fit, then try out different hairstyles that do you justice. Boost your confidence. Get a hobby, one where you meet people. Make friends. Get more social. Then do something of your life, get a job, start a career or business. Girls come naturally as a by product of you advancing in life. You do not chase girls.

2 hours later 19321015 advicegal
>>19320996 I think that before you start asking a girl out you should be comfortable talking to people in general. You've mentioned your weight a few times in the post and I think a great way for you to be social and lose some lbs (if you want to) is to go to a gym and sign up for some classes! You will be surprised how fast you make friends and start being social because everyone is in the same environment/training session as you. So you would already have that in common (:

2 hours later 19321021 Anonymous
>>19321006 I have to go. Will answer in about 1 hour.

2 hours later 19321023 Anonymous
>>19321007 Ah. So all that PUA stuff and videos of Chads walking up to girls (cold approach) is just a meme/myth? Obviously I know that I can boost my physical attractiveness by losing the weight -- which I'm trying to do as fast as I can right now. Will take about 6 months before I'm normal looking. But I suppose, what I am asking. Let's say, we fast forward the clock. What should I do when I look normal? Where do I meet people? How do I figure out how to ask a girl on a date? Basically, I've been so isolated for so long, that I can barely hold a conversation with people IRL. Even looking at them in the eye can be a challenge. I can fix the weight by going to the gym, sure. But how do I fix my awkwardness lack of social skills? I go on /fit/ and this problem plagues many people who go on diets/work outs and then they hit a new bump " I don't know how to ask girls out?" I guess, I'm already seeing the problem.

2 hours later 19321031 Anonymous
>>19321006 If you believe in love you've got to believe in pain too. They go together. You can't have one without the other. One day you could well meet the person who's worth the pain, but if you duck out of the race completely then you'll lose that person without even realising it. All pain, no love. No one wants that

2 hours later 19321038 Anonymous
I'm tipsy too op.

2 hours later 19321058 advicegal
>>19321031 Well I haven't had a real boyfriend in a long time and I felt like I really put myself out there for this last one and it really bit me in the ass. I actually went for someone that I thought was dependable, trustworthy and sincere and he was kind of not my type but emulated the traits that I really wanted in a boyfriend. I just feel kind of lost right now in that emotional aspect of my life and its weird because i always considered myself to have a good head on my shoulders about that sort of thing

2 hours later 19321063 advicegal
>>19321038 What're you drinking anon

2 hours later 19321069 advicegal
>>19321023 check my response anon (;

2 hours later 19321073 Anonymous
>>19321058 How can you give advice, if you yourself are lost and adrift at sea? Looks like you're not a good as judge of character as you thought yourself to be. Otherwise, you wouldn't had been duped by some guy that just wanted to get into your pants. Literally fell for a confidence game.

2 hours later 19321076 Anonymous
>>19321058 Seems you have shit taste in men, tbqhwyfamalam. Not saying that as an insult, maybe from inexperience, or your mind blurring your true perception with feelings.

2 hours later 19321081 advicegal
>>19321073 Well, I broke up with him, so I didn't lose my head. I never said I'm the best person for advice, but I'm here to listen and give advice if needed. I know what I want in a person but I don't know if i'll ever find it

2 hours later 19321082 Anonymous
>>19320553 do you know how to find any femanons? if you do where do I look first? I've tried everywhere and all I see is fields and fields of camwhores. Happen to know where I can find some true femanons?

2 hours later 19321086 advicegal
>>19321076 No i get it. I think this instance was different because I decided to really give this guy a chance because he wasn't my usual type and I figured that would be good for me. Turns out it's not haha (i feel like i can laugh about it now)

2 hours later 19321089 Anonymous
>>19321081 What do you want exactly? Is it a mystical thing like a 'unicorn' or is it grounded in reality?

2 hours later 19321092 advicegal
>>19321082 I'm sorry, I really have no clue.

2 hours later 19321094 Anonymous
>>19321058 I suppose everyone misses the mark in love at least once before finding someone special. If you know what you want though you're never truly lost

2 hours later 19321095 Anonymous
>>19321092 I think a better way to rephrase his question is: how can one find an equally socially awkward girl in real life, without involving Tinder or e-dating crap? What do the socially awkward girls in your circle do? How did they meet their guys? Give us some breadcrumbs so we can follow them.

2 hours later 19321100 advicegal
>>19321089 I just want a guy that's dependable, gets my dry humor, is independent, has a decent job, and is confident in himself. I don't even want anyone super attractive. Like man crushes would be Judd Appatow, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Larry David etc. I want someone smart and light-hearted, grounded but also likes to have a good time and have a few drinks on the weekends

2 hours later 19321105 advicegal
>>19321095 Where do you like to go? Any concerts, museums, libraries, conventions? Find girls that are in places that you like to go to. I think its best to find people at places that you're interested in going to.

3 hours later 19321114 advicegal
>>19321094 But it's not my first time being in love. I think I compare myself to my friends a lot and their relationships and it kind of makes me a little upset

3 hours later 19321122 Anonymous
>>19321100 You ever stop to think that you won't be able to get everything on your list? You list the buzzwords: dependable, independent, and confident. So basically, you want a strong male provider essentially? That's typical and not entirely unreasonable. But whether this well put together guy can click with you, and get your "dry humor" is another thing altogether. People settle because they don't get their first second or third choices in life.

3 hours later 19321133 advicegal
>>19321122 I'm not saying I won't settle but I think i'm just losing hope that I won't click with anyone. I've been on 4 dates since I broke up with my ex and it's not gotten any better. I just think guys can be intimidated with me sometimes and I don't know how to help that

3 hours later 19321141 Anonymous
>>19321114 >But it's not my first time being in love That doesn't matter >I compare myself to my friends Stop that. If you spend so long looking at others' relationships you'll forget to take care of your own. Live up to your own standards, not by comparison.

3 hours later 19321142 Anonymous
>>19321133 Honestly, you sound like you might be high maintenance, if you're scaring away men, or they're not up to your standard. I'm not trying to be mean. I just think you should be realistic. You're not going to be Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey. Most men, in their twenties, don't have their shit together. If you're ascribing attributes that you typically find in older guys, like a father figure. Do you happen to have daddy issues by any chance?

3 hours later 19321150 advicegal
>>19321142 Well, i usually try and look for guys that are 25-30 only because I have my shit together. I got a really good job for my age and I feel like I hold myself to a standard to where I feel like I deserve. A lot of the 20-year-olds don't have that so that's why I do look a little older. I don't think I have any daddy issues -- we're pretty close

3 hours later 19321152 advicegal
>>19321141 Maybe comparing is my problem D:

3 hours later 19321155 Anonymous
>>19321063 Really shitty light beer. Miller lite desu. Had some left over after ice fishing

3 hours later 19321159 advicegal
>>19321155 Hey! Low cals! Good for you ;) I'm on to some champagne haha

3 hours later 19321168 Anonymous
My last girlfriend said I was too preoccupied with songwriting and working on my novel for her. I feel bad about her leaving, but I don't feel bad about pursuing what's important to me.

3 hours later 19321170 advicegal
>>19321168 Do you want to be in a relationship?

3 hours later 19321171 Anonymous
>>19321159 Might move to some strong shit. I brought a bottle of whisky with me to the cabin. I left it in the truck and am tipsy enough to get lost in the snow and end up on the news. Wish me luck femanon

3 hours later 19321174 advicegal
>>19321171 Good luck! its worth it!! Snow -- where do you live, over here we've had some crazy winds

3 hours later 19321176 Anonymous
>>19321023 Nightshift bro here Yeah PUA is bullshit. Those guys are snake oil salesmen. Just think about it: What kind of woman you want? I bet the kind of woman you want is levelheaded, fun to be around and slightly picky when it comes to guys. She doesnt take anyone. Take it from the back end. Those women had fathers or just guys that they can relate to. And thos dudes trained them to what kind of dudes to avoid. No cheesy pick up lines will work on them. They arent stupid. This PUA bullshit will work on insecure women that just want men attention and give out sex like candy. No those guys trained their doughters to look for dependable, leavel-headed, interesting guys. You want a woman that will look up to you as her hero. You want a woman that when she will introduce you to her parents she will be proud of the guy she cought and you will respect her parents and will want respect from them. You want to be friends with her friends, and siblings. This is what you want isnt it? Work hard, improve yourself. Its going to be tough but you have to endure it and stick to the plan. In few years you will look back and say to yourself what a mess I've been. First fix your problems then you will worry when to find those kind of women I'm talking about. >>19321006 Well I think that there are many guys that would make great boyfriends around you already. Problem is you arent giving them a chance. Decent guys respect peoples boundries and if they think you arent aproachable - they wont do it. Make a habit of smiling to people. A simple smile is an invitation. Many people concentrate on other gender as a source of their problems. Like "oh girls only go for douchebags" or "guys only chase bimbos" no thats cowards way out. Be fun to be with, be interested in people, don't expect a guy to do all the work, encourage good behaviour and punish bad behaviour. You say your friends have boyfriends and Im sure those boyfriends have friends that are free and available.

3 hours later 19321179 Anonymous
>>19321150 Well, just be forewarned that you may end up not liking what you're looking for (not an oxymoron). The type of male that you're looking for is very high test, conscientious (hard worker), intelligent, probably narcissistic. You might not be #1 on their priority lists, in other words. You come off as a high achiever, and most men don't like to feel out-competed by a woman. So there might be a weird power struggle in any relationship. It may not have anything to do with you personally, it's just human nature. I don't know where I'm going with this. I just find it a bit weird that you want an older guy, compare yourself to your peers, and then get depressed about reality not catching up with your expectations. It kinda sounds like you're not firmly grounded in reality. Like the other anon said, stop comparing yourself to people. Honestly, you should delete your Facebook; it's poison for the modern soul. And if you want to continue chasing this ideal man, then go right on ahead. I just hope it doesn't backfire on you. High achievers tend to, well, focus on their work, not on enjoying life and other people.

3 hours later 19321184 Anonymous
I've been having trouble sleeping for longer than I can remember and lately in the few chances I get to I get dreams so shitty I often feel even worse when I wake up. Most of the dreams are about my family, some of who passed away recently, my insecurities, and a few about just being fucking lonely Do you have any advice that could make me sleep like a normal person? You sound decent enough btw. Just keep going on dates until you click with someone you like, and try to take the initiative sometimes.

3 hours later 19321185 Anonymous
>>19321174 Hell.aka nwt canada. HBU?

3 hours later 19321186 Anonymous
>>19321150 Not that guy but I'm not sure decent guys in that age range would be looking for girls younger than 25. At that point in their lives they should have their shit together and although you say you do too, by experience a lot of women (and men for that matter) in their early 20s have no idea what they want out of a relationship or are unrealistic in their expectations. If you're solely going for older men it's no wonder you're getting hurt; mentally they're as old if not younger than you regardless of their job/lifestyle/whatever. All the guys who act their age will be looking for girls who are their age

3 hours later 19321189 Anonymous
>>19321170 I'm 25, work 10 hours a day, play in a band, and take graduate courses. I want to be in a relationship and give a girl the world, but I need to also need to devote time towards what I was put on this earth for.

3 hours later 19321190 advicegal
>>19321176 Thanks for the advice Nightshift! How was work?

3 hours later 19321193 advicegal
>>19321179 Yeah that does kind of put some guys that I date off, especially when they see materialistic things. And i don't' look for guys that are that much older; im 24 and i'm looking for 25-30; that's 6 years max. Not sure where the daddy issues are coming in

3 hours later 19321195 Anonymous
>>19321176 Thank you so much for the boost of confidence, nightshift bruh. I know it's a long road ahead. Thanks for giving me perspective. I hope I'll make it... time will tell.

3 hours later 19321196 Anonymous
>>19321150 Have you ever heard of hypergamy? Above else guys want to make their women happy. So what if his life is a mess at the moment, look for potential don't expect every guy to be perfect match because you wont ever find anyone.

3 hours later 19321200 advicegal
>>19321184 Hi anon, Have you every tried bedtime tea? Whenever i have trouble sleeping, i have some sleepy tea; you can find this at a local grocery store. I have it like 30 minutes before I go to bed (while i watch tv or something) and it knocks me right out. It's 100% natural and you won't wake up with that weird feeling that nyquil gives you. And thanks for the advice, I'll try and keep plowing through haha

3 hours later 19321203 advicegal
>>19321189 Do you think that right now is not the right time to have a gf? It seems like you're spread too thin and girls need attention. Either cut back on one aspect in your life or you're going to end up single

3 hours later 19321205 advicegal
>>19321185 Upstate NY; what whiskey are you getting?

3 hours later 19321206 Anonymous
>>19321193 Well you put in three buzzwords that are normally associated with strong older males, typically men in father roles. Coupled with the fact that you want an older male, who is even less likely to get on with you culturally/emotionally -- you start to sound a bit confused. As a psych major, my immediate thought was maybe you have daddy issues. It's not a huge leap. A typical profile of a woman with the things you mentioned, will usually have abandonment issues. Lack of strong male role models etc. My guess is that you're still seeking out something, that you feel missing in your life because you didn't have it growing up. ...And yeah, you're self medicating with booze in order to cope with your despair while offering advice to other misfits on a Japanese cartoon website. Talk about "the blind leading the blind."

3 hours later 19321208 advicegal
>>19321196 I definitely agree with that, but I also want someone that I can relate to in a career/money wise. I don't want to feel bad if i pick a restaurant that he can't afford but that I can -- which is why i look for someone a little older (and i think having a cap at 6 years older isn't too bad)

3 hours later 19321211 advicegal
>>19321206 yikes, maybe you nee

3 hours later 19321213 advicegal
>>19321206 Having a 6 year limit shouldn't consider someone as a "strong older male" I'm 24. I have a good job and I want someone that could be my equal or better. I think you may need a drink -- its the weekend after all (;

3 hours later 19321216 Anonymous
>>19321205 Some random Canadian crap I picked up from here. I'm from nyc(also hell but less cold) really but live up here sometimes. I like upstate ny

3 hours later 19321221 Anonymous
>>19321193 You are oversimplifying. I'm not rich and I dated rich women before. Those things are just things. What put me off in those women was their focus on those things. Like the stuff they bought weren't there to make their life's easier and better - they worked hard to acquire this stuff as a symbol of status. That's really vain. You should just give more guys a chance. Dont focus on finding your perfect man because he doesn't exist or isn't interested in you. So what if your next boyfriends doesnt make as much as you do, he's sloppy and isnt James Bond level Charismatic. Maybe just good heart and willingness to improve himself should be enough. Some men just need a nudge in good direction. Have you tought about that?

3 hours later 19321222 Anonymous
>>19321203 I've always been like this, even before I entered college. I grew up independent so I don't really ask much of others. I'm incredibly loyal and devoted to others who are important to me, but I just kind of learned to swing my own way. If now's not a "good" time to have a lover I don't know when would be one.

3 hours later 19321223 advicegal
>>19321216 Awesome! Do you have anything on your mind tn? (:

3 hours later 19321228 Anonymous
>>19320553 why do you pretend to be a woman on the internet?

3 hours later 19321229 Anonymous
>>19321221 I have to second this. You can't really put things like earnings at the forefront when looking for a partner and expect to be happy. What if the guy is a dick, has kids from a previous relationship, is an alcoholic, or has nothing going on for him except for his job? Is that an attractive person to you?

3 hours later 19321232 Anonymous (31E5CD39-E550-46C3-A17B-55F859EF4909.jpg 4032x3024 1790kB)
>>19320553 Im at in n out, what do you want?

3 hours later 19321233 Anonymous
>>19321223 Not really. But ill bite.. ummm so of course this is probably dependent on the woman but how do I become somebody so interesting that women are literally enamored when they meet me? Like totally irresistible. I tried axe , smoking cigarettes and leaning on objects while smoking cigarettes...not working.

3 hours later 19321234 advicegal
>>19321221 The thing is, I've dated a "sloppy" artist type before and I never got anything out of it. Materialistic stuff aside -- I feel like in all my relationships I've always been the nurturer and I'm sick of it. I want someone to start taking care of me

3 hours later 19321237 advicegal
>>19321232 Never had In and Out!

3 hours later 19321240 advicegal
>>19321233 I think being intelligent really makes a girl enamored. Have a hobby that you're interested in and can't help talking about. Read books, have cool facts. Also good conversational skills are also part of it -- be confident in yourself is all :)

3 hours later 19321241 Anonymous
>>19321213 As other anons have already mentioned, you're comparing everything. You're comparing yourself to potential boyfriends: what's their job? Do they make as much as you? Are they 'better'? You do this before even getting to know them, when it's more worthwhile to understand them as a person before ranking them by symbols of status. With this way of thinking it's no wonder guys are intimidated. You need to relax and focus on whether the guy makes you happy and not be distracted by his age or job or wallet

3 hours later 19321242 Anonymous
>>19320661 have you tired getting casual sex? literally most guys are willing to pump you up if you agree not to tell anyone

3 hours later 19321247 Anonymous
>>19321213 You can disagree with my assessment, but 5 +/- year gaps are substantial, especially in your developmental age group. You're trying to leapfrog over your early twenties, and basically get a glorified sugar daddy. You don't want to do any of the normal growing pains with a peer of your age. I pulled out the reference to Fifty Shades earlier because that whole story is about some 21 year old doing the hypergamy thing with a 30 year old. I'll just echo what I wrote earlier. You may end up regretting this ideal older partner. You're unlikely to be considered an 'equal' by the type of guy that you want. You're totally going to be dominated. Just a heads up. But maybe you want that, so long as he brings home the bacon. Whatever you want, lady. Drinking - I don't drink. I find most people who drink, especially in non-social situations, like yours, to be incredibly obnoxious, and usually pathologically broken. ;)

3 hours later 19321251 advicegal
>>19321229 Why is everyone making someone in the range of 25-30 sound so old? most of these guys are not parents or alcoholics, but have their shit together and are really ready to start looking for a real relationship vs trying to get a job (like most 20 year olds).

3 hours later 19321252 Anonymous
>>19321240 I used to be interested in conversation but as of late have literally nothing or any interest to really talk anymore. Sad right?

3 hours later 19321256 Anonymous
>>19321234 I cant do it, its impossible, I'm not gonna make it excuses excuses excuses I'm telling you there's a perfect guy for you and you probobly already know him. He sent you friend request on facebook and is thinking to himself "naah girl like that wont ever date me" Shake it off, fix yourself, look for good in people.

3 hours later 19321262 advicegal
>>19321247 What normal growing pains though? I'm just confused. I don't want a frat guy that's 23 -- that's all. I just think my maturity age is higher than that. I'm not saying I'm dating a 30-year-old, but if I date a 26-year-old when I'm 24 does that really make me have daddy issues? I don't think so. It's not about the bacon but mentality. If there is a 30-year-old who acts like he's 20 I won't see him. It's not age or money, its compatibility and normally I don't get along with guys in their early twenties

3 hours later 19321267 advicegal
>>19321242 I have, but my FB moved a few months back

3 hours later 19321272 Anonymous
>>19321267 there is literally an endless suply, if you had a stable fuck budy you cant be that deformed

3 hours later 19321275 Anonymous
>>19321237 if youre a woman surely ouve had your fair deal of penis in your vagina hehe because owmen receive sexed sex hehe

3 hours later 19321276 Anonymous
I'm curious now. What is your occupation? You don't have to be specific, i.e. "I work for so and so company."

3 hours later 19321285 advicegal
>>19321272 I'm not deformed haha I think lately, I haven't been in the mood to find a new one (lately the gym has replaced that)

4 hours later 19321288 advicegal
>>19321276 I work for a company that sells a financial management platform to big banks -- tech company

4 hours later 19321294 Anonymous
>>19321240 So having hobbies is a good thing so long as you aren't actively pursuing them and trying to do accomplish something with them?

4 hours later 19321297 advicegal
>>19321294 What do you mean?

4 hours later 19321298 Anonymous
>>19321285 i was talking to the deformed kissles virgin

4 hours later 19321299 Anonymous
>>19321252 Basically asking what else I can do to compensate for the lack of conversation. I'm a great listener but not so great at talking anymore.

4 hours later 19321303 advicegal
>>19321299 Being a good listener is good but when you feel like saying something in the conversation you should and not hold yourself back

4 hours later 19321304 Anonymous
>>19321251 They're not old, but they're in a vastly different place to the majority of girls under 25. They know exactly what they want and they have the means to get it, whilst you've admitted previously in this thread that you feel 'lost'. Immediately then you are not equals. He's at an advantage and if he feels superior you could get hurt, which yet again is something that you've admitted has happened. You're after stability, a man and not a boy, someone to take care of you. What a surprise, so is every other young woman out there. Do you think the guys who meet those criteria are readily available? You've said it yourself, they're hard to find. Add to that the fact that a man with his 'shit together' is probably not looking for a younger woman who drinks multiple glasses of wine and takes her problems to a Taiwanese fly-fishing forum. I'm aware that this all sounds incredibly harsh and I'm sorry for that, but it seems that in my opinion the issues you're facing are due to the bad decisions you're making right now and you need someone to tell you that. A good job isn't the measure of success. Happiness is. And you sure as shit ain't happy

4 hours later 19321306 Anonymous
I have a dumb infatuation with a coworker, what do I do? I don't think it's mutual, she's just a friendly person, says hi to me, we don't know each other very well. I'm worried that I'm a bit obvious about it and gonna creep her out, I try to steal a glance at her whenever I walk past her department, but she's still friendly so I guess she can't know. Yeah I don't really know what I'm asking here.

4 hours later 19321310 Anonymous
How do you recommend getting over crushes bc I get realy soul crushing ones and embarrass myself helpppppp

4 hours later 19321313 Anonymous
>>19321303 its less about that im holding myself back but everything to do with 2017 being the worst year in my life. I feel like all my hopes and dreams were stepped on and while I still have some options I am still very much soured and wronged by me not getting what I wanted and what I deserved. ( this is job related and basically irrelevant in 5 years) . Literally the first time I've spoken about something that happened in sept 2017. All the work I put in, everything....to dust. In lighter news. I finally got that whisky. Could you throw me some femanon magic? I could use some lady advice at this point and none of that generic manly man, tougher than steel bullshit I seem to be getting.

4 hours later 19321314 Anonymous
>>19321240 You mentioned not liking "sloppy artists" even though just about all worthwhile hobbies involve art. Is it even a real hobby if you aren't producing your own work?

4 hours later 19321316 Anonymous
>>19321262 The growing pains of dealing with someone in their twenties, who may or may not have their shit together, but you still nurture a relationship like a plant, and look for the pay off in the end. By the sounds of it, you want the pay off now. You wanting for a 30 year old guy, with an established career, probably salt and pepper, year of maturity through having been around longer than you -- that's like trying to skip the normal process. When you say definitively "I dont want to date guys of my age because I've been burned on x number of dates, and my friends have better boy friends. blah blah blah" -- it makes you sound immature. The point behind dating, besides the freaking money, is finding a compatible partner, who is your equal (or as close as they will ever be), whom you respect and love for their character, and personality. They just be establishing themselves, or finding a career, but you should be more receptive of the idea of helping them out. If you're so ahead of the curve, then you could help mentor them (grow the plant). Really, an age requirement shouldn't be found when looking for an ideal partner. It's arrogant, short sighted, insincere. If you want to write guys off your age, then go ahead. It's your life. It may or may not blow up in your face. Honestly an older guy (with money) who would want to date a 23 year old, is the type to cheat on you later in life, when they decide it's time to upgrade the freshest ass.

4 hours later 19321322 advicegal
>>19321304 Now, lets not get it twisted. I'm not unhappy in my romantic life its just stagnant, but i'm sure as hell not happy. I think you're trying to overanalyze a little bit. I think right now, I've felt like I haven't had a good relationship this past year so I'm still a little hurt by it. That's all. Thanks for your help, but I feel like you're twisting my words/meaning a little bit that's all Thanks though :)

4 hours later 19321335 Anonymous
>>19320597 I disagree. It sounds delicious.

4 hours later 19321337 Anonymous
>>19321316 This Advicegal you are a freaking millenial. You want a an asset of a boyfriend to show off in front of your girlfriends like latest iphone. You want a copy of your dad and you want it now. Just entitlement and no effort, because you "deserve it" you are so special... just like the rest of your generation.

4 hours later 19321342 Anonymous
>>19320553 would you like to be part of an harem that gets impregnated and bred by an alpha male who has a lot of women and you must be his slave but he treats you alll super good and lovingly plus hes a tall alpha male muscled super muscled with a six pack and suepr intelligent and nice face? you need to have baby impregantiaon insaide your pussy utersus would you accept?

4 hours later 19321344 Anonymous
>>19321337 Right, because boomers deserved anything. Fuck off. Millennial want the same. Less work, more pension. They want exactly the same shit. A fair shot, a chance. Except we got boomer logic >5 years experience for entry level min wage jobs Go eat a fucking dick you prick. I hope your boomercare runs out so you literally crumble.

4 hours later 19321349 Anonymous (1468149493617.jpg 640x480 14kB)
I'm hoping I came to the right thread... I just got back from a night out with some friends. A girl struck a conversation with me, claiming that she thought she knew me (she doesn't). We hit it off very well. We talked, danced, talked some more, I took her back home with her friend. She added me on FB and now I'm going to her house in the afternoon to chill and play video games. She appears to like me (having started hitting on me in the first place), but I've been royally screwed over before and I'm not the best at reading signs. Any tips on how NOT to fuck up? I'm willing to give some more context if this helps.

4 hours later 19321351 Anonymous
>>19321344 Im not a boomer. Age wise Im in millenial generation but I dont subscribe to milenial fucked up logic

4 hours later 19321355 Anonymous
>>19321322 Sweetie, people are just reading things into your situation, based on what you're telling us. If you're more well put together than we're giving you credit for, then please ignore us. Having a stagnant romantic life at 23 is not the end of the world. Maybe you really should stop comparing yourself to your ladyfriends on FB or IG. And do go easy on the champagne and wine. You don't want to end up an alcoholic. So many people in high stress occupations end up with substance abuse issues.

4 hours later 19321360 Anonymous
>>19321351 So you subscribed to self damaging boomer logic?

4 hours later 19321383 Anonymous
>>19320553 Hey this girl I just met was vibing me real hard i.e. playing with hair , showing neck , couldn't break eye contact, pupil expanding she was torn out of conversation with me from someone else telling her to go talk to others because we had spent too long talking when it was just a going around the room saying bye and a few words. After that when she was leaving I asked for number and got a pause "mmm maybe later" His bad is it? Is this tactful no?

4 hours later 19321389 Anonymous
>>19321383 shes playing with you, girls do that to raise their self esteem. good luck being the toy of someone too bad you cant experience real interactions

4 hours later 19321390 Anonymous (abc68e3d6297223ec57162b622464e80.jpg 997x768 110kB)
Hey Advicegirl, I've been reading through this whole thread and it's been a chill read, you seem like such a nice and genuinely helpful person. Keep at it. I didn't write it here because I felt it didn't quite fit the thread, but since you seem to have some insight into people being hopelessly awkward and clueless, I'm curious if you'd have any input on my situation here: >>19321235 >>19321271

4 hours later 19321394 Anonymous
>>19320553 How should I cope with being a 5’8” manlet

4 hours later 19321404 Anonymous
>>19321394 date girls who are shorter than you, thats literally the only way it should ever affect you, anyhtign more than that and youre just an insecure faggot

5 hours later 19321471 Anonymous
>>19320553 Hey advice-chan, please read >>19321349 if you didn't get the chance

5 hours later 19321513 Anonymous
>>19321351 >unironically falling for the I WAS BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION meme nigga u dumb

7 hours later 19321655 Anonymous
Okay, there's this girl I met 3 weeks ago at the Open Day of my school. There I am, me and my buddy, and she approaches us and asks "Excuse me, do you know where the maths teacher is?". We give her directions and she walks off. 30 seconds later my friend says "Dude, I think she's attracted to us." I didn't realise at first but when I thought back, she was smiling a lot, and looking me in the eyes etc... I was too retarded to say anything at that moment. So a week goes by and I decide to send her a message over Instagram (she doesn't have Facebook and I don't have her number). That conversation didn't exactly go too well: I asked her if she was the girl at my school, she replies saying that that's possible, and asks me who I am. I tell her that I was there too, with my buddy. She asks me which one of the two I am, I send her a pic. She asks me if I'm the taller or the smaller one (ouch), I tell her that I'm the smaller one of the two. Then, she replies with "I thought so", and "But how the fuck did you get my name?". I tell her that I saw her on the Instagram feed of a friend, then she finally says "aah ok". After this, I am too scared to do anything. I don't want to dig any deeper before I'm sure that I'm not falling into it myself, if you know what I mean. Now, yesterday I realised what a dumb fuck I was for not taking that conversation any further. So, I ask her what's up, and if she's coming to my school next year. She says "just because I visited your school doesn't mean I'm coming, eh". I tell her that that's not what I meant, that I wanted to know why she would switch schools in the first place. Then, she responds "I don't feel like saying it all." Again, I didn't want to say anything wrong, so I said nothing. Now, am I just being too intrusive? Am I just a shitty conversationalist? Or is this girl politely telling me to fuck off? All help appreciated, I've never been in a relationship before and I don't want to screw this up.

7 hours later 19321661 Anonymous
>>19321394 By acquiring currency, fucking bitches, and laughing at the 6'3" virgins.

11 hours later 19322040 Anonymous
>>19321190 thx for asking advicegal! It was boring like all nightshifts. Just keeping stuff running. Only thing that happened today was pipes in basement broke.

11 hours later 19322088 Anonymous
>>19321349 Be honest, if you feel insecure and shy just say it. I've found out that honesty can take you further than playing mind games. People respect you more and there can be no love without respect.

12 hours later 19322091 Anonymous
>>19320650 So what you're saying is, you overpaid.

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